Home Birth Vs. Hospital Birth

You are probably very aware of this, but the post-partum time period in a US hospital is very different. I would honestly say it was some of the most stressful times after my twin boys were born (3/1/09). The constant flow of health care workers in and out with varying expectations of what the babies and I should be doing preventing me from quietly bonding with the babies and learning about them. I was nervous to go home because I thought I would miss out on education and "pampering" time, but once I was home with family help it was much better.

Not going to tell you which is better for you; but do want to tell you you can not comapare it to Japan. Totally different hospital system. Actually people who are well traveled or have live mutiple countries will tell you the gift of child bearing/delivery is one of the biggest cultural differences throughout the world. My step-mother is a native of Japan (here in the states only after marrying my dad). Well she went home to have both of her kids (my kids ages). She did do it for dual citizenship but also because the postpartum period is 12-14 days there. They really believe that your body needs that long to recover and that your body needs to be in sync in order to heal properly. So what you say is true. Many Eastern cultures practice this way. I know of two cutures where the mother does not even care for the baby at all; it is her mom's (grandma of baby) duty. The mom's duty is just to heal her body. So, the best thing I can tell you is just to dismiss your Japan comparison from your thoughts and ask yourself what you are looking for here and now. What part of the American culture do you want? The hospital experience will give you safety, up-dated materials & education, symplicity in paper work and the ability to notice any potential problems prior to discharge; but is a lot of intervention. The home birth will give you less intervention and better more comfortable bonding but lacks the other things I mentioned? So ask yourself what you are looking for. I am sorry many people here have felt that the hopsital experience they have had was less than desired; but know many hospitals here do practice Family Centered Maternity Care as long as it is safe!

S.,

I can't imagine the treatment you received in Japan happening in the US. The nurses come in to check your vitals and that's it. If you are lucky, you can get an ice pack or a Tylonol within an hour of when you asked for it. I had two hospital births in TX and two in AR. Yes, you get meals prepared for you and that was nice. But they bring them on the cafeteria schedule, not when you are hungry. My biggest benefit to the hospital was having someone show me how to wrap and bathe my baby and breastfeed - only necessary for first time moms with no newborn experience. I preferred to go home and sleep in my own bed as soon as possible.

My friends who have home births rave about them. If you aren't concerned about the safety issue, I think you would be much happier at home. I had a friend who had a hospital birth last week at Fairview Ridges and they shut down the nursery, so she just went home because there was no one at the hospital to help her with her baby when she wanted to sleep, take a shower, etc.

Good luck,
S.

They don't pamper you in the hospital.Sure wish they did maybe I should go to Japan and have my next LOL...Sounds amazing in Japan.

I liked my hospital stay I didn't have to worry or think about meals, etc..I could sleep as my kids were in the nursery etc. I had c-sections though.

I guess it would depend on how supportive your husband is. Would he cater to your needs and jump to help with the baby or cook? If you have one of those amazing husands that you don't hear about so often go for it. If you have the type of husband you always throws his bath towel on the floor and has to be told or reminded to pick up etc.. I wouldn't do it at home.

I had both a hospital birth and a home birth. Hands down I would choose home again for birth and post partum. My hospital stay was long, 4 days and they were awful. No massages for sure. I did get fed terrible food, got woken up all day and night for them to check on me or try to take the baby away for something, harrassed by nurses roughly grabbing my breasts and my son's head as we tried to figure out breastfeeding. My time at home included a nice nights sleep. My midwives fed me before they left for the night and then we had friends bring food for that first week. If you are worried about needing extra help,you can hire a post partum doula to make meals, clean and play with your son. Much more respectful option than the medical staff of a hospital. Just my opinion though, maybe someone else had a nice hospital experience, but for me, the hospital stay was a big pain and not pampering at all...and we were even in a very friendly hospital for birth.
Feel free to contact me if you want to know more.
S.

I think that you can accomplish what you want at home, but if you do decide to go to a hospital I want to put in a plug for St. Joe's - the nurses there are wonderful and caring, and they're still going to be checking on you every few hours but they're kind about it. :) The whole maternity unit has a very cozy feel about it and midwives and doulas are welcome.

Don't let 'post-partum pampering' play that big of a role in your choice. I wish I would have had at least one of my 2 at home! I delivered both at Woodwinds, and wouldn't go to any other hospital. But, if I have #3, I am more than likely going to birth at home. I can definitely give you some cons about hospital care: hospital staff come in every hour or two to check on one thing or another, the food typically sucks, and the beds are not big enough for your spouse to come in and cuddle with you and the baby, going from the bed to the bathroom the floors are ice cold, the beds are not that comfortable (especially if you're used to a queen or king). At Woodwinds you can have massage and reflexology done, but I don't think that is offered at many other hospitals. And the day of checkout, you are ready to leave, but have to wait on your doctor/ midwife, pediatrician, discharge nurse, and lactation consultant.

To counter all of that, it will take a bit of scheduling, but all of that can be done at home! 1) hire a postpartum doula - I don't know how they charge, but I would suggest finding someone who is both a birth and a postpartum doula. Mainly because than you can at least submit their bill to insurance, you may not get reimbursed, but they know that a customer of theirs is using a valid health service. 2) Enlist a friend to gather other friends and family to bring meals, have them responsible for scheduling (there are some great free online calendar tools), or if there are any household chores that need to get done in the week or two after baby. 3) Have someone come in to take care of your older son, even if your husband is going to be home with you, have them come in a few hours a day so he can get things done too.

If your parents still question, return to them the question of what did their mothers do or generations of families birthed at home and did just fine in the days following, and it's only until the last 2/3 generations that hospitals came into the picture. Good luck!

Hire a doula who will take care of you those first few days!

There is no pampering in a US hospital after a birth. I went home exactly 24 hours after my daughter was born. My midwife was great during labor and delivery, but then I was left with nurses with out-dated knowledge and expectations, who disapproved of my keeping my baby daughter in bed with me, who threatened to feed her sugar water if she didn't nurse sucessfully immediately, and so on. The food was terrible, my husband brought in pizza and that is what I ate the whole time. The only thing I missed at home was the automatically adjustable bed :) I also did not plan appropriately and have help available at home. My mother had also passed away several years before.

I would suggest finding people to help you at home. Doula's, friends, relatives, whomever you are most comfortable with. Recreate as closely as possible what you would like the experience to be. Enjoy!

Hi S.,

It sounds like your birthing experience in Japan was a dream! Too bad that isn't the case here - I wouldn't call the postpartum care at US hospitals pampering by any stretch of imagination. No one rubbed my back or even took my vitals while I was awake, the nurses favoured the middle of the night while I was trying to sleep. Mind you I had one child in Texas and one in NC so I can't comment on the hospitals here. But both times I got more rest when I was home and had either my Mom or Mother-in-law there helping with the baby. So good for you for having home births!

I think that as long as you're secure in having a home birth and that you have a back up plan in case of an emergency, you should recreate your experience in Japan. Have some friend bring in home cooked meals or go to a Super Supper type place to prepare them in advance and hire an aroma massage therapist to come in. Make it your dream home birth! You want it to be a positive experience and wouldn't it be nice if your second child was welcomed the same way? With some planning you can make it your own kind of home birth! I'm really happy for you and hope all goes exactly how you plan it!

Let us know on this site how it went!

S.

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If you decide on a home birth, you should hire a post-partum doula in addition to your midwife. The midwife will come and check on you on day 1 and 3 post-partum, but for the "pampering" you will need someone else. Interview several and find one that you really love. Make sure you are very explicit as to what you want your doula to do: do your laundry? Give you a massage? Cook food and bring it to your bed? Hold your baby when you want to sleep? Make a list of all of the wonderful things you desire for your post-partum experience and discuss them with your doula before the birth. If you decide to do a hospital birth, I would recommend hiring both a labor doula AND a post-partum doula.