Help with Brushing TEETH on 20 Month Old.

Updated on March 16, 2009
J.D. asks from Valley Springs, CA
27 answers

Brushing teeth on my 20 month old girl is a NIGHTMARE. She will open her mouth briefly, then shut it and bite down on the toothbrush. It's a struggle every single time. It has become my most hated time of the morning and evening. I am at my wits end and am afraid that my frustration with her will make her hate brushing her teeth for life. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have tried changing toothpaste, brushing lightly, singing, making up a song to go with it, being firm, having her watch me do it then trying it on her again, and now I am just plain worn out. Anyone else gone through this?

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S.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Let her have a toothbrush to play with. She will play with it and chew on it. It's not the best toothbrushing ever, but it will be something. Then try the brushing again. She may just need to be in "charge" a little.

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Try suger bug hunting. This has evolved into princess and other character searches. As I brush her teeth I am talking like this" Let's see who's hiding today! Is Cinderella in there?? Oh I think I see Snow White. She is always the fastest ,I can't get her!! Got her! Now who are we looking for?" It goes on like this and my daughter is adding in too. She spits each character out as I catch them. We have fun, I hope it would work for you too.

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A.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I remember those days! I know they won't last forever, but one thing that worked for us was to let the child have a toothbrush end use it at the same time. Let her pick one out and it is only for her. You try to brush on the opposite side of her mouth. It's not perfect, but at least there is a brush and her mouth is open!

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L.S.

answers from Salinas on

Hi,

I had one of those brushers as well. She started getting fiesty at about age 1. After much struggle, what did work somewhat was to tell her that Elmo, a ladybug, Barney, what or whomever was in her teeth and I had to get them out! She is now 3 and is only putting up a mild struggle. I still dread brushing her teeth, but you have to win on this one!

Another thing that helped us is taking her to the dentist. When she hears the dentist talking seriously about these things it helps.

Hope you can find something that works. Don't worry too much, she will outgrow it.

Take care. L.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Merced on

My kids are quite a bit older but they make a smaller one, it's called "Tooth Tunes" it's a toothbrush that when you press down on your teeth to scrub it plays music and when you release it stops, it's meant to help your kids brush for a minute, then the music stops. It's really made a difference in my kids teeth. Priced around $5.00 but I found them at the .99 cent store. Good luck.

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

SAHM is Stay At Home Mom. As for teethbrushing, no actual advice, 'cause my 22-month-old would brush her teeth 6 times a day if she could. But here's what we do: We generally brush our little girl's teeth when one of us is going to the bathroom or brushing our own teeth. We brush her teeth for her, then let her do it herself for a little while (till all the toothpaste taste is gone, basically). Generally, she will give the toothbrush back in exchange for a drink of water. She also likes to brush if she's sitting on her potty. When she's brushing herself, we're not worrying yet about teaching technique--if she wants to chew on the toothbrush, so be it. There's time for that later. We use grape Tom's of Maine tooth gel for her, and she seems to like it.

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J.O.

answers from San Francisco on

You might try a Crest Spinbrush or something like that. Anything that hums or vibrates or plays a little tune makes the job a whole lot more fun. Our son had the same problem and we got one of those Sonicare type brushes - he loves it and happily lets us brush his teeth. When we finish brushing them, he gets to have a turn.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear J.,
Try taking turns. Tell her she can brush your teeth once you're done brushing hers. Or vice versa. That worked with both of my children.
...That, and making sure to get rid of the icky "cavity bugs".

Best of luck!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Try letting her brush her teeth first. She will probably just bite on the toothbrush but at least then she is working on it herself. Then go over her teeth again after she is done. This was actually suggested by our dentist because my oldest hated me trying to brush her teeth.
Good luck!!
J.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

I think most kids at that age like to chomp on the toothbrush. We have our daycare children brush teeth after lunch and here's how I do it. First, I get the toothbrush in there and try to brush all around the mouth. I don't worry about getting 'everything' brushed, because at this stage I think the most important thing is to develop the habit. Their teeth are not spaced to hold food very tight and just getting the toothbrush in there and the foamyness of the toothpaste, followed by the rinsing they'll do will likely get most of the stuff out. Once I've brushed what I can, I simply allow the child about a minute of doing their own 'brushing' which varies from the chomping on the brush to some actual attempts to brush the teeth. As with most things we do with teaching our children, I believe staying as calm as possible is essential. (I keep saying that, but believe me, I do know how hard it can be!) We have the cute little paper cups (5 oz. size) that have fishes on them. The kids look forward to rinsing (mostly drinking the water) from those, so it helps make them want to go brush their teeth. You do want to be sure the toothpaste used at this stage is the kind that it won't hurt the child to swallow, and put just a small amount on the brush. The children I'm working with at the stage of needing help with their toothbrushing are currently 18 months and 26 months of age.

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

SAHM means "stay at home mom"

I have the same problem with my 2 yr old and what worked for me is brushing less teeth but more often. After breakfast I brush the top left side. After lunch I brush the top right side. After Dinner I brush the bottom left side. Then before bed I brush the lower right side. I know it may seem weird but each section is getting brushed at least once a day now instead of not at all. I am now able to completely brush the bottom teeth in one sitting and am working towards doing the same on the top. It's a slow process but its working. It really helps to have an electric toothbrush because sometimes you can only get a few passes before they fight you and with an electric brush you get more brushng action as opposed to the regular one. I also let my 2 yr old "play" with the electric brush hoping as he's moving it around in there sucking off the toothpaste that its hitting some teeth...lol Make sure the toothpaste you use doesn't have the fluoride in it though. Note: I only allow him to do this while he is strapped into his highchair/booster seat. Not a good idea to let a kid run around the house with something sticking out of their mouth.

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T.S.

answers from Salinas on

I am currently going through the same thing with my 2.5 y.o. boy. Having a 5 y.o. daughter I know that these things do not last. With that young age I would try the finger rubber brush available at all the drugstores and also take her to the store to pick out her own toothbrush. Good luck to you, it is only temporary!!
SAHM is stay at home mom.
T.

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L.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi J.,

First of all, SAHM stands for Stay At Home Mom. You might also see WAHM which I've seen a few times and stands for Work At Home Mom. =)

As far as the brushing teeth... I have a 14 month old who also HATES his teeth being brushed. I too have tried everything and nothing works. Because it is so important this is something that I will not negotiate (sp?). I do what his doctor taught me to do with medication, have him lay down on the floor and you sit on the floor with his head in between your legs and his legs pointing the same direction as your legs. Your legs then go over his arms.... this way you are not squishing their little body but still have a good secure hold on them. The dentist gave me a foam bite block that I use to hold his mouth open while I brush. It's a pain and of course he screams the whole time, but in time he'll learn that this is going to happen and he might as well give in. I talk in a gentle voice and tell him it's okay and give him a big hug afterward. It's better than him going to the dentist for a filling or even worse, a root canal. (Yes, it does happen... I went to school to be an RDA and there are children who need root canals....)
Good Luck.

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S.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

As far as I know, "SAHM" refers to "Stay At Home Mom" - I'm sure I'll be instantly corrected if that is wrong.

Stubborn at brushing teeth eh?

- Remember those days well! Both kids were the same at different stages and I remember the sheer emotional agony of holding them down in the "shot at the pediatrician's office" position many times! At least when they are crying - the mouth is OPEN and you can get in there...but nobody likes to start the day that way or go to bed that way.

We tried singing, coaxing, changing the toothbrush (musical, or battery operated for fun), dancing, brushing together, - you name it we tried it.

What actually worked the best for us, was to give them some control like having them do brush first, as ever they can, and then "Mommy must finish now". A lot of times it's the fact that they are not part of the process and just want some independence or control.

I also let them pick the song to sing while I brushed if I was singing to them at the time. They kept on making "requests" til the job was done.

We also "named the germ". I look to see if I can see "Bert" or whoever they or I name, and then I "chase" him or her trying to squish him or whatever. I almost get him and make noises when I "squish" him (or them!)finally.

I have also vroomed like a motorcycle and squealed while braking like I am racing. This worked well with my son, but my daughter liked it too on occasions.

I have also let them brush my teeth, and then I do them. We take turns or whatever works.

Teeth can still be a challenge, even for my 6 year old who still loves the taste of Toddler toothpaste which we still use for my daughter. So even, after you've mastered it (you think!), they will still throw you a curve ball every once in a while!

Making it fun is the key and staying patient when the process is taking so long, especially when you are trying to get to work or an appointment.

Hope this helps...

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

Let her see you brushing your teeth and get an hourglass so she can see when the sand is all to the bottom the job is done and let her do it herself. She can do it like playing ewith her toothbrush. SAHM IS STAY AT HOME MOM.

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M.K.

answers from Chico on

Have you tried giving her her own toothbrush while you use a different one at the same time? If she is chomping one, then her lips at least aren't clamped shut! We used to lay our kids on our lap (so we were looking down at their forehead on our tummies) and that made it easier to brush faster than when they were standing. They are better about letting us check their teeth when they are done now. Good luck!

P.S. SAHM = Stay at home mom

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N.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a 22 month old who likes to brush her teeth now, but at one point it was quite a struggle. I basically let her brush her teeth. Granted she puts the toothbrush in her mouth and immediately sucks off the toothpaste, but if I let her start off by herself she is more willing to let me help her. Then I help her by holding her hand to help guide the toothbrush, and yes she will open and close and pull away sometimes but we do end up getting her teeth cleaned.Could your daughter be teething? I noticed that when my daughter's molars were coming in, she would not let us touch her mouth. Hope that helps. And be easy on yourself, I don't think she will hate brushing her teeth for life.

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G.R.

answers from Sacramento on

SAHM=S(tay) A(t) H(ome) M(other)
DH (Dear Husband), MIL (mother in law)

The abbreviations take a little getting used to. ;-)

I have a friend who is a pediatric dentist. She told me that as long as I am not putting my little one to bed with juice or milk bottles, that I shouldn't worry too much about whether or not the baby brushes, mostly because it is very difficult, if not impossible until they are older. At this age, it is more important for them to get used to the idea of brushing than to actually brush. She says that they won't really be able to do it until around 3.

I'm not always serene about it (thinking about cavities) and sometimes try to brush his teeth properly. I try to make it into a game, making funny open mouth faces. He doesn't hate it, but I'm not sure it is very effective. Most of the time, I brush my teeth and give my little one a toothbrush at the same time to play with.

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D.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I sing this little song we learned at a parent/toddler class. It's sung at mealtimes while we all wait for everyone to sit down. You may have heard it:

Open shut them, open shut them
give a little clap, clap, clap
open shut them, open shut them
put them in your lap
creep them, creep them
slowly creep them
right up to your chin,
open up your mouth so wide (he does)
but never let them in (his finger/food)

I sing parts of it after his bath and he loves the part "open up your mouth so wide" and he opens wide!! And I get the toothbrush in. I also put just a tiny bit of toothpaste on and re-apply a few times to keep re-entering to get all the teeth. I use mint and a strawberry and let him choose. He's also 20 months old.

SAHM means Stay At Home Mom
Good Luck,
D.

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T.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

I don't know if it's because he's a boy but my "battle royal" ended as soon as Finn figured out that spitting was part of brushing teeth. Seriously. We went from pinning him down to brush his teeth (sorry, no rotten teeth on my kid) to him running in, all excited yelling "TEETH, TEETH!" when he sees that I'm brushing mine.

He sits on the toilet (lid down) and mimics what I do while brushing my teeth. Then I say, "OK, lets rinse" and pick him up, have him spit, "rinse" his teeth for him with the toothbrush, "rinse" his tongue (he loves it and his breath is SO MUCH better), spit some more, take a drink, spit it out and we are done. No spitting of milk or water at the table has occurred. Yet.

Good luck!
T.

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D.T.

answers from San Francisco on

SAHM = Stay At Home Mom

Good luck with the teethbrushing!!! I'm at a loss for advice. Sorry!

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

My advice is, "Don't force it." At this age you should just be introducing the idea. We used 3 different tooth brushes. Let her bite down if she wants. Do my turn your turn (she takes a turn brushing her teeth, then you take a turn). We didn't brush teeth every day, because often when daddy gave a bath, he forgot. When he turned three, I took him with me to the dentist's office to observe my teeth cleaning (suggested by my dentist). He sat in a chair and watched me. If he behaved, he would get to sit in the chair. He saw everything that happened, got to do the controlers for "mr. thirsty" and then he sat in the chair. It worked beautifully. I was told his teeth looked good. At the end he got a new tooth brush too and then was told to let mommy brush his teeth every night before bed. Worked like a charm.

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B.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Our kids get a vitamin after brushing. Maybe if you give her a reward, she will be more likely to brush. Also, I usually go back over my daughter's teeth, telling her I'm looking for monkeys, and getting the monkeys out. She thinks it's funny and lets me check.

Also, SAHM means Stay At Home Mom

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L.W.

answers from Stockton on

Oh J., I sure feel your frustration. I remember when Cody was learning to brush his teeth/gums LOL - that it wasn't the taste of the toothpaste, as he loved it -it was the "chore" of doing it and NOT playing. I do recall trying so many things, but what stands out the most and it works really well now to keep his attention focused on the tasks at hand (brushing, making his bed or any other chore) is to remove something that he REALLY loves...i.e. favorite cartoon, favorite toy. I did just ask Cody his opinion (lol - thought it would be fun to get his perspective) and he suggested playing her favorite music. Yes, Mom's sing, but it may be different then her favorite "teeth brushing" music.

Also, SAHM = Stay At Home Mom.

Much luck J., as it gets better as you may well already know with your 11 year old.

L.

I would like to mention that Cody was older when we became more strict about brushing. When he was smaller, the finger toothbrush worked well for him and it took only a moment.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Get a new electric toothbrush - a real adult one. Let her stick it in there and don't bug her about how she does it for a while. At tooth brushing time, let her do it her wya. Then after a day or two or more, have her brush her teeth and then your turn to brush her teeth. Your turn will be very short and it wont be a real attempt to brush her teeth properly. Make it successful. Make her feel good about it. Then just increase your time and quality slowly, and don't battle. The reason to get a real electric toothbrush is that once you do start to hit the right areas it will get more brushing in for the short time it's there. Also, they're way better than the kiddie electric ones and better than regular ones which can hit sensitive places in the mouth when we're forcing it in there. I battled with my son for a long time and it was no fun!

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B.V.

answers from Stockton on

I have the same problem with my 19 mo. daughter. Our dentist sugested using Spiffies Tooth Wipes. They contain Xylitol which has been shown to prevent cavities and even stop or reverse tooth decay. There is also evidence that xylitol is effective in preventing or reducing ear and sinus infections. They are designed for you to wrap one around your finger then wipe/scrub the teeth and gums. My daughter fights having us stick our finger in her mouth, but she will chew on the wipe like gum and rub it around her mouth herself. I feel like it's a good alternative to brushing during this time. We give her one to chew on after each meal, then we always follow up the wipe by giving her a toothbrush and encouraging her to use it, which she trys but not very effectively. I figure she'll pick it up as she gets a little older, and until then the wipes have been working. I initially got them at Longs but ended up ordering them online. Here's the website:
http://www.drraysproducts.com/xylitol.html

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M.L.

answers from Redding on

I try and plan something fun for my son after brushing his teeth. For example at night story time is after teeth time but if he makes brushing teeth difficult then I tell him I am sorry but struggling with him to brush wore me out and I don't have the energy to read to him. He then has to go directly to bed.
In the morning he may get to use my computer or play Candyland or cards if we can quickly get his teeth brushed.
During difficult moments just remember it is a phase and this too shall pass.

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