Hitting - Pompano Beach,FL

if she is still in a crib, you could use that as her time out spot...I have done that with my son who is the same age, and he does not confuse it or see it as a bad space for sleep. If she begins to see her crib negatily, you may have to come up with a new plan from there.

Get a baby gate and put it across the door way of her room, put her in her room and walk away. After you tell her you are very sad and hurt from her behavior. Mine is clingy so this kills her everytime. I remember something I heard on the Dr. Phil show, everyone has a vulnerability, if it's toys or priviledges then you take that away. It doesn't have to be long, just enough for her to know this is a negative thing and that you mean it. Hitting doesn't register with little ones. Plus she will just act out to anyone who is next to her. (ie. cats, dogs or other kids)

Good luck,
Jen

Does there seem to be a pattern to the hitting? For example she's having trouble communicating her needs or is seeking out attention? Are there any jealousy issues (whether it is your older daughter or a family pet)? Sometimes addressing these types of scenerios helps. We have to remember at this age children understand ALOT more than they can tell you (receptive language) and discipline may not be appropriate. If these issues have been handeled or are non existant, express your feelings about the hitting consistantly. Use an appropriate tone and facial expression. Use distraction and redirection techniques. Only use time out as a last resort and always explain! (Simply of course :)) I was a two year old teacher for many years and this methods have always been effective for me. I hope this helps.

Kathryn,
a lot of kids start hitting at some point. It is the way you handle it that will ensure breaking the habit. i do not agree with hitting back. how would a 18 month old understand it's ok for mommy to hit you but not ok for you to hit mommy.
we talk to our two and a half year olds. we say oh no, no hitting, hitting is bad. hitting hurts. it did start long before they turned two and it took several months for the habit to be put to rest. in meantime i started enforcing timeouts. i wouldn't leave alone in her room. she's too young for isolation. i put mine in a corner of the living room facing the wall (whether they stay facing the all or not), 1 minute per year. which means your daughter will get one minute on timeout. then go to her sit so you and her are at the same level and say
hitting not good, mommy loves kisses, hugs. hitting is bad. even though she's too young to understand what you are saying, eventually she will understand cause and consequence. she will put two and two together 'every time i hit, i am put on timeout._ it is amazing what consistency does in the long run.
good luck
V.

I agree ABSOLUTELY...you should NEVER hit your child to teach them that hitting is wrong. Think about the message that sends. I'm surprised someone would suggest that to you. We've been working on using our language telling our son to be gentle first and foremost (telling him what we DO want from him so he knows what actions he can use) and also helping him learn to use his words. He is almost 2 1/2 so a little more verbal than yours probably. We do tell him no, and we do put him in time outs, usually after telling him, if you do that again, you will go in time out.

Whatever you do, be consistent. And know that it will take a lot of time before she gets it and can start controlling her impulses. We have just started to see our son pause sometimes before hitting and actually stop himself from hitting. So take heart, it will get better! Just keep your calm! She's not being defiant, she's learning to express herself and doesn't have good control of her impulses...and needs to be reminded again and again and again...

L.
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i remember when my god daughter was that age and i had all three kids(1mine,2godbabies) she would get mad and not know how to express her self so she would to this i agree with other tell her that that's bad to hit mommy and it hurts your fellings and make her say SORRY for doing it she might not know what it means yet but she will catch on what it means eventully(it will help in the long run to dose wonders for all three now) and tell her if she dose it again she gonna get a time out and if you dont want to stand next to her try a play pin(with nothing in it) if she dosent use it enymore i'm glad you had found a sulition to your car seat issue that was a tough one for me! hope everything gets better soon
H.

Hi, my daughter went through the same hitting phase at about the same age. I would very firmly tell her not to hit you and let her know that it hurts you. It took awhile but my daughter knew that I was not happy by the tone of my voice. If that does not work try the time out chair. First warn her when she hits you the first time. If she hits you again its straight to the time out chair. Consistency is the key to the time out chair. I don't believe in hitting or spanking it only reinforces the negative thing that the child is doing. Good luck.

I have the same problem with my 19 month old son. He was/and still is, hitting. When he does, I will just reinforce that it's not nice to hit and that it hurts mommy. Sometimes I will have to put him in time-out, but I do have to stay close so he won't get up. I don't think I would be able to hit him back though. He only seems to do it when he is mad because he can't do or have something.

I had a HUGE problem with my 6 year old with hitting when she was as young as 12 months. She would beat up other little kids. Push, hit, pull hair, jump on them. She even got kicked out of daycare because she was so out of control and I couldn't control her when I wasn't there. At home when she hit, as young as she was she either sat in a chair for 1 and 1/2 minutes of went in her room and sat on her bed or crib whichever she was in at the time.

Hi C.

I don't believe in hitting back, that just incourages them to hit.I do believe in time out and not hoovering over them. Put them in the naughty corner and just explain why and walk away. if she doesn't stay put her back again w/o talking to her. she will eventually stay and realize that hitting is no right. Afterwards explain to her the reason she was punished.

Hi, I agree with the others and like Laura said, show her what gentle means. I've had this same problem and like you said not very often and my dtr isn't always upset when she does it, most of the time she's being playful. I stop whatever we are doing and with almost a whisper like voice I tell her "gentle" (in my case I say "suave" in spanish)while taking her hand to my face and gently stroking her hand on it and repeating " you only touch gently, no hiting, this is how you can touch mommy, gentle ok" it makes mommy sad (I make a sad face) when you hit her. she does respond well to this and then touches my face gently and repeats what I told her. It won't happen for a long time then when it does it doesn't take long for her to remember that it's not ok to hit.
Good luck
A.

you could try time-out but really what I would do is more like 'social isolation' meaning leaving her alone (in a room) for a minute or two-
for example: you help teach her the vocabulary by saying sternly: "GENTLE!!! to your mommy! GENTLE. (or say 'gentle touches to your mommy" whatever works for you)
then you can take her hand and show her a gentle touch
if she goes to hit you again, do this again
if it's 3 times in a row, the 3rd time I'd say :"NO! That HURTS mommy!! GENTLE to your mommy!" (not screaming or hysterical, but calmly and sternly so she knows you mean business)then LEAVE THE ROOM (thus the term 'social isolation). She doesn't want to be alone, she wants your attention...but you have to teach her that you don't want to be with her if she's going to be hurting you...
HTH