Homeschooling with Younger Children

I know that this won't be much of help, but I am in the same exact boat! I have a 6 yr old and 4 yr old twins...all boys. Let me know if you find out anything as I am having the same issues!

Wow--that sounds like a really tough situation. I am impressed with all that you have taken on, but I wonder if you might consider getting some kind of support--either some help for the younger kids, or find some way to make use of the charter schools that allow homeschoolers to attend on a part time basis?

I agree with Shirley; put them in the same room and teach them at the same time, or give them some activities. Children in public school learn to work with all kinds of distrations too.

I would also recommend that you sign up (if you already haven't) with some homeschooling networks.

You have your job cut out for you. I'm guessing your son is in K or 1. At that age it's all about reading!!! You read to him [the little ones can listen and color], he reads to you. Math can include a lot of manipulatives that your little ones can play with as well [use large manipulatives].

Honestly, your sit down and do school time with your son could be done in an hour. The rest can be learned by play. Science is exploring nature, learning about animals or learning about bodies. Go to the park, look for bugs, watch birds, go to the tidepools, the SEALab, the ScienCenter, the botanical gardens and picnic. Buy a cheap book called My Body. It provides organs and bones that your kids can cut out, color and place inside a tracing of their own bodies! They love it! Who cares if the little ones don't get it and scribble all over the place, it's exposure and they will get it later on. History can be great storytime too. Invest in a book called The Story of the World and the Activity Book that goes along with it. The first book is on Ancient Times. The Activity book has coloring pages that go along with the story. Make copies for all the kids and set them around the table while you sit and read out loud. The chapters are written in story form, the kids won't even realize they're learning! You can have your oldest do the map work provided too.

Mostly, have fun with the kids. They'll learn more and you'll retain your sanity. I have been homeschooling for more than 10 years and have successfully graduated one who is currently doing well in college. Two more to go. I would be glad to recommend simple yet effective reading and math curriculums and share any other tips from my experience. Feel free to send me a message. : )

Dear M.:

"Mmmmmmb B" gave you really good advice and so did many others who understand the benefits of homeschooling.

Here's my contribution, a day-in-the-life from when my kids were 2 and 3 or 3 and 4, etc.: I also had my children close together so I set up my homeschool in the Montessori/Reggio fashion when they were little. They had "jobs" available on little shelves and they could take out different tasks to do and then replace them (these could be baskets of puff balls and a whisk for them to sweep up or hard stencils and pencils for tracing or sandpaper letters to trace with the fingers or a tray of wet sand to draw in, etc.). All these jobs addressed small motor control, color theory and other age-appropriate things. Outside we had a lattice-roofed patio where I set up easels and they could put on an old t-shirt and paint or color or whatever. Also, we had a large outdoor table with clay and a pool full of sand for building big stuff...(Large motor!) They would prepare their own lunch (yes, at two years old they can manage quite well!) and sit at their tiny little table and eat with proper manners off of glass dishes and with real utensils. In the afternoon, we'd sit on a big rocking sofa under some wierd canopy they made of colorful old skirts (kids like tents!) and we'd read mountains of library books together. Then we'd go on "explorations" and find buggies, plants, rocks, shells, whatever and they would place them in their collections (in labelled ziploc bags) or draw them or we'd add photos to their own albums. I'd briefly do some work on a chalkboard where we'd play a game to see who could remember what the letter "b" likes to say, etc. Results? My son learned to read at 3 and my daughter at 4. That wasn't a priority for me but, in a learning-rich environment, it happens.

When babies 2, 3, and 4 go down for their naps, you and your son can do math and writing together. It doesn't take that much time when you're one-on-one and you've been reading all day! (To this day, we read supplementary biographies on scientists, mathematicians, etc., Nature Readers, and tons of history books for fun. We've been doing this since they were tiny and they love them!)

Your only problem, really, is the tantrums. Is he small for a six-year-old? In some rare cases, they still need naps...my son did! Let's say that's not it. Eliminate food allergies, skin allergies and all that and go to step 2.

Maybe the tantrums are strictly a behavioral issue. Try the marble jar. My son was also a he-man sort of little guy and would escalate quickly. I had a large jar way up high and if I observed him coloring quietly, I calmly walk over to the jar and drop in a marble. That meant, "I caught you being good." He'd look up and smile and go back to what he was doing. If he flipped out about something later, I'd just ignore him or if he got out of hand, I'd remove him from our environment. (I'd say, "You are not permitted to yell in our presence. It's upsetting to us. You must finish yelling in your room. Come and tell me when you're done.") Pretty soon, if I thought he was about to flip, I'd just get up and walk toward the marble jar and stand there as a reminder to him of our expectations. (Not in a "bad" way but in a way which communicated my positive expectations that I'd "get" to drop in a marble for him!) In the evening, I'd comment over dinner to my husband that our son made many good choices that day and was learning to master his emotions. My husband would later walk over to the marble jar and praise him for his successes. There was a point to the marble jar. Eventually, when it filled, he could chose an event to enjoy such as an amusement park or a swim day at the beach or something else which involved the entire family. (We didn't do money or toys because we didn't want to "pay" him for being good.) Dealing with bad tempers is difficult and I wish you great success!

Best wishes,

M.

First grade's homeschool curriculum shouldn't take more than 2hrs max per day. Remember that regular schooling is different than homeschooling. Homeschool is more like private tutoring. What you can teach him in 15 mins takes a teacher of 30 kids an hour! The kids are expected to get through a 6 or 7 hour school day, with about 15 minutes of one on one time from an adult! Of course, he would get frustrated!

Make the 2 hours or so everyone's school time, also break up the times to about 3 or 4 times no more than 30 minutes especially if he gets tired of sitting. His stamina for school time will expand over time.

The younger ones can have an art pad, coloring book, play dough, lego building or other activity at the table during the first grader's core schoolwork time. They will learn that this time is for school. They won't want to turn that tv on! At the worst, hire someone for a couple hours a day to watch the younger ones. Ideally, it would be nice to find someone to also make you lunch! During the other's naptime or preschool time do some of the subjects that need more attention from you. Our difficult subject was writing. There is preschool for all kids now such as Headstart, though you might have to wait until the next school year for that.

Majority of that time should be on reading, writing and math. Social studies and science are important, but can be incorporating into reading and writing.

Back in 1st grade, we did the following daily (usually about 1.5 hours) math, grammar, spelling and reading (phonics.) Once a week we worked on paragraph writing; science (often by cooking,) social studies and any core skill that needed more attention. Twice a week we did handwriting and writing skills.

You also might have your teacher support help and tutor some subjects.

Do your activities at the beach, a park or somewhere else outside. Write the sentences or math problems on a brick wall, sidewalk or driveway. Have them circle the subject, verb, adjective, or any other grammar topic. Have them solve the math problem right there.

Science and social studies can be combined with museums, science centers, nature centers and other field trip.

So here's a typical daily schedule of ours back then:
play 20 min
math 20 min
grammar 20 min
play or snack or both! 30 min
spelling 15 min
handwriting (Monday and Wed) or writing (like sentences on Tues /Thurs or paragraphs Fri) 30 mins
lunch
reading 15 min, plus longer for reading comp pages.
varies per day, pick one to do: science or social studies, a field trip or other subject. 30 to 45 mins.

We also read at each bedtime.

Remember to work together, stay positive and use encouraging words. Thank yourself daily....you love him way more than the teacher, of course, so you want the best and only you can give your kids the best.

Hi M.:
My first thought,when I read your request was "I'd be ripping out my hair,if I were your son! While I commend you for the attempt,expecting A six year old to concentrate on anything at all,while his 2,3,and 4year old siblings are running around,playing,laughing and having fun,is ridiculous.Thats why the school system,came up with the (Grade level system Centuries ago). They discovered,that mingling a more mature child with the young ones,not only restricted their ability to progress academicaly,but they had a tendancy to regress,in their maturity,acting less mature,to fit in with the younger group.As one mother said here,you can't educate your child, unless they are inspired to be taught.I had a neighbor years back, that home taught her son and daughter,and not taking away,from those mothers that take great pride,in (teaching their own)Or that are experienced in home schooling,but Both children,became extremely introverted.It was obvious to me, there was a lack of intermingling with other children their own age.I understand,why some parents opt to home school. Some are just plain fearful of our society today. They fear the peer presure our children will be faced with,and the violence that has escalated in some of our high schools.Its natural,for us as parents to have these fears,but we shouldn't allow those feelings,to inhibit us from giving our children A chance to adapt to (The real world)I believe,thats one of the biggest mistakes parents make today.You believe,that if you shelter your children,protect them from this mean cruel world,that you'll have no worries,when really all your doing is preventing them from learning how to deal with reality.This may seem like a silly comparison,but Its like taming a tiger cub,to sit in your lap at home, then releasing him to the wild to survive.M.,Your son,is 4 years older and more mature than your youngest child. Its my thought,that he would love any excuse,to go for a few hours a day,to escape the craziness,and associate with children his own age. I'm a little suprised,that with your hands being (FULL) you wouldn't welcome some relief. Maybe you rely on your son,to help care for his siblings.He's old enough to recent all that responsibility.I'm just one opinion,but I bet He'd be a much happier and more productive individual,and you would to.Give it a chance....If things aren't looking brighter,you can always go back to home schooling.The very best to you M.

Hi M.,

I assume you are trying to do first grade with your six year old son. I would back off on the seat work which tends to emphasize small motor skills which boys are usually behind in. Hopefully you are in a state which doesn't require yearly testing. My two oldest didn't realize we were doing school until about the third grade. Nearly everything was hands on and active. Listen to music - good music, especially classical. Let them dance. Watch the Nutcracker or Swan Lake. Watch them dance. Setting the table is math: how many people, how many forks, how many more do we need, etc. I would read lots of stories (use the library). Make a big deal out of getting a library card for each child when you feel they are ready. (I think we made that their six year old birthday present.) Take lots of walks, go to the park, observe everything around you. Write letters, draw pictures to send to Grandma and Grandpa and other relatives. Make videos (if you have the equipment). Act out the stories you read. Do household chores together: dusting, sweeping, washing dishes (I rearranged my kitchen so the children could load and unload the dishwasher, ie plates, bowls are down low), laundry (they can help you sort colors and fold and match socks), cooking and baking (they can help measure, dump and mix- just be very careful around the stove and oven). Plant a garden or a flower box. Do experiments. Follow their interests. Don't buy video games. Relax and enjoy your children and their individuality. You will be very busy and your motto will be "Do the next thing".
M., retired Navy wife, mother of 4 - ages 22(at UNR), 20(at Naval Academy), 16(at public high school) & 15(will go to public high school in fall), retiring from home schooling the end of May after 19 mostly wonderful years! (We home school through 8th grade, then public high school, then college)

Wow, you are to be commended!! A big pat on the back for you.
Well, what I would suggest is to teach the other while you are schooling one, school them all. What you will find out is they will all learn. Teach in 20 min intervals. That is about how long their attention span is. Then take a break for snack or just air.Don't do this all day long. Set aside 3-4 hours a day. It is best to do this in the morning.
You will do fine. There are lots of moms who opt to home teach now for many reasons. Your children will get a better education. Be sure and buy hooked on Phonics. Its an awesome program.
N.

Please read The Unprocessed Child. Just read right away.

M., read ALL that you can on homeschooling, maybe look into the unschooling approach...you're son may not be ready for an institutional type learning (school). As a mother of five that have all been successfully homeschooled, my best advice is that it's a lifestyle choice. Everything and I mean everything you do can become a learning experience and the younger ones can be included. I'm rather amused by those who suggest he be in school because it's the "real world"...where else in life are you forced to sit in a classroom of peers all the same age? and forced to learn at the same rate/same material etc? Enjoy these years, ejoy your children, they will grow up all too soon. (PS: My oldest has graduated college and said she could NEVER have done it if she hadn't been homeschooled..she did attend "regular school" for 3 of her highschool years).

Hi M.,
I thought of homeschooling my daughter when she was 2. So I did some research like borrowing books from the library regarding to this subject to see what out there. Also, I did research on internet, especially from local area to find resources. As a result, I have learned and understood more about homeschooling. There is an organization for homeschooling that support a community of parents who are interested in this ( I live in BC, Canada now).
I am sure you can find the resources in the location where you live.
I also gathered couple of friends that have kids same age with my daughter and tried out homeschool our toddlers/preschoolers. It was a fun filled experience and we were flexible in terms of activities. We tried to bring variety of things that appeal to kids and invite them to do it. We did out trip according to season (corn maze, local farm pumkin patch, library, playground, swimming lesson, etc). My friends and I enjoyed our time together as well. We ended up have lunch together every time we have school, so the kids also experience different type of foods at each other home. It took time and energy to plan the curriculum. I would recommd a book that written by a mother that have done homeschooling her 3 kids "Teaching your own preschool." sorry I can't remember the author. Hope this helps a litle bit.

Oh My Gosh !!! You are busy !!! My Daughter is in kindergarten and the little girl who sits next to her has the best printing and takes tasks and completes them usually with out any help and I was told by this little girls mother that it is because she has an older brother and when he did his homework this child also wanted homework ... so she was given age appropriate work to do as well. Maybe if you can pass on some school work to your little ones and then they will have an easier time when it is their turn. My daughter learned to phonics at 3 1/2 and then to read by the age of 4... this is because of Nisha's Little Buddies (check her out on line Nishaslittlesbuddies.com) based in Malibu and Beverly Hills... I was amazed by what these little kids can do at such a young age.

I homeschool my four and the first three will be 11,12,&13 and then 7 in July. So I went through this already. I gave my smaller ones things to do while I had time with the oldest one. Things I used, Puzzle Time. Give each child a wood puzzle of 9 to 12 pieces and when they finish they can choose another one. This will keep them busy for about 15 minutes.I had about 10 different puzzles. Next it is time for Play dough. I had plastic dinner mats for kids that the children got to pick their favorite of them I let them each pick a color of playdough that they had to keep on their mat at the table and then each had a can of playdough toys and cuters. They still love to press out playdough cookie shapes. This will keep them busy for about 20 minutes. Then its time for tricycles in the back yard. They could play in our fenced in backyard. Then we did coloring with those big fat crayolas. Crayola brand lasts longer. They still break but not as quickly. I also had sewing card boards where they lace a yarn through a cardboard picture. Then they played with their doll house and toys. I also put paint smocks on and let them paint with Q-tips and a baby food jar lid of water in the paint books that already have the paint in dots on the page and the child just adds a wet Q-tip to the page and the paint appears.If you keep them busy then you have plenty of time to work one on one with your first grader. Good Luck, D.

If it's economically feasible, hire a part time sitter to come to your home and watch the other kids while you are with your oldest.

You may need to get a Nanny to help you out, since your son has higher needs and needs so much more and his temper is demanding. Or, perhaps get together with another home-schooling mom, and work something out together. The other children are too young to be "left out" of the loop and for safety sake too. Or form a co-op with other Moms and take turns. I've seen some Moms do that here.

Perhaps, help your son learn some skills to help him with his frustrations and temper, since it seems to create a hinderance? I'm sure you've done that already. Don't mean to repeat. You sound like a very dedicated Mom. :)

Good luck and take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

I am actually not in favor of home schooling in most cases. This is probably one of those cases. I really would try to work with the school system and see what can be done for your son. Someone suggested that you may need to do kindergarten curriculum instead of 1st grade. It may be that he needs kindergarten again. OR look into a Montessori or other alternative learning environment.

However, if you do home school him, then I'd look into putting the other three into a morning pre-school program. They would be having fun and he would get the attention he needs.

Definitely find a homeschooling group in your area for support, curriculum and ideas. Teaching is very hard work. Parenting is very hard work. Combining them is really really hard.

My son is easily frustrated and does not like homework, etc. I am a math teacher, but I recently hired a teenage boy to work with him after school 2 days a week on his math. When I work with him, it is arguments, pouting, etc. When the teenager is with him, he is cooperative and attentive.

Good luck. These are tough decisions.

The best thing for the other 3 is school them along with the 6 yr old. Theres no harm in that. There are all types of appropriate texts's for them. Google it

This is part of homeschooling! I have been homeschooling for 7 years with four (now 5) kids. It is very hectic the first year no matter what. However, I always put all my kids at the table during "school time" and they are brilliant now. The younger kids played play-dough, played in uncooked rice and beans, and painted a lot. They also were able to get down from the table and free play in other rooms. You can also try schooling during nap time for others. Hang in there.

I homeschool my now 7 & 4 year olds. My oldest is in 1st grade, I started "formally" homeschooling him in kindergarten but I've alawys taught my children.
What I do is when I need to work on school papers with my oldest (we're in a program with a supervising teacher so we have assignments from her) I give my youngest fun yet educational things to do. We have many dry erase practice books, things like tracing the letters or lines (pre-curser to writing), I read all the science books to both of them as well as Social Studies so they both learn about them. I print up fun things to do from the internet from their favorite shows and books (you'll find color pages, word searches, connect the dots etc). I don't expect them to sit for ages on end doing schoolwork. We'll work for an hour maybe and then watch some TV for a show or 2, or play outside or play with toys.
My oldest is testing above grade in everything. He needs a little more work with reading but he is at grade now at least. He can work though the distractions. His teacher has commented on how well he works with his younger brother running amock in the background during things like testing which we do at the school for report cards and such.
Include everyone in the things you can. When you need more one on one with your oldest give your kids their own "homework" which, like I said can be as simple as a coloring page. My youngest is learning so much and it inspired my oldest to keep learning because, heaven forbid, his little brother should know more than him LOL
Also, we do our schoolwork sitting on the couch. They have lap desks. This way we can all sit together and no one feels left out. There is no rule that you have to sit at a table. We don't have a dining room table anyway and no where to put a desk that I would stand in front and give the lesson.
Also, with your oldest, a way to slowly get him to not need you to sit there is to give him something simple and then say you work on this while I go to the bathroom or change a load of laundry or change a diaper or something very quick that needs to be done. Even if he does one single problem on the page praise him. As time goes on he'll do more and more each time. I can now put a math page in front of my oldest, walk away for a couple minutes, come back and he's done with both sides and asking for another. He used to not be like that.
It can be done and it can be done well.
Best of luck! Sorry for the ramble ^_^

First of all, take care of yourself! It sounds like your six year old has problems that should be dealt with in other ways than home schooling him. Frustration is normal and by letting him control you and your other children is not the way to Teach him how to deal with the real world. Perhaps he needs to be in preschool for awhile then go to kindergarten.
I can see that by having him home its easier than getting all the kids ready to go.
You need help. Help would be a good thing. TV could be of help. Barney or Teletubbies are perfectly OK to keep your sanity.
Sorry to be harsh.

Hi M.,

See if there are other mother's in your area who want to homeschool as well. You can each take turns babysitting each others' children or trade off teaching their children for babysitting.

Good luck!

I also agree with Shirley. Homeschooling is a decision that is made as a family, for the family - I believe that it is an activity for the family as well. Your little ones see the fun and exciting learning that is happening in your home - include them in the learning experience as well. If you need some "alone" time with the 6 yo, encourage the other children to go outside and find different age-appropriate things; i.e. 3 different shapes of rocks, 2 different colors of flowers, draw you as many different shapes with sidewalk chalk, etc. For the 2 yo, have them sit quietly for a few minutes with you and color or draw a picture for you while you work with the older one.

You're doing a great thing for your family - Blessings!!

I am going to start homeschooling my 2 older kids next year and hve done some research on different methods. I have found a method that I truly think is inspiring. It is called the Thomas Jefferson Education model, and is considered leadership education. There is a book out called A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver Demille. There are seminars to help you learn what it is in more details and how to implement it. The great thing is that there is no curriculum to buy. It is based on the classics. It is administered through a set of seven principles and focuses on the five phases of learning. You have to read the book to get the whole picture. Oliver Demille founded a college which is based on the principles and phases.You can look at www.gwc.edu or call ###-###-#### to learn more. It is a method in which you inspire your children to learn because you can't educate your children, only they can educate themselves. You can teach them, but it is up to them to truly want to learn and feel inspired to educate themselves. Read the book and you will totally get what I am saying. It is totally changing the way I see and administer education, and it incorporates the whole family because it is a way of life-home life. I strongly encourage you to look into it because I can't convey the great magnitude and implications of it in an email.