Hitting - Chesapeake, VA

Updated on September 06, 2007
M.F. asks from Chesapeake, VA
11 answers

My son has always been a little aggressive in nature since he was born. He is 14 months old now and has in the past few days starting hitting my husband and I when he gets frustrated or doesn't get what he wants. I'm looking for some advice on how I can get him to stop hitting. We've tried telling him no firmly, but he thinks it is funny. Time out is kind of a joke...after all he's only 14 months old and doesn't sit still more than a few minutes in a day. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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R.A.

answers from Rochester on

I have a 15 month old, and she tries to hit too. I just say ouch in a sad voice and tell her don't hit, baby! in a gentle voice. I try not to make a big ruckus since she likes the attention it gets her. If she continues, I get stern and hold her arm down by her side. If I'm holding her, I put her down to sit on the ground. She usually gets upset that I won't hold her. I think that this age will learn that all the fun goes away with that behavior, and they seem to stop. I do know that with my other two it was just a phase, and they outgrew it in a couple months. We responded the same with them.

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A.M.

answers from Rochester on

Hi M.,

My daughter Emma went through this phase. When she would hit I would set her down and walk away. I found that if i responded to the behavior she would do it more. I would explain to her that it was not acceptable and that i would not play with her if she was going to act that way. It helped the situation to just ignore the behavior and walk away. I hope this helps

1 mom found this helpful

C.

answers from Hartford on

My brother had the same problem with his son. They had a nanny while at work & thought that he was being exposed to violent cartoons or something. It turns out that a lot of his aggressive behavior disappeared after enrolling him in a nursery school p/t. I can't speak to your specific case, but in his situation, he was just craving peer interaction and more physical activity during the day. His whole demeanor has changed & he now engages in great interaction with adults and listens to "rules". Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Buffalo on

Just continue to say no firmly and then distract him with something else. It's normal especially for boys. My son is 3 now and still wants to hit when frustrated on occasion. But at 14 months it is totally normal boy or girl. My dauhter is almost 17 months and will do it on occasion and finds it funny. He is just coming to realize that he is a separate person from you . Hitting is him acknowledging this. Hang in there. Just remain consistant and he should learn eventually.

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L.W.

answers from Elmira on

It may sound mean, but show him how it feels. Try crying when he hits you or your husband. That way he knows it hurts you. If that doesn't work, start giving him a little pop on the hand when he hits you or your husband. My oldest daughter used to swear when she heard a friend do it. She was only a year and half. I would pop her in the mouth, just enough to get her attention, and eventually, when she would swear, I just had to look at her and she would pop her own mouth. Now (at pre teen age) she doesn't swear. At least not around her parents. I know it sounds mean, but back in the day, when I was a kid, things were done more extream than how we raise kids now days.

1 mom found this helpful
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F.F.

answers from Hartford on

Hi M.,
I can relate...my son started hitting me and his dad around 14 months also and I to would say "no" firmly but he thought it was funny to. Finally we tried another tactic. As soon as he hit we would say "no" just a tad harsher than before and set him down firmly and ignore him for a few minutes. After about 4 or 5 times of that, he stopped hitting. The same thing worked when he would grab my husband's glasses and throw them across the room and when he started biting. Now he doesn't do either. Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.W.

answers from Rochester on

Hi M.,
My daughter Sophia is 14 months old also, and has been hitting me a lot... she also laughs and thinks its a game, but does it when she doesn't get her way. A friend of mine said that their pediatrician recommended that if you are holding them when they do it, just put them down and walk away. This is really only something to try at home since you obviously can't do that in a store or anything like that. It just shows them that they are not going to get your attention by doing that. Hope that helps for now... and in a few months hopefully words like "no" and "stop" will be more effective.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.P.

answers from Hartford on

M., I have 4 kids, and 6 neices and nephews, this is an issue with almost every kid, and one of many battles where you will find yourself sounding like a broken record. What worked for us is consistency, everytime they hit you or anyone else you look them in the eye and tell them, "We do not hit people" Then ask them what they want or don't want, they are usually trying to tell you something. I think this age is hard for kids because they have limited verbal skills but need to get something across to us. You will say it a million times, but eventually they will learn to use words when they are frustrated or angry and not their hands. Just keep at it.

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R.L.

answers from New London on

My daughter has been going through the same phase for the past couple of months. She's 18 months old. Believe it or not, time outs actually worked for us. Granted, she still hits occasionally, but I put her in her crib and set the timer on my microwave for one minute and 30 seconds. She yells and screams while she's in there, but as soon as she comes out, she's happy as can be and she doesn't hit me again! She may not stop hitting entirely, but it certainly defuses her attention on that for awhile. Good luck.

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J.A.

answers from Syracuse on

14 mo old is old enough for time out... get a special chair.. ssit him in it.. everytime he gets up... tell him no.. put him in it.. keep it up. till he can stay there for 1 min. Once he knows it's not oging to be tolerated to get out of the chair... use a kitchen timer. They say 1 min per year of age up till whatever.. but I say sometimes long enough to realize they did wrong can be fine. So use jusgement but 1 min is reasonable anyhow. Children have no super-ego till around 7 years of age, so reasoning is a hard thing... right now it's showing what is wrong. The whys make more sense later.. at his age he doesn't realize you can feel what he feels.

Good luck.

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M.Z.

answers from New London on

My son is 2 1/2 and he also went through and is going through the hitting stage AGAIN!!!! We found that if we ignored the hitting and distracted him with something else like "Look at that silly bird outside" or something like that it seemed to work for a while and now we have to give him a real consequence like if he hits or throws anything he loses something, like that toy or we don't go to the park, etc... it works now with him but your son may still be a little young, try ignoring the action! Good luck.

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