Help My Son Won't Stop Spitting

My son just turned three and while two seemed fairly easy 3 has had more challenges. Other than being consistent and letting him know your expectations and the consequences of such actions I am not sure. However, perhaps it like the experimentation of innapropriate words. IGNORE it and see if that helps. Perhaps, since he knows it gains him attention, albeit negative he continues to do it. My son just started to spit as well, although usually in the bath. I try not to pay much attention to it (since he needs to figure out how to spit out toothpaste sometime soon).

Try ignoring it and see what happens. If he's spitting in places that need to be cleaned up, rather than make a big deal about spitting maybe say, whoops, spitting in the house isn't good lets clean it up and make him wipe it up. I think barnali's response is great and goes a bit further with my idea. Soap.. while might be affective, in the short term, I personally don't believe soap, hotsauce or any punishment that hurts truly gets across the right message. Positive redirection, in the long run I believe will end with better results. Good luck.

Good luck
L.

I have a 3 year-old and completely understand! He's obviously doing it for attention from the in-laws. Try the opposite tact--tell him if he doesn't do it for one day (one hour, one minute :-) you'll give him a treat of some kind. Stickers, videos, whatever will motivate him. Then next time they come, do the same thing and he only gets the "treat" if he gets through the visit without acting out. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my son. Some will disagree with the tactics we used to solve it, but this is what we did:

We explained that the germs from his mouth could make others sick, and that he was no longer allowed to spit. We told him that if he was going to continue spitting, we were going to rinse his mouth with soap so at least his spit would be "cleaner". We only had to soap him once, and the spitting stopped.

Hi A.,

I totally understand the phase you are going thru. 3 year olds are big enough to understand what hurts others and what is bad/good. Only time-out is not the solution. You may win over it with punishments but will get some other behavioural challenge. Instead, wheneven he spits, do the following :

tell him let us clean it now, else you may get infected.

spiting on toys - Oh no! toy has become dirty and sick due to spitting, let us give it bath or sponge it...depending upon the toys type.

Spitting on people - They will get hurt sweety, let us not hurt them, it pains when we get hurt doesn't it.

These reactions will give him positive directions of improving and he will feel you are affectionate towards him and not his enemy.

If he goes very wild, take time out with him, yes, I mean you too. In the same room make two corners for yourself too. Make it clear to him that you are upset you scolded him or felt sorry for his act, so you too need timeout to think what can be done instead. Ask him to think and apologise for his did. If he does not say sorry, forget it, don't force him. This will take little time, and lots of your patience but the outcome would be great.

I did the same with my daughter who learned to say Shutup to anyone and everyone. I resorted to scolding but it would make her more aggressive and impatient.

When kids are very angry, sit down on knees, face to their shoulder level, explain the right thing in shortest way possible and give a warm hug. Start counting 1-10 and say, we will cool down at the count of 10. Atleast it worked with my daughter gradually. Now when she is angry, she herself counts and cool down many times.