Help with Bedtime

Hi B.!
We've talked before... 8 or 9 PM is more then reasonable for bedtime. Take the TV out of his bedroom, & tuck & tape the cords under & around the rest of the TV's he can get to. It's a hassle, but worth it. Maybe you can sleep now too...

I have a 4 yr old in preschool. He goes to bed at 8 pm every night. We read a book, lights out then I lay with him for 5 minutes. He may talk or sing to himself until he falls a sleep but he has never gotten out of bed unless he asks. Consistancy and routine works well, this way he knows what to expect and what is expected.

S.

Hi B.!

I agree... 11 pm does sound awful late for a child that young, especially one going to school. I would say 8 or 9 at the latest, but that's only my opinion. It sounds like you have a tv in his room. If that's true, you might want to take it out of his room. Other than that, I really can't help you because my oldest is 2 and she goes to bed with no problem. I wish you luck though.

A.

Does he have a tv in his room? If so, take it out! My soon to be 5th grader goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 during the school year. When its closer to 9:00 for too many nights it really shows in her personality. Helping our kids get enough sleep and helping them eat wholesome foods should be top priority for our own sake as well as theirs. Does anyone else notice how poor sleep and/or nutrition affect behavior? Anyway, I've found that moving bedtime toward the target in 15 min. increments works pretty easily. Also, NO TV for at least the 1/2 hour before bedtime makes falling (and staying) asleep easier. Good luck!

Please take the TV out of his room. Do it gently though so he doesn't think of it as a punishment. What I did a few years back with my daughter was while she was at school I cleaned and rearranged her bedroom for her and took it then. If you have the space elsewhere like a playroom or something that seems to be a better home for the tv.

My husband was allowed to keep a tv in his room as a child and to this day he can't go to sleep without it on. He has even fallen asleep on the couch and when I wake him he heads straight up and turns the tv on just to fall right back to sleep. And don't turn it off or he wakes up and fusses. He doesn't rest well and neither do I. Just something to think about.

BTY- 8pm is the bedtime here and congratulations on baby #4 Is he here yet?

Totally get rid of the tv! He can't plug it back in if it isn't there.

I have 9 kids in my house their ages are 1, 3, 4, two 5 year olds, 9, 11, 12 and 13. I put the ones 5 and under in bed at 8pm on school days, and the rest to bed at 9pm. During the school year I remove the T.V.'s from their rooms because we had the same problem with our kids and it helped a lot.

OMG!! I thought I was the only one with this problem! My 6 yr old is the SAME WAY!! School here starts 8/21. We started on Monday doing the 9pm bedtime. So far..HA! no luck! He's still up when I go up at 11pm. I've noticed that if I go up to lay down when I put him down, he's more apt to fall asleep. He does sleep in his own bed too!! Once we get back into the routine, he's pretty good about hitting the sheets at the right time. Next week, I'll put him down and start reading to him. That's something he absolutely loves at night is for me to read a book or 2 to him....after a warm bath with lavender body wash!!!

go to the hardware store and buy TV LOCKS! they lock the plug part so your child can not plug the tv in and YOU hold the key...as for the bedtime thing start NOW with a ROUTEIN. this is what we do for my now 5 and 3 yr old.......
7pm - light snack, 730 through 8pm bath time, get jammies on, brush teeth , say night night to Nana (she lives with us) read a book each, tuck in, kisses and hugs. By 8pm, sometimes 815pm they are in bed for the night.....If the child keeps on getting out of bed (this is what my 3 yr old did) you tell them the first time that it is bed time take hand tuck back in bed kisses and hugs....then everytime after you just take the child back (no talking no eye contact) and put to bed (gently) yes you may have to do this over and over and over and over but it WILL work (nanny 911 technique) and yup it worked the first time we did this my son got out of bed for 2 1/2 hours running before he realised we ment business (ok maybe he finaly got wore out)and it took us about 2 weeks before he "got" it but he did...two things ROUTEIN and CONSISTANCY! are the key......

Take all the tv's in the house out to the garage until your child has overcome his addiction to watching it.

L.

I think 8 is a good time my kids go to bed at 8. My oldest will be going into 1st grade as well. He has trouble going to bed sometimes to . He can't go to sleep if it is quite. I let him watch TV when I put him to bed but he has to stay in bed and turn the light out. That usually puts him to sleep right away but sometimes he just can't go to sleep no matter what. I will go in and lay down with him and rub his arm sometimes to get him to relax. I know that is harder to do with a new born and other siblings in the house. I have two children. 6 and 4 and we just lost one. We are trying agian but I know some of theese things other parents don't like . But I say whatver works for your child. I set a timer on the TV and when it goes off it has to stay off. My son however dose watch educational tv at night I keep a close eye on what my children watch and they do stay active durring the day. We go swimming and they have time to run and play they so not watch tv all day long.

Hi B.,

My son Tanner is 5 and going in the 1st grade. Bed time has always been an issue with us. He not only goes to bed late he is up at the crack of dawn. He loves to watch tv at bed time. With school starting we have started school bed time hours.so we have given him a choice. lights are out at 8:30pm
choice If he feels he must have tv time before bed then he must go to bed at 7:30pm. But light are out at 8:30 pm no later. If he can follow these rules and do good every morning when he wakes up he may get a price out of the prize box. But if he gets up and turns the tv on or throws a fit he loses his prize and then I pick a child from my daycare and they get to pick the prize. ( I just went to the dollar store and picked a some silly little toys.) So far so good. I hope it works for you

I'm with the suggestion of definitely taking the t.v. out of his room. The t.v. is a privilege...if he is misbehaving by not listening to the rules, he looses said privilege, end of story. I'm not for making it 'easy' on him...he's six and he totally understands rules and that you are the authority figure...let him know, you can't obey the rule, therefore you lost the t.v. If he can prove to you that he is ready to be able to handle a t.v. in his room by going to sleep at his appointed time...say over a set period of time, then perhaps he can earn his t.v. back.

And yes, I think 8 or 8:30 is reasonable for a six year old. Good luck! :o)

I definitely agree with the other moms that said take the t.v. out of his room, and set a routine. I personally think that kids don't have any business having their own t.v. They do get addicted to it, they watch things that are inappropriate for their age, they miss out on family time, they watch t.v. instead of do their chores and homework (or when they are not supposed to- i.e. instead of sleeping), and they spend less time being active/outside/engaging with others, which can lead to obesity, health, and social issues later. My recommendation is to get rid of the t.v. altogether, or move it to a rec room. When I was a kid, my dad made a lock for the cord of the t.v., and used it to lock us out when we were grounded. It was very effective, and we never dared to mess with it. If you want details on it, just send me a message. I would also start a routine with all of them as soon as possible. Kids thrive on routines, and with four kids, you'll want one to keep your sanity. Try to start the routine at the same time every night- say 7:30, for example. Have them do things in the same order every night so they know what to expect. That way, there isn't any discussion- they put p.j.'s on, they brush teeth, and they know they get one book (or a certain number of minutes to read), and they go to bed at 8 or 8:30 at the latest (the same time every night). Jordan definitely needs a good night's sleep to be able to function in school. If the room is too light with the blinds closed, you can get room darkening curtains- I have them in my room and they work very well (have in JCPenney catalog). Make bedtime special (special time to read with Mommy or Daddy). At first it will be very hard to follow through, especially with a new baby, but it will be very worth it. Every time he gets out of bed, put him back in bed. Eventually he will quit testing you (and if the t.v. isn't there to keep him awake, he'll get bored and go to sleep), and things will get easier. Remember, you are the parent- it's not your job to be their friend, it's your job to raise them the best you can by setting boundaries, enforcing your rules, and still loving them to pieces. They'll all be better off for it later...and will probably thank you. I know I've thanked my parents! =) Good luck, and stay strong! You can do it!

Hi B.!

I also have a six year old girl starting 1st grade this year. Her bedtime during the school year is 8:30-9:00 at the latest. She is a very "energetic" young lady and will think of every last reason to not go to sleep (I'm sure we can all remember pulling the same stunts with our mothers!) I suggest that you cut off his TV time and hour or so before you want him to go to bed and give him a nice bath or shower in that period to help relax him a little, that seems to work pretty well for mine. I also agree with some of the other mothers that you have to be consistent and firm with him every night when it comes to bedtime. I think one of the worst things we can do is allow the kids to plea and bargin with us, go to bed means go to bed and that is that. He needs to remember who is the mommy and who is the little boy. Good luck and hopefully things will get better!

If your child has a TV in his room, any pediatrician will tell you to GET IT OUT NOW! If you have gotten into the habit of letting him watch tv in his room, it will be a hard habit to break, not to mention, if he is trying to plug the TV back in, you could be saving his life too! 8 pm is an awesome bedtime, 8;30 at the latest! Try reading a book for a half hour before he goes to sleep, but do it in his bed, make it routine mom/son time (or dad/son) and it will grow on him. Just, of course, read him books he is interested in. Most schools want this done anyway as a part of daily home reading. Good luck!

We have a rule at our house during the school year...no tv during the week. Hopefully he does not have a tv in his room, if he does, get rid of it.
Same with the computer, it will stimulate him. Stand firm with an 8pm bed time and sit out side his door until he goes to sleep. It will be a pain for about a weeek but worth it in the long run. make sure that he is not taking a nap during the day becuase if he is he might not be tired at night.

B.,
You have to be persistant with the bedtime. 8 p.m. is a good bedtime for a child that old. Make sure that you have blinds in the room to close at bedtime because it is still daylight outside at that time. Be firm --- tell him that if he comes out of the room --- you will take something away for the next day. If he plays games -- take it away the next day. If the T.V. is a problem --- tell him that if he turns it on you will take it out of the room. --- Then if he turns it on --- remove it from the room at that moment.
You might want to start a chart. Call it the Bedtime chart. Tell him that every time he goes to bed on time without a fuss -- he will earn a quarter (or whatever you want to reward him with.) Make sure to praise him when he does go to bed. Tell him that he is so grown up and that he is the older brother and he needs to help you teach the other children. Children love to be grown up and they love to help.
Make sure to only threaten with what you will actually do --- and do it. Be consistant and let him know that you mean what you say --- after all -- you are the parent and it sounds like you have your hands full. You really don't need the added aggrevation.
Good Luck and hope that you find something that works.
C.

Hi B..
I skimmed the other replies and in theory or at least for other families, this all sounds wonderful. I personally have not had this luck. I definatly believe kids need a great nights sleep and I know usually more than adults. I don't disagree with anything anyone else has said.

The thing is that not all kids are programmed the same. My 3 yr old is one that does Not need as much sleep as my son. From the moment she was born she was this way. So much so that we had a lot of testing on her to make sure nothing physical was keeping her from sleeping. To this day I can rarely get her to bed (asleep) before 10pm. Yes, we do start bedtime routine usually at 830 right now.

I guess I am trying to say is consider your child's needs more than just setting a bedtime when it's convenient. Does that make any sense? Also think about yourself...some nights we have more trouble getting to sleep than other nights. Our kids are the same way, so consider this as well. (but yes trying to get a somewhat set routine is best IMO)

The other thing is that if everyone else isn't getting ready for bed at the same time, he is going to want to stay up so he doesn't miss anything. At one point we had to put a lock on his door to keep him in his room for a few nights until he realized we meant "stay in his room". (our kids do not have tv's in their room, just personal preference.)

I hope this helps some. It will all work out! Best wishes with the new baby.

M.

Hi B....

I too have 3 children....My 6 year old and 4 year old go to bed BY 8:30...we give baths at 8, and bed at 8:30...this works out really well and we kept it this way even over summer break. That way they get 10 hours or more which is what they say young children need....

I agree with the others that you have to be persistant and firm. At that age, they should be in bed by 8:00. No screens after 7:00pm. "Screens" are defined as any electronic item that has a screen... TV, PS2, Gameboy etc. My kids are older now, but during schooltime, we still have a bedtime. When they were younger, it started at 7:00 with bath, teethbrushing, saying prayers and one small drink of water. We then read (as a family) while they were tucked in. That was a good time for reading aloud practice. For the reluctant reader, I would read a page, he would read a page. Go to the library and pick out some good books and make a big deal out of the fact that these are just for bedtime reading. Try giving a backrub with Lavender lotion. Very soothing. We put roll shades on the windows to block out more of the evening sun. You can put them up even though you might already have mini-blinds. When they were really little, we put a baby gate at their door. That way, the door could still be open, but they knew that until I took the gate down in the morning, it was still quiet time. Just remember to stick with a plan. It will take several weeks. Ditto the Nanny 911 routine! (You can get that book from the library) Children crave routine and they will (eventually) realize that bedime is at 8:00 and accept that and even look forward to it. Your family will benefit all around, your children will behave better and learn better during the day.
Good luck. Let us know how it works out.

My son has a 8:30 pm bedtime, even if he isn't ready for bed or doesn't want to go to bed, i am the parent and he is the child so he goes to bed. I will let him read or look at books for about a half hour or less and then go in and tuck him in say our night time prayers and he stays in bed until morning. I think you definitely need to take control and make sure he knows that you are his boss and not vice versa, he need to know and learn early that he will not always like your decisions but needs to abide by your rules. Whatever type of punishment you use in your household i believe you need to use it. We have a rule during school that there is no using electronic items during the school week, at all. It keeps the argument over it to a minimum and keeps my son focused on his school work. I hope it all works out for you.

Developing a routine and sticking firmly to it will be your answer. I have two children, ages 9 & 6 1/2. During the school year I have them in bed at 8:00. From 7:00 on it's routine..... showered and in pj's, read aloud with me (I'm a single mom), quiet time - can be writing, drawing, playing with a toy but not anything stimulating: No gameboy, gamecube, tv, radio (unless it's soothing music), small snack, brush teeth, use the bathroom and I tuck them both into bed at 8:00. Lights are out and they are not allowed to watch tv, even though they each have one in their room. My house rule is once om's tucked them into bed they do not get up until the morning. Trust me..........it didn't happen easily but I'm so glad I was able to stick to my plan and it's now a routine. Both kids suffered from night terrors, PTSD and anxiety so for several years the three of us shared a bed. I didn't think the day would come where they'd hop into bed and stay there until morning. Avoid converstation once he's tucked into bed....and be consistent. If you have to remove things from his room do so. Tv, games, books possibly everything except his bed. Just do it in a loving manner and not with anger. He'll need a good nights rest for 1st grade and so will you with your new baby due soon. Congratulations and good luck!
M.

My son is younger but goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. We hardly ever watch TV and if we do only about 20 minutes at a time. Try a physicial activity after dinner-- we usually go outside or take a walk, etc and then head in around 7:30 for a bath. Then story time or maybe we watch part of an Elmo video to wind down.

Does your son have a TV in his room? If so--- take it out.

He may just have too much pent up energy to sleep.

Congrats on your new baby!

I think something between 8-9 is reasonable for a 1st grader...no later than that unless an emergency happens or some major event. Maybe a good deal to cut w him to motivate for cooperation is something like "You go to bed by 9 Sun---Wed night, and we will let you stay up till 10 on Thursday nights if you have a good week in school and follow directions, behave appropriately, etc.

My daugther will be starting 1st grade this fall and her bedtime will be pushed up till 7:30 pm. Right now it is 8:30 for summertime. I suggest you read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Paperback)
by Marc Weissbluth. This book saved my sanity when I had baby number 3 which is now 12 month and I am due with number four in January. After following this book they are all great sleepers but the biggest key is consistentcy. You not bending the rules. I would turn the tv off for good for a week or more, maybe use it as a reward if he does go to bed on time and then only let him watch 1 show. Also, make sure he gets lots of exercise outside. I take my girls swimming everynight after dinner for 30-60 minutes to wear them out and we play hard. Best of luck!

Just be the mom!