Help! Need Ideas to De-chaos Christmas Eve!

In my family, we have a Christmas Eve day Luncheon. We exchange gifts between adults and my Mom usually gets something for everyone and we all get something for her. The kids get to help a lot and they definitely all get something from Grandma but nothing from the other adults. We let them be involved with passing out presents and help to open them sometimes. We all go around the room individually and unwrap presents and all "eyes" are on the person opening the gift-which makes it individual and a chance for the receiver to express Thanks for the gift. We then all help clean up. It's worked really well for years. Maybe others feel the same way you do and remember change won't happen unless someone speaks up and suggests other ways to do things. If you have a good relationship with SIL, I might give her a call on the 23 or before you all get together and run a couple of ideas past her. Just say something like, "you know, I'm so excited to see you all on Christmas Eve, but with all the hustle and bustle of shopping etc., I want it to be a more relaxing time together. Would you be open to having the kids open up a a couple of presents on Christmas Eve rather than all of them and have them each do it individually. The adults could open one or two as well and then everyone leaves with a gift in hand and a warm heart to boot!" I hope you have a less chaotic Christmas Eve...

My husbands family has a LOT of kids as well. What we USED to do was hand out all the gifts and open one at a time - youngest to oldest. But now with so many kids (it would take FOREVER and the kids are not patient enough or able to stay up that late) is we all open one (at the same time) and then go around and share what it is, who it is from.

Maybe you could suggest just having the 5 kids take turns - going one at a time and opening gifts. If it is important to you, I think you should say something. OR, you could not say something and just allow your daughter to experience the chaos there, but then emphasize calm opening traditions when you are alone. What does your husband think?

This would never be a problem for me. I would just bring one or two non essential gifts for my kid to open. I would make sure they were big/oversized, so they'd be easy to find and there would be no denying who they belonged to. And then I'd take that opportunity to sit back w/my glass of wine in some corner chair and do a couple of rounds of Tetris on my husband's iPhone.

I would not take on 4 kids and a bunch of relatives who are used to opening up their gifts in mass chaos. There is no way any of them will agree to opening their presents in a more calmer, peaceful manner after all these years. If you suggest a change and even lobby for it through other relatives, you might be laughed at and you'll end up disappointed anyway. Sorry.

Well that is pretty much the same way as our family. But I think you are putting too much worry into it. Maybe you could say something to your SIL like "how about, before everyone opens their gifts, that they could say who the gift is from, so we can all see it" or something like that. Say everyone needs to slow down an bit so we can all enjoy seeing the gifts be open. You can just make some suggestions that way it doesn't seem like you are complaining about it. But IMO, when you have a lot of people together that is just the way it ends up being. The important thing is that you are all together and spending the holiday together. My SIL has tried to get all the kids to slow down in our family too, and it works some, but the kids are just too excited to sit there and open them up one by one.

Yes, try the Santa thing, even the kids can take turns playing Santa.

We open gifts one at a time, not one person at a time (that takes forever!!), but we each have the kids open the gift together, they read who it's from, open it, then show it off. Then, they all get a round of their next gifts and the process starts over. It helps them to be thankful to the person who sent it and calms things down. Just tell your sil that you want to make sure your kids know who each gift is from and that you have a great idea on keeping it a bit more organized.

As for the wrapping paper, have bags around each kid and teach them to put the paper in the bags.

Okay, my in laws do this as well and it drives me CRAZY! I know I can be a little neruotic and such, but I don't like this at all! I don't however suggest you say anything to your SIL. I've found that they don't get it and will think you are crazy or boring, so my suggestion is to just talk to you child and help your child keep track of the presents as best you can. Before even going over there tell your child that when it's present opening time you are going to expect they say something nice about the presents and thank each person individually for the gifts, etc. etc. I understand in the frenzy that you might miss something but do your best to mentally log the gifts and make sure your child gives hugs/kisses/thanks to everyone and then let it go. It's the best you can do while still setting a standard for your child but not stepping on the toes of those who aren't on your page.

Make it a big deal that you want a picture of each child holding up the gift wrapped package and then a photo after it has been opened up.

This way these photos can be emailed or printed and mailed with the Thank you cards the kids are going to send to the gift givers.

When we were kids and all met at my Grandmothers home.. There were almost 20 cousins there all at once. We each were given gifts from a particular family all at one.. So we knew Aunt A and Uncle B gave us the Etch a sketch.. Then we all knew Grandmother either gave us each a Barbie or the GI Joe..

It seemed to still be exciting, but we all were opening up the gifts together.

Agreed, I have had to sit through watching each child open every single gift while the other Santa child passes them out. It is awful!
It takes forever and ever and ever, and they all get antsy & start to open gifts anyways. The focus is on the gifts not on spending time together, because you are opening gifts for so long.
Trust me it is worse!

Once you get past opening the gift you can spend the family time together.
Try to enjoy the crazy day & have a calm tradition at home.

This is EXACTLY how my mom acts. She wants to tear into all the presents and it's INSANE. I HATE how she yells at the kids to open them and go onto the next one. GOD FORBID you actually LOOK at the damn thing.

When my grandparents were alive it wasn't like this. Granted I could have lived without holding up my new undies and socks but it was relaxed.

My sister hosts all our holidays and she TRIES to pace things but ALPHA MOM has to push and push until the kids are unhinged. My son is only 4 1/2 and even knows it's crazy how things get.

We go at a decent pace at our house and actually enjoy the process. My question is WHAT IS THE BIG RUSH? Do you have another family you need to go and be with?

Have not read all your answers but yes, I would control it and suggest a way to do that. Don't say anything about her kids doing something.....just suggest, hey was thinking we can play santa and pass around one gift for each child, they open it at the same time and then show everyone then pick another child to pass out. I think that is a great idea and her kids may even love it. Discuss with here ahead of time to prepare everyone. Just tell her that you miss out on seeing all the stuff everyone gets and you hope it will be more under a control enviroment now that they are getting older.

move her and her presents a little over to the side of the chaos so that it is a little more tamed!

If this is local family, then I'd suggest you all save some gifts for Christmas morning. As families change and grow, so do traditions. We are now breaking way from the big local family christmas gift opening frenzy. There are just too many kids for it to be any fun and special. But since it seems you are committed, I'd get out a huge black trash bag, set it up and take some leadership in how to start out. Frankly playing santa makes the whole thing last way to long with so many people so maybe suggest that everyone open one gift in a taking tuns fashion and then let em loose. Then make plans to alter your traditions next year.