Help with a 5Th Grader That Has a Ton of Missing Work

Have you had him tested to see if he has a learning disability? How are his state testing scores? My daughter was smart enough where she didn't start having problems until the 5th grade. Come to find out she had a learning disability and was ADD. Good luck.

Hi F.
When I was in grade school I couldn't read very well, even in fifth grade. I could protect myself better and could build bigger walls. The teachers just passed by me, just like that.
Find out if he can read and write, and what level he's at. Let him read books he likes to you. Take a trip to the book store and let him by any book he wants. Getting him to read is the first step.. I hope this was helpful.

My Mom (I'm the same way) gave me a homework "fort" and had a fun yummy snack waiting for me in there every day. No distractions, and some reward immediatelly. Just keep plugging away. Are his grades bad? some kids dont need the extra learning of homewwork.

Homework seems to only be fun when it's given in kindergarten and it's still a novelty. Perhaps your brother feels so overwhelmed and stressed at the idea of making up his assignments and it's become a burden that's over his head. Maybe you can sit him down with his list of missing assignments and have him focus on one at a time then reward him when that one assignment has been completed and let him check it off the list. Also, sometimes setting a kitchen timer for a certain length of time helps. For instance, setting it for 20 mins. and let him work undistracted for that time and when the timer goes off, give him a 5 minute break and reset the timer for 20 min. again. Keep this pattern until his assignment is done. Continue this until the whole list has been checked off. Good luck! Been There Done That!

Here are some things that worked for me and my son - maybe one or more of them will help you and your brother :)

First, have your son write down his homework in a spiral notebook. Then, have him show the homework list to his teacher after class and the teacher will initial it to show you that your son has written everything down correctly. Now, find something your son really enjoys! Next, take his homework and divide it up, so he isn't overwhelmed by the amount of homework. You can then work with him to determine how much he should complete before getting a break - the break is for a specified amount of time to do the thing he really enjoys. Boys do not always sit well for long periods of time – they like to get up and let out their energy. I found the frequent breaks helped out a lot.

When it came to tests, we would go in the backyard to play catch. Each time I threw the ball to him, I'd ask him a question about something that would be on his test. Each time he threw the ball back to me, he would have to tell me the answer.

When it came to memorizing things, I would make that into a game, as well. I remember when he was learning the names of the states, we would make a funny sentence with the first letter of the various states. The sillier the sentence, the better he would remember it! Good luck…

Hi F.,

Maybe he has a friend who can come over and do homework at the same time? My son is now a senior in high school and had this problem later than your son, 8th-11th grade. He now has a girlfriend who has really helped him stay on track. I am not suggesting a girl friend, just a friend who can be there with him to talk problems over with and make it more interesting.

Good luck.

C.

Hi-

5th graders are old enough to be using a homework planner. Our public school starts the kids using them in 4th grade. The cost is very minimal, only $3 per student. All students get one, regardless if they can afford it. The teacher checks that each student has written down all the assignments before they leave (there is a large version on the wall in the classroom for the teacher to write on each day) and the parent or guardian has to sign that the child has completed all the homework each night.

In 5th grade, the teacher only requires parent signatures for the first 2 weeks and then reinstitutes checking if there's an issue (large amounts of missing homework). By 6th grade, you're "on your own" in terms of writing things down. The teacher still writes on the board, but you're responsible to get it into your planner.

By the time they're in Junior High and changing classes they're able to be responsible for themselves completely (for us, 7th and 8th). The principal walks the corriders with golden dollars in his pocket and randomly asks kids if he can see their organizer (again supplied by the school for a minimal donation cost). If it's up to date, the child gets a golden dollar from the principal. I'm not sure how much that affects the JH kids, but I digress.

I'd suggest setting up a homework planner with him and a reward system for writing things down and completing them. They're easy to find during Back to School Sales, but you can find them online now yet.

Also, check with the teacher if they use or would be willing to start using one of the free online homework posting sites. Many public schools use www.schoolnotes.com to post homework assignments for the kids.

Hi F.,

I'm a mom and I'm having the same issue with my son who is in 7th grade. If you find out anything, will you share the tips that other parents provided. I suppose that the challenge we face is getting them motivated generally about school. Thanks!

hi F., i worked in elementary schools for years and its very common that homework assignments are "lost". a good way to insure it doesn't get lost is to ask the teacher to step up and hand it to whomever picks up your brother. Also you could ask him for it as soon as he gets home, if he doesn't have it then no video games or tv. that way he'll be encouraged not to lose the assignments. also homework can be fun spending time with your family and even incentives work, like a week of completed homework means a trip to the movies or video store. maybe after a month of doing his assignments you could make him his favorite food.
good luck

Hi F.,
We have been dealing with this same issue with my 6th grade grandson and finally found a plan that is working. Most schools now have on-line access to homework and other school information, so his Mom now checks the teacher's web site for homework info. You could also ask the teacher to provide a list of the assignments each week. Both of our grandchildren are given a list of the homework requirements for the week each Monday. They are in 4th and 6th grades in San Jose Unified and Campbell Union school districts, so it is safe to say many schools operate in the same manner. Their Mom requires that the homework be done at the dining room table, not in their rooms, so she can keep an eye on them. Also, since she knows what the homework list is, and is in regular communication with teachers, it becomes a matter of looking at the finished product to comfirm its completion. The 6th grader spends about 1 hour on homework and usually can complete more than just 1 day's worth per session. By Thursday night all his homework has been completed and it becomes a matter of review for Friday. Every night drew an argument from him until recently when we decided as a family to "bribe" him to do the work. This boy now sits down every evening, and without hassle, takes care of business. I never believed in paying for grades and homework, but I now know many people who do, and it's working for us too. Between Grandpa, me and his parents, our Grandson will be paid about $20 per A (we're not paying for anything less). We've told him he can keep 1/2 to spend, the other 1/2 must go into a savings account for later. Needless to say, his grades are picking up too. My hairdresser pays her children $10 per A and I know others that do as well. You might also consider asking the teacher if he/she offers after school homework coaching in the event your brother is having difficulty understanding the assignments and curriculum. We have done all these things and it does pay off.
It is also important to make sure there are no vision or learning issues. Have his eyes tested. Does he sit at the back or front of the room? If he sits at the back, request that he be moved toward the front, and closer to the blackboard and see if that helps. This was an issue for me at that age, and it turned out I needed vision corection. Once I had glasses, my trouble with school and homework dissolved. The schools are required to test for learning disabilities if any are suspected. There are also special programs for children diagnosed with learning disabilities. The fact of the matter is, that most 5th-6th grade boys don't like doing homework. Chaces are, your brother falls into that category.
I hope these suggestions help you. It is so important to get a good education, but many children don't see the bigger picture.
Good Luck, L.

Well you know...if he doesn't do his work he wont get to graduate from 5th grade (and he shouldn't because he must acquire this skill before moving on to 6th or he'll really be in trouble).

I know that's not what you are asking though so I think the best thing you can do for him is not let him make you all miserable.

Break it down and give him one assignment at a time. Tell him he can have a snack as soon as he is done with that one assignment. Then leave him alone to do his work. Make sure it is a small assignment that should only take a few minutes, though. Once he finishes tell him how great he did and give him his snack. Then ask him if he needs to use that bathroom and then give him another assignment-maybe one that's a little bit longer or takes more concentration.

If he is anything like my 5th grader, he will procrastinate and have 10 million reasons why he can't do his homework yet (have to use the bathroom, need water, hungry, tired, blah blah blah).

If he needs help make sure he asks you specific questions about the homework, like what the directions are asking him to do. Explain how to do it and then leave him again. Keep it positive and calm. Don't get frustrated if he isn't making progress. Don't sit and do it with him. He has GOT to do it himself. If he can't do it he will really have a difficult time in 6th grade.

Another thing, don't let him stay up late to do homework. If he isn't finished by about an hour before his bedtime send him to bed early and explain to him that he has to get up early to finish. Tell him he's not in trouble but that it is scientifically proven that his brain is more alert and capable of doing homework early in the morning than it is in the evening.

He should also get started as soon as he gets home from school. Don't let him go off and play for awhile or anything like that (you know, to "unwind" from a long day at school). You don't want him getting out of school mode and then trying to get him back into that mind-set all over again. He is not being punished but he is learning that every action has a consequence and by him choosing not to do his homework when it was assigned, he caused this unpleasant situation of having even MORE work to do every day.

Some other thoughts: pull him out of sports and other extra-curricular activities. Make sure you tell him that this is not a punishment but that education will always be more important than these activities. You may also want to talk to the teacher about any tutoring they may have available through the school. Hopefully you can get him on track before the end of the year so he can be obtain the skills necessary to be successful next year when homework really starts pouring in (and it gets much more complicated as well!).

Best Wishes!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Talk to his teacher about reducing the amount of homework he is required to do. My 5th grader was only required to do every third math problem as long as she was doing well on tests and such. Some teachers will resist this but most should be more than happy to help find ways for children to succeed and especially to keep a positive attitude about school in general. If the teacher isn't helpful, talk to the principal about your educational concerns and ask if it is possible for him to have a specialized homework plan of some sort. Teachers are always more helpful when principals are involved.

Your brother is a creative amazing kid and school is a mind sqashing, eat the info and regurgitate it back format. Ask him if he wants to do something more creative instead of the standard wasting time, repetitive, put you to sleep busywork that is given to kids.

School just about killed my son with their negative input to him to daily bring him down. Ask your brother if one teacher said one thing "positive or life affirming to him" today.
Ever teacher since fourth grade told me "Your son will not graduate high-school. He is not trying. It is his fault, It is your fault." Guess what? I finally listened to my son and put him in "Independent Study" and he graduated high school and is in College now. My son was not a trouble maker, he just could not focus on their uninspiring teaching methods re-inforced with negative finger pointing.
See what alternative school are in your area, look into independent study. Don't tell your brother he is stupid or is not trying. He is smarter than school and is not a cookie cutter kid.
The school system was built after the Prussian military model which made children followers not independent thinkers. Schools were built to mimic factories to get children used to boring mind numbing jobs that would be their future, even to the ringing of the bell to change classes. A few things have advanced but not enough.
GOOD LUCK

Hi

I have a 5th grader also, taking away his privileges is a good way but, maybe giving him rewards might work also. such as if he gets so much work done in a amount given time and it is done correctly he will get to go to this place or he will get to get a new game or whatever your parents think is appropriate.

Good luck and hope he does better.

Your 5th grade brother is probably feeling overwhelmed. Right now you may want to focus on the positive. You might consider making the situation positive by starting with a clean slate, with a contract that he will comply with, a plan of action that he participates in making:

I. Look at the list of homework and break it up into sections. There are many different approaches to doing this. Choose which works best for the student as well as the care-givers.
A. By the due date
B. By the subject matter
C. By difficulty & interest
D. By estimated amount of time to do each assignment
E. By whether the assignment requires tutoring, adult help, or can be done independently
II. Look at a monthly calendar and make a specifiic appointment – day and time – for each assignment, taking into consideration I. E. and your availability.
III. Also take into consideration the current Homework assignment load.
IV. Ask the teacher for the school district policy on homework. Usually school district will have a required number of hours of homework per grade level.
V. Discuss with your student options such as, splitting the make-up homework into 5 days a week or entire Saturdays. Allow for free time to prevent the overwhelming feeling of “why try?” and/or burnout.
VI. Let your student know that you will check each assignment for accuracy, neatness, completion, and accountability – not for punishment AND FOLLOW THROUGH!!!!
VII. Natural consequences work best – check with the teacher – what are the consequences of the assignments not being turned in? Summer school? If the school does not have a consequence that strikes a cord, consider a local tutoring company that you can send your student to for the summer. What are the consequences if homework is kept up and missing assignments are turned in? What kind of fun activities are available to your student?
VIII. Keep emotion out of set backs. Simply state that he is committing a breech of contract which speaks to his trustworthiness etc and that the ultimate consequence – positive or negative – is entirely his choice.
IX. Have something fun to mark the completion of each assignment – have each assignment on a separate piece of paper that your student can crumble or cut up or throw into the fire place OR have a long list that he can scribble off – hard - OR ???
X. Praise each completion without “I told you so’s” or “if you had kept up to begin with” - let your student realize this for himself – it will be much more valuable!

Hi F.,
It's really important to make sure that there isn't a problem that has gone unidentified with his vision. My daughter has one good eye and one that is very far sighted, and the school tests only for near sightedness! Her eyes were constantly re-focusing when she tried to read, which was very tireing. It took a real eye doctor to figure out what the problem was and to get her some glasses.
Although it is appropriate to punish a child when they do not do their homework, it might help if you come up with a reward system for when he does well. Try to think of small rewards for small accomplishments and a big reward for when he is all caught up.
Good luck!

Figure out what little brother likes the best (within reason) and that will be his reward for making progress on the homework. Like 1 hour homework earns 15 or 30 minutes play. Or a break and a great snack. Makes sure he understands the homework and what he needs to do, sit with him and help or have him explain it to you when you can. Be consistent with not allowing TV, phone calls or video games unless homework is done, and check his homework (don't take his word for it). Stay in touch with the teacher and ask him/her questions if you don't understand. Give homework a special priority in the family activities. We had "homework time" after dinner on the cleared dinner table, everyone brought their work or book or crossword puzzle to the table and quiet was enforced, but it was a group thing and afterward a group bedtime snack or treat. Enforce bedtime so he gets plenty of rest. Good luck!
- F., mother of 3, grandma of 2

I was about the same in 6th grade. Suddenly I didn't do homework, didn't turn in assignments and was falling behind. i think it was because I was lazy as there was no real good reason otherwise. After recieving progress reports from the teacher showing all of the missing assignments, my mom arranged for me to stay after school when my teacher was normally grading papers or catching up on stuff herself and I would stay and get as much of my work done as possible. I think my teacher felt bad sometimes because she and the student teacher would distract me sometimes and try to make it fun. But I think that's what saved me from falling behind too much. If there's not a bigger problem that is causing your son to behave this way, he might benefit from the same 'punishment' that I did.

You got some great advice.

I think you should ask him what would help him do his homework.

For me, I have a hard time doing anything without music on. There's music in stores, at the mall, in the car, and I have it on literally 24/7 at home. The only time there isn't music is in the classroom but people are talking or the instructor is talking, but when it comes to taking tests or quiet reading time I am always aware of the great absence of music. I find myself sometimes humming when I am reading, though during tests and quiet reading in the classroom that's not really an option.

Anyway, I find music helps me, but not any music. For example, metal, rap, rock, and some classical music don't help me think. Such things make me want to do other things, like move. Mozart can be helpful in the background (as long as it's not the big booming sort) and if he hates Mozart, you can try some electronica. No joke. I have a playlist in iTunes of electronica that works really well for me. Some bands include The Dining Rooms, Starseeds, some Moby, Biosphere, Beef Terminal, Omnimotion, Four Tet, etc. I have such on in the background and I'm good to go.

Is there a reason he doesn't want to do homework? Maybe he is having trouble reading. My daughter was having a hard time in 1st grade and it turned out she couldn't see, so she needed glasses. Maybe your Mom should take him to the doctor to rule out other reasons other than just not wanting to do it. You are a nice brother to want to help.
Good Luck.

My son is in 6th grade and school work is not at the top of his list of things he likes to do. Does your bothers teacher use an agenda. I find this very helpful. All the students (in my son's class) have an agenda and write their assignments down daily. The teacher puts the assignments on the board daily. My son has been doing this since 3rd grade. The first year he used an agenda he lost it, but it has gone better since 3rd grade. As parents we are required to check the agendas daily and sign them off, indicating that the homework has been done. This year my son's teacher has the students using a divided portfolio. The students have to label them by subject and this does help keep better track of papers. I have had the same thing happen with my son telling me he has no homework and then checking the agenda to find out there is work to be done. One other thing that might work, if the teacher is agreeable is email. This is also an effective way to communicate with the teacher. Hope these suggestions are helpful. It is very trying and tiring with a child who is interested in some subjects, but not all. Good luck.

Are there any difficulties with subjecys he is having? My son said similar things and then we discovered he had A.D.D., after being diagnosed and placed on the proper regimin for him he is doing much better with homework.

Hi F.,

My 5th grader is going through the same thing. I homeschool, so the difference is that I know what work is not completed. I know most schools post homework on their website. You could check each night.

I think the things that work most for us are constant reminders of how important it is to move forward in order to do what he wants when he's out of school. We often compare low paying jobs to the career he wants and what he has to accomplish in school to get there. Also, competition is big with kids this age. If they see how their friends are doing, they will want to do better usually. There are always consequences to every action. He doesn't play outside or inside until work is completed. A lot of the time he just wants me around to go through it with him. I sometimes sit with him just as a support, but allow him to think and do the work in his own head. It is amazing how well he does just having someone with him while he's doing the work. Rewards are a must at this age, and money works well with my son. We have a star chart for work completed in a timely manner (one star for each subject finished on time), then he can turn in 5 stars for a ticket, and 5 tickets gives him a choice of playing his DS for an hour, picking the menu for dinner, staying up an hour later than usual, or $1.00 cash. It doesn't seem like much but at the end of a week if all assignments have been finished, he gets an extra dollar added to his allowance and he likes that. Unfortunately, there are times when the consequence has to be failure. If he just won't listen to what I say and gets an F on an assignment, he feels pretty bad about it and then tries hard to make up for it.

Hope it all works out for you. God bless your family.

First off that's wonderful that you're helping your brother. It's good not to put the onus on his teacher to do all the work. It sounds like he's thought he could get away with doing no work. I'm curious what he was doing with his spare time, computers/tv/sports? Anyway, those are all things you can now promise him if and when he completes his work.

First, it might be a good idea to look into why he wasn't doing his work. Did he not understand it? Was he afraid of doing it wrong so just didn't bother? What or are there consequences at school when he doesn't do work? If there were no immediate consequences/rewards maybe he didn't see the need? If he's having a hard time understanding, does his school offer tutoring? Is there free tutoring nearby? Does his teacher say he raises his hand in class during the lessons for clarification? Kids are afraid to ask for help, but ask her if there is time for kids to ask for help during a lesson? Coach him on asking for help -- more kids need to learn this skill and to learn it is ok to do.

Second, let him know you will check in on him on a weekly basis until he starts to rehabilitate himself. Don't ask the teacher to write a note or call you. Just call, email or visit his teacher weekly. Have consequences for less than 4 days of Homework. He can't become perfect overnight ~ too much pressure. Make sure he's doing ALL of it not just spelling (that's an easy HW).

Lastly, tricks to make HW fun. 5th grade is harder. You've got harder math and more writing. Science is hard etc. So, to make it fun. You first need to find out why he's refusing. Is he mad at the family, you, the teacher? Does it seem too much? Maybe she can slash what he has to do for now like instead of 30 math problems he does 20 until he gets the hang of it again. I don't know if his problem is academic or behavior or both entwined. How are things for him in class? Does he have any friends he could do HW with maybe once a week or on the weekend as a reward they go to the park or for ice cream. Maybe if he has three good weeks of HW he gets to go to the movies with whomever he wants.

Do Tic Tac Toe HW. Every time he finishes an assignment (i.e. math, spelling, Social studies, Science, grammar etc.) he gets to do a tic and you do the tac whoever wins the game gets and award he gets to watch tv, ride the block on his scooter, make brownies, you to help clean his room etc. if you get a tac he has to practice his spelling words with you or give you a back massage (for helping him). :-0 or something.
Good luck!

Hi F., What a good friend you are to your brother! Is this the first year that your brother hates school? If so, are there mean kids in class or a difficult teacher? My 4th grade daughter had problems before we discovered she needed glasses. She also loves it when mom or dad help her after school with homework so she feels special. Also, at her school they began an after school homework club with one of the teachers. That has really helped! Write again if you like : ) M.

I told my granddaughter one day that "Mom has a job. Dad has a job and your job is your homework." It is HER job. "We love you and want to see you happy and succeeding and we are willing to help you but you must work at your job."
No music on, No TV in the background and have him sit with someone who has some quiet reading to do of their own and who can help with ideas. It needs to be a quiet time. Good Luck.

One good punishment, which my mother did to me when I was in that grade was, coming to school with me and sitting right next to me in every class until I straightened up! Let me tell you, popularity of having your parents or grandparents "having to sit with you because of lack of work" is NOT good. Trust me..it worked!
Last year when my son was in 5th grade, I did the same thing and it only took 1 day! :)
Good luck!

F.,

I would do a reward system with if he gets his homework done. do something positive with the situation and definately check in with the teacher weekly. Also establishing a routine is really important.

I wonder if he has a learning disability? His school district should be able to test him at no cost to you. Has he always been this way or is this a recent thing? If it is recent, maybe talk to his teacher about his social interaction at school. He could be acting out due to being bullied at school. If that is the case you could look into charter schools in your area (which, being public, are free) - maybe a smaller class size or different style of teaching would help him regain his confidence. My last thought is that he could have fallen in with a bad crowd of kids. My husband did that when he was in middle school and for whatever reason his parents didn't notice. It really affected him all the way through high school. So - if you feel that his friends are not a good influence, do whatever you have to do to get him away from them! Sometimes joining a sports team will help reinforce the ideas of healthy living and self-discipline, so that might be one idea.

I wish you luck, this is a tough situation. Your brother is lucky to have you looking out for his best interests!

Maybe he's avoiding doing his work because he's having trouble understanding it. Sometimes it's hard or scary to ask for help when you need it. When I was his age, I had a teacher who I was afraid to ask for help, and I didn't want anyone to think I was stupid, so I just faked my way through class. After a while, I was so far behind that it was overwhelming and even harder to seek help. I finally mustered the courage to ask some questions, and after that found out there were some basic things I hadn't understood at the beginning, and once we went back and found those trouble areas, I was okay. If your brother is at a point where he feels like it's too late to learn, he may have given up. See if you can find out what's making him avoid the work, it's probably not that he just doesn't want to do it, he may feel like he can't do it, so avoids it.

Hi F.!

I am the mother of a 5th Grader who has seen QUITE a few changes between 4th and 5th grade. My son, however,has always been an excellent student without needing much help from me or anyone else.....that is, until this year. To keep him "on task" has been very difficult, no matter if it's easy, fun or hard work for him.
It's their age, and their body is going through MAJOR private changes, and most of these changes they aren't even in touch with yet.
My advice, is to first meet with his teacher. She is the professional, and if she's taught 5th grade before, then she probably understands these changes.
I would ask her EXACTLY what she does each day, as a routine. Then ask what is expected to be homework each day. Most teachers will have the answers to these questions for you, which will give you the "upper hand" to say, I know you have Social studies, because it's Tuesday...or whatever. If she doesn't have these answers, then tell her that you need answers to these questions. This is the only way to help your brother, and as a professional, she will/should help you through this.
Then, whatever you can do to "help" make it easier for him at home until he establishes his "routine" would be great.
In my situation,I know EXACTLY what's expected of my son in the classroom each day. The way that I help (for example) is to help do the things that I KNOW he already can do for himself. Write "number lines", put things in Alphabetical order, etc... I am helping him NOT to feel "overloaded", and he is coming around....finally! Last night, he finally did EVERYTHING without me at all...just like he used to. AND within a reasonable amount of time!
I don't think there is anything wrong with "bending the rules" and helping our children through a difficult time in their life by simply helping them overcome their "over-reacting but very real" feelings.
Most importantly, try to keep him on a schedule of some kind, with an extra 1/2 hour early to bed. You will find that he will have more engergy to accomplish his day. You know like, same shower time (which we've switched to doing at night now), same snack time, same dinner time, same time to do homework, etc....this hard work will all fall into place, and will help him help himself soon enough. It's important that you and your family do this now, because Middle School is coming, and it's much more difficiult to handle these situations at those ages.
Don't hesitate to help him now, while he's still at an age where you CAN help him. He may act like he doesn't want your help, but he'll come around because he really does want your help...hopefully. Tell him he's very normal to feel this way, but it's important that he overcome this stage in his life to feel "good" and proud of himself. Tell him that you'll help him get through it whatever it takes.
And yes, I agree with ORGANIZATION...that's the key right now because the teacher expects this age to be already organized. You and he can come up with an idea/folder to keep his subjects in. A dayplanner or something that's easy for him to help you see everything, and easy for him to find everything.
Good Luck! I'll be thinking of you!
:o) N.

I am going through the same thing with my 10 year old son who is in the fourth grade. I now communicate with his teacher daily, via email, to check on his behavior and his progress. As for the homework, I asked the teacher to send home everything he's missed (and done incorrectly) and I have him complete it in front of me. He will not get credit for it and he knows it. So now he knows that on top of the homework that he has daily, he has to complete what he did not turn in. It is very time consuming but you need to sit near him and check his progress. To keep him from loafing, I time him. As for his behavior, you are allowed to tell your brother that he is not allowed to argue. Children are blank slates and they only know what we teach them. When my son acts up (and they have the strength and youth not to give up) I give him dictionary duty so that when he has no privileges (no PS2, computer, t.v) he is doing something constructive. I tell him to copy down anywhere from 30 entries to 2 pages, and I time him. He has special notebooks just for this purpose. He has a schedule that I made up for him that tells him how many minutes of playtime he gets for each assignment he completes. It has been working and his teacher can see the difference. (I have also asked his teacher to use this when he misbehaves at school so he does dictionary duty on top of missing recesses). Remember, it is very time consuming, but consider the alternative. The best part is that he is feeling better about himself because he sees that I am proud of him. This is a critical age. They rely on us for guidance and we can't waiver. There is a lot of truth to the saying "Idle hands are the devil's workshop". Children should always have something to do, under our guidance. It is our duty to be strong for them, but to always balance it with affection. One last thing, you need to be physically near them to guide them. Good Luck.

Hi F.,
there is a lot of good advice already given. I think there is a possibility of an underlying condition (add, adhd, learning disability). The actual work may have been too hard for him, and he doesn't know how to do it. He may learn a different way than what the teacher is showing him. Also, you might ask the teacher to help, if she is willing. Or if there is an afterschool program at the school. I work in an afterschool program, and we help with homework, and often times the teachers remain after school and help those that need a little more help. Ask your school's principal if there are any other resources. I know the local library has tutoring too. And maybe the local community center. I hope this helps.
P.

Hi F.!
I'm a mother of 4 and went through that year too with my 2 oldest children. One of the things that I did everyday was check with the teacher on what assignments were given and ask the child to give them to me for review. I would make time at the kitchen table, made myself available for questions and give them a small reward for completion of homework on a weekly basis. I found that my children were more receptive that knowing that I was in contact with the teacher really put them on alert as well. Many teachers find it a bother to them to be checking in daily, but we as parents have to make that responsibility as they as teacher do to be in touch with the parents. My rewards to my children were little things.. like icecream day on Saturday, or a special dinner request for Friday night. On occasion, we would visit the beach or a park. Completely up to you on the reward system. Another big thing in my house now with all 3 kids doing homework, is they have a special quiet place to study, I am made available and the rules include NO T.V, music or friends during homework / study time. Hope this helps you! Good luck!!!

L. D.
San Jose, CA

I agree with the advice that you have been given. You need to find out why he doesn't want to do his homework. Your parents may want to get him tested for a learning difference (reading problem, speech and language problem, etc)by requesting an evaluation by the school district.The test will be given by the school psychologist. A sample letter to start this process can be found on www.php.com under special education. Also, a doctor might want to test him for ADD or other medical problems such as an underactive thyroid.
The games I play with my clients (I am a tutor) are math war, bingo, boggle, hangman. We use 2 dice to review multiplication and division problems. Also, use a timer to see how fast he can finish his homework. Great for timing math review tests also
Also, maybe your parents want to build in a way for him to regain his toys by doing his homework. Your family could make a homework chart for him and check it off everyday when he finishes and he could receive daily rewards to stat with and level them off.

There is something about fifth grade and middle school. I think a lot of kids go through this. Try getting him involved in the process. Make a "homework contract" with him, have him come up with the conditions, so he will be connected to it. Then set some rewards/consequences. It's important not to "punish" him for not fulfilling the contract. He is "earning" the "reward" or the "consequence". It's his choice. Try and get his teacher involved for follow thru and progress reports.

This has worked for both of my kids and I hope it helps with your brother. It's nice to see a sibling taking such an interest. Good Luck

Has your brother been assessed for his reading abilities lately? It could be that one reason for his not wanting to do his homework is that he is having some reading difficulties. Your parents may want to sit down with him privately and personally asses his reading ability (ie, can he read the instructions for the homework) or take him to a reading specialist; if you are in public school, your parents and his teacher can work together to request an assessment, but this process can take months to complete.

Your mom or dad may need to consider "babysitting" him in the afternoons, sitting with him until all his homework is done. From a parent perspective, this is quite difficult for the first few days, but after about a week of sitting there with him my son can now do his homework calling me when he needs help. If he can do his work on his own, but needs the oversight to make sure it gets done, mom and dad can have some "homework" of their own to do while your brother does his (ie, pay bills, put photos in albums, etc.). If you and your brother get along pretty well, maybe you can help mom and dad by sitting with him at the kitchen table while the two of you do your homework together, and when he has questions he can ask you for help.

If mom and dad are both working, they should look into whether daycare offers a homework club and sign him up for that.

I hope you can find a way to help your parents help your brother.

I would try to find out what subject he is struggling with most, and start there. Or maybe, he just needs help organizing his work and his time. Give him 10-15 minutes on an assignment, and then a short break - or a different subject for 15-20 minutes. The forceful effect creates meltdown. The Pacifica School Volunteers gives free workshops for parents periodically on how to help children with homework, reading and math. They work in the Pacifica School District.

Hi There,
How great that you want to help. I think part of what you need to figure out is does he have or is he missing organizational skills? A lot of kids these days are very unorganized and therefore cannot figure out what to do and when.. If thats not the case than maybe he just has gotten in the mode of being lazy and needs some positive redirection. You are awesome for getting involved. Keep up the good work!

Dear F.,
First, may I say I'm impressed that as an older brother you've taken the time to try to find help for your brother's problem.
Secondly, I want you to know this information comes from a retired 5th grade teacher of many years. This is not an uncommon problem among 5th-7th graders as the work load and teaching styles transition from the primary grades.
Your brother's teacher may have already suggested some of these, and should be willing to co-operate with you to try others.

1. Find out if there is an afterschool homework center or homework hotline. If so, use them.
2. When he arrives home, let hime have a snack and 15-30 miniutes to wind down. During this time ask him what his homework for the night is, and ask to see his homework report from his teacher (see #3)
3. Get a written daily report from his teacher. It can be a calendar page. Just have her sign/stamp it if all his homework was complete, and let you know what wasn't complete. If he comes home without it, take him back to school for it before the snack! Ask the teacher if he's making good use of his class time. If not, ask her what steps she's taking to correct this. What are her consequences for unfinished homework? Back her up!
4. Make sure he has a clean quiet table or desk area to work.
5. You were right to remove all playthings from his room, and priveleges. Reinstate them one by one once he begins to show signs of improvement. Don't be afraid to remove them again if you run into opposition.
6. Set a timer for 15 minutes of concentrated work (tell him what you expect him to complete in that time frame), followed by 5-10 minute break---repeat until homework is finished. No work, no break. Give him help where needed, but don't do it for him!
7. 5th graders should have about 1 hour of homework and 15 minutes of pleasure reading each night. The pleasure reading could be done in bed, 15 minutes before lights out. Be sure to set a reasonable bedtime (no later than 9 pm)
6. Give this several weeks. You must be consistant, reward with positive comments when earned, and implement consequences when needed.
7. If the homework load looks too heavy or seems difficult for him, ask the teacher if she can modify it in some way. You say he has a ton of unfinished work. Ask the teacher if you can start with a clean slate or make-up work that she deems important at this time.
8. If you see little results after several weeks, make sure he's had a physical recently with eyes and ears checked out, and ask the teacher for a brainstorm session with school's professionals to see if there are learning disablilities that need to be addressed.

Hope this helps, F.. Remember that you, your parents, the teacher, and your brother must all work together to solve this problem.

N. A.

You could try giving him 10 minutes of fun time stuff he
likes to do for every completed assingnment. That is what
I do with my kids chores.

Hi F.,

For my son, I use a reward system. He needs to finish his daily homework before he can play any electronic games or favorite TV shows.
We have also try point system which he do homework or house work toward a bike that he wanted but make sure the the reward system is obtainable in a timeframe that he can tolerate or else he could give up as unreachable goal.
Hope this helps. Good luck!