Higher Standards for Our Kids than the past Generation?

The world is not a more dangerous place.

But a lot of parents keep kids in, and they get fat and eventually diseases that cut life short. Not OK. Unless you truly live in a place where shootings happen a lot...kids need to play outside most of the day.

I do not shelter my kids. I am a "Free Range" type of parent. I want my kids to have the same opportunities and freedoms that I had as a child. I do not believe that crime is more rampant today then when I was a child, in fact I know that it is not. I don't want my kids to grow up to be one of the "precious, fragile snowflakes" that the helicopter parent culture is producing. I give my kids credit for having common sense, and I teach them how to live in the world, rather than how to hide from it. I think that by allowing my kids age appropriate freedom I will end up raising competent, confident, capable adults. It helps that I live in a safe community, but I do feel that kids today are in more danger from being overprotected than they ever were from any predators. As for tv, movie and games with more adult themes, if my kids are old enough to be interested, then they are old enough to learn about it. Guidance is the key.

I agree that we do try to shelter our kids from adults things more today than we did when I was a kid. Some of that is because they grow up too fast in other ways so it seems the only way to keep them kids. I believe it is also because when we were kids we were treated as kids but we were secondary to the adults where as today many parents put their kids wants and needs first. I also agree that people (not just children) had more common sense when we were kids than they do now.

As for the sickos, sure they existed and it wasn't "news" like it is now, but I do believe it is more wide-spread today than it was. Between technology to view, share, and spread it, the ease of transportation, and the ease to prey on people via networking sites, etc. is has made it easier and therefore more likely for those sickos to act on their perversions. As society accepts more morally corrupt behavior, the enveolope of what is acceptable is pushed even further.

The world is more dangerous than it used to be with the sickos and other criminal behavior (like drugs and violence) so you can't just let your young child be as wordly as you once could.

Simply put...I miss Mayberry.

You know, S., I do think that there are plenty of scary moments, at least from a child's perspective, which don't make the news because they are domestic situations or ones in which things can feel scary or out of control, but no one calls the police.

My son and I watched "The Red Balloon" together when he was four-- he found it boring. I found it refreshing in some ways that there weren't adults guiding the children's every move. That said, I do know the world is different than it was when I was a kid.

Take cell phones for example. Cell phones cause distracted drivers and cause a lot of accidents and deaths. This was something I didn't have to worry about when I was a kid-- does the driver see me crossing the street? As an adult, the reason I limit my son's independence is because there is high traffic in our area of town; our street is used as a cut-around for people who are in a hurry-- and they drive like it. When I walk him to school, on average I see at least two or three distracted drivers at the main intersection. So, while it would be great to let him walk to the corner store by himself, I KNOW he isn't ready yet for that responsibility-- I haven't seen him display that level of awareness that will give me reassurance that even if the driver fails, my son will catch the mistake before it becomes an accident..

I let my son watch tv shows which don't feature a lot of relational aggression because I don't want to see him behaving in the same ways those characters do. I am actually more comfortable with him watching some minor violence (not that he asks for it or seeks it out) than I am with him watching characters being mean and nasty to each other. Mainly, because this is what our family values. He doesn't need to learn how people are unkind to each other... I'd rather him see how connected we are as a people and a planet, so we find media which reflects this.

As someone who was molested during the 'good old days' by a family friend, I can say that I am thoughtful about the situations I leave my son in. Some people might call that over-protective, but I think it's more about not making him be more mature than he is. I think my son is worldly in to some degree- he knows about the physical world around him; we have seen a lot of different things on our adventures around town, some things I honestly wish he hadn't had to see. (We have a large homeless population here, a disproportionate amount of whom are mentally ill or deeply struggling.) I try to explain with compassion as well as helping my son be aware of what the boundaries need to be-- that some people really need their space and just aren't doing well, so we need to be careful *for* them.

In regard to the movie," Sean", I think I can say that knowing about drug use at four speaks more about his parents having sh*t boundaries than anything else. That's not to be admired in any capacity. My child knows about alcohol and intoxication, but through constructive conversation, not because we were modeling drunkenness.

So, I don't think I am deliberately shielding my son from the world, I just try to be thoughtful about choosing experiences and media which teach him about what's important to OUR family. Those choices won't be the same as any other family, but I am not worried about what everyone else is doing with their own kids... I will leave that to them. For me, worldly isn't about what sort of movie to watch or not to, but it's about having the ability to move about comfortably in the world and get along with people, and my son is not yet seven, but he does have this.

The media actually makes it sound worse than it is...actually I've heard statistics that it's safer today. I remember wierdos when I was a kid...people knew to run or report it.

We had very few news outlets in my childhood...
Nowadays, news is a form of entertainment...the worse the better...it's no wonder we all think the next predator is hiding out side our front door. They endlessly obsess on every little thing and these situations are quite rare.

It's too bad!

The thing is for me at least, is to parent.
How the world is now, is not how it was 10 years ago.
Every time period, changes, like an ecosystem.
And besides, I am not going to parent my kids, by "comparing" me/my kids to other parents, and then try to be like them.
I, parent the way I think, I want to parent.
And I am not going to parent, according to some trend or fad or agenda just to make a statement to others. Parenting, is not some affectation that you do just to make an impression on others.
My kids, are my children.
They are not trophies or a "thing" for *me* to make a statement about to others. And they are not an extension of me. They have their own degrees of able-ness or not.
And that is my job, to know.To know THEM.
And that is not according to some "trend" or fad or comparison between how it was then years ago, and now.
I don't use my kids, to fill in the blanks or to fulfill some current paradigm of how kids should be raised or supervised or not supervised or let loose or not.
Are my kids sheltered or not?
No. But I do not treat them like mini-adults, nor do I teach them to act like it. They are kids. And developmentally, I know them and where they are at.
That is what, I do as a Mommy.
I am a Mommy first.
Not being a trend seeker and then put my kids in that just to prove a rationale.

Whatever a parent chooses to teach or show their kids, is their rationale.
And whatever environment the child lives in, its not like they have a choice. But it impacts them.

What is a naive child?
There are even naive adults.
What is the point?
Comparing one's own kids, to the kids they see in movies, is not a real comparison.
Would you really want your child, to be all jaded and experienced and hardened by life, at only 10 years old? Or 4?
The kid in Home Alone, that is a movie.
The kid in The Red Balloon and Following Sean, those are movies.
Would you really want, your kids to be that way?
Probably the only "real" person I can think of off-hand that grew up like those kids, is Drew Barrymore. She even said she had a screwed up childhood.

Then and now... a child can still grow up as a child, or as some extension of their parent's lifestyle and fads.

My kids are way more sheltered and naive than I was. I was able to run the neighborhood at age 5. My oldest is 11, and this summer was the first time I let her ride her bike around the neighborhood, out my line of vision. Some people argue that times are different, and things were safer when we were kids. My BIL and I have this argument all the time. He says things happened back then, but weren't reported like they are now. I don't care. Because bad things are reported, I can't let go and let my kids roam free. I worry too much. But I'm not alone. None of my friends allow their same age kids to run the neighborhood unsupervised so I don't feel my kids are missing out.

I think the sheltering or lack of sheltering happens on a "need-to-know" basis. For instance, if my kids came home to an empty house after school, then we would teach things to them that pertained to their safety in that situation, even if our same-age neighbor didn't needto know those things yet.
If my kids weren't asking about sex yet, I wouldn't be discussing birth control, even if that child was 11. Or 12. If they aren't there yet, they aren't there yet. If we had a store within walking distance, I would decide if it was safe to walk, and then teach my kids about how to handle money, strangers, proper bicycling on the street, etc. Otherwise, we cross that bridge when we get there.
My point is, different parents, different situations, and different rural/suburban/urban environments will all play into what you feel your kids need to know at any given moment.
Either that, or all of our parents were just bat-sh!t crazy. Because some of the things they let me do (or had no clue I did) would NOT fly in this day and age! And I had GOOD parents! LOL!

My daughter is way more sheltered than I was. At her age I was riding my bike all over town. I did not go home till it was dark. I played in the woods. My daughter can't go accross the street without me watching her. I think though it is because when we were younger tv and news really blew up. Also we had a huge populations spike. You became more aware of the horrible things that did happen to kids. Its not that we were any safer it was because we are more aware now and the population has doubled. So more crazies. Who has empty lots near them anymore where we use to build forts and play? Its all houses on top of each other