House Cleaning - Hephzibah,GA

Honey i know excatly how you feel.I do the same thing everyday.I ask for help from my husband and 2 older boys.They will start to help but in a day or two it will be back to the same way it was.What is sad is my 11/2 year old will put things where it needs to be but the guys wont.It must be a girl thing.So when you find a way please let me know.

Hey C., I feel the same way about my house. I just started bagging up toys and putting them away. Nobody ever seems to wonder what happened to them. It took my 5 year old a month to realize the play kitchen that took up space and never got played with was gone. (I sold it on Craigslist and put $50 in my pocket). We moved 6 months ago and I have 3 boxes of toys, stuffed animals, etc. My girls, 8 & 5, haven't missed a single thing. Just this morning, I'm unpacking those boxes and putting most of it up for sale on Craigslist or ebay.

Regarding the laundry, if it's not in the hamper, it doesn't get washed. I don't care if it's sitting right beside it. With my husband, this finally started to work after a few weeks.

Can't help you with the garbage issue. With the dishes, I had to ask them every night until they just do it. Luckily, my husband will call them back to put them in the sink if he sees it. If they forget, we call them back to do it. It just takes time and repetition.

Also, I'd quit with all the extra cleaning everyday, just tidy up. It sounds like it just frustrates you.

Good luck,
B.

i'M SURE YOU GOT BOMBARDED WITH RESPONSES ON THIS ONE!!! I am cracking up! :) This is the life of a MOm. I'm full time and aslways come straight home and clean and cook, but it's always the same. It's ok- they'll be grown before you know it ( or so I'm told).

Im still trying to figure that one out, I have 5 kids, ages 2, 3, 9, 12, & 33 (yeah I know, my hubby IS a big kid!) Everytime I get my house "spotless" I swear it will stay cleaner longer than the last time, it nevers does, not until your kids grow up and move out or keeping them on restriction until they decide they want to do their chores. Its hard for me to keep up, the trash is always piled up to the ceiling (dont know why no one bothers to take the trash out instead of piling it more and more until i finally take it out and the trash is falling out all over the floor UGH!!!! I dont have the energy to clean every single day but do keep the place picked up and dishes wshed, laundry washed. I have 2 kids with autism so its really trying sometimes to deal with the daily grind. A tip for laundry- get a dish rack (if you have plenty of shelf space) a separate one for each persons socks, underwear, etc. I go thru so much laundry I dont hang up my or my hubbys shirts they go in a basket. Trashcans for every room will help, same with hampers.

Hi C.,

If you think you will get your husband to do it and he's never done it before, think again.....however, if you ask him to be the teacher for the boys, man to man, he may, just may, take on the challenge! I'm past the point of no return and wish I had asked for more help at the beginning of my marriage. Stay with it! If your family begins to grow, as you take on more and more responsibility,the cleaning is not fun anymore. It becomes the chore.

The more my kids help me, the more time we have for the fun stuff. Let them know that...Good luck to you and let us know how it turns out...

M.

C., I use the Fly Lady method, (see Flylady.com)
of utilizing baskets and put things in baskets through out the day in them. After dinner each family member gets a basket of stuff to put away or toss in the trash.

Before I had kiddies, my home was a museum. Everything was put in its place and stayed.
Now with kiddies, things have grown legs and wings and place themselves (with help) into clutter and disorder.

I notice your kids are very small. They can each have their own basket and you can make them take time to pick up stuff and put in the basket. Make it a game and the winner can be rewarded.
I wish you the best with your pursuit of order in a worul of disorder. I am still pursuing this goal.

My advise for you is to marry a woman! HA HA HA HA:) The only way things get done sometimes is by women... My men are absent minded,lazy & leave dirty clothes & garbage all over the house! I am constantely picking up EVERYTHING after them & it does get very frustrating for me. I have tried putting laundry baskets in closets & bathrooms, small trash cans in bathrooms, & ashtrays on the front & back porch. STILL... My husbands butts are always all over (no smoking in the house). Dirty clothes never in the hampers & garbage never in the can. I too am sick of the same routine. I think if we put our heads together we JUST MAY be able to devise up a plan. Any other frustrated Moms on the subject?

C.,
I know exactly what your going through. I'm a SAHM with three little girls 6, 2, and 1. My husband has yet to find the hamper that lies only feet away from his clothes on the floor. Dirty dishes stay were they were last eaten from and toys are everywhere. I do the same thing every day and like you said I like to clean also but it get out of hand when you have to do the same things everyday. I'm finally getting my daughter who just turned six this month to help out cleaning up. My husband expects me to keep up with everything because that's what he's use to. If you ask for a little help maybe he can find the hamper or the dishwasher (even though mine hasn't yet). Is your four year old able to help you put his toys away at the end of the day? It will make you feel so much better if you get alittle help. Good luck!
C.

Throw away the things that they won't pick-up. Don't actually throw them away, just let them think you have. After a few moments of panic because their favorite shirt or toy is gone, they'll learn that they need to clean-up after themselves. Your husband probably feels like cleaning is your job because you don't work outside the home. But you have to teach your children how to do these things for themselves now, or they'll have the attitude that "Mom" or "wife" should do ALL of the housework. It sounds like they aren't even attempting to help-out or maintain what you've already done. Nip it in the bud.

hi C., so sorry to say like you said it is a daily job, the only way to keep your house picked up is to live by yourself, or go around constanly cleaning, i know you said you like but sometime it can be to much, anyway the mess is there like they say get use to it, i live with my son his girlfriend and their baby,well we share rent because it is so hard to make it on your own i have my disabled nephew i have to be home to care for him,so it helps to live with someone,four days ago i washed a load of their clothes i washed i dried i folded and then i told them they were ready to be put away and guess what,you guessed it right, the clothes is still on the dryer where i left them so you see i was not kidding it dont go away, any way i am looking for a friend myself,i really dont have none when i had my kids i was busy raising them, me and my friends dont exist anymore,now i have brandon and the first year and half that i had him he was a very sick child going into hospital two times a month,and i always stay with him at the hospital,so i dont have time for a man either so really need a friend. hope to hear from u soon. good luck with the mess,i got use to it,have a good one. W. and brandon

I totally understand what you are going through. I made a rule if dirty clothes aren't in the closet or in a basket in the laundry room they don't get washed. My husband finally realized that after a week of the same towel after his shower that I was really telling the truth now he changes out his towel when it needs to be instead of waiting for me to do it for him. His cloths get left in the living room on the floor if that is where he left them and they don't get washed. For a while it looked like my family never wore clothes when they were at home. Now I find the occasional pair of socks in the living room but I can deal with that.

I got a box and put a calendar page on the front of it and collected toys and misc. things and put them in the box. I marked everything on the box when I put it in and I put the box where everyone could see it and no one was allowed to take anything out of the box for one week. My husband begged me for his tape measure one morning and I told him I am sorry you didn't put it away you don't get it for 7 days.(He is in construction) I finally had to give in but he sure did start putting his things away! My son's room is a mess but it isn't in the main part of the house so i don't really care. I figure I will tackle the room when I finally get the play room set up.

As far as dishes I clean up after dinner and put everything away if I find plates in the living room in the morning I leave them and my husband thinks it is the grossest thing to find dirty dishes somewhere else in the house.

Hope this helps!

B.

Hi C.. I feel your pain I have the same problem. I work nights so my fiance is home with the kids. When I get home at night the house is a mess. It takes me all day to get it cleaned and on my days off that's all I do is clean. It does get frustrating. But just take your time and it'll get done, eventually.
L. M

I have had the same problem in the past with a 3yo and 1yo...I use to try and make sure my house was spotless, but now I make sure it is clean and safe for them but as far as spotless...I opted to just not worry as much about that and concentrate on spending quality time with them I figured I have many years ahead of me to worry about cleaning house when they are older and don't want anything to do with mom.

God Bless,

C.

Sweetie, you've got to lower your standards! The more you clean, the more you clean. Period. There is a great book "Side Tracked Home Executives." Get it from the library and read it. It just might change your life! I know it did mine! Good luck and please make time for lunch with a friend. You need your batteries charged so you can be the best mom you can! And, you deserve a break!

S.

It may seem harsh, but my mother did this to my sister and me when we didn't pick up. She threw whatever we left on the floor in the garbage. We caught on really quick. It may get your 4 yr old to learn to respect his things. Let them know you will do this from now on and then DO IT. You don't have to actually throw it away, simply putting it in a garbage bag may drive your point home. You may have to "hide" the garbage bag and make them "think" it's gone. Give it a try....

GO TO FLYLADY.NET !!!!! I read about Flylady here on mamasource and it is the best thing that ever happened for me. I work a full time job have custody of my four year old nephew that has Cystic Fibrosis and now his mother and newborn brother live with us and my house used to always be a diaster no matter how hard I tried and this site teaches you not only how to keep your house clean but how to truly organize your whole life. I know it sounds crazy and you will never think it works but it is an amazing site. Give it a look...

Check out this web site:

www.flylady.net

It's helpful with routines, strategies, prioritizing, cheerleading!

Hi C.,
This is a hard one that I think at least everyone deals with. I don't have that much advise as far as it goes, but maybe make a deal w/the hubby that if you cook, he does the dishes or vise versa. That's how we do it in my house and it's awesome.
It's a team thing and that's how it should be. Now if I know my hubby is doing something with the kids, I'll go ahead and do the dishes anyways cuz he's doing me a favor by entertaining the kids.
Make cleaning up fun for the 4 year old. Maybe make it a race and if he can do it in a matter of such and such time, he can have a treat or something. But at that age it's hard, because Im not sure they have the clean up concept. Just some simple ideas, hope it works out.
Oh and p.s. I love to clean just like you, haha... I thought I was the only one who enjoyed it. lol.
Good luck to you!!!

The FlyLady website is great for adults !!!! She has a lot of great ideas. Lots of encouragement too.

There is also a website for kids. She is called the House Fairy. The website is http://www.housefairy.org/

Hope it helps !!!!