This is my area of expertise, and I am a professional development instructor for OTs and teachers in the area of brain development. Let me start by saying that I have worked with kids who display the same symptoms, and after 6 to 12 months of therapies and trainings, they have been able to learn and retain information on their own, become independent in doing their homework, and even have gone on to college without accommodations and tutors. I do the work I do because, like you, we all want our children to be independent and successful.
That being said, let me assure you that there is no silver bullet! Every person is unique and this must be respected while figuring out the best set of programs for that child.
Over the last 10 years I have developed a model called the Pyramid of Potential. At the base is body and mind health - the cells of the body must be healthy in order for the brain to work optimally, and there needs to be a reduction in stress. It is very stressful, for example, for your son to go to school each day and see himself fail at certain tasks. So number one, consider stress reducing programs like yoga, cranial sacral therapy, deep breathing, etc.. Be sure that he is getting plenty of protein to regulate blood sugar, omega 3 fats and NO trans fats (our brains are made up of fats), and water (our bodies are 80% water). If you need help with this, find a good nutritionist. Also, many kids have hidden food allergies that simulate learning disabilities.
Next up in the pyramid is neurodevelopment. Correct neurodevelopment happens during early stages of development in infancy, for example, while your son was on the floor on his tummy, not only was he developing back shoulder and neck muscles, but he was also developing the ability to sequence and tell time. While he was on his back, he was developing the ability to integrate his senses, concentrate and develop memory (one reason while most ADD kids also have poor memory). For more information, you can google the Pyramid of Potential or "primitive reflexes". To get help, there are some DVDs out there to show how to integrate the primitive reflexes, or you can look for an OT who is trained in "integrating the primitive reflexes". Most are trained in testing for them but not for integrating them, so be sure to ask.
Next, once the neurodevelopment has been worked on, and the pathways are now open, your son may be much better, but still not ready to come out of special ed. He may have an auditory processing problem, diagnosed only by an audiologist. The best help for this is listening therapy, but Earobics (a computer program that is inexpensive) is another option.
Knowing that he does not remember what he reads, I am thinking that there is probably a vision issue here as well. The primitive reflexes open up the brain for improved vision. I have had students who completed their primitive reflexes, and then did vision therapy that was easy, short and inexpensive. Others did vision therapy first and it was painful, took more than twice as long, and more than twice as expensive, so be sure to integrate the primitive reflexes first. Vision therapy information can be found at www.covd.org. You can also find a behavioral optometrist in your area from this web site. I know a boy who was in the Life Skills class, not expected to graduate from high school, who did vision therapy, got into the regular curriculum, and is now doing very well in communtiy college. It turned his life around.
Another short term possibility to help his vision is Irlen colored overlays. For SOME people, just putting one of the colors over text makes the text stop moving, it becomes clearer, the words stand out better, and the readers eyes stop hurting. these overlays cost just $4 each, and can be found on www.irlen.com. For some people, it is a $4 cure for dyslexia.
After these are done, there may still be unresolved cognitive issues: memory, processing speed, attention, logic, etc. If you are a do-it-yourselfer, there are good kits available, like Audi-blox or BrainSpark! (not to be confused with Brain Spark the on-line program). There are other programs that have providers who do the cognitive training for PACE or Audi-Blox. I know that you will find several in your area. They usually guarantee a 2 year growth in about 3 months of training! I, for example, am a PACE provider and my students usually get more like 15 years total growth because of the other work I have them do first.
Once his body, auditory system, visual system, and cognitive skills are in place, he will be successful, and will be able to learn from any decent teacher.
I wish you the very best! If you would like to ask me any questions about this, please feel free to respond privately.
K. Johnson, MS Ed