Holiday Madness - Baby's 1St Christmas

I agree that the best thing to do is to be upfront...and to consider this is her first Christmas which is a BIG deal. I would also keep in mind that she should be grateful that you are willing and able to travel there, and if she has a problem with your arrangements let her know you will consider not traveling in the future. Traveling with a child is a big deal and isn't always easy (and the next couple years will be harder with an active toddler!).

Regardless, I wish you safe travels and a merry first Christmas as Mommy and Daddy!

Your not gonna change your mind so tell her how it is. I agree that you guys should stay at a hotel.

Hi, Well what I'd do is 1 night there go out to a nice resteraunt with the inlaws. That way your parents won't be there. Have a nice time eating and chatting. Another night go with your parents. Then on Christmas morning spend a short time with both. Then enjoy Christmas with your husband and child. Their the important ones, especially being your daughters first Christmas. Hope this helps a little.

Tc, P.

I say be honest. Just tell her that you and your hubby like your privacy, and you would like to keep it that way on your vacation. Plus, it's your daughter's first Christmas, and you two want to have some "special" time w/ her alone, as her parents, too!! If she doesn't understand and wants to be confrontational just tell her "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is something we decided and it's final!! Hopefully we can have a Merry Christmas regardless!" I think she will be understanding, but hey...she's not my mom so I don't know if this is good advice or not...lol!! I think you should also tell her that you don't appreciate her being so critical of your parenting! Remind her that your daughter is a happy, healthy 6 month old, so you must have done some things right to make it that far!! Don't let her make you feel badly about your parenting. Mother's mean well, but sometimes they don't know when to stop before hurting someone's feelings. Good luck, and most importantly have fun and have a Merry Christmas!!

Hi Stephanie!
I guess to spare everyone's feelings here, I would just say that I am making this a visit/vacation for our little family. And that maybe you don't want your mom to have to do any more work over the holiday season by having to put your family up for four nights. Reassure her that you guys love her and dad to death and will be spending plenty of time together during the day. Using the cat allergy thing wouldn't hurt either. She would have to understand that. Hope I've helped!
AMH :)

Honesty, Honesty, Honesty!! I have in-laws that tend to be that way and we have learned to just be up front and honest. They have to understand and if they don't that is their problem not yours. Parents can be a bit....hard to deal with but I think you just have to handle it right. You are the mommy now and your mom will just have to get used to it. Try to make light of it but stand your ground. I know at Christmas you just want to get along but if she makes it hard it really is her fault. As long as you and your husband are on the same page it will be ok. Hope this helps!!

T. :)

My in-laws are in Kentucky and the few times that we've been there for holidays, etc. since my son was born has been...well, let's just say it's an adventure. We have done both where we've stayed at my MIL's house and we've stayed at a hotel on other visits. I go for the hotel because we are so packed at my MIL's house, there's no where to go. Besides, my husband basically tells his mom that we just need to have a space for ourselves that we can take a break from visiting everyone. She sort of understood but my husband didn't give her a chance to say anything else. Personally, I think your husband should be telling his mother that you will be staying in a hotel. If he doesn't know what to say, then just say something along the lines of you (as a family) need your space and by staying in a hotel, it will give you a little more freedom to come and go as you please. Besides, you want to make sure that both sets of grandparents see their granddaughter equally. Unfortunately, if she does have a problem with it, she's just going to have to get over it.

I don't know how much this will help you but I want you to know that I am in a simular situation.
I moved to MD in 1994 and married in 1995. My in-laws live here and my family lives in Illinois. We are constantly hearing from my crazy mother that my in-laws have us all year long and Christmas time should be my parents time. My mom is so jealous of my in-laws that she has decided that she hates them. She always makes nasty comments about my in-laws (although sometimes she might be a tad bit right-it is still very rude). I have gotten to the point that I don't tell her when Garrett, my 4 yr. old son is at there house (he stays over night approx. 2 times a month). I don't mention any plans or events we have planned with his family.
Okay, enough history...
For the past 11 years out of 12 we have flown to Illinois for 2+ weeks. We have decided that we want Santa to come to Garrett's house this year. We are planning to leave for Illinois on the 26th instead of the 22nd. We were told that we have ruined everyones Christmas, that we did this just to hurt them, we are being selfish, and that we are trying to disconnect the relationship that my family has with my son. I have tried to explain to my mom that we decided to do it this way for couple of reasons: Garrett should experience Christmas in his own house, and it is nearly impossible to collect, pack and ship gifts from Santa without Garrett seeing them now that he is older.
Not to mention that the visit is not comfortable for us since my husband and I have to sleep in seperate twin beds, in the same room as my son for 2 weeks! 9 people in the same house for at least 10 days, Talk about no privacy. My husband is expected to take 3 of his vacation days to clean out their business warehouses every year!

The only advice I can pass on is set a precedence to what you want for the next several years. Otherwise you will be fighting this battle on an annual basis. I wish we had stood up to my parents 11 years ago.
I hope your holidays are peaceful in your hotel room (I envy you) and you can spend quality time with both sides of the family for you daughters sake.
Peace,
B.