HELP - Putting 2 Year to Bed

I have 3 year old twins, and we've had sleep issues for most of their lives. I read a book called Good Night Sleep Tight, and it was great and helped me, but it seems like kids go through so many different phases as they grow and nothing helps for long. I'm starting to wonder if I'll have to just accept the fact that my kids arent easy sleepers. My mom told me once that she's never known of a kid that has gone and stayed in bed always. I think people that have children like that should thank their lucky stars!!!!

Hi S.. I have four children and have battled all sorts of bedtime issues. You need to read the book Better Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It seems to me that you should definitly take away the nap time and make it a quiet time instead. "Let's just lay in your bed and rest." Read some books. Lay down and set a timer for five minutes and when it dings you can get up. Add more time each day if needed. At night, for me, I stick to the routine and once I say goodnight I do not say a word to the child again until morning. Never pick them up and carry them back to the bed. Do not say a word. Just take their hand and walk them calmly back to the bed, put them in it, put on the covers and walk away. You might have to do it many times the first few nights, but eventually they realize how much work it is for them with no rewards and they give up. No kisses or hugs or anything. It becomes less frustrating for both of you. Good luck.

Get this book: 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child', by Marc Weissbluth. It helped me tremendously.

I had a similar problem with my then 2 year old, and this method worked very well. To summarize:

When your child gets out of bed, you take him by the hand and put him back in bed, all the while remaining silent (and neutral-not mad). You repeat this as many times as necessary. The key is to remain silent throughout this process; anything you say, whether it's in a mad tone or a comforting tone, will reinforce the behavior.

It helps to position yourslef close (but out of sight) of the bedroom door, so that you can intercept him before he gets too far.

The first night I did this my son got out of bed maybe 30 times (no exaggeration!) making all sorts of excusues as to why he had to get out of bed. I remained silent the entire time. he finally collapsed out of sheer exhaustion, and went to sleep. It was the first night in his life that he fell asleep on his own.

The 2nd night he got out of bed maybe 2 times. I stuck with this method from that time on and he's been a relatively good sleeper since.

It could be he doesn't need as much sleep as most kids do. My mom told me she finally gave up making me take naps when I was 2 because I just kept my siblings awake by singing and "reading" them stories. After that I slept better at night. I still get by on less sleep than most. I use the extra time on creative pursuits. You are probably blessed with a gifted youngster.

Hi, S.. Well, I have a few suggestions that may help. First, I think that for a child who is reluctant to go to sleep, it is important to get that child tired enough to want to do it. Try making sure he has enough physical activities later in the day so that his body will need to rest. Also, make sure that he doesn't eat or drink anything very sugary at or after dinner; that includes sodas, which also have caffeine, which of course will give him tremendous energy and keep him alert at the wrong times. It might help to model the fact that this is bedtime for everyone -- if he sees that you are putting him to bed but you are staying up to do fun things, he will feel left out and want to join you. So maybe you should put on your pajamas, too, and make sure he knows you're going to bed, too, and that everyone needs to do this right at that time.

I would also start limiting his nap time during the day. Don't take it away totally just yet because if he gets overtired, he will be cranky, upset, and unable to sleep because he is overtired. But I would start waking him up 15 minutes earlier than usual for the first week, then gradually a little earlier than that, so that he will become tired toward the end of the day because he did not get a huge block of sleep during the day.

I don't understand what you mean about taking the gate down off his door. You mean the baby gate? Maybe you should put it back up so that he can't get out of his room when he's naughty at bedtime. If he manages to sleep on the floor, that's not a horrible thing as long as the floor is clean; eventually, he will get the message that his bed is more comfortable than the floor, and he will prefer the bed. I know that sounds harsh, but it's not because you are not punishing him or anything. You can always pick him up and put him in the bed if he falls asleep on the floor.

Another thing -- it sounds like he's getting a whole lot of positive attention for disobeying his bed time! Make sure you don't play with him or give him much attention when he does this behavior. Holding him and singing to him, which don't seem to put him to sleep at all, are giving him a reward for staying up past your limits, so he has a really good incentive for breaking your rules. Make sure he doesn't get a reward in any way for disobeying you.

Also, unfortunately, a lot of children do not take mothers seriously as the disciplining parent. It might be necessary for his dad or some other authority figure to put him to bed and lay down the rules. There is no harm in this. Maybe if both of you do it together, he will understand that you both are united and you both mean business. This may especially be true if he is used to getting his way by running from you to Dad, who does the opposite of what you want your son to do.

All kinds of things can be factors. There might be some kind of noise in the house or coming from outside which might be energizing him, too. You might be able to minimize that by keeping the TV off at night until he falls asleep, or by soundproofing his room somehow. On the other hand, he might be agitated because it's too quiet! In that case, you might even get him a little radio with headphones or music player to keep him quietly occupied until he falls asleep. I know there are things that go into a child's crib with soft lights and music which soothe a child to sleep; this kind of thing can be mounted on the wall, if necessary, to help out.

Well, I hope these ideas are helpful to you, and that you all find a way to sleep peacefully very, very soon!

Peace,
Syl

How about skipping the afternoon nap? Or maybe some more activity during the daytime? Could be he's not tired enough?

Have you found any good solutions yet? My almost 2 yr old falls asleep in our room we move in his bed and he wakes a few hrs later and he is back in our bed. HELP!
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I have this problem from time to time and I watched an episode of Supernanny one night where the child was doing the exact same thing! I use this technique and it does work...you just have to be persistent, consistent, and firm. Ok, so you tuck him in, and say goodnight. You leave the room but he follows you a few minutes later. Take him by the hand, bring him to his room, tuck him in again and say, "it's time to sleep. Goodnight..." and leave the room. If he's like my son, then this won't end there. He will follow you again...bring him back to his bed, tuck him in but this time say nothing. Leave the room. However many times you have to bring him back to his bed, say nothing. Just put him in his bed, and leave the room. Trust me, he will get bored with this "game" because he won't be getting a response from you. Just remember to say goodnight only the first time you have to bring him back to his room and say not a word to him the next several times. Have your husband help because after the 5th time, you will get tired of going back and forth. Good luck!

My advice is pretty simple: lots of exercise and no milk before bed (or get it down to just a few sips). The milk can disrupt some kids' sleep and also make toilet training 10 times harder!!! From your description, it sounds like he still has tons of energy left ... you mentioned he has a cast on his broken leg, so that may be the reason he is not as worn out as usual since he's not getting the exercise he needs.

Good luck!!!

May I ask why you had to take the gate down?

I am going through this same situation with my youngest who just turned 2 today and it is getting a little easier. I have a gate up in front of his door so he cannot get out. I think it may be harder for me to get him to bed because he shares a room with his older brother.

I have found that ignoring the bad behavior (his getting out of bed) or putting him back in bed without talking to or looking at him works well. It just takes time!

S.
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