Help...my Usually Happy 9 Month Old Has Changed Since We Put Him in Daycare!

I started my daughter at daycare when she was 4 months old, and she was probably 7-8 months old before I started to feel really good about my choice. They only reason I didn't pull her out was because all of the older babies looked so happy there. Now that she is 13 mos old, she couldn't be happier there! She loves the stimulation. But, the first few months were really rough for her and for me. She refused to take bottles there (only drinking 0.5 - 2 ounces/day there), refused to nap, and would make up her missed ounces by nursing all night long for the first couple months. Her caregivers were extremely loving, but it just took my daughter an unusually long time to adjust. (She is just a child who is EXTREMELY resistant to change, but I am guessing that this issue would be even worse if I kept her at home with a nanny.) My husband and I already talked about how sad we will be when she has to transition to the toddler room because she just loves her infant room now! I would suggest waiting until he is not sick or teething for a few weeks, plus spend some time looking at the other babies (are they happy? engaged? thriving? at or above average in meeting milestones?) before making any decisions. In the meantime, I can relate to how tough the transition can be! Good luck!

N.,

I am so sorry that this is happening to your son. We put our daughter in daycare at age 9 months too. Since then, she has had 2 ear infections, and has been on antibiotics twice. Each child is so different and it is so hard to determine why one acts the way they do. And as parents, we want to know why so we can "fix" it and make them feel better. As a first time mom, I freaked when our daughter went to daycare, as well as her first ear infection. But, unfortunately, this is all part of the growing process for children, and parents. I found our daughter asserting her independence more since she started daycare. We had similar problems. You would think that a spoon was the most evil thing to her. I wish you well. Our daughter just turned 14 months old and is doing great. Just give it time.

M.

Refusing to be spoon fed is normal...that telling he want to do things on his own.

If he is getting sick a lot. Like for example, having ear infection, colds etc. It is time to look for another daycare.

My son and daughter had similar reaction. I chalked it up to the naps being more difficult and less refreshing for them at daycare. Also, the routine was jacked up - she didn't know when things were happening. I pressed the person that was taking care of them at daycare and found a different solution for napping and made sure that they were more consistent with our schedule and that worked for them. Eventually it all worked out. I also felt like my daughter was punishing me for a little bit, but that seemed to take care of itself as well.

Good luck!

Hey N.,

I own a daycare center and it would be difficult to say since as you said he has a few issues going on. Adjustment to daycare can be difficult for some babies, and the antibiotic can be causing some stomach discomfort which may be why he doesn't want to eat. Teething can also be a reason for not wanting the spoon by his mouth. I would first get a recheck on his ear, my daughter had a terrible time with her ears when she was little and each time I took her for a recheck another medication was needed. It may not have cleared up. The not sleeping can be the ears or just separation anxiety from starting daycare. Rule out anything medical first and as long as you are comfortable with your choice for daycare then he just has to adjust. Just give him as much loving as you can when you are with him and eventually he will feel more secure with the situation. Good luck I know how hard it is when they are so young because they can't tell you what is bothering them. It will all work itself out. Happy Holidays!!

Ear infections can be really painful so maybe it's just because of that. ALso, the antibiotics are sometimes irritating to their little tummies which can be why he is not eating the same. SOmetimes they prefer to suck to soothe the pain. As far as daycare goes I don't know too much about that. I hope your little guy feels better!!

HI N., Nine months is an age when most children start to experience fears and separation anxiety, even if they are home with you. The infection is due to exposure to other chilren and hopeflly will lessen after some time. I'm sure he misses you. Nobody is like mom. I'm not much help because only my last 2 went to nursery school at 3 years old. If he must go then hang in there. Yes it is a combination of both. Grandma Mary (mom of 5 and 3 grands)

Hi. Did you try putting a pillow under the crib mattress? My daughter had an ear infection around that age, and lying flat hurt her ears so much she couldn't sleep. Putting a pillow under the mattress and/or letting her sleep in her car seat seemed to help. Ear infections can make little ones very cranky! He may not have much of an appetite, or swallowing my hurt his ears.

Good luck!!

-Jen