I know it's hard, but try to relax. (And forget about those books for a while!) As long as your daughter is still nursing at least 5 times a day (I think that's the right number for a 9-10 month old) or getting an adequate amount of formula, she's just fine. Solids are just for fun and learning at this age. The more you stress about it, the less she's going to want to eat, and it will turn into a battle. I only offered 1-2 meals of solids at this age and didn't introduce a third meal until the child seemed particularly interested or closer to a year.
I've heard several people say that the parent's job is to provide healthy food; it's the child's job to eat it. You can't *make* her eat. All you can do is give her lots of healthy options to choose from. Most toddlers will take in what they need over the course of a week or two. (They focus on dairy for a couple days, then eat a ton of fruit, and maybe have one day where they eat helping after helping of green beans or something.) Note that the balanced diet also matters less as long as you're still nursing since that provides everything she needs.
Are you eating breakfast when she eats? Maybe you could offer her a little taste of what you have. Also, try giving her her own spoon. Two of my three kids were very interested in feeding themselves from a young age and wouldn't let me feed them much anymore. One of my kids hated baby food and refused all of it; she actually ate very few solids before a year old, but is now quite healthy (long and lean) with a varied diet at age 4.
You might want to skip the baby food altogether and just start offering table foods. You'd be surprised what these little ones are able to gum up w/o molars. My 16-month-old son still only has 6 teeth (all in the front), and he eats almost everything we eat. The only thing he struggles with some are tough meats (like beef/pork) and lettuce, so we just cut those into super-tiny pieces, and he does fine. He even gnaws on raw celery/carrots and does manage to get some small bits into his mouth.
One great first food for babies is banana. You can cut it up for her to self-feed, or just hold the banana and let her take a little bite right off the top. I've shared bananas with all my kids (alternating bites), and they loved it! Your daughter also might like sweet potatoes better than regular mashed potatoes -- I know my kids did at that age, and they still like sweet potatoes.
As for your care provider, I'm sure she means well, and it might be worth listening to her ideas even if that's not what the book says. You're also perfectly free to nod, smile, and then ignore whatever she says. :-) One thing I've learned to do is take in whatever advice people have to offer, keep what works for me, and discard the rest. Usually, there are bits and pieces of good info in there.
Now, go and enjoy your sweet baby girl! :-)