My 3 year old is in daycare b/c i go to school full-time and his daddy , my hubby, just left from coming home for is R & R. Our son NEVER has hit another child...that is until recently. He was acting out a lil especially at church nursery. I figured i'd go to the earlier service since there are always SO many kids at 1030 but today..omg..he whacked this lil girl in the face for no reason. He never does this!! He hit other kids as well and was taking poop out of his diaper and throwing it and trying to eat it!! ACK! His teacher is just as astonished as I am about this. I know he is acting out b/c he thought daddy was going to stay home but he had to leave again. I dont know what to do and was wondering if anyone else had some experience with this. And dont suggest spanking please b/c i dont think that teaching my son NOT to hit when something he doesnt like happens by hitting him is the answer.
I have gotten the book you suggested and he has gotten better about it so far. For the last mother who commented, the point is that he doesnt act this way at all and i think spanking him would be telling him that expressing how he feels is wrong..i need to guide into healthy ways of expressing his anxiety about daddy leaving again. i actually have spanked him on occassion and though not happy to do it it has worked, i dont think that is the course of action for this kind of behavior. this is something different altogether.
Get the book"hands are not for hitting," and have a long talk about hurting people. He is old enough that you can then institute a "zero" tolerance policy. If you hit, you go home. He obviously learned this from some other kid and is testing it out. Cut it off quickly and he will stop.
Maybe he needs to talk about his hurt feelings on his dad leaving and get those feelings out in an appropriate way. You could consider acting it out with action figures or something.
Hi A.,
First, you're right, spanking does not teach a child not to hit, it sends a mixed message.
When your child hits another child, be firm that it is not okay! No if ands or but, it's not okay. He needs to be taken from the situation and allowed to calm down, I don't believe in the typical time-out, I find in the long run those do not work as well.
After you child has calmed down, it's time for you to talk. Talk about why hitting is wrong, talk about other ways of dealing with his disappointment and confusion about his Dad's departure. Talk about why Dad left and when he'll come back. Lastly talk about other ways showing his anger.
Boys have a harder time talking out their feelings than girls do, so teaching him these skills now is important.
Good Luck
R. Magby
spanking would be a bad idea, you are 100% right, i would take away priviledges and objects
