HELP Us Kick the Binky and Swaddle Habit!

hi L.,try giving him a teddybear to sleep with and then try singing a little song to him. most babies like music. soft music.also try reading a story to him.a mom grandma,and greatgrandma.

You could try swaddeling him with his arms out if you want to wean him of swaddeling. By the way Nordstroms sells a blanket by swaddle designs, 1-2-3-swaddle it is HUGE way bigger than any swaddle blanket I have ever seen it is also for sale at target.com

I had the same problem. Except, get this, my daughter was 10 MONTHS OLD. Yup. I was still swaddling her at 10 months. It was fine back before she got all coordinated, but after she learned how to sit up and was learning how to crawl, she would struggle to break loose of the swaddling. She'd break free, wake up, cry because she wasn't swaddled, I'd have to re-swaddle, rock her back to sleep, etc. Even if she didn't break from the swaddling, she'd wake about 2x a night. More recently, she started waking every 2-3 hours. That's when I knew I had to do something. I was literally going MAD from lack of sleep, and I knew it wasn't healthy for her to need me so much.

Three weeks ago I finally stopped swaddling and rocking her to sleep, and stopped giving her a bottle in the middle of the night.

I am a proponent of NOT crying it out. Please don't let your little one just cry themselves to sleep out of exhaustion. I refused to just abandon my child and let them fall asleep from the exhaustion of crying.

So here's the problem: If your child is 4 - 6 months of age or older, you really shouldn't have to get up with them at all during the night. They are old enough at this point (unless there are weight issues, which your guy definitely doesn't have) to not need a feeding at all during the night.

If you ARE having to get up with the kidlet, it is almost certainly because they haven't learned the skills necessary to fall asleep without your help yet.

This is a skill that is actually quite easy for children to learn, and most will start getting the hang of it in just a few nights.

If you're finding that you have to get up during the night, it is almost certainly because he has come to rely on YOU to help fall back to sleep at night.

For example, if a baby is put to bed with a binky, he may have no trouble falling asleep. But when the bink falls out during the night, and he wakes up without it, he'll need your
help to put it back in!

All people - adults and children alike - actually wake up several times during any given night. The difference is that we as adults know how to put ourselves back to sleep so quickly that we often don't remember waking up at all!

Once your little one has learned this same skill, he will be able to fall back to sleep WITHOUT having to rely on you.

How do you do it? Take away everything that the baby has come to rely on.

The first night is going to be HARD. Put him down without swaddling (I put my daughter on her tummy). He will cry, cry, cry. Reassure him with a couple key phrases (mine are "it's alright, Mommy's here..." and "it's night night time, sweetheart.") and give him gentle touches every now and again (I rubbed her back the first couple nights). But DON'T RUB HIM TO SLEEP, DON'T SING HIM TO SLEEP, DON'T REASSURE HIM TO SLEEP. Don't do anything that will make him rely on YOU to fall asleep. Do these things intermittently, and only to let him know that you are there, and that he isn't alone. After a while, leave the room for just 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, go in and repeat the process. Leave again, enter again - try to stretch the time out longer (to 10 minutes) if he seems to wind down when you leave.

But whatever you do, do not pick him up, do not undo all of your hard work up to that point (it'll be hard, but trust me!). Allow him the gift of falling asleep on his own.

If he gets to sleep and then wakes in the night, DO NOT GO TO HIM RIGHT AWAY - wait 5 minutes. 9 times out of 10, they'll fall asleep again on their own. If not, just do the reassurance again, leave, and if they continue to cry, repeat.

It took my daughter an hour and a half the first night to fall asleep, and she cried THE ENTIRE TIME.

I repeated the process for her two naps the next day, as well. She was very angry that mommy wasn't doing all those things anymore, and cried hard, but fell off sooner when she realized mommy wasn't going to give her what she wanted, but was still there and did not abandon her.

The second night, she fell asleep after 45 minutes of crying, comforting, reassuring, repeat cycle.

But it only took my daughter 2 nights and then she'd learned how to sleep on her own. Now, instead of sleeping maybe 9 hours a night with 2 - 4 wakings, she sleeps 11-12 hours a night and doesn't even cry out or wake up. She goes down for her naps during the day a lot better, and sleeps longer, as well. She is like a new baby! She's so much happier, so much more playful, energetic, and alert. *I* am so much happier, energetic and alert! She's an ANGEL even moreso than usual.

I literally have NO TROUBLE AT ALL with her anymore. She doesn't even FUSS when I put her down. I do our night time routine, put her in bed, put the covers over her (constantly repeating the phrase, "it's night night time"), tell her I love her, kiss her goodnight, and leave. It literally takes me all of about 2 minutes to put her down, and I don't hear a peep out of her until 11 hours later (like clockwork).

The first night is hell, and I constantly questioned myself and whether what I was doing was right. But now I know it was, and I know I did the right thing because she is sleeping waaaaay better/longer, she is happier, she is healthier, and she's learning faster.

Hope it helps!

Try putting him down with his thumb in his mouth and no swaddling. It probably won't work. You are going to have to "cry it out" until he finds the binky or his thumb. Do it during the day so you can sleep at night. Turn up the cd player or TV or go outside and sit by the door so you can be sure he is okay. The first time will be the longest. Don't give in. The next time will be shorter. And so on. As he can sleep without the swaddling at nap time then do it at bed time. It should be easier to do and something he wants to do.

Whatever you choose to do, don't give in or change after a few days. Consistency is important. You know that as a preschool teacher. Use some of that preschool detachment knowledge that you have to decide what is best for your child.

I had both problems, but one with each of my kids. My daughter was the binky addict. I kept at least 5 in her crib so there would be a better chance of her finding one on her own. I also sewed one to the top of a firm stuffed animal so she could grab the bear and pull it to her mouth instead of having to figure out how to turn the binky the right way. Give him plenty of practice during the day getting his own binky and putting it in his own mouth. I don't think it is best, or easy to try to get him to give it up.

My son, was 20 pounds by 6 months old and HAD to be swaddled at night to sleep. If he wiggled out, he would wake up and I had to re swaddle him. First of all, he is big enough that if he rolled onto his tummy and got stuck, he'd scream. The risk of him suffocating if there are no other big blankets is next to nothing (assuming he is otherwise healthy). I used Walmart's swaddling blankets and they fit him until 6 months. Something else I did though is sew 3 receiving blankets together to kinda form a T. Then I had a bigger blanket to swaddle with and less chance he'd get out. You could also swaddle him with one or both arms out of the blanket. He likely just wants the "snug" feeling and to be warm.

Hi!
I was in the same situation as you just a few months ago. I have an 8 month old son who is also very large for his age. What worked for us was to deal with each issue one at a time. Once he started rolling over in the swaddle and getting stuck we started putting him in a sleep sack. We started for a few days just with naps and then once he got used to that we would put him in the sleep sack for the night as well.

As for the binky we did have to let him cry a little. I would let him cry for 10 minutes if he pulled it out and then go up and put it back in. Within a few days he figured out not to pull it out. At about 6.5 months he was able to find the binky on his own and put it back in his mouth most of the time. I just make sure to have a lot of binkys in the crib with him.

I hope that helps!

He's at the age where he is becoming more and more aware of his circumstances. Also he's hit a growth spurt, but from the sounds of things he's been growing a rapid pace to begin with. That may be part of his restlessnes, he's hungry. He's a big boy. Self soothing with the pacifier is a skill he'll learn, but he's still pretty young to go looking for his own binky. That's why they make clips to attach them to a collar or shirt so they don't fall away. Carter's makes blanket sleeper sacks for babies as large as your son. This might help you. Snuggling hiim in his blankets provides him a sense of security. And at this age he's more and more aware of your presence and you coming to his aid when he cries. He's establishing a foundation of trust with you, knowing he can depend upon you to come when needed. Sounds goofy, but it's true. I never liked the cry out method either. Crying is a baby's only means of communicating, it means something and I never ignore my kids because I don't want them to ignore me. They learn what they live, even at this young age. Rock him, tuck him in in crib with his blankets tucked in at the bottom and the sides, that 'confinement' might help. This period of time will go by quickly. The 5.5 months have just flown by and before you know it he'll be graduating from high school and heading off to college. Treat these times as your special times, read to him, sing to him, tell him a story.....hold him close and he'll go to sleep sound and you'll sleep better with a happy baby who has sweet dreams.

we swaddles my son for a very ling time (8 mo.) but we finally stopped - we decided to "kill 2 birds w/ one stone" by unswaddling and letting him "cry it out". it worked magically. being unswaddled allowed him to figure out how to sooth himself and within a couple days there were no more tears and nice long stretches of sleep. he still uses a pacifier (11 mo.) to go to sleep, but recently even that has naturally stared to become unnecessary. good luck.

Oh dear! Yeah I mean, he has pretty much outgrown swaddling! We used a binky a little but I also encouraged thumb sucking, because they can stick that in their mouth any time and you don't have to go in and find the binky all the time. I was thrilled when he finally figured out where his thumb was in relation to his mouth! Perhaps during naptimes you can eliminate the swaddling/binky and nudge his thumb into his mouth when he cries. I know you said it's hard for you to listen to him cry, but maybe if you tell yourself, ONCE a day, during his morning nap time, I'll let him cry, and then the other times I'll rescue him. Maybe that would give YOU practice resisting the urge to rescue as well as give HIM practice at settling himself. I would actually go do yard work or laundry so I wouldn't hear him. I know a lot of Moms think letting your baby cry is criminal but we were really glad we allowed our babies the opportunity to learn to go to sleep on their own -- after 10 weeks they slept through the night and took naps wonderfully. Babies that sleep well are happy and content.

First, I love that you call him chicken nugget, that is so cute!
Second, I don't have much advice, except that you know what - go with the flow! If he rolls over onto his stomach, he will have to have wormed his body/arms out of the swaddling anyway, and he will likely be able to get himself back over. It was about this age that I talked to my dr about the rolling over and she said that re: the whole SIDS thing - you can't stand there all night and roll him back over every time they go to their tummy, so you are safe to let them go where they want to go - as long you are doing everything else you can do reduce his risk (did you know that the binky has shown to reduce the risk as well, btw?).
As far as the binky issue - we learned with our first to seed the bed with them (LOTS of them at first, when she was less talented at finding them) so when they wake up in the middle of the night they can find another on their own. It's not perfect, but it works! Worked wonderfully with our second baby too...now if only we could kick it permanently (he's 2!!!)!
Whatever you decide to do - good luck!!!

Ask your pediatrician for suggestions, but ours told us to quit swaddling when our daughter reached 6 months so she could develop physically. We started by doing a "semi-swaddle" where we swaddled her with one arm out, then both arms out, then from the waist down, each for about a week. This was at Christmas time so we were concerned about her staying warm and would sometimes do a sleep sack over the swaddle blanket. That kept the blanket around her loosely so she stayed warm, but we didn't worry about her suffocating since it was contained around her lower body. Since then, she still likes to have a blanket over her when she falls asleep, but it's never over her an hour later. I'd say start by getting rid of the swaddle and then give him some time to be ready to give up the pacifier. My daughter also used to take one in the crib, carseat, stroller, most anytime she could get it!! At about 9 months, she quit asking for it and we were a little slow to pick up on it, but she stopped taking it about 2 weeks later. She hasn't had a pacifier in over a year now! :) Let him adapt to one change at a time for it to be easiest on all of you. You might also check out "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly. You explained in your question that you don't want to cry it out, so just ignore the suggestions that you need to! My daughter is 21 months, sleeps through the night in her own full size bed in her own room and has NEVER been allowed to cry it out. It's absolutely possible and reasonable to adjust your sons sleeping habits without making him stressed and crying. It may take some time, but it's well worth it to have a happy and secure baby.

Hi L., my name is C. and I have five children myself. My husband and I have had these same issues with two of our youngest kids. The best and quickest advice I can give is that mostly the baby prefers to just be warm. At 5 mos its not so much the swaddeling to be confined as it is to feel warm and cozy. I always made sure that my kids had full bellies and a warm bath before bed time, or nap time for that matter. The binky, will usually take care of itself over time, but again when they are full they are usually good to go. If they are truly sleepy they WILL go to bed without the binky. If they are just not sleepy enough to go without it, dont put them down yet. Let them stay awake untill they are truly ready to sleep. Also a schedule is KEY!!! I also have a daycare with 9 children under 2 and I will swear by this everytime. Hope my experiances help. Good luck:0) -C. D.-

We did the cry it out and it works well. It was really stressful but very successful

Hi,
my help to you would be swaddling him and give him a binky!
hold him tight and right next to you,
he is still a little one, keep him right next to you in your room if need's be 5 month's OMG. and about the binky, well if it dose fall out just pat him jently and sing to him and maybe he will feel your love and fall asleep with out the binky in his mouth? make sure you feed him really good before bed time or taking a nap remember babies like to be snugled, they were all in a ball warm and safe, what makes us think that thay still don't need that,
think about how you need someone to hold you? well your baby is wanting the same. They just want to eat sleep and feel safe? the time will be right for the binky to go. don't base your jugment on any other babies
just your's.
listen to what he is saying to you,if you look and listen you will unserstand. I'm all about doing what best for the kids!
remember he needs you very mush.

I don't think he'll be able to adjust to falling back to sleep without binky without you allowing him to cry a bit. You'll all be more well rested when you're not playing the binky retrieval game - a few nights with some tears (probably not many since he's such an easy baby) will not hurt any of you. But weeks and months with poor sleep actually can! I let my kids (as babies) fall asleep with binky, then if they lose it during the night, I don't go to give it back to them. That's a good middle ground. Good luck!!

We did what we dubbed the 'Big Boy Swaddle' which is when you wrap him from the arm pits down. And then not long after that we stopped swaddling at all.

And good for Grammy for getting him down without the swaddle and binky. So you know it can be done! My advice would be to observe what she does and then try that.

Know that this will only take a couple nights to learn to find his binky and transition to a new way of sleeping.

I wish I had a good answer, I will be curious to read the responses you get. My son turned 2 last Oct 28 and he still uses a binky at night and nap time. I want to get rid of the binky by the time he is 3!

I would have to say that I can only see two options for you...either continue with the habit or let him cry it out. At 5.5 months old he should be able to get his own binky back in his mouth (it varies but both of my kids could). If grandma gets him to sleep without the swaddle binky thing, you might observe her technique a time or two and see what she does that you do not, but chances are he is just used to how you do it when you are around and will fight you on it...thus leaving you with the option of letting him cry. This is one of the not so fun times of parenting. If his pediatrican indicates that his motor skills are normal developmentally then you could possibly try teaching during the day time how to put his binky back in.... good luck!

What's the big deal if you swaddle him? He's comfortable. Summer is coming. He won't want it in the heat. Why take away his Binky and turn him onto the thumb. You won't be able to take away his thumb. Lots of children suck their thumb when the adult teeth are coming in.

Babies all over Europe have Binkies called NUK's over there and they don't seem to use them once they go to school. They have a little chain to put the NUK on and attach it to the baby's wrist or to their clothes. That way they can find it.
He's a good baby. Don't disturb what you've got by making him cry himself to sleep. People think that's okay but it was a theory in the 1940's and 50's that made for many anxious and neurotic people. When nursing, babies just fall asleep at the breast and then you can be put down gently in their bed. If you use a bottle it's cuddle time with the same effect.
In my work I see people with far too many chronic illnesses who were not treated kindly enough in their infancy.
Good luck to you. You have a fine baby and the makings of a compassionate member of society.

What i did for son, was to swaddle him but let him have his hands, at about 5 months. Then slowly started loosening the blanket everynight, and about a week later, i was able to put him to bed without being swaddled.
*But everyone told me, he would not go to kindergarten being swaddled...lol.
Unfortunatly it wasnt until about 7months or so before he started putting his binky in his own mouth at night or nap.
Best of Luck!!

Just read your update and know you are probably not looking for more comments on this ... BUT :) -- my daughter is almost 3 and still uses her binky at nighttime ... and yep, sometimes during the day. I had a pediatrician who told me that I should swap out the binky for a blanket or stuffed animal because of the social stigma, and my thought was: If the binky brings her comfort, then so what? I just don't see what the big deal is -- I did some online research about the effect of binkies on teeth, and I haven't found strong (or really any) evidence it is a problem.

Good luck with your little "chicken nugget!" :)

Hi there! Don't feel pressured to stop swaddling IF it works. I swaddled my son until he was 10 months! We used a "Miracle Blanket" (about $30), and I could get it as tight as it needed to be. I slowly started putting it on him looser so he COULD get out if he wanted, and then when he got a cold and needed to roll to his side to breath, we tried it one night and that was the end of swaddling! He does still have a binky (20 months now), but only for sleeping, and usually spits it out before long. Good luck, hope things go smoothly for you when you're ready!

I don't have any tips for the binky problem, but I did buy my daughter some flannel material at the store when it was on sale. I bought big rectangular pieces and used the Russian/Ukranian swaddle method. You can't get out of it. My daughter was like Houdini when it came to the typical swaddling method we use here. My Ukranian friend showed me how and my daughter could never get out of it.

I found that swaddling helped when they were learning to do something new and hit their next milestone, sitting, crawling, standing, etc. She woke a whole lot less when she was swaddled during these times.

If you live in the Portland area, I would be happy to show you how to swaddle with a big rectangle. Get the cheaper flannel and don't bother hemming it, you won't use it long enough to bother with it. If you are in the PDX area and I can get my daughter to part with the one piece I have left, you are welcome to it.

Let me know.
D.

I completely understand the "not letting the baby cry it out" routine. I have raised 3 happy, healthy children and not one cried it out. I also was one of those mother's who thought I'd never have a child talking with a binky in her mouth. My youngest proved me wrong. Finally, when she was 2 1/2, a cousin made an awesome suggestion that worked with hers. Clip the tip of the pinky. I tried this with Faith and when she asked for her binky I handed it to her. She stuck it in her mouth, sucked, took it out and declared it was broken :-) Oh my! Then she suggested we go to the store and by a new one. I told her they don't sell binkies to big girls that walk, talk, and use the big girl potty. Only to babies that need them. She NEVER asked for it again. I was so grateful! I'm sure this doesn't work for every child and I waited until I felt she'd be fine without it and was mostly doing it out of habit. Also, my oldest sucked her thumb forever, and still wakes up from time to time with it in her mouth (she's 19 years old...lol). But she has the most beautiful teeth and perfect bite of any one in our family. It all works out. Good luck!