Help!! My Son Won't Stay in His Room!

Oh my gosh, same problems!! I finally went to Target and got this great walk through gate, it's bars and not squares, there is no way to get a foot hold, it's pricy but worth it. good luck!

Hi B.,

I'd like to "empower" you a little: it sounds like his getting into everything and climbing the gate may just be his way of saying, "hey look ma': not enough limits."

I'm *not* saying you don't set limits, just maybe you've either loosened your limits a little too early, or haven't set them high enough to begin with.

My 2 (now 3) year old wouldn't think of walking out of his own room in the morning -- and he's totally capable of doing it. If he needs anything, he calls to me (and I didn't do it with anger, punishments, or even harsh words), we just have set expectations in our home, and everyone is expected to stick to them. And with a boy - I think you'll want him to understand there *are* things he can not do without Mom or Dad: climb ladders, turn on Dad's saw, drive the truck, etc (ha-ha!)

I'm not saying it works 100% either, but our boy *knows* when he's breaking a rule :)

Good luck with your sweetie!
T

Dear B.,
Obviously you feel safe with him in his room, so why not just reverse lock it--that is, put the locking mechanism on the OUTSIDE? There are different ways to do this. Some doorknobs you can just unscrew and reverse, others you cannot. But you can put a slide lock up high on the outside, so that only adults can reach it, but he cannot open it even if it is unlocked on the inside. Just don't leave him ANYWHERE by himself for too long! Children can always find a way to harm themselves.
K.

Turn the door knob around on his door, so the lock is on the outside. That way, he won't be able to get out....worked WONDERS for our kiddos!

Best,
C.

If he's old enough to recognize numbers, get a big digital clock and put it in his room. Tell him when it says 7:00, or whatever time you're comfortable with, then he can come out. Draw the number 7 next to it to help him recognize and remember. I've heard it helps from several people. Also, you can teach him how to turn the music on the clock (most have a radio it seems) and that might entertain for a while.

I just shut my son's door at night when he was that young. Otherwise, he was wandering around the house all night. Once I went adjust the A/C in the middle of the night and he was riding his bike around the house in the pitch black, and he was barely 2. We started shutting his door after that and childproofed the doorknob from the inside so he couldn't open the door. It just became part of his bedtime routine. Now we give him the choice--he can have it open if he stays in there and is quiet. No yelling at us from the doorway or coming out every other second or else the door is shut (we make exceptions if it seems to be a legitimate need such as potty or drink or a genuine fear. but we try to be careful about these before it comes a bad habit just to get attention. So we just take care of the need and immediately back to bed he goes).

We have childproof handles on the insides of the kids doors.

B.,
Well I am very surprised to hear how many people lock their kids in their room. I have never done that. I always presented it to my son as a good way to show how mature he is by getting up and being respectful of others in the house. I showed him what he could play with. I put his juice/milk cup on the bottom shelf in the fridge and we've never had a problem. Of course we did have a couple of spilled cereal boxes, but that's easy to fix. Every time I give him an opportunity to show he's good he knows doing good at one thing will result in more fun for him. Like since he is so responsible he can ride his bike down the street 2 more houses. Even now he is constantly trying to prove how mature he can be, so he can get more privileges.
Show him that it works both ways. Since you showed how good you can be in the morning I think you can handle....
K.

Oh yeah we have this problem. We have turned the doorknob around on my daughter's room so that she cannot get out. That way you can lock it from the outside. Even the childproof doorknobs weren't enough after a while. Good luck!

When I moved into a new house I put a gate at the end of the hallway for the same reason. My son was good... but just to be safe. I worked wonders... when my daughter started walking my son being helpful taught her to open her door. Then she taught him how to climb the gate. (They are 2 yrs apart) I ended up double stacking agtes in the hallway. The found a toybox and still climbed. Then they figured out how to open the pressure gates and omit climbing all together.

With my son the doorknob covers worked as well. He stayed in his room. With my daughter she found a way around them, it was just easier to get up in the mornings.

You might think this response is crazy, but here's what we started doing with our daughter when she was 2 years old. We have an alarm clock that has a CD player in it. If she wakes up and her music is not on she can get out of bed and read books or play with stuffed animals. She is not allowed to leave her room until the CD plays. She was too young to tell time and I didn't want an annoying alarm to jar her out of sleep if she was still sleeping when wake up time came. We are very consistent with the wake-up time and she loves the music on her CD. We have been doing this for 2 years now. Some mornings she actually stays in her room a little longer and just listens to the music because she enjoys it. Hope that helps!

My son would never DREAM of staying in his room in the morning. So we have taught him that if he wants to get up earlier than mommy (he does about half the time)and not be locked in his room, he has to come straight to mommy's room and wake me up. There are times when I'm dragging my butt tired, but when that happens I usually take a little nap when my husband gets home in the afternoon.
B.

I know they have those door knob covers (Target carries them) that kids can't open. We have one on our front door because my 3 year old thinks he can go out whenever he feels like it. But since we put up the door knob cover he CAN'T figure out how to get out. Hope this might help. Good luck!

We stacked two gates, one right on top of the other. That kept my daughter in for a long time. We did that for almost nine months and now she is finally staying in her room. That's the only suggestion I have, but it worked!

I knew a friend who put a screen door on the bedroom door and it even locked! That way, you can hear him, but he can stay in his room.