K.
How about 2 spoons? One for her and one for you. That way she feels like she's participating, but you can still put food in her mouth. Never mind about the mess - just get used to it because it isn't going away any time soon :) The other thing is that she is probably ready for some soft finger food - bananas, cooked cubes of sweet potato etc - and that is less messy and she can pick it up herself.