My son is just getting over a virus where he was running a pretty high (103.5F) fever off and on for over 4 days. Usually when he is sick, he is quite the trooper and just sleeps more than usual, but with this fever, (as would be expected) he had a very hard time sleeping and many times would only fall asleep on me or with me.
Now that he is well, we are having some serious separation anxiety issues though. He is having fits when I try and put him in his bed--not just fussing, but full on fits. "No Momma No!" and gets more worked up than I've ever seen him. Over the past few days, I've finally gotten him to lay down OK, and it looks like he's sleeping but as soon as I leave the room, he starts screaming again. At bedtime and nap time, I've let him cry it out, and it's getting better (down to 15 min as of last night) but he is still waking up around 1am inconsolable. I tried to let him cry it out, butt after 45 min had to do in there to calm him down and ended up taking him into the guest bedroom to sleep with me. Last night it happened again and again I tried letting him cry it out--but again after 45 min i had to go in there. This time I ended up sleeping on the floor to get him to go to sleep (which is better than him sleeping with me, bu still not so comfortable). If I tried to sneak away, he would wake up and start screaming for me again.
He has been going to pre-school now for over a year and loves it, but today, his first day back....he started crying again as he saw us leave.
My question is--has anyone else experienced this after an illness? Before he would take naps and go to bed with no problems at all and hasn't cried to be left in school since his first week.
Am I on the right path? Will this go away soon? Any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated.
My son was like that after he was sick once. I don't what triggers them to act like that after being sick. Anyway I just kept reassuring him that I loved him and that I would come back and get him. After about a two weeks he was ok.
K.,
I've been here before too. The best advice I can give is what I did to get him to sleep by himself the first time and start over again (the good news is that it doesn't take nearly as long). When my son was younger (he's 2 1/2 now/3 in November) he wanted me to stay with him/rock him/lay with him/etc until he fell asleep.
Get him to lay in his bed. Move closer to the door when it feels appropriate (each night, every 15 minutes). Once at the door sit in the doorway, then just outside the door, then start slowly closing the door in the same manner you were moving out the door - slow and a little more every so often.
Have patience - It's easy to think about all the things we moms still have left to do after they go to bed and how we would love to be relaxing in our own bed or on the sofa - I just try to remind myself that too soon he won't want me there anymore.
I've delt with the same thing after my boys were sick. They get so much special attention and loving care, rules bent etc... that they seem to want that to continue after the illness is over. The only thing that I found worked with my boys had always been to just go back to the regular routine as soon as you can. He was sick and scared and as always you were there for him. Now you have to keep being there for him by teaching him that you can't always be there with him. He'll be okay. He just needs to know that his boundaries are still in place and you will always be there when he needs you, but maybe not always when he wants you. I hope he calms down soon and lets you sleep at night.
