I was talking to my daughter and niece about a Menstral cycle becuase they are both around the same age. And my duahgter did not seem like she was interested where as my niece was asking all types of questions. I just wamted her to know what was going on with her body because I she how she is changing. An she is the same age that I was when I started. I did not want her to be un imformed and I did not want some one telling her before me if she did start and I was not around. But she does not really talk I have to make her talk to me.
Get the book All About You. It's an American Girl Book. It explains everything they need to know, in a very gentle and appropriate way. Read it with her and allow her to ask questions.
You are doing great! It's good that you are available to talk to her and you certainly want her to have the right information. Keep the lines of communication open. Offering her the books that one of your other posts mentioned... the American Girl Series... is a great line of books for tweens. Remembering that we were a little embarrassed when our parents brought up the subject helps. Casually throwing the conversation out there when she is comfortable and a bit offguard helps her to know that you are there when she has questions. Offering her a "kit" and letting her know to keep it in a safe place will let her know that you want her to be prepared - (i.e. small make-up purse w/ many pantiliners and a couple heavier pads. Then you explain that the panti-liners are not for your period, they are for the discharge that you get MONTHS before. It will catch her attention.) Focusing on good hygiene and buying her good "teen" deodorant and facial cleanser/acne treatment (which is only slightly less embarrassing for a kid to talk about) and showing her the proper way to take care of her skin is a great idea because it helps to bridge that gap between her body changing and the day she GETS her period. Just an FYI... Mary Kay Cosmetics has a great line of teen products (i.e. facial cleanser and blemish remover) which is not too expensive and lasts for about 3 months.
She'll ask questions when you least expect them to pop up. Just stay available, calm and don't act embarrassed. Good luck.
EDIT: Here is one of the American Girl books and the other is the "Feeling Book".. .There is also a book about Friends and different situations that they can get into and how to solve those sticky friend situations.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Care-and-Keeping-of-...
She just didnt talk or ask too many questions beecaue it was her mother talking to her. Tell her she can ask at any time and can ask her aunt too. Ask her if she wants to get books from the library or you could just go and get them. Just let her know that it is an open topic and she can bring it up at anytime and she will if you let her be in control of it for when she is ready to talk.
good luck
J.
You did good F., but each child is different and though your niece was receptive, your daughter may have felt uncomfortable with her cousing being there or may not have been ready for the talk.
I'd wait a bit longer and bring the subject up again and let her know that these things can sometimes be difficult to talk about, but you are always available to talk and answer questions without judging or worrying that your private talks will be shared with anyone else.
You may also check out some books about "my changing body", etc. I think there is a good one that the American Girl people put out that addresses other things like using deodorant and friendships - which are all connected!
My girls are 18 mos apart and I talked to them together a few times and the first time went well for about ten mins. and the younger one began to get uneasy. I was understanding and said okay, we can talk about it another time. Now she talks to me all the time. She comes into my room and says, "Mom, we need to talk," and closes the door. It's really good.
Good luck and don't get discouraged!
There are some really nice age-appropriate books for girls that you good check out at your local library. Books about our bodies changing. Also, I just saw some at the children's bookstore in town. I think they were by "American Girl" but there are also other books. Just ask the librarian. You could pick up a few and leave them in her room with a note from you to say, "Thought you might be interested. Let's talk again this weekend" or something like that. Sometimes girls are too shy to ask questions, but I think they are probably a bit afraid or nervous about what is ahead for them! You might also consider buying her a journal. She might write down her thoughts then share them with you. Good luck!
Sounds like she may be embarrassed by the topic. I know when I was her age I was very embarrassed talking about menstrual cycles and all, especially with women in my family. Give her time, she'll come around. At least she knows that you are there, if she wants to talk. But I wouldn't push the subject if I were you.
You've probably figured this out by now, but your daughter didn't respond, because you are her mother and she was a bit embarrassed to be discussing it in front of her cousin. Your niece, on the other hand, was talking with her aunt and that made it much easier for her to ask questions. I'm sure your daughter was taking it all in and probably relieved to have her cousin ask all of the questions.
Kids don't always respond the way we think they will about this sort of thing. Maybe she was embarrassed to have this talk with the niece present also? It is pretty private...I was embarrassed-no mortified-when my mom talked to me about this but I was still glad she did (once I got over my initial horror about the whole business). Just keep the lines of communication open and let her know she can always come to you with questions, etc. and bring it up from time to time, see how she is doing etc.
Good for you for having this talk with your daughter and niece. I think it is totally normal for your daughter to keep quiet, just as I think it is normal for your niece to ask the questions. It is always easier for them to talk to a non-parent. Maybe your daughter would like to talk to her aunt? In any case, rest assured that you are doing the right thing by bringing up the conversation. Your daughter will know that you are open to talking about it and she can come to you if she needs to.
I would continue to talk to her in an off the cuff manner like you just thought of it off hand. Don't worry that she doesn't appear to be interested. I hated talking to my mom about stuff like that, but she talked to me anyway so I was informed. You might even consider having a family friend or aunt talk to her to see if she will open up. Sometimes there is a mom-daughter dynamic that you can't fight no matter what. My mother tried her best, but we just didn't get along. We do now, but that wasn't until I was 21 or so.
My friends are all going through the same thing. One of them found a book carried by bath and body stores. It is an amercian girl book that talks about tampons, hygeine, etc. It is written for teens. Good luck!
Hi F., My sister and my niece who is 12 have always had an open relationship. As well as with my nephew who is 13. It has always been this way with her children. No they are not "friends", there is still that parent-child relationship. But they know they can come to her with any question. But when it is time for "talks" they are very comfortable talking with her about anything. Has this always been like this with you and your daughter or did one day you decided to talk to your daughter about her monthly.If this was the case she might have been uncomfortable about it. Try to start having a "open" relationship with your daughter where everything can be talked about. In the meantime like someone else said go to the libary and get her a book or ask her Aunt to talk to her about it. Good Luck either way.
Did they have this talk in school during health class? Many school to have this. Maybe that is why she feels she does not need to hear anymore. I think I would just sit down with her ALONE and tell her what you would like to tell her. If she has no questions, there is nothing you can do. She will come to you when the time is right.
Hello? You are her mother!
The niece is not your child, of course she'll ask you questions.
She's not as embarrassed.
Any way, it doesn't matter if your daughter has questions. What matters is that she is listening, and she knows that when she does have questions, she can come to you.
