Help with 3Rd Grader and His Homework

Updated on December 15, 2010
J.R. asks from Brooklyn, NY
13 answers

My son is in 3rd grade and everyday we have a problem with his homework. He doesn't remember a thing I teach him. We can read a book and go over the same word in every page and he wont recognize it. I go over subtraction with him and teach him how to borrow and how to put the numbers in the proper columns and the next day he'll forget. It's becoming very stressful and it makes me want to give up but I don't want to. I need help and don't know what to do. It's like he just don't pay attention to anything. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP.
Update:
He is in public school and is in special education, he has a para but it looks like he is not learning a thing.

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M.P.

answers from New York on

Perhaps these tasks are to difficult for him, maybe try some tasks that are easier. Maybe write a book together about a social situation. Re read that together, then get him to retell the story. In his own words. Subtraction is a difficult abstract task and he may have problems with abstract tasks. Use concrete materials instead. You may just need to be patient.
M.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would try a learning center, they have wonderful techniques and many of them test your kids to see what ways they learn to get it done right the first time!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Why? That question can be answered with an evaluation. Is it attention? Is it memory? What is the issue? You need to know. This is not a home problem, this is a school problem, and unless you are homeschooling, you should not be teaching him, you should be providing a quiet place and time to do the homework, and minimal assistance with answering basic questions when he is stumped, but if you have to sit down and teach him, something is wrong and you need to hand it back to the teacher.

I would do three things if I were you.

#1: don't prop him up with his homework anymore. If he has a problem, the teacher needs to see what it is, not try and guess through what you are doing for him.

#2: Get a Neuropsychological evaluation. You need to know more than the school does about what is going on with your son's learing issues. If the nueropsychologist suggests it, take him to see a medical doctor (psychiatrsit or Developmental pediatrician) for diagnositcs.

#3 Request that the school assist your son, and put him on the path for a school based assessment. They will have to do in class interventions, and may not assess, they may provide intervention based on something called RTI, without any evaluation. If you do not see vast improvement quickly, request an evaluation, and use your private evaluation to keep them honest.

M.

Ah, have you done a Neuropsychological assessment of your own or do you depend on the school to tell you everything you need to know about your son? Get your own evaluation if you don't own one.

Log on to www.wrightslaw.com and start reading about progress, homework, and smart IEP's. I think you need to call an IEP meeting and discuss the problem. Every child should have an IEP that is cacluated to so that the child will make progress.

M.

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

does his teacher see the same thing? Is he/she concerned about your son? I'd ask the school to do an evaluation to see if there is a learning disability

M.S.

answers from Columbus on

Where is the teacher in this? Do you homeschool? If you homeschool, I'm not sure what advice to give, since I have never done homeschooling- I hope you get some great feedback.

If he is in a public or private school, you have to contact the teacher to let her know he is struggling. In our school, parents are discourgaged from helping too much with homework. If the parent helps or does the problems, then the teacher will never know the child isn't "getting it". Kids today, are learning math differently than when I went to school. I tried helping my son with homework (math) and found that he was being taught a different method than I learned, so I was confusing him. Definitely contact the teacher, he/she may be able to get some extra time and help to him.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

You need to discuss his learning with the special ed teacher. I don't know what his diagnosis is, or how modified his work is. I am a teaching assistant, and having a TA or an aide will not change his disability. You need to discuss realistic expectations and strategies with the special ed teacher, because you should not have to teach him at home. Homework should review things that he has learned and done in school. Nothing that comes home should be a new concept that you have to teach. Meet with his special ed teacher to find out how she is teaching these concepts and be sure that she/he knows what your son is and is not capable of doing on his own in terms of the homework. Any academic concerns should be discussed with his teacher/s, request a conference

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I've had the same problem with my kids off and on. Just go over everything with him and don't stress him out if he doesn't remember. He'll remember it eventually. He may have a learning disability but unless it's severe enough to get a diagnoses, you may not find out until he's older. Odds are he'll outgrow this or compensate for his lack of memory. Don't over do it with him. Too much work at once will exhaust him. Give him breaks often and go over it again later. Make sure he's not hungry or thirsty or tired when you work with him. Don't get angry with him. Be cheerful and encouraging him, especially if he remembers and does good. Cheer him on and stay positive. He'll get there. They all have different learning styles and some kids just remember better than others. When it's all said and done, he'll get it in the end. Just remember patience goes a long way. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

m

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M.D.

answers from New York on

I had my daughter tested for auditory processing at age 7. She has the same difficulties. I felt as if I could have wrote your post. We do take her for "speech" but for processing. She has difficulty with short term memory. so if they go over a subject in school for 20 mins. The next day it's like it's all new. but if you ask her who bought you this toy when you were 2 she remembers. because it's only 1 step. If you haven't explored getting him a speech eval for auditory processing. you should. They teach them memory stragetiges. LOTS of VISUALS!

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Try using manipulatives. For subtraction, SHOW him with the 100 unit square and the 10 unit longs and the little single 1 unit blocks how what you do when you subtract is "GO next door and GET ten more" (not borrow). Perhaps the physical tactile touching of the blocks will help him understand what he's doing. Get that down and THEN move on to the numbers on paper. (When you use the blocks, make the same 'ones, tens, hundreds' chart on paper to keep your blocks in line. This will help him to have the same 'grid' when he transfers this block learning into the written numbers).

As for reading, maybe try not going on to the next page of a book (a short book) until he tells you what that page was about. ie with the book Click Clack Moo: You say "So what was that page about?" him: "um I dunno." You: "Well let's read it again." ..... "Okay so what was it about?" "It was saying how the cows wanted some electric blankets." You: "Why do they want them?" him: "Because the barn is cold." You: "Who did they ask?" him: "the farmer." You: "How did they ask him? Did they call or send an email or what did they do?" him: "They typed him a letter"

Hope some of this helps. 3rd and 2nd grade were wonderful grades to teach imo.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Without a diagnosis I can't chime in a single word about helping / anything to try or look up. Depending on the disorder different things "work". For one child X will be helpful, for a different child that same X will make things 1000 times worse.

Which, honestly, may be the problem in SPED. Some programs are so used to one KIND of disorder that the teachers only teach to those kids' needs.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

He's in special ed, so I will assume there's some sort of diagnosis and you're in touch with his teachers/school about his education. I just want to give you words of encouragement. I know it's hard, but keep at it. My son also receives special services. His entire schooling has been a struggle - it takes him forever to learn new concepts. Math? Forget it - it's like climbing Mt. Everest, then rolling down the hill just before reaching the top and having to start all over again. BUT, we keep starting over and little by little, he HAS learned those concepts. Just accept that it will take longer for your son to learn and that it will be MUCH HARDER for him to learn - that is his and your reality. I truly understand your frustration. I have been (and still currently am) exactly where you are. But, please, keep at it - I can't stress this enough. He WILL learn and he WILL make you proud with his efforts one day. Of all the adults surrounding him, YOU are the ONE PERSON who CANNOT give up on him. Hang in there - you CAN handle this.

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K.J.

answers from Albany on

This is my area of expertise, and I am a professional development instructor for OTs and teachers in the area of brain development. Let me start by saying that I have worked with kids who display the same symptoms, and after 6 to 12 months of therapies and trainings, they have been able to learn and retain information on their own, become independent in doing their homework, and even have gone on to college without accommodations and tutors. I do the work I do because, like you, we all want our children to be independent and successful.

That being said, let me assure you that there is no silver bullet! Every person is unique and this must be respected while figuring out the best set of programs for that child.

Over the last 10 years I have developed a model called the Pyramid of Potential. At the base is body and mind health - the cells of the body must be healthy in order for the brain to work optimally, and there needs to be a reduction in stress. It is very stressful, for example, for your son to go to school each day and see himself fail at certain tasks. So number one, consider stress reducing programs like yoga, cranial sacral therapy, deep breathing, etc.. Be sure that he is getting plenty of protein to regulate blood sugar, omega 3 fats and NO trans fats (our brains are made up of fats), and water (our bodies are 80% water). If you need help with this, find a good nutritionist. Also, many kids have hidden food allergies that simulate learning disabilities.

Next up in the pyramid is neurodevelopment. Correct neurodevelopment happens during early stages of development in infancy, for example, while your son was on the floor on his tummy, not only was he developing back shoulder and neck muscles, but he was also developing the ability to sequence and tell time. While he was on his back, he was developing the ability to integrate his senses, concentrate and develop memory (one reason while most ADD kids also have poor memory). For more information, you can google the Pyramid of Potential or "primitive reflexes". To get help, there are some DVDs out there to show how to integrate the primitive reflexes, or you can look for an OT who is trained in "integrating the primitive reflexes". Most are trained in testing for them but not for integrating them, so be sure to ask.

Next, once the neurodevelopment has been worked on, and the pathways are now open, your son may be much better, but still not ready to come out of special ed. He may have an auditory processing problem, diagnosed only by an audiologist. The best help for this is listening therapy, but Earobics (a computer program that is inexpensive) is another option.

Knowing that he does not remember what he reads, I am thinking that there is probably a vision issue here as well. The primitive reflexes open up the brain for improved vision. I have had students who completed their primitive reflexes, and then did vision therapy that was easy, short and inexpensive. Others did vision therapy first and it was painful, took more than twice as long, and more than twice as expensive, so be sure to integrate the primitive reflexes first. Vision therapy information can be found at www.covd.org. You can also find a behavioral optometrist in your area from this web site. I know a boy who was in the Life Skills class, not expected to graduate from high school, who did vision therapy, got into the regular curriculum, and is now doing very well in communtiy college. It turned his life around.

Another short term possibility to help his vision is Irlen colored overlays. For SOME people, just putting one of the colors over text makes the text stop moving, it becomes clearer, the words stand out better, and the readers eyes stop hurting. these overlays cost just $4 each, and can be found on www.irlen.com. For some people, it is a $4 cure for dyslexia.

After these are done, there may still be unresolved cognitive issues: memory, processing speed, attention, logic, etc. If you are a do-it-yourselfer, there are good kits available, like Audi-blox or BrainSpark! (not to be confused with Brain Spark the on-line program). There are other programs that have providers who do the cognitive training for PACE or Audi-Blox. I know that you will find several in your area. They usually guarantee a 2 year growth in about 3 months of training! I, for example, am a PACE provider and my students usually get more like 15 years total growth because of the other work I have them do first.

Once his body, auditory system, visual system, and cognitive skills are in place, he will be successful, and will be able to learn from any decent teacher.

I wish you the very best! If you would like to ask me any questions about this, please feel free to respond privately.

K. Johnson, MS Ed

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