How is your Valentine's Day going?
My dear husband decided he would split his taxes with me this year. He told me I would get half and he would get half and we could spend it however we felt like. Thanks to him and his generosity I was able to payoff my collections and Capital One card, buy contacts and a new computer. I had enough left over to the point where I was trying to figure out how to spend it all.
Our truck hasn't been working for the last month and my husband has been working on it. Today is Valentine's Day, right? Well I just got a call from him saying he took the truck in to get it fixed and the guy quoted him 750$ or so to fix it. I told him okay. Then he says How much you have left? I told him and he says" Well, the guy figured out what the problem is but if the head is cracked it will be 1,000 or more, and you're going to pay for it."
Say what? Now I'll be honest. I had plans for this money. I was going to get a brazilian wax done for his valentines day present. I was going to buy us toilet paper from Costco because we're out of toilet paper. I was going to buy us a stock of diapers for my daughter who is potty training and still isn't potty trained yet. I was going to get our carpets cleaned because they're gross. And most importantly I was going to save most of my money, put it in savings so we could start a downpayment for a house.
And he wants me to pay to have the truck fixed. So that I can go buy groceries. So that I can take my kids to the doctors in the event of an emergency. So that we can go to church on Sunday.
And why am I so mad? Because the truck broke down and we can afford to have it fixed NOW. Instead of trying to figure out how to spend my money, God happened to give me something to spend it on. Instead of buying all these frivolous things, why don't you do something worthwhile and fix the vehicle?
Now, while I'm paying this bill I will have to be thankful for what I have. We are not in need of food or clothing. My kids have every toy they could dream of having. We have no debt whatsoever, and now soon, I will have a vehicle in working condition. I think life is very good :)
P.S. I told my husband instead of flowers and chocolate I wanted him to pay to have the truck vaccuumed and shampood :P I only think it's fair. I mean. I fixed his truck for him for Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day!
For those of you who aren't happy with how I wanted to spend the money.
Who cares what I wanted to do with it? It was our money, not yours. As for how much money my husband makes? He got a large raise since that last question, so before you start telling me what I can and cannot afford, here are a few things worth remembering: You don't know me, and you sure aren't the person cutting the checks.
I wanted this to be a civil discussion as to how your Valentine's Day was. Not a thread where you rip into me because you don't agree with anything I said.
What am I doing.
I am sitting here alone because my husband is in a war zone.
Be glad you have him here to to worry about getting his truck fixed.
What did he do with HIS half of the money? Hmmm?
Well, ya'll do need transportation. Tell him (don't ask) to split it with you.
We're not doing much tonight. I'm making dinner and we'll probably cozy up on the couch and watch America's Funniest Home Videos (my 7 year old's favorite :)
I'm kinda scratching my head and wondering what's all this "he's paying" and "I'm paying" for it business? You are wrong. You DO have a job, it is called being a stay-at-home-mom. My husband knows better than to try to make me feel like the money that he makes at his work, free of all the responsibilities of taking sick days for the kids, carting them to activities, doctor & dental appointments and play dates, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing all the bills, buying gifts for everyone, etc. He is free to work as much as he does because I do everything else at home and for the kids. "His" paychecks are actually "our" paychecks. There's no calculating who is costing who what. Our costs are our costs, and they are covered.
But, in answer to your question, tonight my husband is actually coming home for dinner with me and the kids. I skipped the kids' naps so I can put them to bed early, and then my husband and I will watch the James Bond movie "Skyfall" on OnDemand, and try to get to bed by 10 pm.
ETA: Change of plan - we decided against spending $6 for the Bond movie and instead watched "Under the Tuscan Sun," which was free. Didn't quite make the 10 pm bedtime, since I remembered I had to wash my son's uniform pants.
Wow, and do you walk 5 paces behind him as well?
:(
Maybe it is just the way my husband and I are, and the way we handle our finances but it's OUR tax money. I do not have a job outside the home either. But my husband has the money deposited into our joint account and we talked about what the things we need the most. The priorities.
Your truck needing to be fixed, is a priority. BOTH of yours as a family. You both use it, why does it have to be only one of your's responsibility to pay for it?
Instead of splitting the taxes in half, why not pay to have the truck fixed from the whole of the taxes money, and then after that is taken care of, decide what else you would BOTH like to spend the rest of the money on, and how much you both want to save. The down payment on a house, it wont just be your house, or his house. It's YOUR house. Your a team.
As for us, we are trying to figure out what to do with our son's new bed. The bed we bought and the mattress aren't the same size like they should be so it doesn't fit :/ soo we will probably have to replace it. No fun. But we are having a night in at home with dinner and a movie. I'm making steaks and he's choosing the movie :)
I am sitting here amazed at the fact that you see the EIC as mad money. I am pretty sure a Brazilian wax was not what they had in mind....
Oh, if you are wondering I plugged in the numbers from your whining about how little your husband makes and concluded you cannot withhold more than 2,000 dollars so for you to blow that much you would have to have received the EIC. Kind of glad Karma jumped in and compelled you to use it for something it was intended for.
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I am not cutting the checks but if you got an EIC I sure as hell are one of the people how paid that money to you! Even if your husband got a huge raise after your June 16th whinefest that would not have impacted your withholding enough to account for you having that spending spree and still having a thousand left over to fix the truck when you only got half!
Sorry but you are a part of why our government is running a huge deficit and it is more than slightly irritating. You said you are on WIC, can't remember which other programs but Brazilian waxes? Sorry but stop taking everyone else's money and claiming you earned it.
ETA: Ok that makes more sense that he fixed another truck up too! Got it! Still in our house (we both work he works from home) we have accounts for his, hers, & Ours...all tax returns go into OURS.
As for celebrating, we do things for each other throughout the year. We will most likely veg out, no school for the kids tomorrow, so probably a movie...but still have to work tomorrow.
Original:
Do you have the one vehicle? Then yes, it is important...however, I'm so lost in this question. His taxes, his money to share with you? are you not a contributing member of the family? Including but not limited to SAHM? I mean that is work! Sorry, that would bother me more than having to give back money to fix a vehicle.
My first thought ? If you fixed your withholding, you wouldn't have to wait for once a year to have money for unexpected expenses.
Where is your emergency fund?
You'd also have fund for a downpaymentnif you didn't have the Federal Gov. Holding your money for you!
But that's not what you asked, right?
Yes, fixing the truck comes before Brazilian wax and tp and diapers should come out if ghe monthly household budget, IMO.
I have been there we are grown ups. We do what we have to do.
We have been so broke, we only had popcorn to eat.
So broke we sold bottles back to the store.
So broke, we went through the sofa, and living room chairs, all of our coats, jackets, my old handbags, and all through our cars looking for change.
But we had each other, we got through it each and every time.
Tonight, I am being treated to a nice dinner out at an old local restaurant, then we are dashing home to watch one of my very best friends on TV.. He is on this seasons "Project Runway". I am so proud of him. He has worked so hard for everything. He comes from nothing.
I live a charmed life. It is the struggles, that my family has survived together, that gives us our appreciation of our lives. I will never take anything for granted. When my best friend /business partner died last year.. We both said, we had no regrets. We had said everything to each other and had an honest friendship.. I want that to be the way I am with everyone in my life.
My husband and I went out for a nice lunch today and the boys and I will bake cookies tonight.
If my DH told me to fix his truck, I'd be peeved. I hope he was nicer about the way he handled it. He could have said, "Honey, I'm sorry, but the truck might be more like $1000 and I will need to use some of the money I planned to split with you for the repair." There are ways to share a family burden without being dictatorshippy about it. You can still be grateful for what you have while expecting and receiving some respect in the meantime.
Me? I'm getting take out brought home and will spend the night in with my DH and DD.
We are picking up heart shaped pizza and eating with the kids. After that my husband is going back to work to study and get some stuff done because he is taking the day off tomorrow because I have work and then 5 hours of CPR training. I got him a card and big chocolate bar.
When we get large amounts of money like a tax return he shares a chuck with me, takes a chunk for himself then puts the rest in the bank for expenses like car repairs etc. Then no one feels like they have to hand any money back.
Not doing anything - hubby is still waiting for his paycheck that was due Feb 1 so no money to celebrate V-Day. Heck, I'll be lucky to get my house payment made without late fees!
Good luck with the truck!! Fixing the truck, vacuuming&shampooing it sounds so romantic. j/k..I totally understand the practical gift giving. But...maybe sometime soon you two can sneak in some alone time in the back of that pickup ; )
We are spending the evening together with the kiddos. We will make homemade pizza together then all watch movie. THen after the kids go to bed we will enjoy some alone time together.
We don't do expensive stuff for each other for the holidays. But, my hubby surprised me this morning when our alarms went off. My eyes cracked open and he shoved a card in my face. I opened it and could barely read it squinting through my sleepy eyes.
It was a corny lovey dovey joke card that included how much he loves my butt. Oh boys..boys will be boys...forever. Then I opened the gift card. He bought us a month of dance lessons at a local dance studio. I am so excited!! A month of date nights for us already paid for...and we will learn some new dance styles. ( This will come in handy when we go to Cabo San Lucas in the spring for his business trip.)
I love this man so much...he is my happy place!!
As for me..I got him a sweet card and a gynormous bucket of mixed nuts. I put a little sign on the nuts that says, "I am still NUTS about you"!! He also knows that I have chugged down some Pepsi throughout the day so I will be on a caffeine high tonight after the kids go to sleep.
Happy Valentine's Day !!
My ex once bought me a transmission for my old van for valentine's day. I was thrilled beyond words.
I'm not going to comment at ALL on your valentines day. I can't relate.
Today I went to the gym and swam for an hour. I had a girlfriend over for lunch. I wrapped a gift for each of my kids and wrote out their cards. I went to my son's soccer practice. And now I am sitting here with my 3 kids at 8pm, while my husband runs off to get me "something" since he didn't get me a thing for V-day.
...which is why I'm separated and spending Valentines Day with my son.
To answer the title question, we got Chinese takeout and watched Doctor Who episodes from the 80s.
I could be misunderstanding the situation in your household, but the way you described things, it sounds like you're treated as merely a dependent rather than a wife.
Half of "his" tax return? If you're married, it is called 'our' tax return. (That is by law, not a marital choice.) Your info and your child's info are also on that tax return, regardless of where the household income came from. It is not his/hers. It was never his property to 'gift' to you. It was always equally yours.
The thought that you needed this "gift" of money to get contacts and buy toilet paper offends my sensibilities. Maybe you didn't meant that you couldn't otherwise buy them, but that is how you wrote it.
The truck repairs, the household needs, the diapers for your kids....all of this stuff should be We things. Couple things. Together-as-a-team things. Do you not have a household budget that you work on together? Joint goals to pay off debt, save for the house and other future plans?
ETA: I just looked at your past postings. Things are more clear now. You're in a really poor marriage and probably don't know how a good one is supposed to be. Please seek marriage counseling. You don't have to stand for this kind of life.
Yeah, I'm with AV--I hope that he didn't demand your money. I'm glad that you have a great attitude about it.
We don't do Valentine's Day in my house--just don't care about it. I just talked with my husband, though, and he said that he wishes he had known that the Die Hard movie starts today because he would have enjoyed taking me. I love the Die Hard movies, but I'm not in a big hurry for it. I've got my standing weekly hair approintment this evening, and I'm kind of excited about that.
