While on a hiking trip my 10-year old stepdaughter found a toad. She kept it in her bug jar over night. I was highly discouraging keeping the toad (saying he'd be happier back in his toad home, etc.) but my husband told me to "lay off." It's his kid, so I did.
Well, it's a day later and this toad is now in my home, living in a bug jar. I want NOTHING to do with this toad, however, like MOST things in this house, this toad will become my responsibility if I want to see it live. I don't like animal cruelty, and I hate to see this toad living in this tiny bug jar with NO FOOD. I've told my husband this toad is HIS responsibility and his daughter's.
So far my husband has done absolutely NOTHING about it. We don't know what kind it is, if it's poisonous or not (some toads are poisonous) or what it eats. My stepdaughter has fed it ONE fly in the past 2 days.
Tomorrow she leaves for her mother's house and won't be back for a day. Meanwhile, the toad is still in a bug jar. My husband will be at work all day tomorrow.
What do I do? Do I leave the toad to rot in her room for another day and night? Do I release him into the wild myself? Despite the fact I am disgusted by this toad and the live insects he needs to eat, I hate to see any living creature suffer.
HELP!
This morning while my husband was at work I talked to my stepdaughter about how it was cruel to keep an animal in a small jar with no food. I asked her if she would like it if someone captured her and put her in a small cage for 3 days with just a few crackers to eat. She decided herself to release it back into the wild. We took it to a pond where Toady hopped happily into the water, where a giant frog started to attack it! I quickly mentioned how Toady was making new "frog friends" and then I quickly steered her back toward the car!! I would have freaked out if we released it back into the wild, only to be eaten in front of us by a bigger frog! We did see Toady swim away so I'm just going to stick with the story that he's making new "frog friends" and leave it at that!
Thanks for all the advice and support!
Hi C.-
Have her take it WITH her to her mom's....kind of a 'show and tell'...
I'd wager it will be released to the wild 'right quick'!
Best Luck!
michele/cat
Release the toad and put the jar back.
See how long it takes for her to notice that he's gone.
LBC
"You two have a choice: In the next 24 hours you need to research how to take care of a toad, this species in particular, and PROVIDE it a humane space and food... or you or I am going to release it. I'm sure neither of you want it to suffer, but it's starving to death right now, and keeping it in the jar is like if we locked you in the closet for the rest of your life. I'm also not going to feed either of you until it eats and has a home."
Let it go as soon as you can, or it will die. It's very inhumane to keep a wild animal in a jar in your house. You need to explain that to your daughter and husband and just take charge here and let the poor thing go. It's not their call to make, because they aren't making a good decision for the toad.
Let it go. You told them you weren't going to be responsible for it, they aren't doing anything to take care of. So tonight I would say,
"Look, you aren't taking care of this toad, it's suffering and is eventually going to die. Two choices get in there and take care of it, it needs food, water, and a bigger tank. If it doesn't have by tomorrow night I am going to let it go. If you don't continue to take care of it by feeding, watering it and making sure the tank is clean. I am going to let it go. Do you get a pattern here?"
The End
I like some of the more clever answers on here, but basically, I would put my foot down and tell them the toad is going back into the outdoors so he can live the way a toad is supposed to live with his other toad friends. Tell hubby you are not going to be responsible for it if they choose to bring something into the house and try to keep it as a pet - if they want to make the effort to go to the pet store and educate themselves about how to keep a toad, then it's on them. Either that, or she can take the toad back to her mother's. My daughter was 3 when she started wanting to keep toads, turtles, etc. as pets that she found outside as and I told her from day 1 that it's okay to look at them for a while, but then they need to be let go. A real teaching moment. Ask your stepdaughter how she would like it if someone stuck her in a little jar with nothing to eat and expected her to be happy.
EDITED TO ADD: Glad to hear Mr. Toad was released - funny about what happened though! :)
let it go. if it makes you feel better and avoids a lot of unnecessary drama, tell them it died. i am with you on this.
Just get rid of it, put it out, and say he was hungry and you thought you could re-catch it but it got away. Yes that's a lie but hey, it sounds better than I got rid of it because I knew y'all wouldn't take care of it. That's what I would do.
I would take it back to the wild.
Toads are generally poisonous.
It needs to eat live food. Daily.
It should be misted with water.
A dried up Toad, is not pretty.
It needs to be in something LARGER than a jar.
How... cruel and inhumane to leave it in a jar with only 1 fly so far.
Her DAD... should be caring for it.
Or she takes it to her Mom's house.
Tell her to.
A rotted Toad... in her room... is smelly, awful and cruel. (for the Toad, I mean).
Live insects for feeding, can be gotten at a pet store.
And yes, the Toad should not suffer just because of a Teen's capricious whims.
The Teen daughter, also took the Toad, out of its natural habitat... wherever it is she went hiking.
So, that is really not wise.
For the Toad.
I think it would be fun to keep but I totally get all the work involved and you don't want to so you really shouldn't have to! Let it go!! and soon! :)
I'm sure you have explained to your stepdaughter that by keeping the toad in a little jar like that with not enough food it is SUFFERING and if she loves it she shouldn't make it suffer. Could you use the "it misses its mom and dad" angle? Or maybe she's a mom and her babies miss her?? Ask her how she would feedl if suddenly she was living in a little box..no house, room, meals, etc. You probably said all that stuff.
I really think you need to release it today. It really is cruel to keep it in that jar. As hard as it is to do that to your daughter, you are teaching her a great lesson about life.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol- my friend in 7th grade gave me a toad (he was a guy) I named him Kermit bought a tank and lid at the store along with some dirt, a water dish, crickets and set him up a nice home. I got him 10 crickets a week. He lived till I was in the 10th grade. I never mistreated him just figured he got old. His tank will need cleaning though about every 2 weeks and the do pee If you pick them up ( or atleast mine did). Good luck
Personally, I would take it back to where it came from.. It is not fair to Mr. Toad to have been taken from his home.. IF you decide to keep it, take it to an exotic pet shop and see if they can identify it and what all you will need to keep it alive.. I am assuming an aquarium with fresh water and bugs.. and maybe some sort of light for warm this winter..
We had a neighbor who always allowed her kids to keep these types of animals and when they went out of town, who do you think they called? Yes.. Us..
Yucky, the odors.. the frozen blood worms, crickets, changing the water, cleaning out the cages and tanks. Thank goodness, they now have a new neighbor next door that likes that sort of thing.. My daughter and I dreaded it.
Well right now the toad is not happy.
WTH!!! I have been kicked off of mamapedia twice this mornign in the middle of answering. This one actually posted half an answer.
Back to the toad.
Why not let her keep it?
Go tonight to the pet store and get her an aquarium and have her ask what toads need to eat.
Get a little bowl for water and some rocks.
Get her some antibacterial hand wash, GermX or Purell.
Put some dirt in the tank ,
We have had tadpoles a few times in the house, found them in the pool. We have had a Praying Mantis for 5 months until he died, found him at the gas station. We have had a firebelly toad, actually bought him. About 8 years ago we had Hermit Crabs.
The kids love their exotics and it gives them something that is there's.
Isn't the toad supposed to go with her to her mother's? I think it says something like that in those court documents. If it doesn't I have heard that toads get lost very easily...
lol I thought there was a toad loose in your house.
I wouldn't do anything. I know it sounds inhumane but if you let it go or feed it, you are opening all kinds of doors to be taken advantage of as your SD gets older. What if she brings home a snake or worse, a boyfriend?
Sounds like both of them need a lesson in responsibility. I know it might be tempting to do something for that toad. Do what you must, esp if you want to feel in control of yoru household, but I really don't think you are doing any favors for anyone, reptiles not included.
Personally I would release the toad back in the wild while they are gone and say it was looking rather ill. However, I really like Manda's post. But a toad...really?
Let him go. Worst case scenario - tell them he died and you tossed him.
I would say - Don't forget to pack Tommy Toad to take with you back to your Mom's house. Awww, he will miss you if you leave him and I bet your mom would like to meet him.
In the scheme of things, toads aren't really that gross.
It's likely not poisonous. I do feel sorry for it living in a jar though.
A 10 year old is old enough to understand that isn't a happy habitat.
I would tell your husband that you are fine with the toad, (lie a little) but that he should go buy a terrarium big enough for it to live and hop in. One that has open mesh at the top.
Google some. Along with the costs.
Also get some estimates from a local pet store as to how much crickets, etc will cost to feed the toad.
If it's going to be a pet, you need to teach your child how to be a responsible pet owner. Right?
I'm just saying to change your tactics from being opposed to the toad.
It might work when he sees that letting it go will be a much smaller hassle.
He has to know the toad can't survive for long in the current conditions.
If he's just being stubborn, you might need to pretend to embrace the toad.
100%.
Just an idea.
Why can't the toad live in your yard?
We used to have a pond and lots of toads and frogs. We loved them. We gave them bread.
They lived outside.
Best wishes.
lol! Ysterday my son caught a toad in his bug house. He was trying to show it to me and I closed the car door and locked it so it wouldn't get in my car. Then he let it go. We always tell him that they cannot live in a small place. That they need to be free and he understands. He just keeps them in the bug hous efor a little while until we leave the cabin. He tells them bye and he hopes they ar ebigger the next time he sees them.
If they're not taking care of it, then the welfare of the toad takes priority. Release it.
