Help with Potty Training - Visalia, CA

It got to the point that I knew my daughter knew how to go to the bathroom, but she preferred diapers. I knew that as long as we still had diapers around she would never go potty. I decided that it was time for the "diaper fairy" to come. I told my daughter that the diaper fairy was coming to take her diapers to other little babies who needed them now that she was a big girl. In exchange for her diapers she would leave some fun new panties for my daughter. We went to the store, looked at the panties, and then we wrote a letter to the diaper fairy telling her what kind of panties my daughter wanted. The night the diaper fairy came I had my daughter put all her diaper things together for the diaper fairy to take away. The next morning there were packages of panties, some treats, and some pull-ups (only to be used at night, and we called them night-time panties). To my daughter the option of diapers was gone. She potty trained in a few days with no complaints. We still had accidents for the next few months, which is typical. I know that my daughter would have stayed in diapers for many more months if the diaper fairy hadn't come. Good luck.

Dear S.,

Ease up and stop trying to make her do it. She will come around when she sees that you are not bugging her. No kidding, it is true. There is a reason that she cooperates away from home, you know.

That's the way kids are - for thousands of years now.

C. N.

the best way is the lose the diaper. it's hard for her to connect the feeling of peeing if she doesn't know when she's actually doing it! So around the house, just tell her that she's going to go pee pee in the potty and that you only have 10 diapers left for when you go outside the house, or some sort of story like that. you'll have to deal with several accidents, but be patient, and once she can connect the mess with the sensation, she might actually run to the potty on her own!

S., I am a single mother of a 5 year old little boy who was surprisingly easy to potty train! He is growing up with a lot of family around, and always wanted to be like his older cousins. You may want to try taking her to the bathroom with you, and have a separate potty for her...sometimes if she sees what a "big girl" she can be, it will help her get over her anxiety regarding the situation. Also, the training pants that indicate that your child has gone with a cool sensation might help her to know when she needs to go. The days that you are with her, try to keep track of the times she is regularly going, and take her at those times. Since you have other kids,this may very well be her way of wanting to stay the baby...keep in mind that it is completely natural, but try reinforcing her good potty behavior with statements like "What a big girl!" I have noticed that by giving my son some "big boy" responsibilities, like holding the dustpan when I sweep, or taking the laundry out of the dryer helped him to feel like he was a big boy...let her know she is growing up, and going potty is one of the steps she takes to gain new freedoms (i.e. extra play time, a treat, stickers.) Positive reinforcement is the best way to get her going! Just stick with it, and she will do great! Good Luck!!

Hmmmm so she knows what to do and how to do it at someone else's house but will not do it for you, huh?? Sounds like a control issue to me. Stop trying so hard. Just give her some panties and tell her she can use them when she is ready. Then get out of her way. You can remind her that when she fells like she is a big girl (or something else that might sound cool to her, like being older or more independent) then she will use the potty and wear panties. Not sure about nighttime, though... Mine wore pull ups for at least a year later.

I don't think they will train until they are ready. You can certainly spend a ton of time devoted to it, turning all family quality time into going to the bathroom time, however I believe he/she will not be ready until they are ready. It will hapen before you know it.

S. hi! My son & daughter are both grown now but when they were 2 or 3 years old I just kept putting them in disposable diapers, not really making any fuss over it. As they met other children their age, they began to realize their friends wore "big boy" or "big girl" underwear and went to the toilet. It was really no effort required on my part. But, most importantly, they were not distressed about potty training. It just happened naturally. I think a lot of parents are more concerned about this than necessary. Try to relax and just enjoy her. She'll be over this before you know it.

Do you think maybe this has become a power struggle for her? I know you have older kids so you have been there, done that. My older son (10 years now) had trouble with this too. He was my first and you get that pressure from everyone about how and when they should be taught. Have you thought about sort of letting it go to see if it will just happen? She definitely has enough "potty role models" in the house. She knows what she has to do. Maybe you should just not fight this battle and give it a little time. It would probably help you with your sanity as well! What is that saying...they always end up out of diapers eventually anyway, right? Best of luck to you...

My daughter was almost 3 1/2 when she started pre-school every day, and was nowhere near trained (I figured it was best not to push it...I had heard too many regression stories). Her teacher told me to just send her to school in underwear, which I did. She was trained in about 2 days, and only had one accident. It was almost too easy! However, she still wears pull-ups at night...I'm not ready to deal with wet sheets in the middle of the night yet!

Hi, I had one very easy girl to potty train and a very difficult little boy to potty train. I was at the end of my rope when I ran into another mom and she told me what she did. It worked for me, so if you have the time and the patience I think you should give it a try. She said set aside 5 days that you know you can stay home with him or her. Get rid of all diapers and training pants so the temptaition of putting one on to run to the store or on an errand is not there. Put her on the toilet as long as it takes for her to go potty. (In my case 3 hours) Then put her big girl panties on. If she goes in them have her sit on a surface that will not be ruined from the pee or poop and let her sit in it for fifteen minutes and do not comfort or acknowledge her discomfort. After the fifteen minutes explain the situation, clean her up and put her big girl panties back on and continue the cycle for however long it takes. Also, make sure she goes to bed with panties on also. It took my son 1 day and he was pottied trained, but I was prepared to never put a diaper back on him and to clean up many messes. I have a little girl and there is nothing worse for her to be dirty, she is repulsed by it. (she was very easy to potty train). My son did not care if he was in a dirty diaper, he would play for as long as I would let him. But it is a different sensation having wet underwear and pants on you. Good luck!
K.

Hi S., I'm definitely no expert, we just finished potty training our 2 1/2 year old. We too did the sticker chart reward system, which worked for a little while. We then switched to rewarding one jelly bean after going successfully. What ended up really working however was going straight to panties. For whatever reason, she never really felt wet in pull ups so didn't care if she went in her pants. As soon as she felt what "wet" really felt like, she was quicker to let us know when she had to go, or would just go by herself. Yes, it meant a few clean ups on my end (which I had her help with) but it's working.
Good luck!

Have you tried keeping her naked? That worked for my son. He didn't have anything to pee or poop in so it was uncomfortable for him and forced him to go in the potty. Every child is different but it's worth a shot!

my sister used to work at a preschool and she had the kids who were being potty trained. so every 15 minutes she'd take the whole group to the potties whether they had to go or not. it works. ok so i used her strategy. i turned it into a game. it was 2 days of being at home mind you. we used the little portable potty and just plopped it down whereever we were - watching tv, etc. i even set a timer for every 15 minutes. every time they sat on the potty (they didn't have to actually "go") they got a sweettart. 2 days ... done!

keep her naked they hate the urine running down their leg it works within a week it is amazing!

I just potty trained my son, which i think is one of the hardest parts of parenting. haha. He is 2 1/2 and i did the "bare butt potty training" you can read about it on askdrsears.com
Basically you let your daughter wear nothing but a shirt so that the comfort of a pull up/diaper/and or underwear is not there which might make her go in her pants. Being "bare butt" lets them feel the urge to go without that safety "net" there. It worked in 3 days with my son. We still worked on not having accidents for about 2 months and he still has them every now and then but he is doing great!
I had tried lots of different ways to potty train and this one worked the best!
Good luck!
ps: he also didn't care for candy rewards, sticker rewards etc but he did get excited over money. lol So we gave him a dime every time he went pee-pee and a quarter for poo-poo. He got excited to put it in his piggy bank. and when he was finished potty training we took the money and get "bought" a new toy! He was excited. maybe that will help.

BAck off. Don't try to hurry her along or she will fight you more. My daughter didn't use the potty until after she was four. Let it go and she will come around on her own. I know that diapers and pull-ups are hard and so is carrying around a diaper bag but that's part of who she is so accept this and move on.

We are currently in week 3 of training our almost 3 year old daughter. We decided to go directly to panties and we started with putting the potty in the playroom the first week because she was having trouble recognizing the signs quickly enough. But after a few accidents she started to make it to the bathroom in time. And we are down to 1 accident a day, if that. I still use a diaper at bedtime and naptime until but the second she is up we put her on the potty and put the panties back on. We only use the pullups when we go out for a longer period of time. She is afraid of the public toilets, so we will approach that issue in time. We let her pick her panties out also and do as much as she can on her own, and I think this helps her embrace the potty training better. Good luck!!

My daughter didn't want to potty train either. She just turned 3 in January. The nurse at her doctor's appt. told us that we just had to get it done, so the next day we put her in big girl panties. It's been two weeks. The first week she peed in her panties numerous times every day. She even pooped in them about three times (much to my disgust). But the last two or three days, out of nowhere, she has been letting us know consistently when she needs to go. She hasn't had a single accident since Friday. It was a pain, but it seems to be working. Good luck!

I have a 23mths old and he is potty trained. I tried a couple different ways. The best way is letting them run around your own home with either real underwear (pull ups are too much like diapers) or just plain old naked. I reminded him every 15 mins. (it was a pain) but now does it all by himself.

put then in training pants thru the day and then take them to the bathroom with a potty beside the commode.take them after meals and drinks etc. if they forget just keep trying.patience.

We JUST potty trained our 3 year old last week. The thing that seemed to work with her, is I got her "princess panties"- she LOVES all the Disney princesses, especially Cinderella. I told her that she doesn't want to pee on the princesses, because they're special panties. She was very conscious of this as she wore them, and didn't pee in them once! I also got her princess Pull-Ups that she wears to naptime and bedtime, in which I did the same thing. She doesn't want to pee on those princesses either!

Good luck!

Follow through with the sticker reward at home. Don't use any other reward system. Also, go to the public library website and find where you can get a video called "Potty Power" (see citation below). It's fun for 3 year olds to watch. You will learn a trick or two yourself from watching the video.

http://www.sandiego.gov/public-library/

Call Number : E DVD/POTTY
Title : Potty power for boys & girls [videorecording].
Publisher : Bristol, CT : Thinkeroo, [2004]
Description : 1 videodisc (30 min.) : sd., col. ; 4 3/4 in.

Medium : DVD, region 1; Dolby Digital.

Annotation : Live action and 3-D animated characters guide viewers step by step through potty use and proper hygiene. Original, upbeat music videos and entertaining stories reinforce the lessons learned in the program.

Notes : "Say good-bye to diapers!" -- container
Includes the fairy tale "The princess and the potty."

Oh Dear !my son , now 17 , i remember :
we were at Babaji's ashram in India , a little
mountain - village at the foothills of the himalayas , and my diapers run out ...so I asked some indian Ladies ,where to buy PAMPERS . They looked at me like a vision from an old fairytale ....PAMPERS ? may be in New Dheli ? 12 hours drive away ?! I asked - how DO YOU DO it ? well .... I shure found out . And Potty-Training came in naturally and was so much fun .... but at night-time ...hahahaha - I collected plastik-bags to design night -pampers !
Everything is possible for those who ....
BELiEVE!

LOVE , N.

Hi S....
I just finished potty training my daughter and it was E-A-S-Y with the help of www.easypottytraining.com it is an online book- and if you follow it exactly, you daughter will be trained fully in 3 days!!! Good luck!!

K.

We found that when we made it a "fun" place to be, our daughter enjoyed being there, going there. We put designated books that she liked on a stand near the toilet. Also we made sure to give her her own "space" in there, not hovering over her, to help her feel comfortable - letting her take her time, she could read a little there. Oh, also, the little potties never worked for us very well. Instead, we used one of those child seats that fits over the regular toilet, that way she didn't feel like she was going to fall in. :)

How often are you asking? Maybe you are usually catching her at times when she doesn't need to go. Step up the "potty time" visits, and put her in panties so she won't have a nice, absorbent diaper or pull-ups to go into instead of the potty. I made a "potty chart" for my son to put stickers onto & it's a great reminder/incentive for him to try to use the potty every time he's in the bathroom. Make sure you keep the potty visits positive & fun & don't act disappointed or angry if she doesn't actually "go". If she sees she has the power to push your buttons by withholding potty, she'll use that power more often & potty training will take longer.

C. : )

Since your daugther will go at the babysitters, she is pretty much potty trained at this point. It sounds like she's "Mommy" training now for some extra attention. Stop making a big deal about it and if you are still using diapers, stop. Completely. Not even at night. They make those waterproof mattress pads for a reason and they work. You might have to wash sheets extra for a little while - but this too will pass. I also had a "stubborn" one and at three I rolled up the area carpet. Laid water proof pads on the furniture and brought out the real underpants. It didn't happen overnight (like my first child), but it did happen once I stopped trying to "train" and let go of the process. After the age of 3 - they know what you want. -CVS

Consistency with children is always key. I know for my children, I took them potty about every 15-30 minutes until they started telling me they needed to go. They understand that this was something that was GOING to happen. I also bought the training underwear (thick cotton) sold at Wal Mart or Target - with the baby items like bibs etc... The pull-ups seem to make children feel the same as diapers so thereby, don't help. The underwear make them feel the problem as it occurs and if they haven't started to tell you that they need to go....they hopefully won't like the feeling and will start. Praise when they go. Don't punish when they don't. It is important to just encourage them to do the right thing even though it is very frustrating to us when they don't go like big boys and girls. Hope this helps, God Bless You and good luck!

Hi S.,

What worked for my daughter was having somebody she looked up to talk to her. To her was grandpa, They have alwys been close. Is one of those things ... when my nice was born, she only got jelouse when my dad was holding her and with nobody else.