HELP, Son Obsessed with Death and Pain

Updated on September 14, 2009
S.R. asks from Fort Worth, TX
12 answers

kinda long....
ok so many of you probably know by now that I have a lot of problems with my son who is 5. well over the past several months he has been getting very physical with himself when he gets mad. he hits his face with his fists, punches walls, bangs his head seriously hard on the wall...he is also obsessed with death and pain. he talks about death a lot, plays with his toys as if he is playing with dead people and most rescently I found him choking my yorkie. it was devistating walking in and seeing him holding my dog up off the ground by his collar and choking him while laughing!!!! I couldnt do anything but panic. he knew what he was doing because as soon as i walked in he dropped the dog and took off running!! OMG what do i do??? He is seeing a psychologist and we are working on finding out if there are any health issues, ie. allergies and anything else that could be causing this. he went to the doctor today and we found out that he has a heart murmer, but a lot of children have it and they typically grow out of it, so we are taking heed to this and going to keep an eye on it.
I have talked to a couple of spiritual ppl and they recommend that we have the house and my son annointed...has anyone ever done this? if so did it make a difference. i've never done it and dont really know anything about it (going to do my homework though).
does anyone have any advice for us...we are so scared and bothered by his actions. please help ease our minds!!
thanks so much in advance!

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So What Happened?

Hi everyone i wanted to thank you all for your input, it has been greatly appreciated!!! Also i wanted to update you on things here with my son.
as you know he has been in therapy, and they have put him on adderall 5mg for now. so far so good as far as that goes. i've noticed a small change, but the more he takes it i'm sure the more i'll see. I hate hate hate that he is having to be put on meds just to calm him, but along with the other things that we are doing, i'm sure this will all help him and all of us. I will keep you posted on how it all goes.

thanks again and God Bless!!
S.

More Answers

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

S.,

First of all let me share something with you that I do not believe is for public forum.Demons do exist and I have seen people possesed and the demon come out. Do I believe your child is possesed no.You have to think the changes that he may be going through, are there any changings in your personal life that may effect him? What does he watch on tv, and who does he play with. Has anyone in his playgroups suffered a loss? You mentioned you are engaged are you getting married to his father or someone else all of these things come in to play. When he acts out what are your reactions? I am praying for you and your son.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Pray Scripture over him and through your house, "Johnny" is the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, he belongs to Christ Jesus, "Johnny" has cruicified the flesh with its passions and desires, he lives by the Spirit and walks by the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25

Let him listen to the bible on CD while he sleeps, For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

I too believe in annointing oil and that demons do indeed still exist. The Bible tells me so.

And they were casting out many demons and were anointing with oil many sick people and healing them. Mark 6:13

Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: James 5:14

Make sure your therapist is a Christian.

Hugs & Prayers!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

Do you have a great, age-appropriate Bible stories book? Please start reading him these great stories, he can start to learn who God is and that God is a personal God. Also, have you sat him down and just asked him why he talks about death? Sometimes, when kids can talk things through with their parents, they get over it. Maybe he just has questions. Maybe he wants to be reassured that there is life after death. Who knows what his questions are but by answering them or discussing them, he won't be so obsessed.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from Abilene on

I would call his therapist 1st thing tomorrow and see about stepping up the treatment (several times a week, meds, etc). I know if he was older they could do inpatient treatments, but I don't have a clue as to one as young as he is.

As far as the anointing, that's bogus. I'm a very devout Christian, but there are no such things as demons that possess people anymore. The Bible says so.

Are you coordinating with his Pedi and the therapist?

Wow! I wish I could give you some sage advice! I do hope the best for you all.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

I loved Lorie M’s response. I whole-heartedly agree that teaching your son about death and the hope of eternal life is vitally important. If you don’t have a personal relationship with God, and wonder what that means, I’d be happy to tell you about the difference Jesus has made in my life. Feel free to send me a message and we can chat privately.

While I would not anoint my son or home, I would pray. God still works miracles – many of us are just too world-weary to notice. Sometimes people say, “All we can do is pray,” but we must remember the most powerful thing we can do is pray! Call on God, the authority over all. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

God is the solution. He may lead you to excellent medical professionals, and I pray that He does, but remember that He provided those doctors with their talents. “Your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:5
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6

When I pray, I often personalize scripture. Here is a passage I hope you find encouraging. “I praise You, LORD, the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. You will not grow tired or weary. You give me strength when I am weary and increase my power when I am weak. Because my hope is in You, LORD, You will renew my strength. I will soar on wings like eagles; I will run and not grow weary, I will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

I understand your fear and encourage you to trust in the Lord. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

I also offer these encouraging words from God, our Father.
“When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” Isaiah 43:2
“I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” In Psalm 32:8
“I will provide their needs before they ask. I will help them while they are still asking for help.” Isaiah 65:24

I pray that you will find support at a Bible-believing church where other Christians can stand with you as you walk this difficult road.

Know that I am lifting your family up to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, praying that you will dwell in the shelter of God, the Most High, so you will rest in the shadow of Him, the Almighty. So you may say of Him, O LORD, “You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91: 1-2

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I am sorry and I do not have any words of wisdom. I've not been in that situation and I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

My personal opinion as far as annointing the house and your son differs from previous responses because I feel no one truly knows if it is bogus.......everyone has theories. SO what....if it helps your family and right for you...do it. I certainly would. What will it hurt?

I'm Christian, not a regular church goer, but that does not make me any less Christian than those who spend tons of time at the church and quoting scriptures. People interpret the Bible and scriptures in many ways and what one person swears is one way, the other will swear it does not. I do happen to believe in spirits (good and bad).

Best wishes to you and your family and don't let the judging you recieve keep you from looking at all alternatives that might help your son.

TF

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

The annointing bussiness is hocus pocus. I am very religious, but that is a joke. The problem is not your house. I strongly believe that you need to keep seeing the the pediatrician, but the problem is much more severe than an allergy, so if that is the direction the doctor is taking, I think you need to find a different doctor. I see that your son may have a heart murmur and although that is a problem, that is not causing the behavior. You son more likely has a neurological disorder, hormonal imbalance, or psychological disorder. These things can usually be treated very well with the right combination of therapies. I see that you say your son is seing a psychologist, but sweetie, that is not enough. A psychologist can be helpful and that is probably what he needs to be seeing for frequent treatment, but your child needs a Psychiatrist. A Psychiatrist can truly diagnose your son, prescribe any necessary medications, direct the pediatrician and oversee the weekly work of the Psychologist. They do a great job at coordinating the Psychologist and the pediatrician. I also reccommend that you find a Social Worker, either in Private Practice or possibly a community organization near you that car refer you to some good resources. Go to the church for your emotional support, but don't go there to find a solution. Leav the treatment and curing to the PhDs, and go to the preists and the church for prayer and soul support.

C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I'll be praying for you and your family.
Best Regards,
C.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

S. --

I'm not sure if you're having problems with email as I am on this site, but I sent you a private message and hope it helps some. My best advice is to find someone you trust because everyone on this forum is in a different place with different beliefs. You're going to have all kinds of suggestions that don't coincide with one another. My PM was long, but I do hope you find time to read it. YOu're in our prayers.

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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

Everything that lives dies; I know this too much, as my daughter was killed by my neighbor's Rottweiller in Jan. My 5 year old son, now 6, had a very tough time as you can imagine. The most important thing is to talk about death openly and honestly without shaming him for his thoughts and feelings.

Also, I would really be FOR SURE that you yourself are SURE about what you believe about death. If you are confused, he will be for sure, and this in itself may make him more interested in it.

I have lots of rescources on death and children since my daughter's death, as well as some children's books that are very compassionate (something that sounds like your son is needing to experience more of for himself). He may have seen a violent scene on TV that started this, and since boys are attracted to power, he may see this as a form of just having a super-power.

Just don't shame him for his fixation because, in actuality, it is a very interesting subject even for adults. I tell my son, "Everything that lives will die in this world. We didn't want Brooklynn to die when she was 3, but she did."

Seriously consider what you tell your son and make sure there are no mixed messages. (ie, grandma is dead but still watches over you at night, etc)

Here are some rescources if you are interested:

Bible lessons on all topics for kids....GREAT!!!

http://www.childrensministryplace.com/childrensbiblestudy...

Specifically on the topic of death:

http://www.amazingfacts.org/Radio/BibleAnswersLiveQuestio...

http://www.truthaboutdeath.com/

http://www.bibleinfo.com/en/topics/death

Blessings to you and your little man. Feel free to contact me for any questions you may have.
Liz Milburn ###-###-####

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

All the things you are doing sound like you are on the right track, keeping him in councelilng is most important, and if you don't see an improvement, maybe change councelors. I'm assuming he never get to watch any tv or movies that even hint of violence. This can really effect a child, and scare them and have nightmares. This has to be so tramatic and scary.. I'll pray for you too.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Prayer is fine, but the medical route has to be pursued. It's good that you're seeing a psychologist, and a doctor. Are they doing CAT scans, neurological testing, etc? Just wondering since you said this has just started over the last few months. That seems sudden, unless there were things going on before that you didn't notice because they were more subtle than the most recent behavior. I'm in no way medically trained, but it just seems like there's something going on with brain or body chemistry and that all avenues in that area should be checked.

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