Helping 7 Year Old Transition Out of Diapers at Night

I also have a 7 y/o that wears pull ups every night. I think that their brain doesn't wake them up. My older daughter also was about this age when she finally could sleep dryly thru the night.

Some kids just don't develop the ability to hold it until they are ten or eleven. We tried everything for my son-- waking him, timers, alarms, everything. He still couldn't hold it until he was ten. You should support her in any efforts she wants to make, and help her keep her "condition" to herself--- other kids can be very cruel.

Dear M.,

Many kids are heavy sleepers and also bed wetters, some into their teens. However being “fine” with a diaper for an eight year old, who is not otherwise physically or mentally impaired may be part of the problem.

She will no doubt be invited to or wish to have sleepovers, if this has not already come up. Having to turn down invitations and not feeling like “all the other girls” can be very difficult and sad for a child.

Your daughter is old enough to get herself up if she needs to use the bathroom and it “does” matter how much liquid intake she has. There should be no drinks for at least two hours before bedtime. When she is ready for bed, give her a few sips of water, have her go to the bathroom just before getting into bed. If she can’t wake herself up, set one or two clocks at different intervals during the night. (For instance 11 PM and 4 AM, depending on her bedtime). Instead of diapers, I suggest pull-ups and eventually just regular underwear.

She is also old enough to change her own bed.

Blessings…….

My niece is soon to be 7 and wears diapers to bed at night also. If she feels it in the day she can feel it at night. What does the dr say? I believe you need to take it off the diapers and albeit an inconvenience for you set your alarm every two hours and get her up to go. Put mattress prtector on her bed and if she pees she will just lay in it to get that feeling of wetness that she has never had. This trains the brain in a way. My niece was not allowed to go to Kindergarten all day because of potty traning accidents. You have to just take the inconvenience for it to work.

M.,

My daughter just turned 8 (last Wednesday)and had the same issue. She didn't care for a long time. Then all of a sudden it mattered to her.

I paid attention to when she was wetting, early morning between 4:00 and 5:30. I knew she could hold it, but wasn't waking up to go to the bathroom.

Here is out plan...
-limit beverages 2-3 hrs before her bedtime (This was really important.) We let her have a sip of water at bedtime, but no more.
-Sit on the potty and really empty out. Not just enough...let it all out. My daughter was surprised that she had more in her.
-Pull-up on and off to bed.
-Check her before you go to bed to see if she is dry. If several hours after she is asleep, I take her to the bathroom.
-Dry morning....high five and discuss positives of the plan
-Wet morning... adjust the plan and then high five

We set a goal of 7 nights in a row dry and then no pull ip. She met that goal several times this year and ended up back in pull ups. Once I explained that I wasn't worried about wet sheets (They can be washed.), she relaxed and was more successful.

She had been dry for a full month and asked to go back to pull up because she had been sick and she knew that there would be more accidents and she was right- a full week of wet nights. Once she was over the bug, she was back to normal.

Since that month, she's been dry for 2 months. She's over the hump.

I hope that helps.
Stephanie

Now is a great time to get your daughter used to the idea that she should be getting up at night to use the bathroom. My daughter was ten when we got in touch with Pacific International. They helped us to remedy the situation by giving us a screen that set off a light and an alarm when my daughter woould begin to wet. It seems like it took about nine months. In addition to the device, we filled out a form telling how successful she was at waking and sent it in every ten days. Then they would tell us what they thought would be helpful as well. At one time, they didn't think she was waking fully, so we gave her a secret word that she had to remember in the morning. It seemed like a long time, but well worth the effort to have her dry at night finally.
A.

Hello M.: I have to say that you blew me away with the age of your child- only because you don't say that you have had hr checked professionally for something that is wrong. I have had cousins that were in their teens and had wetting problems when something came up in their life that was trumatic. But that was fully taken care of with doctors help with medication and education.
There are devices that can attach to a bed that will go off if there is any dampness or alert you to the need to go to the bathroom. They are safe and non invasive.
I hope that you will consider that your child will have been exposed to other cfriends that may have a simular problem, as well as those who will mock her.( I have 5 children and raised several foster children). Some of my foster little ones developed other health issues that went along with the bed wetting- skin sores, odor that would not leave etc, asthma from the acid in the urine, so it bacame an issue of taking in that childs whole need and leaving my personal needs out of it. I am sure that you are intune with her self esteem and personal growth issues.
I wish you and her well in the great adventure of parenting it is a experiance that I have treasured and I know is one of my greatest achievments when I see the great people they have become. Nana G

I've been told that bed wetting is a symptom of a Magnesium deficiency. They sell a Mag powder at most health food stores especially for kids called Kid Calm by Natural Vitality. You can add it to juice or just add a little sweetener - honey or whatever you use, and it tastes like punch. My kids love it.
Good luck!
C.

Hi M.,

Our daughter had the same issue. When she was 8yo, we bought one of those bedwetting alarm devices. It's a sensor that attaches to the underwear and sets off an alarm when it detects moisture. At first, the alarm wakes YOU up, and you escort her to the bathroom. Our daughter slept in a sleeping bag right next to our bed to make that easier for me, and so I would be sure to hear it right away. It took about a week of that before the alarm woke her up, and she could go herself. After another week or so, we were able to stop using it altogether. So, in less than two weeks, she was "trained" to wake up when she felt the need. She has not had a single bedwetting accident since then! (She's 11 now.)

We used: www.sleepdryalarm.com
But there are many different ones on the market. They are expensive, but pay for itself pretty quickly in what you save on diapers...

-D.

Hi M.,

I am a 36 yrs old mom of 18 mos son. When I was a kid. I wore a diaper until I was 9 yrs old at night. That was because my nanny was not around at night and my parents were too lazy to train me.

Eventually, I learn how to get myself up to go to the bathroom and wean myself off the diaper. It was a sense of embrassment for me. Being too old to wear a diaper at night. Your daughter will come around and get off it herself too. Remember, children do things according to their own peace.

I don't regret wearing a diaper at night. It was an experience that I look back to and laught about. She will be fine. Good luck!!!

M. -

First, congratulations to you for following your instincts and allowing your daughter to use sleep to her benefit. This is a gift that will last a lifetime. Now, I haven't heard of any biofeedback tools for bed wetting, but I think if you keep doing what you're doing, she will at some point decide she doesn't like wetting herself at night and her body will adjust. My son is 6.5 and still wets his bed but he is learning to get up when he feels it. This is huge change and understanding of thier own body. She will get it too, so no worries.

M. S

Hello,

If your daughter is interested you could try a pee alarm (you can find them at the bedwettingstore.com. It worked REALLY well for my son when he was 8. He, too was a really deep sleeper. He hadn't had more than one or two dry nights in his life when we first tried the alarm. Within about 2 weeks he was dry, and hasn't had even one accident since - and that was 3 years ago.

I bought ours used on eBay and really enjoyed reading the success stories of people who were selling theirs there.

Good luck!

Hi, M.,

I'm sure that your daughter will be fine but often it takes until adolescence starts to kick in for some children to be able to control their bladders. Somehow the hormones help the kids regulate themselves. It is a frustrating thing to be different from other kids and NO CHILD wants to be different in this way.

We tried many things with our older son, who when preschool demanded 'no more diapers' had to be changed into different clothes 3-5 times every day. We tried leaving him in the same clothes all week-end, no liquids after 6 PM, making him change the bedding himself, waking him 2 or 3 times every night - to NO AVAIL.

He wore pull-ups until he was 11 or 12 and they didn't use to make large sizes back them - just 35 lbs & up. He had to squeeze into them. The worst part was that he might pee so much that the pull-up couldn't hold all the fluid. When he was 7, we went to a urinary clinic - they did lots of tests and measured his output and the size of his bladder - everything was normal.

He was put on medication at the strongest level because he was in one of the lowest percentiles of bladder control; he still had daytime accidents as well. I think he would have improved over time whether we had used medication or not.

For sleepovers & slumber parties, he always changed into his PJs in the bathroom and no one seemed to notice or to say anything to him about it.

The doctors and clinicians said that my older son's 'problem' was genetic and inherited from his parents. But my husband and I and all our siblings were all successfully toilet trained by 2 years.

I say people are different and while this difficulty can be trying on the entire family - it won't last forever. On the other hand, my second son toilet trained in about 3 weeks and seldom ever had an accident [and never in the day time.] Same parents, different child.

Good luck to you and your daughter - there is light at the end of this journey!

I was like that as a kid. It got better when I peed right when I was going to bed. I don't know exactly what all changed, but I wanted to give you encouragement and support. I also want your daughter to know that she's not alone, and not the only one wearing pull-ups to sleepovers.
Good luck!

Hi M.,

I had a bed wetter son who is now almost 9 and seems to be coming out of it finally. He didn't wet daily, maybe a couple times a week or less. We had one accident 2 months ago and I gave him milk before bed but otherwise has been dry for about 8 months. I have heard dairy products cause bedwetting and I guess maybe it does?! You could try taking dairy out of her diet and see if it helps, or go to RAW milk (organicpastures.com)which I havent tried yet, but if the issue is bacteria in the milk then Raw milk would help because it has a VERY LOW good-bacteria count.I was just reading about raw milk yesterday.

Several months ago I read that high bacterial load in the body can cause bedwetting. SAMENTO (found online)is an antibacterial that reduces bacterial load. I did give him samento for a couple months on and off, i wasnt very consistent.(5 drops in water 3 times a day..don't give past 4 pm or it will keep them up at night, and also know that it can cause grouchyness). The interesting thing about bacterial load- commercial milk is LOADED BIG TIME with bacteria. yes.. it is killed when they pasturize it, but the bacteria is still in the milk. When bacteria die their outer wall breaks open and they release toxins into the milk. The bacterial toxins still need to be processed out of the body after you drink them- via urination, sweat, etc. So the elimination organs are taxed.

I have also read that it is a magnesium deficiency.I never got around to investigating that. Baked salmon, halibut, brocoli, are high in magnesium, or to use a supplement use dimagnesium malate. (t would be ###-###-#### mg for an adult,so cut that dose down appropriately for a child.

Blessings and prayers out to you,
Gail

Dear M.,
If you haven't done it already, you should take your daughter to see a urologist to rule out anything physical. One of my best friends in the 5th grade suffered with bladder incontinence and had a surgical procedure to correct it. If your daughter can hold it during the day, it's unlikely there is a physical problem but it can't hurt to have it checked.
I personally think that kids who go to bed in diapers or pull-ups at later ages continue to wet because they have the "safety" of the diaper. My son's best friend was still peeing in night diapers at 9 years old. His mother was convinced that he just couldn't help it or he slept too soundly. She wouldn't let him spend the night at my house because of his "wetting" problem. He put his foot down one night when my nephew was also here and said he wanted to stay the night. So, she came over when the kids were out playing to let me know there were pull-ups in his pillow case and what time he'd need to put one on and please not to say anything to the other kids.....
I stashed them in the bathroom with my daughter's things in a place I knew the other boys wouldn't look. I discreetly told him where they were and to just do what he needed to do. I gave him a bag for the wet one in the morning and told him just to put it back in the closet so no one would see it in the trash. To make a long story short, he didn't use a pull-up and he didn't wet the bed either. His mom couldn't believe it. And she put him in a pull-up the next night at home. He spent a million nights at my house after that and never once used a pull-up or peed himself in the night. And he quit peeing in the pull-ups at home so she finally quit making him wear one.
It can be a bit inconvenient, but I think the best way is to get something that will protect the mattress and a light pair of panties and let your daughter try to sleep without the diaper. If she has some accidents, that's okay. Wetting the bed and wetting a diaper are two different things and it might help her subconsciously to be more aware of when she's peeing at night so she can ultimately hold it or get up.
All kids are different, but what worked for Kevin was wanting so badly to spend the night with the other boys and he decided to "wing it" without a pull-up all on his own. I was so proud of him. If he'd had an accident, so what? It was just blankets and sleeping bags. It wouldn't have been the end of the world. I was prepared to deal with it if it happened. But, it didn't.
I say let your daughter try without the diapers. Surely she's getting to the age that she'll want to have sleepovers and things. It's summertime. Maybe try letting her sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag that can easily be tossed in the washer. Changing where she sleeps might make a difference. Pretend you're camping in the living room. Make some popcorn and read by flashlight. Let her have her own and use it to go to the bathroom with you before it's "lights out". I think changing the routine all together might be beneficial. And fun! Let her try.

Best wishes!

Hi M.- My oldest daughter wet the bed until about 7-8 years. For the vast majority of bed wetters it has nothing to do with "training" her brain, wearing (or not wearing) a pull up, being bathroom trained during the day or anything that she is conscientiously doing. They are in such a deep sleep they are completely unaware of the need go. Many of these posts imply (or outright say) she's old enough to train or be trained. Well it's all about deep sleepers with small bladders and has nothing to do with what she's wearing, what kind of kid she is, her maturity, your parenting or even her age. I researched this quite a bit and it's probably not something you can change until her body is ready. We would get my daughter up in the night only to have her return to bed and pee an hour later. She would be fine for several days and then have an accident. I take you being "fine" with this means you are not making a big deal of it and that's exactly the right attitude. Limit her liquids in the evening and support her if she wants to use the pull up or not. Plastic mattress covers make the wet bed not a huge deal and as for sleepovers my daughter's friends knew and were fine with her wearing a pull up. At this age sleepovers are usually with family or really close friends and they should be understanding. She will most likely just outgrow this as her bladder gets bigger, usually by 11-12 years at the very latest. There are a small percentage of kids who continue into teen years but our doctor says it's really rare. I don't know about the biofeedback device but I suspect if it worked we would all know it! I'd be skeptical of anyone who says a particular method works as these is no way of knowing if the remedy is working or the child's body just matured. I don't think there is a magic bullet. I have heard there are drugs (aren't there drugs for everything these days?) but that just wasn't for our family. If you do try something that works post it for the other Moms. Otherwise hang in there. As with all challenging Momma (and kid) moments "this too shall pass".

hi M., i can't really help you with your daughter but i am very interested in professional soul healing. are you like a counselor or therapist? i coulduse some soul healing so i believe this is why i came across your entry(i don't read all of them)if you have time, i would love to hear more. good luck with your daughter! thank you! V.

The best biofeedback is letting her wet the bed. Even if they are deep asleep, learning and the body's ability to remember consequences can work. Learning consequences is a positive thing and doesn't need to be seen as a problem or punishment. Looks like you got some great posts and good job on making sure your daughter is not ashamed.

M.,

Have you taken her to see a urologist? Make sure there is nothing physically wrong--- also, there are timers that you can buy to wake your child to go and use the bathroom. Do a google search and you will get a few options. Good luck!

Molly

Try a internet search for WetStop. We used it with my son at about age 5 and it worked really well.