Help Trying to Potty Train My 3 Year Old

Try the Once upon a Potty (for him) video. We watched it over and over and eventually the cute and catchy jingle sinks in.

Hi J.,

To keep you son in his room overnight...try a safety gate. There's one out there that has flat panels...no grips for little toes and fingers! It works great to keep my 3.5 year old twins in their room at night. (I have an over night wanderer too).
Good luck on the potty training...I still cant' get one of mine to do it either :(
T. A

i recently went to a potty training lecture for help with my son will be 3 end of march. he will tell me as soon as he goes and wants to be changed so he is aware. he is just not interested in the potty.

there were lot of different ideas.

since you have a 6 month old, as you change her talk to her example "i can't wait for you to use the potty. mommy really doesn't like changing diapers, etc." hopefully your son will be in listening distance and get the idea. now you are only talking to your little girl about this.

as you change him, all business --- no laughing, tickling, etc.

decorate the potty - making it theirs - we bought stickers. it's not working yet. he does like playing with the stickers and putting them on and off the seat, but has no interest in sitting on the floor model or the insert. her suggestion was to start reading books on the potty seat again.

have him naked in an area that is easy to clean and have the potty in the same area.

give water/juice to get success give m&m or a prize/reward

another big thing...they have be ready developmentally.
- two words together
- things have a place - putting them where they belong
- like orderliness in his life
- your child's achievement not because of preschool, neighbors, grandparents, etc.

listen, but guide properly
- follow 2 step command
- awareness that they have done it
- tranquil period
- imitation

based on what i told the instructor, she thought that my son might need a big reward.

my thought was for the last couple of summers we belonged to a water park so i am going to use that as an incentive to get it done as he loves the water park. we go often in the summer.

Hi J...

I was very lucky getting my now 5 year old potty trained, he was 2 1/2 at the time. The pool had just opened and because of not completely drying between swimmies and diapers he developed a rash. He cried when his diaper was on so I told him I would keep his diaper off but he had to tell me when he needed to go potty. Literally the day before I asked him if he wanted to try using the potty and he told me no. He walked around with no diaper for 2 days and on the 3rd day he was in "big boys". NO pull-ups, they were only used at night and within 3 or 4 weeks he was out of them too. I'm just praying that my almost 2 year old is easy to train as his brother!

Good luck!

K.
I am a stay at home Mom of 2 boys, 5 and almost 2, happily married for 9 1/2 years.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I have two
boys, one who is 3 1/2 and the other, 7 months. I think
it mostly boils down to my older one not wanting to
lose mama ground. In other words, he sees it as one
more thing that he is losing of the time we share. Even
though honestly I spend way more time with him now since
we have been working on potty training. Everyone I know
says to just drop it and try again in a month or two if
he is really getting that upset. To try to let it be
his idea. On the other hand, I know what you mean about
wanting to get them into a pre-school since you have the
younger one too. One thing that helped to start him initially was to watch Once Upon the Potty for him. Whenever he starts
being negative about using the potty, I try to see how much
quality time I am spending with him that does not involve the
potty or his brother. Definitely difficult for him to share
me with his new brother. I don't know if any of this will help you in your situation, but good luck and just know that
he will get there eventually, even if you have to replace the
carpets by the time it happens. :)

My daughter also had a hard time with the potty training. I tried everything possible and finnaly I got sick of it. I tried every book and video and reward system out there...she was just too stubborn and didnt want to do it. So on her third birthday I took away the pull ups and put her in underware then I put maxi pads into her underware to catch her "accidents" She hatted the feel of them because they were way too big for her little body. I told her she would have to wear them until she started using the potty. She tested me for a few days but finnaly realized that I wasnt going to give in and let her go without them so she started using the potty. It took about a week but we were done with it after that and the maxi pads were a cheap fix also. I have told a few friends about it since and it worked for all of them also.
As for the wondering down at night if you really dont want to put the lock on the door the babygate may be your best option. Good luck.

J., this is to second the idea below of using a gate or gates for your little wanderer. I swore by them, especially at both the tops and bottoms of stairs (at the top, so they don't fall down them; but also essential at the bottom so they don't get partway up the stairs and tumble back down). There are so many types of gates now including ones that are "configurable" to any space. I believe that the catalogue and online shop One Step Ahead has lots of different gates that he won't be able to climb. Good luck with corraling your guy!

The best advice is that he'll potty train when he's ready. My oldest son was like your son. We bought the potty when he was one, started training him when he was 2, and he was almost 4 by the time he was actually potty trained. The entire experience was exhausting! We tried every single technique out there! I think your son is intelligent and likes to be independant and in control- he proves it by playing on his own in the middle of the night! Perhaps he doesn't feel in control of the potty training? Back off and tell him he gets to choose when he'll be a big boy. Give him little reminders- like buy a package of underwear with characters he likes but put them on a shelf while he's watching and nicely say "for when you decide to be a big boy". And remember you are not alone! Boys are so much harder to potty train than girls! My daughter potty trained in 3 days. And btw, my son didn't get to start preschool until he was 4.

I have 2 boys 7 and 4. My oldest had no interest in the potty until he was around 3 1/2.I told him he couldn't go to school, which he REALLY wanted to do, until he used the potty ALL the time. 2 days and he was in underwear with no accidents. My second was 3. He wanted a toy he had seen at a friends house. I told him he could not have it until he was going in the potty all the time for a least a month with no accidents (that's what "big boys" do). We marked the calendar for each day he stayed dry (the picture of the toy attached for reminder)the calendar was restarted after any "accidents". He took about 2 months to be totally day trained. Remember, going poop is one of the only things they really have control over so they will use it. There are a few books "Everyone Poops" and "It hurts to Poop" check them out and see if they help.
For the sneeking out of his room. Do you have baby gates at the top of your stairs? The retractable ones are great. Put a few "quiet" toys in his bedroom with strict instructions he is to stay in his room. He is old enough to understand that rule. Make sure there is a consequence if he does not follow the rule (no TV or Zoo or something he is looking forward to the next day). If that's not possible keep the child-lock...safety first!
Three is a very trying age. Have patience and remember "this too shall pass". Good luck!

Hi J., I have a few suggestions... Try to find a boy who is maybe just a year or two older than your son that he would look up to (preferrably a friend of his) who is potty trained. Use the bigger boy as an example. My son wanted to stand to go potty like his best friend did. He just decided to do it, and did it. He was practically potty trained in a day. Pooping took a lot longer.
Get him some underwear with characters he particularly likes (Spiderman was ours). He can't wear those big boy underwear until he has no accidents for set amount of time. We had to use the underwear concept for pooping.
Find some sort of reward that will work for him. A friend of mine took her son to Cold Stone Creamery and let him mix up his own ice cream. She got about a pint made up of it. Every time he pooped on the toilet no matter when it was (first thing in the morning, right before dinner or bedtime) he got a little spoonful of his special ice cream. He was only allowed to have it when he went poopy on the toilet and no one else was allowed to have any of it.
Keep in mind pooping does take longer than the peeing. You might need to give him a little time before he's ready to try potty training. My mom always tells me don't force them. It is totally a control thing. Good luck!

I went through this with my daughter, until my daycare director told me that at this age it is a control battle and I shouldn't give her a choice. We dumped the pullups except for naps and nightime, sent her to school in underwear (she quickly learned to hold it all morning and the first thing she would do when she came through our door was to wet her pants), as soon as she got home I insisted that she use the potty or she couldn't leave the kitchen (we had carpeting other areas of the house). After 5 minutes she was bored and went. I found pieces of tastycakes were rewards she was willing to go for (we went through every other reward system possible). There was also a video we would at Babies R Us about a bear named Glen going to the potty which seemed to work. I had been trying to train her for well over a year, and finally when she was about 3 months past her 3rd birthday and I got tough about it, it took about 3 days. As for the night waking, do you have a gate you can put in his door way or in front of the stairs? Good Luck to you!

J.,

I bought my son this book and potty seat:
* 1 of: A Potty for Me!: A Lift-the-Flap Instruction Manual
Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
* 1 of: BABYBJÖRN Potty Chair - Green
Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
When they arrived, I let him open the box. We read the book about 100 times, he loved it, then when I would go potty he was say, I'm so proud of you, which is what they say in the book. Then he just started sitting on the potty, which I kept in the living space, so he could just go up to it. Once he showed a little interest we kept him naked all weekend, and we gave him a LOT of praise and a starburst when he used the potty and said maybe next time when he didn't. Now he goes all the time and will cry if he wets before he wakes up in the morning. Worth a try. Good luck...the book is great!!

First of all, you're not alone in this one!!! I have issues with my 3.5 year old using the potty if that makes you feel better. She finally will use the potty to go pee pee but not poop. I think you just have to tap into your child's interests and have a dialog with them about how they are such a big kid when they even try. We got special potty books that Bridgette can only look at while she's on the potty. I might be in there for a while reading but I really don't care as long as she uses the potty. Then eventually I didn't have to read anymore. We also let her pick out her own pretty princess panties (she LOVES princesses) and told her if she went potty and tried to stay dry then she could wear big girl panties like mama. (which she loved). We also use a reward system: sticker for sitting on the potty; 1 [gummy] bear for going pee (made from juices of course; and she gets a "circle" (small peanut butter cup) if she goes poop in the potty. Also we have her help clean up any messes she has. If she doesn't tell me soon enough that she has to go potty and has an accident she helps me clean it up [my pediatrician suggested this]. She tells me it's gross and I agree and tell her she'll just have to try to get it next time. I don't really make a big deal though out of accidents or she has a [hissy] fit. I haven't done that for poopy accidents yet but I'm starting that next week. She just started going pee in the potty constantly 3 weeks ago with very few accidents (most of them she just couldn't get her pants down fast enough when she was by the potty). For her poop, she likes to have privacy, so the few times she has been successful in pooping in the potty I've just had to leave her in there and leave the room. She would cheer when she was done, so then I knew it was time to go in and help [wipe]. I hope this helps [at least know you're not alone!] One down 2 to go.. lol

I'm the mommy of 3.5 yr old Bridgette, 2 yr old Anastasia and 5 month old Leilani.

I tried desperately to train my son when he turned 3. He didn't want anything to do with it. I think it was partly that he didn't see the point of it all, and partly because it was his way to exercise a little control over his world.

We found a wonderful woman in our neighborhood that had a small in-home daycare where some of the children were training. Our son wanted all the praise and rewards (and big kids underwear) that the other kids were getting, and that did the trick for him.

We didn't send him there to get trained, it was just a nice little perk of needing him to get some "out of home" experiences. Win-win!

I am not sure about the child lock thing, but as for the potty training, take him some where where there is a school like setting where he can play with the kids and have fun. Ask him if he would like to play with them all the time. If he says yes let him know he can't come back until he becomes a big boy and is potty trained!

J.,

My son would not potty train either. We had to put him into daycare w/o potty training. They wouldn't allow him to wear pull-ups or diapers. What happened was about a month of extra laundry, but in the end he trained. The other kids made pretty good examples, and the daycare teachers knew what was going on. They were a little annoyed at such a stubborn boy and the messy clothes. As a single mom at the time, it was a huge hassle with the laundry, but it worked.

Why can't you leave the lock on the door? I left the locks on my doors until he figured out how to open them. As long as you are not putting him in there for punishment, you shouldn't have an issue. The other way to do it, is a baby gate. He needs to learn that there are limits.

You might actually have a bigger problem than you think. Why is he not sleeping at night? It may be sheer mischieviousnous, but there may be something else wrong.

F.

the only thing that worked with my son was having him run around naked with the potty in the room. he'd wet his underwear all day long but naked he'd run to the potty. we did this as much as possible until he started making the connection. also focus on him dressing himself so he understands that...my boy was awful at dressing!

hi! i have a 4 year old son who didn't want to potty train, either! first, remember that as frustrating as this is, it's NORMAL! i tried the underwear thing, too. i took my son to wal-mart and even let him pick out spongebob and thomas underwear, thinking that might help. NOPE! he would only wear them over his pull-ups. so i tried this: i started doing fun things like coloring and the things he'd get to do in school and i told him about all the friends he'd make. i told him that he couldn't go to school until he potty trained. it helped, but he still wasn't ready. then one day my friend came over with her little girl, who is exactly one day older than my son. my son watched her use the potty and he was interested, so i started taking him in the potty with me each time i went and i let him flush the toilet. he LOVED watched the toilet flush, so then i told him he could only flush the toilet if he peed or pooed in it. then i resolved one weekend to try the underwear and it worked! i told my son that NO MATTER WHAT he would have to go on the potty (he had his own little potty, of course) and that he would have that gross poopy and pee on him if he didn't. i told him if he peed on the floor he would have to help mommy clean it up, which meant he'd have to stop playing! i also put special hand soap in the bathrooms just for him, and let him know it was his special soap and only he could use it, but only when he went potty! he peed in his underwear twice (no pants, just the underwear to make it easier and stress the "big boy pants") then had NO problem! it was like he was instantly potty trained! it was tough, but we got through it, and you will, too! now he loves going to the potty! my biggest concern was the preschool thing, too, so i understand the anxiety this problem gives you! but you will both be fine! best of luck to you! God bless! :o)