Help with a 4 Month Old's Sleeping Patterns

She is definitely not manipulating you! Babies don't have that capacity until they hit something like a year old or later.

We have a similar situation. My 4 month old son does not sleep nearly as well as his sister did at this age. However, I was doing some research on reputable websites (Mayo Clinic, etc.), and found a lot of helpful information. 1) Most first born children sleep longer earlier than their subsequent siblings. 2) 80% of children do NOT sleep through the night before 1 year old. (Despite it seeming like everyone else's child is doing. Everyone else is probably exaggerating.) 3) If your child is breastfeeding, until 6 months you need to assume that if they wake up at night, they are hungry.

We never did sleep training with my daughter but she naturally slept 10 hour stretches by 4 months, 12 hours straight by 6 months. All kids are different, and colds/teething definitely throw everything off. I think also 4 months is a natural point for sleeping to get worse even if it was better at 3 months (if I remember from my research). Hang in there; I think it's just a matter of time! Good luck!

Wait until she recovers from the cold. I think you'd feel much better about her crying it out if she didn't have snot all over herself. My daughter also was a great sleeper early on (slept through the night on her own at 10 wks because she found her thumb) but she went through phases where she'd wake up multiple times a night - looking back, I'm sure it was due to teething and growth spurts. She was a big baby to begin with and her first two teeth erupted at 13 weeks. By the time she was one, she had all 16 teeth - whereas my son only had his bottom 2 teeth when he turned one. So you can imagine, my daughter went through a lot of growth changes in her first year. If I recall, we sleep-trained my son at 3 or 4 months, and it was difficult because he started teething then. Even though his first tooth didn't come out until he turned 8 months, the teething made sleep-training a challenge. I never gave either kids something to ease the pain, but their dentist told me today that Tylenol or Orajel is safe to put on for teething. I wish I had tried that - it would've helped with those long, sleepless nights. This just goes to say that even though you sleep-train now, be prepared to have them regress whenever they go through growth spurts and such. Remember, they go through so many changes in their first year!

Hello,

Your baby is not manipulating you. We had the same problem and still dealing with it. Our 7 month old is still teething, with no teeth in site yet, but started at 4 months. We held off sleep training because he also had the croup at that time and the Dr. recommended making sure he was over the croup or any cold before starting. We're starting with the training now because he doesn't seem to fall asleep unless he's on me or my husband. See what your pediatrician would recommend. I breastfeed but our baby is big so our Dr said wean him off night time feedings. I would also recommend Tylenol or Motrin for the teething pain instead of a gel.

If you decide to sleep train maybe take it in smaller steps. It will take a little longer but be less painful for you and your baby.

Good luck!

K. (who was up at 2 & 4am with a crying and very tired baby)

Right around 4 months my dd starting sleeping worse (she had been sleeping long 7+ hr stretches, then switched back to only sleeping 2-3 hr stretches). Now, two months later it is still pretty darn bad, so I hear ya' on the irrational middle-of-the-night thoughts! :) I was literally crying at 3am this morning! But, I have to agree with the others who said she is not manipulating you (my husband says this too about our daughter). She's a baby who is having some kind of need. Babies don't manipulate-kids do. I don't happen to believe in the CIO methods of sleep training, but even those who do advocate it don't advocate for doing it when there is teething/sickness, because it is just plain mean to let a child cry in a crib who is feeling pain/discomfort. I like what Dr. Sears has to say about "nighttime parenting"-it's a good reminder to me when I'm having a middle-of-the-night breakdown. http://www.askdrsears.com/HTML/7/T070200.ASP
Among other things, he reminds us that our parenting responsbilities don't end at night, and that our kids need us regardless of the time. Anyway, I mostly just wanted to write to tell you that you're not alone in this craziness :). Best wishes!

Have you tried orajel for the teething pain? You could try giving her some tylenol or motrin to see if that helps stop the teething pain well enough for her to sleep. I think at 4 months they are too young to manipulate you.

Just FYI a four month old cannot manipulate a parent. They need you for love, support, nurishment, and protection. They are not able to think in ways of manipulation. This saddens me that your husband even thinks this way. Maybe something you are eating if you are breastfeeding is bothering her or maybe she is teething or going through a growth spurt. As hard as it is it will pass.

Hi there,
A four month old is too young to manipulate. In fact, children really don't consciously understand manipulation for years. You are right to trust your instincts - she may be having trouble with her teeth or something else might be wrong. I would suggest waiting until she is completely healed from her cold before beginning any training.
N.