Help! Really Late Bedtime!!!

I don't know if this will help but my son would never go to bed before 10-11 so I started giving him a bath right before bedtime. Sometimes if he's a little hyper I leave the T.V. on before and after he goes to sleep because if there is background noise he thinks that my husband and I are still with him. Then afterabout 15-30 mins I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep with him. I let him lay there for a little while until he falls into a deep sleep and then put him in his bed. He doesn't wake up until around 9 a.m. this next day. That's what we have done since he was 3 months old and he is now a year and a half and it has worked since. Hope this helps. Good luck!
J. S.

Hi B.! I really wouldn't worry about it. When does he wake up in the morning? Does he get at least 9hrs of sleep? What's important is that he is getting enough sleep for him. Don't let books/mags hold you hostage to some generic time schedule. Use it as a guideline. My son is 14 months old. I know when he is tired and I put him down then. There's no fussing or fighting he goes down and stays down. Sometimes it's as early as 6 sometimes it's around 8. I see you stay at home so he is going to be on a different schedule than working mothers. What does you Dr. say? If he/she isn't concerned you shouldn't be. I hope this helps.

My dd is almost 19 months and most nights is in bed around 10. She goes to bed late so that when my dh is home she can play with him. We have nothing to do in the am so she is able to get all the sleep she needs. Unless this bedtime is bothering you or you aren't allowing your ds to sleep as long as he needs to I don't think there's a problem.

My son did the same thing around that age. He was about 9-10 months old and it lasted for about 3 months. I was working till 9:45 at night and I think he just wanted to see me when I came home and then around 10:30 or so he would fall asleep. He also wasn't in daycare so he could sleep late, until 10:30 or so which he did most days. For a while he wouldn't go to bed til midnight. When he woke up earlier he usually couldn't stay awake as long though he did try. I think it was just a phase with him and over time we got him up a little earlier and then he would go to bed a bit earlier. But I kind of liked it cause I actually got to see him a bit. And I think the biggest thing that made him go to bed earlier was that he was able to understand more as he got older that I would come home even if he was asleep. Also, our pediatrician said that like adults some children are day people and some are night and these traits show up early. Good luck.

I agree with another responder that naps might be doing it-- he could just need fewer naps than other kids, or a late or long nap might be keeping him up. Most kids younger than about 18 months take two, 1- to 2- hour naps every day, usually the first in the morning at around 10 and the second soon after lunch, at around 1. Perhaps try eliminating the afternoon nap and keep him up with activity? He might be cranky for a few days but that would be the quickest way.
Some other suggestions-
- make sure he gets at least 15 minutes to a 1/2 hour of sun exposure every day (even if it's sunlight through a window)-- this sets his biological clock.
- make sure there's no caffeine in his diet, b/c even a little bit can have a strong & long-lasting effect in kids. No chocolate, tea, soda, etc, if you're breastfeeding cut down on your own intake. Some vitamins are stimulating too, if he takes any baby vitamins give them to him in the a.m.
- make it part of your bed ritual to turn off any tv's on in the house for 1-2 hours before bed (the light & noise is stimulating) and make the house as dim and quiet and boring as possible after dark.
Good luck!

Hi B.,
First, don't worry so much about the bedtime as about the total hours of sleep your son gets in a 24-hour-long period. That being said, 10-11 pm sounds a bit late for a bedtime. First, I'd make sure baby isn't getting too much sleep during the day in naptime. The average baby this age needs 14 hours of sleep per day, but your baby's needs could vary as much as 2 hours in either direction. If he's sleeping about 11 hours per night (and waking up at 8 or 9am), plus getting about 3 hours sleep during the day in 2 good naps, he's getting all the sleep he needs, so you just need to adjust the time.
If he's not getting too much sleep in naps, I can recommend the following. It worked for my little ones when I had to change bedtimes in either direction. Start putting him to bed about 15 minutes earlier than normal, keep that time going for a few days - maybe 5 or 6 or longer if baby is waking and ready to go after a brief nap at this new bedtime. Then make bedtime another 15 minutes earlier, and repeat the process over and over until you have a bedtime you are happier with. If you are going for 2 or 3 hours earlier, you should expect the entire process to take 8-12 weeks.
If baby is sleeping more than 4 or 5 hours during the day, or taking more than 2 naps, its time to cut out a nap and shorten them, probably not letting a nap go longer than 2 hours and not taking more than 2 naps per day. (I know, I hate waking a sleeping baby too! But the reward is an earlier bedtime, something he will definately need as he gets older.)
Last advice, if you are rocking or feeding baby to sleep, or if baby isn't sleeping through the night, its going to be a lot harder to do this. A baby this age is old enough to learn to put himself to sleep and not receive night time feedings (unless your pediatrician advises otherwise). Time to teach self soothing and teach your baby to fall asleep on his own. You are doing baby a favor teaching him to sleep on his own. Its a skill we all need to learn.
I hope that helps. Good luck!

You'll need to gradually move his bed time back about 15 minutes every 3 nights or so. My daughter used to sleep 9pm-7am and now she is 8pm-8am at 16months old.

My daughter is 2, she never wants to go to bed before 10pm. That's how it used to be and still is. I would't be worry about it, because some kids are just like that. I'm sure your son gets his rest at the afternoon nap time and then has planty energy to play till late hours. Every child is different, and no book can recommend the same thing for each one of them.

Our 21-month old also had extremely late scheduling, also around 10-11 pm. She would then also usually rise late around 9:30 am, which made doing errands a little harder. Around 12 months old we tried starting a bedtime of around 8:30pm. However, because she was teething at the same time, our doctor advised to stop trying because she was thinking bedtime equaled pain. Finally, around 18 months we were able to start putting her to sleep between 8:30 and 9:30pm, depending on how tired she is. We also allow her to take a few of her favorite stuffed animals into the crib with her. This seems to calm her quite a bit. It is now to the point that she goes to get them to let you know she is tired. Notice that we still never won on creating an actual bedtime. There are still nights that we have to let her cry it out because she really doesn't want to go to bed. The biggest thing here is to make sure she realizes no matter what, mommy and daddy will not be taking her out of her crib. I guess some children need a slightly later bedtime. I think what's more important is that she gets her 8 hours of sleep.

Please note, my husband does not get home from work most nights until 7pm. Therefore, I think this has an impact on how late my daughter stays up. Quality time with daddy is important too.

My son is four years old... he goes to bed really late, has always been that way. As long as his Dad is up, he wants to stay up. He is now in pre-k, so I make him go to bed by 9:30pm. I dont bother him because he gets up by 7am each morning. Your son is much younger, I wouldnt worry about him staying up at all.

First, remember that is a book that takes a composite of babies and makes a recommendation. I personally feel that this generation is way to reliant on books! Follow your instincts. Your baby is an individual. If he is functioning on a bed time of 10pm and is waking in the morning happy and seems to be refreshed, don't sweat it. My daughter has always been a late nighter. She is now 7 and rarely goes to bed before 9 or 10. And she pops up ready to rock and roll by 8am. I would love it if she went to bed at 7pm every night but that would be pointless. When she was a baby, I would lay her down around 8 and I would check on her for the next hour or so and she would be wide awake, talking to herself, playing whatever.

Just remember, if he isn't suffering, he's fine. Don't let those books drive you crazy. You know your baby. Good luck!

B.,

I am not sure if I will be of much help, but I will try. for now. set a bed time of 10 pm, that is your limit. After your precious son gets used to 10pm for say a week, move it back by 15 minutes. When he has settled down at 9:45, for a week or two, move it back by 15 minutes again. It will take a some time, but will be less traumatic then abruptly moving it to say 8pm. I wish you well. Remember this please... YOU ARE THE BEST MOM FOR YOUR SON! Joyce

Are you putting him in his crib and he just stays awake or is it that he is up with you until 10:00? i think you need to put him in his crib about 9:00 let him fuss alittle, play some music even play a movie for him to settle down. i use to let my kids spend time during the day in their cribs and play while i was vacumming or washing dishes. i sort of used it as a play pen during the day when i needed too. i think it's so important early on to set the rules and implement them with our babies and young chidlren. it can be hard at first but it does not take long and you will thank your self to get a little time back to your self at night. i've always had my kids in bed by 9:00, earlier mostly and i give them time to unwind, they know they can't call me unless they are sick or need the bathroom and they understand that it's mommys time to settled down and use the phone or just watch my favorite shows. my girls are now 5 and 6. bedtime can be a struggle but get a handle on it early on and it will work itself out. Maybe about 8:00 or 8:30 turn the lights down and set the mood a little before bedtime and sleep might start setting in. it may not happen the first night but give it like a week and see if it starts getting better.I'm a stay at home mom for 6 years. every phase is a struggle but stay strong and firm and it will work. it's way to easy to give in and let them set the rules but in the long run lets face it, it only makes for trouble. Good luck!!

There are several things you can do. My first suggestion is to give him a normal time to wake up and nap. Most children wake up at about 7am at that age. He should have either one or two naps during the day and the should be short about 1 or 2 hours at most. My suggestion is to wake him up each morning for a short while. Wake him at about 7am and make him stay up until nap time. Than make sure his nap or naps arn't too long. For a short time about 2 days you could even cut out his naps all together to make him tired. After a few days he should get it together. I've watched kids most of my life and this is the easiest way to change a childs sleep habits. You can't expect a child to just sleep at 7am right out of no where and when they arn't tired. Sometimes one day of not enought sleep won't do it you have to do it day after day to make them wear down.
There are a number of reasons a child should go to bed earlier than 10am.
1. the parents have time together each evening.
2. the child will wake earlier and it makes for a better transition when school time comes.
3. If they go to bed earlier there are indications it's time to start prepairing for bedtime that even a child as young at 1yr can understand. (getting dark)
4. If a child goes to bed right when it gets dark they will get all the sleep they need before it gets light out and they tend to get up when the sun comes up.
5. As they get older the sun coming up is an easy way to tell them when it's time to get ready to go to bed and it's time to get up.
Also when he wakes up at night for diaper changes or for anyother reason solve the prob. with out turning on lights, talk quitly and act as if it's late at night and you don't want to wake someone. When people turn on lights and act as if it's day time you are telling your child, it's ok to be awake and they get the message loud and clear.
Set up a arrangement you do each night. My daughter is we eat dinner no later than 5:30pm. Bath is no later than 6:30 and when she gets out we dress and brush teeth go into her room at sit on the bed and Read 2 books. When she was that young i also set her in my lap and sang two song (rock a by baby) and than i layed her down and said good night, kissed and hugged and lights out) I do it just like that EVERY night so they know what is coming next and can prepair themselves.

Good luck

Dear B.,
I had 7 babies and I actually preferred them to go to bed no earlier than 9 p.m. This way my husband and I could go to the malls, or out to dinner with the children, or visiting friends, or evening church services and not have to worry about the children needing to be home so early for bedtime. I did the 7-8 p.m. bedtime with my first and found it interrupted my schedule so much that I changed hers to fit mine. They then slept til 8 or 9 a.m. and took a nap for 1 1/2 to 2 hours in the afternoon. None of mine needed much sleep and still don't. I have one at 19 and one at 14 who only need 4-5 hours most nights now, but catch up on weekends with a whopping 7 hours each. As long as he's not bothering you by staying up, let him set his schedule. You might find it works better for all of you. It's the amount of hours he gets, not when he gets them that matters. BTW, I've also worked for 21 years as a pediatric nurse. Divorced, remarried, have four more step-children, and 10 grandchildren. I homeschooled for 8 years, and have worked as a birth doula.

I have the perfect advice: PUT DOWN THE BOOKS! No two babies are alike, and a book isn't going to change it, my son never went to bed before 9:30 (he still doesn't), no matter what we tried, dark rooms, massages, warm milk, nothing, he went to bed between 10-11 like your son, he slept through the night, and woke up bright eyed and bushy tail. Sometimes we just get those type of babies that has to have it their way! LOL! I even asked other moms and some of them have the same problem with the bedtime. If you're son is getting a good nights rest, and isn't cranky or groggy from waking up to early or not getting enough sleep, you're fine. Just be thankful he's at least going to sleep, some moms are having that problem. Look at the bright side, you get more time to spend with your baby, you're a SAHM so you don't have to worry about waking up bright and early, enjoy all you can, I wish I could!

I would suggest keeping him awake during the days. Only a little naps. Also I give my kids a bath first and then they eat, after that it's lights out!!!!

My 3 year old still does that occasionally. Since she's in school, it makes it a little easier, but the concept is getting the up early in the morning and cutting out naps. My son still wakes up at night because he's wet, but he goes right back to sleep with a little cuddling. Does your son cry when he wakes up or does he just play? If he just wants to play, let him have a book or something to go to bed with and he'll "read" himself to sleep. How long are his naps and when are they? At 8 months, he should be taking 2 naps that are about 2 hours long, but some kids don't need that much sleep, so you might want to cut them down a bit. Also, how much play time with other kids does he get during the day and playtime with you? Sometimes, my daughter is so hyper that I need to stop what I'm doing regardless of what it is, and just play with her. She doesn't want a movie or anything, she wants my attention. After about 20 minutes, she relaxes and everything is fine. Hope this helps.

B.,
I am no expert on sleep for infants but my daughter was the same way. She is now 2.5 y/o and we finally got bed time to work between 8:30-9pm. (Still trying to push it to 7:30pm-8pm gradually). As an infant she would not go to bed until 10:30, sometimes 1130pm! The only good thing was that she didn't wake up until 10am the next morning. What I began doing was waking her up in the morning a 1/2 hr earlier and putting her down for her naps 1/2 earlier and shorten nap time to 1 1/2 hrs. I made sure that she did not sleep past 3pm in the afternoon and really played hard to tire her out for the evening. Gradually (every week) we would begin her bathing ritual a 1/2 hour earlier and get her to bed 1/2 hr earlier.
It is still a work in progress for us. She would occasionally still wake up but we would never turn on the lights in her room, or pick her up, just put her back to bed by singing a song or patting her back.
I think the key is to not deprive them of the needed 14-15 hrs of sleep they need a day, just adjust it accordingly to get to a earlier bedtime. Hopefully the gradually adjustment will work for you. We have new baby on the way due January and I would like to get my daughter to a 7:30-8pm bedtime! Wish you luck!

I have a ten week old and he is in the same pattern as your son. I thought it was to early for him to start that. I hope he will grow out of it. The only suggestion I have is give him a bath A half hour before you want to go to bed and after that don't over stimulate him with music or mobiles stuff like that. Try a simple song or short story in a dim lit place. I hope some of these ideas help and good luck.