Hiring a Housekeeper/nanny. Be My Sounding Board, Moms?

OK, seriously? I don't want to be mean, but you don't "need" a nanny. If you want to hire someone part time to come and clean your house for you, and you can afford that, go for it. But you can handle your own kids. Maybe it's just my opinion and others will say I'm way off, but I think of a Nanny as someone who watches your kids while you work before you are ready to put them in school. If you need some time alone with the baby (and/or to nap), enrolling your son in a part time Moms Day Out program a few hours a week will be MUCH more beneficial to him than hanging out with another adult who isn't his mom or dad.

AND.... as for your dark ages husband... My husband wasn't raised with servents, but his mom is/was super woman-- as far as I know, my father-in-law won't even make himself a sandwich because he's been waited on by his wife. I was doing absolutely everything and was home with 2 little ones (my first 2 are 16 months apart).... I was getting resentful, so my husband and I sat down and made a list of all of our responsibilities. He knew I did "everything" but didn't realize how extensive the everything list was until he saw it in black-n-white and got a big picture of what a typical week looked like for me. He decided to help with things like occasioanally doing the grocery shopping and helping give the kids a bath. I recommend making the list with him and then if he still won't pitch in to help then at least you can decide the things you want to hire someone to do for you and which things you'll still do yourself. My opinion, though, is for you NOT to hire a Nanny, just a maid. Your kids need time with YOU and if they must spend time away from you then at least allow them the opportunity to be around other children.
Just my 2 cents

I had a nanny for my first child cause I worked.. When my second child was born I paid my nanny for 4 days a week for 6 weeks to help me iwth the baby and the house..

but my second child was such a good easy baby.. I really didnt need the help.. my first child was a difficult colicy baby that was awake half the night..

so you may be surprised and get a super easy bby this time..

So yes. it will help you a lot of have someone come for the first 6- 8 weeks several days a week...

and once the new baby is 2 or so months. you can probably reduce her hours..

I always kept a sitter around.. and had her come about once a week or every other week... I did all of my errands on the sitter day.. I did not take 2 kids on errands.. it slowed me down and the kids hate errands..

Now my kids are 2 and 4 and it is muchmuch easier...

W. -- just because you're at home doesn't mean you don't work. Besides, you have a baby on the way. It sounds to me like an au pair might solve your short term AND long term situations. An au pair can give you up to 45 hours a week, up to 10 hours each day on a schedule you design each week (and we know how schedules change). They can also do household related . The intercultural experience is great. I should disclose that I'm a local coordinator for Cultural Care Au Pair (http://www.culturalcare.com), but my experience raising my kids and having young people from other countries in the house was amazing. If you would like more info just so you can explore all options open to you, let me know. In the meantime, rest up! You have a lot coming up :-)

W....I think that is a fabulous idea for you and your kids sake! After raising 4 wonderful boys (with a husband who worked 18 hours a day), I needed someone to help me with a huge house and be there for my little ones when they got home from a play date or be there when they had a friend over. It is very assuring to have someone in the house to do all of the "messy" work when you are pregnant and want to spent time with your little ones. If you can afford it, go for it girl!!

If I was hired to teach a foreign language and then was told to change diapers and take care of kids I would have had to say sorry and quit. So, either hire the lady to teach the language or let her go. Your husband grew up with people like her taking care of him. That's what's familiar to him.

That said...how many hours does it take to clean your house? Do you really need someone to work more than 4-6 hours a day 5 days a week? With the option of working the weekends too if your husband is traveling?

I would say hire someone to come in and clean, do laundry, meal preparation and even cooking ahead, do your shopping and errands in your car or pay her mileage on top of salary, and perhaps you can plan tasks for her to do such as reorganizing closets and storage area so you can put the new stuff that is coming with a new baby in a ready made place. If you want to schedule time daily where you will have an hour or two to yourself then you do need someone full time. On Tuesday and Thursday they can work half days or like noon/1pm to 6pm.

Offer them a schedule like this:

M 10am - 6pm 8hrs

T 1pm - 6pm 5hrs

W 10am -6pm 8hrs

Th 1pm-6pm 5 hrs

F 10am-6pm 8hrs

That's 34 hours. That leaves 6 hours for the weekend to make 40.

Check with your local International House of Prayer(or some other local church). I had exactly your needs for a year and felt just like you. Why can I the usually super mom not handle the 4th with all the grace i had with the other 3? The girl we have used I met at a Starbucks and she has been fabulous. Her parents live in California somewhere and are part of the House of Prayer. Most of the students are young and have some background in helping out around the house and caring for children. She has done it all from helping with a sick child, to helping us move, to simple housecleaning duties, to caring for the kids, being a support and sounding board for me, and watching the kids on date nights for my husband and I. She charged $10 per hour and was worth all of that and more. I say go for it and believe that you deserve this if for nothing more than the sanity. Our nanny gives me the opportunity to nap, read a book, catch up on the paperwork for our home business, get a haircut, grocery shopping, etc. My husband doesn't like our nanny to take the kids in her car either so the nanny plans trips to the local park where I drive them there and I run quick to get a haircut. Other days I enjoy the park experience with her. I felt a little guilty at first but got over it when my sanity, housekeeping, paperwork, etc. was better.

Hi again! I answered on your most recent post. It's a great idea to hire help! I'm getting help with cleaning and it makes my life so much better!

That sure does seem like a LOT of hours to have someone come and help you! I am a stay at home full time working mom. huh? I am a nanny, work 40 hours a week and have a 7 year old and a 4 year old (both boys...I nanny a girl, 3). I do laundry once a week. I clean once a week. Dishes get done after every meal by myself or my husband.
My hubby is Mexican, born and raised in mexico, with a mother who did everything for him. He expected that from me as well...not gonna happen. We struggled quite a bit the first couple of years with him not chipping in and me just getting furious. Just because that is how he was raised does not mean that is how he needs to live the rest of his life! He needs to step up and help!
2 kids and a tiny house (which is what I have) should give you plenty of time to get things done!! I do it with 3. Mama, you just have to schedule your time better. Laundry can get thrown in when you wake up, get put in the dryer when the kids are napping, and put away when they are sleeping. Cleaning can get done on the weekend. You probably could hire someone to "help" you, but I have a feeling you would be falling all over each other and bored. Especially because when a new baby is in the house the OTHER child is going to want more of YOUR attention, not the babysitters.
Talk to your husband, make him understand that he needs to help you (believe me I GET it....my husband went back to work 4 days after my second was born, and I had a C-section!) and save the money that you would be paying a nanny to take your kids out.
L.