Help with Potty Training 3 Year Old

My son was the worst. He is 29 mos old and is almost completely potty trained. The exception being poop. He will actually hand me a diaper and tell me when he needs to poop.He will not sit on the potty.

He refuses screaming too big mommy too big! I have the insert in the toilet and he is still fearful.

I made a game out of standing and peeing. I said let's pee like daddy and I would dance around all silly. Once he did it he has gone that way ever since.

So my advice is to try and make him stand and pee. Plus I did bribe him with money at first and made a money jar that I would drop coins in every time he peed and we went shopping.

Good luck, G.
Oh Please let me know if anyone tells you a way to make him sit because I'd love to get the poop thing handled too.

I also had a stubborn little boy who refused to be potty trained. After trying every trick in the book we finally gave up. One day when he was about 3 1/2 years old he woke up took off his diaper and put on undies and NEVER had an accident or anything. My mother in law told me his father was the same way. He just needed to decide to do it on his own. He was also the same way about his pacifier. Sometimes they just want to make their own decision. When we were trying to potty train we had bought him pull ups and that seemed to help him realize what he needed to do but in the end he did it all on his own.

Good Luck!

I used bribery and necessity. My son was about 2 1/2 and I put him in the cloth padded underwear. Then I decided to focus on a specific week where I would channel my energy to this. Then I gave him one sheet of paper that read sticker chart, we put it up on the bathroom wall. We went to his favorite store and he got to pick out one thing that he really, really wanted. I didn't buy it that day but I explained to him that everytime he tried to go potty even if it wasn't productive I would give him one sticker for his chart, then when the chart was all the way full we would go to the store together (how exciting right) and but his special toy (my son wanted a ladybug umbrella). My son could have cared less about getting a sticker, but the ladybug umbrella that was a motivator! I kept hold of the stickers and everytime he TRIED he got one. Before the chart was full he was potty trained, but we filled it up anyway and as promised got his fancy umbrella(best $12 I ever spent).
Hints
use small stickers

keep a picture of the reward near chart if possible

let friends know to help build his excitement and pride

don't buy other toys during this time or he may forget about his goal

Now the necessity part, I gave him tons of things to drink that he liked so he had to go alot, I even gave him extra salty snacks to make him want to drink more (for example normally we drank water & watered down juice but during this time he got powerade and juice boxes and chocolate milk and even sodas) He did not know why he was getting all these special snacks. Professionals say that that it only takes about 72hours to make or break a habit I don't think any of them ever had a stubborn 3 year old but it is a hopeful idea. I hope this works as well for you as it did for me. Just stay with it, don't give up.

My three year old was the same way...it seems to me that kids will potty train when they are good & ready. I guess the only thing you can do it compare him to the baby...have him help with getting diapers for her, and the wipes, and having him throw away the poopy ones...and make a big deal of it! "Wow, your such a BIG BOY, you dont' NEED diapers anymore!!!" Also, I let my 3 year old pick out his own underwear-he has an older brother who wears boxers so he didn't want underwear, he wanted boxers & he was soooooo proud that he got to wear boxers too!!!
Good Luck!!

Hi, O.. I've learned with two boys to just let them do it on their own. You can help them by asking if they need to go potty or getting them tin undies, sticker rewards, etc. Just learn to be patient and it will all work out. They will do it when their ready.
S.

I have a little girl who is 2 1/2 and I just got her out of diapers let me tell you what happened
first she was very into the potty tried it alot then she just lost interest it wasnt' fun anymore so we backed of for a while and tried again well the little potty was just a toy and it kept rewarding her for nothing so I took it apart and started putting the seat on the toilet and bought her a potty time book that she could only read on the potty that started working for a while then she started to complain that the seat hurt and she absolutely refused to sit on the potty at all so at christmas santa gave her a new seat that was nice and cushy but she still refused to use it so I told her if she just sat on she would get a cookie no matter what. so she sat on it and I gave her the cookie to eat while she sat there and she did but she did not go potty she just sat. but that was better than nothing and occasionally she would go wee wee and she would get a sticker but as long as she had a diaper on she really didn't care and she wouldn't wear the underwear I had bought her but she would practically change her own diaper so I knew she was ready then she started wanting to wear the pullups with princesses on them so I went out and bought her "special" princess under wear she was soooo excited about them I let her run around in just a t shirt and the underwear and she checked herself out in the mirror and did little dances, then she peed in them and couldn't wear cinderella anymore and that really upset her so she started using the potty now we only use night time pull ups and that is just so that I don't worry she doesn't really wet them and yes she still has the occasional accident as all little ones do but she is getting better every day and we always tell her that is ok to have accidents some times so that she doesn't feel bad.

so maybe all you need to do is find "special" underwear for him and find a treat like a cookie that he really likes oh yeah and no matter what you do end up spending alot of time in the bathroom so maybe a good stool to sit on or something so you can still hold your little one just incase he wants to linger. I hope this helps and don't worry they do eventually get it and this will all be a thing of the past until molly is ready:)

First of all boys are harder to potty train than girls are, but the only advice that I can give you is try putting a potty chair in an area where everyone else is and when he does use it get some stars or somekind of reward to put on the fridge for him. That was the best encouragement I found that worked. My daughter potty trained herself by the age of 1 because she had 3 brothers and she couldn't stand diapers. She also stood up like a boy. Good luck.
D.

O.-

My best advice for you is to let your 3-year-old take a break from potty training for a month or so. I had to do the same with my oldest son (now 4) At 3 1/2, we tried everything. All the same strategies that you mentioned. But kids are very smart and know how to get exactly what they want. So for a while we just didn't mention it.

Then my husband suddenly put him in regular underpants one day and my son simply got it together and trained himself. He had one training accident the day after he was put into underwear, but nothing after that.

He's wet the bed a couple of times, and had one or two of the usual sort of "didn't get there on time" accidents, but nothing else since.

Really, giving your son a break will be a break for you, too. If you're really tired of changing diapers, try pull-ups for now. He can get them on and off by himself and they aren't much more expensive than diapers. I'd reccomend diapers for night-time though.

Just take a breather. You'll both be happier for it.

Good luck to you.
-B.-

Well, I could have written your post a week ago. My 3 (turned 3 in December) year old son is VERY, VERY stubborn! I thought he would NEVER train. Finally I sought the advice of experienced moms on another BBS that I frequent and I got some good advice..I'll pass on what has been working for us. Mind you, my son has only been PTing for 1 week and 1 day today but he has had 4 days with NO accidents.

The best advice I got was to do undies or naked NO MATTER WHAT. If they're in diapers or pullups why would they want to go to the toilet if they can pee where they are, while playing...? Yes, there will be accidents. Even if you think your son doesn't care about sitting in wet undies, he does and if you keep on it, he will learn that you are not going to give in and that wet, cold clothes is no fun.

Another thing that helps is finding their currency. For my son, it is GUM. He is obsessed with gum. So I bought a gumball machine and if he tried to go potty, he got one gumball. If he actually went, he got 3. He was going on the potty and not requiring gumballs by the second day.

My kid is a stickler....he gets grumpy about putting undies on in the morning but when it's time for nap, he gets grumpy about putting on a diaper.

Like I said, it's only been a week....but he's doing WAY better than I had ever anticipated and I owe it all to not giving in and putting him in diapers the morning I started.

I wish you luck!

We use the temporary tattoos. My son isn't quite ready for full-blown potty training yet, I don't feel...but when he does go on the big boy potty, he gets a temporary tattoo (right now, the Disney Cars ones...he LOVES them). He likes that because he's then able to show everyone else what he's accomplished, too. Good luck!

my son was 3 1/2(almost 4) when he finally decided to be ok with potty training(he was fully trained 1 month before his 4th birthday), because your son is the 1st child he has no one to look up to, most 2nd/3rd children will do it faster because they want to copy their brother/sister. since your son doesn't have the role model he will be slower and since you have a baby in the house he is most liking to want to act like a baby then a big boy. pull ups work good and just making potty time a good habit not bribing or yelling/screaming about it. saying things like "what a good boy you are" or something to make it a positive atmosphere would work. hope this work and potty training is a lengthy process so be patient. S. D.

I had the most stubborn 3 year old when it came to potty training!! Finally I decided no more diapers except at night. During the day he was in pull-ups (the "cold-feeling" ones). He turned 3 in June and by mid-August he decided he was ready. We've had just a few accidents here and there (mostly at night) but it's when they're ready that they'll do it. I made a sticker chart that we kept in the bathroom and he would put a sticker on it each time he went. He liked choosing his own stickers at the store and understood what they were for. He will do it when he is ready :)

I agree with the other poster who said "find out his personality and relax" about potty training. This is the ticket! Every child is different and their level of rediness varies greatly. I speak from experience. It took us forever to potty train our oldest. I started him on the potty at 2 1/2 and he just wasn't ready. It wasn't until he was nearly 3 1/2 that he would go on the potty and then it took only a week for him to get it down for both day and night. Then, my second child was a wonder...at 2 1/2, he just went to the bathroom and used the potty (without me saying a word!) and started going on the potty from then on out! No training on my part whatsoever. And now my third child, at 22 months has been going on the potty for the last week...we still have accidents, but we're getting close to tossing out his pull-ups! So, like I said, every child varies. I know some moms will say you can train them as early as 18 months, which I believe, if the particular child they are talking about is "ready" to be trained at that age. My personal opinion about your son (and this is based solely on a few words from you) is that because their is a new baby and he is saying "change my diaper"...this is his way of telling you that he's not ready, that he likes the attention he gets from you, just like baby sister gets when it's time to change a diaper. Sure, she's been around for 9 1/2 months, but my pediatrician told me that older siblings can demonstrate the sibling rivalry anytime up to a year of the birth of the new baby...and his stubborness just might be that. Give him some time and he'll use the potty.

Hi O.. I have two boys that are 2/12 years apart. I battled with my oldest and was convinced that I would have him trained on my timing. Little did I know that it had to be his choice, not mine. I know that seems sensible, but I really thought that there was a magic formula or toy out there that would make it happen. I therefore made many mistakes and turned it into a control battle that went on and on. If you leave him alone and have discussion with him without pressure, he'll figure it out. My oldest also went pee in the potty for about 6 months before he got the poo down. My second son had the benefit of his older brother going through the battle, so I completely left him alone. He ended up seeing his brother go and went in the potty on his own for the first time before three. All kids are different and will eventually figure it out. Good luck to you.

My son Taylor was a difficult child to train. I found the easiest way to train him was two things. First, I took him into the bathroom with me so he was not scared and then I "raced" him. Boys LOVVVVVEEEEE compitition, they thriveon it, so if you make it a game, they take more interest in it.....AND since they always win, there is more interest. In no time your son will love the new game and will eventuly try it by himself. The only thing you have to worry about is teaching him to loose....LOL

hi O.,

I understand. I do, I do! My daughter, Gabi, is 3 and 1/2 years, and she is still getting the hang of going to the potty. she still wears diapers at night.

I had a baby in Sept. I have another girl who just turned two. my husband and i joke that we are just barely keeping our heads above water. our life changes every day!

gabi was, IS, a very strong-minded girl. she absolutely refused to go without diapers. she turned three the week before our baby, willow, was born. i mean -- come on! -- i heard all the advise, but i had no motivation to use it. i was just going on the feeling that she would use the toilet when she was ready. i talked to her about it every day. my husband was firm with her, he brought home like ten potty books (which helps, by the way!) and even tried to potty train for one whole day. she did it, but it didn't stick. she didn't care about being dirty or wet, either. what the heck?

so i just let it go. after christmas, when willow was three months old, she got over the real difficulties of infancy, life seemed a little more in balance, or maybe the stars were all in position, but ONE DAY, I just had enough. it just hit me that i really WANTED gabrielle to get potty trained. that day i decided ... this is it. I talked to her, very seriously, about why i wanted her to go -- she'll feel so good not wearing diapers, she'll get to go to school and make some friends, she can take a dance class or soccer or something else ... all very real reasons to a three year old.

Well i think she got it. in just an afternoon, she was using her potty. she was so proud of herself, and we were, and still are, so happy for her.

There is so much pressure in our society to "do the correct thing". well, what's the correct thing for your family? I'm sure the day of reconing will come for you, too. I never knew exactly how i would get gabi potty trained -- i always imagined it would just happen. And it did. when she was ready, and when i was ready. there are a lot of very disciplined people who can get their kids potty trained when they are two or younger. i say, whatever ...

don't let that kind of pressure get to you. i still think it was better 'for us' to wait until gabi really wanted to do it. maybe other kids can be worked into it. but gabi's not that way. she's going to be my rocket scientist. she does everything according to some inner voice she was just born with. she was meant to be this way, and we were meant to be her parents, not other people who would have made her go potty on their convenient schedule. I'm not knocking those people, i just don't like the universal consciousness making some people feel bad about themselves.

Good luck, O. -- buy some books for the little guy -- you guys will be fine. someone once told me not to worry so much about potty training ... our kids probably won't be going to college wearing diapers.

I had the same problem with getting my youngest to potty train. With my oldest, when he was 3, I was determined to have him potty trained before my daughter came and he was interested. His personality allowed him to be so interested at that age and allowed him to potty train SO easily. When my daughter was almost 4 before she finally showed an interest and that was because I put her in daycare in underwear. She would be to embarrased to have an accident in front of other kids her age. That's her personality. Find your son's personality and relax, he will use the potty eventually.

I also have an incredible stubborn child who refused to use the bathroom also. I am not ashamed to say I have used a bribe to get him to go and it has worked(YEA). He wants to play baseball something fierce, so I told him that he cant play until he starts going potty in the toilet. Needless to say now he stays in big boy underwear all day long and with reminders to go potty he pretty much stays dry durring the day. At night we still have to use the overnights, but we're getting there. My son started showing interest in the potty at 2 1/2 but is just now at 3 1/2 getting potty trained. Just keep at it and it will get easier.

I help potty train many daycare children with patience, potty training books/videos but wish I had known about "Toilet Training In Less Than A Day" by Nathan H. Azrin, Ph.D & Richard M. Foxx, Ph.D.

I could have used this book when potty training our now 10-1/2 yr. & 8-yr. girls. Highly recommend this book found at Overstock.com. It helps!

The 2nd day I had tremendous potty training effort from a 3-1/2 yr. girl who cried the previous day & refused to even sit on the toilet. I had already tried the potty video and potty books. This book I found online has helped many parents.

With patienc, the child often potty trains when ready...some will regress if newborn, other children (siblings, cousins or daycare) are around...others potty train faster when an older child is around.

One of my special needs daycare mom let her son run around in pull-up's & kept the musical potty seat in front of the t.v. with the potty video. He was more cooperative watching his favorite t.v. shows & DVD's.

I choose to use the patience, the potty flushable sound effect potty book & the Elmo Potty Seat. Some parents use the reward system with sticker chart or incentive from The Dollar Tree.

In my present situation, the health/safety inspector would have frowned on me lvg. a potty seat in the middle of my living room.

I had a very difficult time potty training my son, thank goodness for the daycare he went to. I asked her how she was doing it so that I could keep it up on the weekends. She told me that she would make my son sit on the potty every hour for anywhere from 5-10 minutes, there were no rewards other than a hi-five when he did go. We are still having issues at night but he know when he has to go during the day. My son was close to 4 before he was completely potty trained during the day.

If he watches you or dad go potty. After your done i know it may sound silly but praise yourself like clap your hands and say YAY mommy went potty . Keep doing it he will catch on eventually. It worked on my 4 kids. Good Luck =)