Help with Potty Trained 3.5 Yo Girl That Suddenly Is Having "Accidents"

Stress does funny things to bladders, and a uti is also worth checking out. Because poop is part of the problem, there's also a possibility that she's constipated, possibly even has an issue with encopresis (google this) where she can't feel a need to poop, but some stool pushes past the blockage and accidental soiling results. This could also push on her bladder, and make accidents harder to avoid.

I think your instincts are sound about the changes and the control issues being contributing factors.

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Hi Annie, changes in schedule, security being rocked, things of this nature will sometimes cause children to regress. One thing moms need to recognize with potty training is the difference between an accident and no effort being applied, an accident is when a child made every effort to get to the potty on time and didn't make it. When a child pees/poops on themselves with no effort to even get to the potty, that's not an accident, and that has to be dealth with. She's leaking when she laughs cause she is trying to hold it. if she is hiding she knows what she is doing is wrong, You can discipline and correct her without showing anger, but if there is no consequence for this, there is really no reason for her to change it. So tell her, if you have a good week and you stay dry we will do this or do that, you chose the reward, but let her also know if you don't use the potty you will be disciplined. Defeated only happen when we give up, and allow our children to have control they are not meant to have.J.

Find her currency and use it. Lol. I had the same issue with my now Miss 4 nearly five. I put up with it for 1.5years giving her the benefit of the doubt about perhaps being constipated, or any little excuse. I finally got sick of it after she went for a week without soiling herself so she could get a carebear. The next day, she soiled herself again. This time i said to her, I know your game, i know you can go a whole week without soiling yourself when it suits you. So from now on, if you do...I will ban you from watching TV for the day. 1 hour later she soiled herself. I banned TV amid huge protests. Two days, no poos, then soil again. Once again, no TV. She has gone three weeks now, with only one genuine accident....She had been playing me for years

Because she leaks when laughing and she's embarrassed, I'd say take her and have her checked for a UTI.

This is pretty normal behavior for a 3 year old. Changes in routine can cause them to have accidents. My son did the same thing. We stopped it using a Positive Behavior chart. We made a big calendar and for every day he didn't have an accident, he got a sticker. After 10 stickers (it didn't have to be 10 days in a row) he got a special present or treat. We did this for about 2 months and it stopped the behavior. We left the chart up as a reminder for a few more months. Then that was it... However, you should also rule out any type of yeast or bladder infection. Some girls can get these very easily (my niece did) so maybe check her out with the doctor too just in case.

Good luck! Hope this helps!

I would look for a medical reason. I worked with a lady for years while she was going thru some similar things with her daughter. Thinking her potty problems were a result of moving to a new school and their divorce she just tried to use the regular potty training techniques. After about a year the daughter was complaining of hurting down there. Off to the doc they went. It was a UTI but they couldn't seem to get rid of it. She was then sent to a specialist only to find out that there was a physical reason for the potty trouble and it could be fixed.
I also have 4 step kids. All but one of them wet the bed at night until they were in their early teens. The oldest had the problem and his brother 13 months apart didn't. That only made it worse because the older son was punished, not allowed to have anything to drink after 5:00, made to change his own sheets and on and on.....By the time their 3rd was potty trained he was doing the same thing. He wore pull ups to bed until he was 11. The 4th child had it too. They did learn that there was a physical reason for it and they would grow out of it. We dismiss a lot of things as emotional response when there could be something else going on.

Wow! And OMG.... that's deja vu.....the exact same thing is happening to my 3.5yrr old - he's been out of diapers for almost 2 yrs now but suddenly has been peeing and pooping in his underwear. I am at my wits end but trying hard to not react to this in front of him. He's been pretty constipated for the last 10 days...he goes 2-3 days without pooping, then poops and has accidents. I will check out encopresis as one mom suggested below. I even called his doc who suggested giving him miralax saying that being genuinely constipated can cause leaks and accidents. Don't know if he's holding poop back due to some other issues or if he's truly constipated. But apart from the poop accidents, he even pees in his clothes...this doesn't seem like accident to me - he just doesn't go to the bathroom. We have tried rewards, polite talk, big boy conversation, understanding-your-body conversation, even shaming him into going but nothing has worked long term! Sigh! I know I am not being helpful here but just wanted to tell u, that u r not alone and thanks for posting this. I am getting some good info from all the responses...

Talk to your dr. Maybe she is having a medical problem good luck A. no hills

So weird I was just about to post an accident question myself. My step daughter is a 4 year old and hasn't had an accident in over 8 months and today she wet her pants while she was IN THE BATHROOM! She usually spends several nights a week with us and last week she spent the whole week with her grandparents. She has been a different child this week and not in a good way. I think that any change in structure must confuse them. I didn't punish her for it but I did punish her for lying to me and hiding the wet pants. I also calmly explained that she is too big to be wetting her pants and that if she couldn't pee on the potty that she would loose her "big girl panties" and go back in diapers.

Something emotional is probably going on. My daughter just starting having accidents and holding poop after months of being done too! I think we are getting back on track, slowly, but something is obviously off emotionally.

My plan is to just shower her with kisses and encouragement, and try to not make a big deal out of accidents at all. I did bribe her with fruit snacks today to get her to poop for me --we were on day 3 of no pooping! We shall see how things are tomorrow.

Have you tried talking to her about it? Asking her if she just isn't feeling the pressure, etc. I had a long talk with my daughter about poop today, and afterward she was willing to try to go. I think talking to them about their bodies and what is going on always helps. Also, something developmental could be going on, so she just is too distracted, or whatever, and isn't catching it in time.