HELP...My 3 Y/o Having Sleep Issues...

Hi, I'm a 37 yr old stay at home mommy too with a 3yr old who'll be 4 in May, as well as, a 25 month old. My oldest one too, also has night terrors. I was recently told by her doctor that if it happens nightly, to wake her up 1/2 hr before the episodes take place & spend time with her, then, put her back in bed. The only problem is, it not only happens at bed time, but, for us, first thing in the morning & after naps (if they're not long enough, if I can get her to take one). I haven't tried it yet. Some times, it lasts anywhere from 1/2 hr to 2 hrs, it varies every time. Thank goodness, my youngest one hasn't started this yet & hopefully, she won't.

Try playing a soothing CD for her in her room. My granddaughter went through a stage like this, and we found a CD with wave sounds and soothing music for her. She never had trouble after that as long as "her CD" was playing.
You might also want to have her "help" you make a dream catcher for over her bed. It will reinforce the idea that she will not be having any more bad dreams.
Good luck.

Hi Jacklyn,
My daughter started having the same issue when she was a little over 2(she is now 3). She would wake up in the night screaming and crying. My daugher absolutely loved the books and the movie abouut Finding Nemo. So, I went out and got a little one gallon fish tank and an orange goldfish. I placed it on her dresser where she would be able to see it from her bed across the room. She LOVED it! Amazingly enough the crying in the middle of night stopped after a couple of days. She tells "Nemo" good night every night. I don't know if the sound of the small air pump, the soft glow of the aquarium, or the fact that she had a "friend" in the room helped her, but it worked. I also have a daughter that is 2 now and she started having the same problem of waking up in the night. I also got her a small fish tank and her fish "Bruce". It also worked for her! Now I can still hear them wake up at night every now and then, but they are able to get themselves back to sleep.
I am definitely no expert on this, but it worked for me and my 2 daughters. Now we all get good nights of sleep!
Good Luck!

Night terrors have been shown to be related to the child being overtired. I experienced this with my older son. He would wake up screaming in a half-conscious state several times a night.

I started putting him to bed an hour earlier, then we dropped his nap and he went to bed 2.5 hours earlier, so he actually got an extra full hour of sleep once he dropped his nap. I also started being VERY consistent about his bedtime and sticking to 7:00pm, whereas before I put him to bed anywhere between 8:30-9:30pm.

His night terrors completely went away!

The only time since that they have returned has been when...surprise....something happens and he goes to bed too late. Then he wakes up with night terrors or bad dreams.

I would strongly suggest the book "Sleepless in America: Is Your Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep?" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Totally eye-opening and loaded with good ideas and techniques for helping get your child more and better rest.

L. Hamilton
http://www.theportablebaby.com

Once he got an extra hour of sleep he slept SO much better

Hi Jacklyn,

I read through all the response before responding to you because I wanted to see if what I'm gonna tell you someone has already told you. My daughter now six had night terrors also, I forgot what age. But she had them up until she was almost 4 yrs old and the doctor told me that it shall pass but it could happen until she is 7 I believe. I suggest you go ahead and follow the other advices you received. Although some of them I never heard of. But when I mentioned this to my doctor he asked me a couple of questions. One of them is if my daughter is really active before bedtime, you know playing alot, laughing and running around. I said yes sometimes. He also asked me if she watches TV before bedtime? I said yes too. He told me to try about an hour before bedtime to not have her so hyper, running around especially laughing alot. He also said to try and not have her not watch TV and if I do for it to be something soothing, calming. Nothing that makes her laugh and jump around alot. If your daughter is very active before bed and watches alot of TV try to have her be less active and no TV befor bed, if she insists then maybe something soothing and not so much excitement. This actually worked on my daughter. She didn't have so many episodes and now she doesn't have them as much. She still has them once in a blue moon, but nothing like before. I hope that helps and good luck.

I.

Hi!
When my first was almost two and my second on the way and I was so worn out, my sis-in-law gave me this wonderful book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Wisebluth. He believes in the child learning to self soothe and put themselves to sleep and when they awake in the night, you (like supernanny does) give them hugs and kisses the first time, then after that, no attention, straight back to bed, no eye contact even. You didn't say whether your daughter was coming out of her room. I'd suggest trying to get her to nap again and see if it helps. My four yr old sleeps best at night when the nap is a regular one. The book is available at most Targets and it is a hard approach, but it's worked for me and my sister-in-law's families. We bounce our copy back and forth and it's pretty dog-eared. You might find it at the library, however, they don't always have the newest version which has more info and advice than the old one.
Good luck!!!

Jacklyn..
My background is that I am a mother of 5, and raised 6 children. They are all more or less grown, but I remember those years of sleep issues.

There are several things to take into consideration. One is her age. About 3.5 years old, little ones begin to develop an awareness of themselves as autonomous beings. They are not YOU but an individual. This brings on (the physiological growth pattern of autonomy) some difficulties for them. They feel scared, and confused in addition to feeling a need to break away in small ways from dependancy. That said, night terrors, or bad dreams can emerge.

The other thing is that little ones are very sensitive to their parents' struggles. Investigate what you are going through. How's your relationship with your partner? How's your sense of self? (with little sleep that can really get messed up). Also, with so much on your plate... a baby, a toddler, and one on the way, can make you feel pretty stretched and possibly scared.

One strategy I used (yes, this happened several times with several kids) was to calm myself with my breath, using the power of my heart. Breathe through the area around your heart, and try to release your own fears, anxieties, issues in that way. It's a simple practice, and not all that easy to do, but it does help alot. Done several times a day or during those night time care times is all you need to do. Your little one is reflecting back something to you, so calming yourself is crucial. If there are problems in your life, marriage etc. do your best to work on those... she just may calm down sooner than you think.

Taking naps yourself (everyone tells us that, and it's just about impossible to do with all that you have on your plate) is one solution that I finally used. It worked pretty well... and I didn't get much done during those times - so there was a downside to it, but I did have more clarity and peace.

I hope this helps.

K. (I'm a woman)

I'm pretty sure your daughter is carb deprived. It can cause lots of things to include nightmares. If you dont want to give her a ton of carbs at night then just give her some juice in a cup by her bed so she knows when she wakes up in the middle of the night she can just take a few sips of her juice and then go back to sleep. My daughter is a huge grouch in the morning sometimes for the same reason. I hurry and get some juice when she wakes up and in no more than 5 minutes she's fine. Its a strange time in thier lives when they're growing too fast to keep up with but a healthy juice like juicy juice thats 100% juice will likely help you with the nightmares.

I'm fairly certain it's carb deprevation. Give it a shot you might be surprised.

Jacklyn,

I use a product called Natural Calm by Peter Gillham. You can buy it at any health food store. The primary ingredient in the product is magnesium. It helps my daughter (10)and I sleep. My oldest (21) was having slight anxiety issues while in college and uses the product. It has helped him feel less anxious. They have one for children and one for adults. You can google the product and read the testimonials before going to the health food store.

Good luck!

J.

Hi, Jacklyn, I had the same problems with my son Matthew, when he was little. A little old doctor told me he was allergic to milk and take him off all dairy products. The difference was unbelievable. He started sleeping with out screaming. It might be worth a try.

Linda, Downieville, CA

Hello Jacklyn.

I'm a 36 y/o mom of a 2 year old.
Your comment on your daughter not being fully awake during these episode reminds me of what I went through when I was young. I used to scream in my sleep and my mom was unable to wake me up. What she discovered was that I had a reaction to dyes - red in particular. So, I wasn't allowed to have Popsicles, pop, anything with dye in it. And it helped. Maybe watching what your daughter eats will help.

Good luck.

D.

My daughtor used to have issues like that. We finally had to just sit in our room and listen to her scream. I cried for several nights thinking I am a terible mom for not consloing my babby girl. After a week she started sleeping the whole night. The first night she slept I woke up every half hour and went into her room to make sure she was breathing. Now I don't worry about her she has been fine for 2.5 years now and dosn't remember a thing about waking up in the midddle of the night. Good luck You can get thruogh it.

Hi Jacklyn,
Have you tried singing her to sleep? Another thought is telling a story about an animal family (to keep it indirect, which is appropriate at her age) in which one of the baby animals has trouble staying asleep because of strange dreams (or whatever you wish). The baby's mama and papa are concerned because they love her so much......so they cuddle her and sing soft lullabies to her before she goes to sleep every night. Soon she feels very safe and sleeps through the night, waking happily in the morning to greet father sun and all of her animal family.
Another tack: before going to sleep yourself, envision your child sleeping calmly through the night. You can also enlist the help of her guardian angel (or however you view divine guidance) to bring her safe, calm sleep and ask for help for yourself as well! Best wishes!
J. - Waldorf teacher/mentor/parenting educator

try your bed- if you have it wrapped with a plastic for "mistakes" take it off, they get too hot. buy a memory foam topper a thicker one as it snuggles them. My son needed a routine and loads of exercise to get him relaxed. I put on a workout tape (kid style) jumping and such, took a bath, then bed. It worked.
hope this helps.
S.

If she's not fully awake, it's very frightening when you try to wake her. Sometimes you may be able to just calm her down while she's still sleeping, and get her back to a deep sleep again.

For us, the best sleep advice is to follow a nightly bedtime routine that's done at the same time in the same order each night. But that's really more for helping the child to fall asleep. As far as preventing night terrors, I would really, really watch what she sees on television. We're extremely picky about what our son sees. In our house, there are no scary movies, nothing at all with a villian in it, no adult TV whatsoever.

Hope that helps!

Frankly I may be in a minority on this but I would double up a fluffy blanket and put it on the floor in your room (as a mat) and another blanket to cover her. I would find a quiet moment when you have her complete and undivided attention and talk to her and find out what is making her wake up, and give her the option of coming in your room on the "mat" and sleep in your room.
1) you're not allowing her in your bed and set up that precidednt
2) you're giving her an option for confort in your proximity where she can hear your voice reassuring her without you necessarily having to get out of bed
3) you're reassuring her that she's a "big girl" and if she's scared she needs to find the confort in her house.
After a few night s sleeping on the floor, trdging down the hall to your room and leaving her bed she might just decide that her bed is just as good if not better.
Also, you might want to try leaving some music on the entire night, and giving her more toys in her bed as "protectors".
Good luck
S.

Night terrors are hereditary. Did you have them? How about Dad? You are a hugely busy Mommy and I applaud you for all you do every day. I'm sure you are exhausted!! I watched a great program on night terrors and here are some things they said. Put her in a bed on the floor next to your bed. This way she still has her own bed, but as soon as she wakes you are right there. Lack of sleep increases night terrors dramatically. Lights out for her at 7:00 or 7:30 and make sure she is not awakened when a baby cries or anything else during the nights sleep. Also, No caffeine. I know this is a no-brainer for kids, but there is tons of caffeine in ANY form of chocolate. Hot choc is the worst. If something says "de-caffeinated" This means it has had HALF the caffeine removed. It still has too much for a little one. Unfortunately, if this is night terrors (and I would really hope not) She will not grow out of it. She will learn how to deal with it with your help though. I wish you all the best. Your on a tough road, but it will smooth out.

I will pray for you! I am a SAHM of 4 kids. They are 6,4,2, and 7 weeks. I feel your pain b/c my 4 year old has had sleep issues since birth. Really what helped with her was consistency.Being home and making sure she gets a nap every day not matter what seems to be the only thing that helped her sleep well at night consistently. Abstaining from naps would screw up her sleeping for weeks at a time.

I'm sorry - I don't have any advice about night terrors, but I do have advice on you getting some sleep. It is imperative that you get proper sleep on a regular basis - for your family and your unborn child. Is your husband able to pitch in in the middle of the night? I would suggest the two of you work out a schedule about which nights he's going to take where if your daughter wakes up, he gets up with her and lets you sleep through the night. It will make you a better mom and wife.

Jacklyn,
My "help" for you is with the experience of having a son with Night Terror's. If your daughter doesn't do "key tell-tale signs" then it's probably NOT a Night Terror. Then, this response won't help you help your daughter. But, if it is Night Terror's, then here's what I have to say....

My son had "Night Terrors" at age 3, and I am VERY familiar with what goes on. If it IS a night Terror, then your daughter will be waking up sreaming almost the EXACT same time every night. Also, know matter how hard you try to console her, she doesn't want you and she doesn't even know you're there! So, if you have agreed with those 2 things, then it's absolutely a Night Terror! Which is NOT a Nightmare, by the way. Solution: I began to wake up my son 5 minutes BEFORE the usual first Night Terror. After 2 nights, he actually slept through the night! Finally....we were on our way to a better nights sleep! It seemed to have cured overnight, but there were still nights when they came back. I just knew what to do the next night :0) It sounds wierd, but i was actually able to "guess" if they were going to happen that night or not. So, I would wake him up "just in case".

If you missed waking her up, then the best thing to do is to let it "run it's course" and try to let her keep safe from herself. Because remember, she doesn't even know you're in the room. If she does see you, then she won't go to you, because she thinks you're somebody different.
8 years ago I was SO scared, and had never heard of such a thing. My Doctor said that night Terror's and Nightmare's/Bad Dreams are TOTALLY different from eachother. No matter how stable and loving your home is, there is a great% of kids that will have these Night Terror's. My son is 11 now, and his Night Terror's only lasted that 3rd/4th year. It would've been over sooner if I had known to wake him up regularly :o)
Jacklyn, have patience, and good luck. It's very scary to go through this. She'll be ok. Remember: She doesn't even remember screaming (probably).

I'll be thinking about you these next couple of nights!

:o) N.

try a sound activated mobile near her. they play music and sometimes have soothing lights to distract them and come on when a sound is detected in the room. sometimes this is enough to make them go back to sleep without any action of your own. also try not going into her room immediately. see if she not calm down by herself and fall back to sleep. give it 10 min. my son use to do the same thing. found out he just learned that i would come in and comfort him etc whenever he wanted and was doing it on purpose. once i stopped going into his room at the drop of a hat he stopped. of course it took a week of biting my nails to see if he would stop before he did. lol.

I would try rubbing her acupressure sleep points. They are right below the ankle bone. Because she hasn't been sleeping well, they are likely to be sore. So she may not like it very much, but it should help, if you can get her to let you. Try it after bath time, when she's warm and cozy in bed. You can tell her you'll give her a "foot massage" and do that too.
I've also heard of these patches that you put on the points and sleep with them on. I've heard they are fantastic for sleeping through the night. Its not a drug or anything, they just keep pressure on the sleep points so you have sounder sleep.
Go to www.wholebodyharmony.com and on the links you can find the lifewave website. Order the rest quite patches, they are about $60 for a month's supply. As soon as she's used to not waking up all the time, you won't need the patches anymore.
Good Luck, sounds like you have your hands full :)

Please download the free Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) manual at http://www.emofree.com

It has been known to completely dissolve issues like this in just a few minutes. The manual will talk about phrases to use as you do the tapping, in this case it is VERY easy, and you won't need to say anything at all because she is in the middle of the trauma while you are doing the technique. If she won't let you touch her, do it on yourself, around and around until she calms. Do it every time this happens and it won't take long for it to dissolve. When you hear her and wake up start doing it on yourself as you go to her. If you want to target anything, you can use the reminder phrase, "I am safe"
Love, L.

My children are all grown and have children of their own now. I remember when everything seemed to be so serious at 26 for me and I also had 3 children 18 months apart. Thought I would never get past it. But it does pass then you wish you had it back again. My advice is first, find out if your child has any allergies. Mine were allergic to dairy and wheat products. Second, have a radio or CD of music of her liking going on, or maybe even a TV. It is not going to ruin the rest of her life to have a TV or Radio going on, so when she awakes she is not so afraid and will probably go right back to sleep. If in fact they are night terrors she is not aware of you being there anyhow. I think as young moms we want to be so perfect and do such a good job, we forget "WE NEED SLEEP" and this little angel will grow and all will pass. I wouldn't force any behavior on the child, as she probably isn't awake. If she has no other issues about going to the bathroom I wouldn't worry about it. This is common and you have to do whats going to make it easier on you. Trust me. You need your sleep and rest to be healthy yourself.