Help! Returned to Work and Having a Really Hard Time Balancing Everything

Hi J., being a mom and a wife is a full time job in it's self, your children are small for a brief time in life, and if you look away to you miss it. thats why i start a home daycare when my 3 were in elementry school, they are all grown now, and i still have my business, I choose my hours, i choose my policy, my responsibilities to my home and family are fulfiled, I have the pleasure of making adifference in the lives of small children, no commute so save money on gas, and wear and tear on my car. it can't hurt to think about it. J. l.

Gack. Where were you last year before my husband got a job that comes with a staff lawyer & accountant??? We've spent the past year climbing out of the mess of being in school for the past 6 years.

I'll tell you what: The SHEER number of my friends (mostly with young children, but many without...all over this country) who need a personal accountant (to help with budgeting, sound financial planning, LT planning, saving, taxes, bill prioritizing, the legalities of x,y,z...start up home businesses, music businesses, art businesses)....but either a) can't afford the typical $100-$300 dollar an hour fee or b) don't know where to look...is staggering.

Do you know where I know all of these people from? Schools. Pick a name University. We're broke. We're raising families. We're just starting our careers. (Lovely climate for that, what?) In some cases we're paying 3 tuitions or more (mum, dad, and preschool), juggling credit cards, quarterly financial aid checks, and multiple jobs. Our finances are the definition of "learning curve".

If you had cut rates or sliding scale, and marketed yourself to students (especially grad students in nearly any non-business/law degree...or...any community college where we're saving on OUR educations in order to pay for our children's education/daycare... to art students who are putting themselves through school by selling their work on the side, essentially starting their own business), and especially if you could time your bills with financial aid checks...you could set your own hours, & work from your (or their) kitchen tables.

I have a friend up in Seattle who does something similar ...in the beginning he (stay at home dad), just booked people when he could...now he has his "office hours" of Thursday evenings 5-9, Friday days 12-6, and Saturday days from 12-6. He has flat rates for certain services, hourly rates for others, and bills quarterly. For some of his clients he actually handles all of their income & bills (I'm not real clear on what that takes...you would probably know better that I, limited power of attorney i THINK). But those clients he just handles the majority of the time online. Money making time (when he gets his wife to use up a weeks vacation so he can work 24/7 is the week before taxes, because all of his regular clients are sending their friends to him)...but he makes a decent living these days working what? 16 hours a week + time when the babies are napping or asleep. When he first started I helped him flyer at all the local colleges (student unions, daycare facilities, dorms, etc.) back when I was single & childless. Seattle, come to find, in addition to the UW has about a gazillion community colleges and 3 private universities. San Diego/LA make that look like nothing.

Anyhow. Just a thought.

It definitely sounds like a wrong fit and that the comapany wasn't up front with you. There is no way to balance a full time job and family, and the kids are the ones who suffer. You tried it, it didn't work. Get out of there quick as it will only get worse.

The personal accountant is a great idea if you really want to work a little. Then you can set your own terms. Search out family owned business' as they are smaller, less work involved, and usually more flexible.

Another way to contribute to the household income is by saving money. Being home you'll have time to scope the ads for deals, clip coupons, go on free outings, prepare home-cooked meals and cutting out the stuff you don't need. All of these things contribute to the budget, just in a different way.

There are other jobs that understands a parent priorites. You'll just have to look around a bit. I work in daycare which is usually a 40 hour job. I am lucky enough to have a boss who allows me to stay home whenver my kids are out of school.

Hein Sight is always 20/20 but I probably would've asked what exactly does "occasional" OT consist of... 3 out of 5 days is a bit excessive to be calling it occasional. I would hope they would understand your situation and be flexible enough to work around your schedule, but it sounds like maybe this isn't the right fit for you. I understand your concern about starting your own business, however have you considered looking into a home-business, maybe not necessarily one that dealt with accounting, but one that could be flexible enough to work around your current situation and that could easily move with you when you relocate as well as potentially allow you the freedom to leave the workplace and generate enough income that you could stay at home full-time? If you're interested, I would be happy to share the details. You are welcome to visit my website if you'd like http://www.HelpUstayHome.com

Hi J.,

Finding balance between work and family can be difficult. I think with the economy the way it is, it seems that many employers are using this as a scare tactic to get employees to work more hours. People do it because they feel losing their jobs. One solution that works for many people is hiring an au pair. With an au pair, you set the work hours. If your child is sick, the au pair can still take care of them in the comfort of your home. An au pair becomes sort of part of the family. People are matched with au pairs based on common interests, personalities and child care needs. The cost of an au pair is the same if you have one child or five children. Families who choose this option for child care say that an au pair gives them peace of mind. If you would like to learn more visit www.ccaupairservices.com or call K. ###-###-####. Good Luck to you!