How Can I Be So Lonely ?

I lament with you..........I wish I had more girlfriends. I love my husband and he is my best friend and we are wonderfully in love, but I wish I had more girlfriends. You know, the kind you take trips with, without husbands and kids, and know their kids and they call you "Auntie ...." Those kind of girlfriends.

I too have felt the same way on and off. I think exercise helps tremendously. If you can commit to walking 2 or 3 miles 5 or 6 days a week, you will be amazed at how well you feel - not only physically but also emotionally. You are NOT abnormal. I think its very common. I wish you blessings!!!
N.

K.

I have had many changes in my life and at times have felt overwhelmed. I went to Sprouts at Davis and 1709 and talked to someone in the supplement department. She was wonderful and recommended a few things and after a few weeks I could see and feel a difference.

Hope that helps.

You're not crazy. It sounds like you're stressed. Women thrive on the deep conversations. You might want to ask him if you can just talk to him about stuff and let him know he doesn't have to solve it, just be an ear for you. Maybe take a look at all the social things you do - figure out which ones you don't feel tired (or as tired) after, who the people are that make you feel comfortable or energized, and concentrate on socializing with them. Don't spread yourself to thin.

Take care and good luck!

How's your walk with the Lord? I felt the same way until I decided I needed to study the Bible and learn more about the Scriptures. We've done some book studies, and I've found that Beth Moore's book Get Out of That Pit (or something like it...I would have to look it up because I don't remember titles very well) really helped me take a close look at my life and figure out what I needed to work on. My sister-in-law, in particular, says she really sees a change in me, and I feel relaxed and at ease with life in general.

Have you tried a MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) group? They may not have too much going on in the summer but will gear up again in the fall.
If you are in the Dallas area, I know there are groups at Preston Road Church of Christ (Preston Road & University; ###-###-####) or Wilshire Baptist Church (Skillman & Mockingbird area).
If you are in the Abilene area, there are groups at Highland Church of Christ (Sayles & S 5th; ###-###-####) and Beltway Baptist.
Just call the offices for information on who to contact or check the MOPS.org website for groups close to you.

I can so totally relate K.. As Lynn (the Life Coach) recommended, I also HIGHLY recommend a program that's supposed to be very similar to Pathways. It's called Discovery (www.Discovery-Training.com I believe it is.) It's been life changing for hundreds if not thousands, including me. It's not religious either. But I will say one the the BIGGEST factors for growth and fulfillment in my life has been a growing relationship with the Lord. I am far from religious and being a Christian has nothing to do with the rules that you so often hear. (Go to church, read the Bible, tithe, serve, yahdah, yahda, yahda...) It's about a PERSONAL relationship with Christ and letting Him, or the Holy Spirit fill you like no MAN or any THING in this lifetime ever will. I so don't want to push this on you, but it would be absolutely wrong not to tell you. If you find the right church to guide you (I suggest a Bible Teaching non-denominational church) you will grow if you want to. I have lived in the Dallas area without family for 12 years now as a single mother. (Talk about lonely...a single mom with a young child now 5!) It's been my saving grace.

That's where you will find true LOVE, PEACE, GRACE, FREEDOM. That book another mom mentioned to you is supposed to be wonderful (Get Out of That Pit! I have it but have yet to read it.) Another awesome book, Captivated.

Who knows, it might be worth a shot. That's how I got where I am. I said, "Okay Lord, if you truly are who you say you are, SHOW ME!" ;o) It's not been magic; rather it's been a slow, long process but I will ABSOLUTELY NEVER turn back.

My heart goes out to you.

S.

Dear K.,
I won't be surprised if you hear this over and over again, but here goes - go to the Lord. I used to feel the same way as you, and couldn't understand why when I was surrounded by friends and otherwise had a wonderful life. I was a Christian, but didn't read the Bible because I thought I already knew what it said. What I thought I beleived was good enough. Boy, was I wrong - and wrong in the most wonderful way! It sounds to me like He's calling you to nurture a friendship with Him! Sometimes He shuts off the joy in other parts of our lives so that we will come closer to Him - and give us more joy. Start reading the New Testament first (in modern English) - Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, etc... It may sound backward, but it will prepare you for the rest. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life, but I guarantee that if you carve out just 20 minutes each day to study the Bible and talk honestly with God, you will see long-term refreshment and your lonliness will make it's reason clear and solvable. If you're already very familiar with the Bible, pray through the Psalms, remembering that someone over 3,000 years ago felt as you do now. Take care of yourself, and last but not least, God bless you!

I totally feel the same way. I need to get out of the house from time to time and be with other ladies. People that don't judge me. I am really looking for that special group of friends simular to Sex and the City that know me for me. I know I can trust them with anything and will get honest help or advice. I want someone that wants to do the things I like instead of me always pleasing everyone else. I want to have a work out friend that I know I can count on to be there and who will encourage me. I want some one that wants to go out shopping together or see a movie together or just take a weekend and go out of town. Sure I have friends and my husband is a great man and I love him, but I haven't found that special someone yet that fills all of those things. Well actually that is a lie. I have only she is 5 yrs old. I keep telling my daughter she is my best friend because she does like to do all of those things. I love being a mom, but I need some adult girl time too.

Honestly, I think it is hard to find a "close" friend once we are adults and have children. One of my closest friends from highschool has been living in NY for the past 6 or 7 years. She recently moved back and we spent the night with them. It was SO great to see her and we even said that you just don't have that bond with people you meet now like the bond you created when you were young.

ANYWAY, I recommend you join a book club or scrapbooking club or some other female activity where you potentially could meet a woman that you could be friends with.

When I moved here to Texas, I went to a company Xmas party and I actually reached out to the wife of one of my male co-workers and we became great friends. Sometimes, you have to make an extra effort to find someone that you can be compatible with. I am also very fortunate because I found another woman at work who has a son the same age as mine and we have become good friends. As much as we like each other, it is very convenient to have children the same age as we do things with them too.

OH, and if you don't have it now, you may try to find another couple that you can do things with - get babysitters and have some adult time with another couple.

-L.

I totally get where you are coming from. The only answer I've found is that when I feel lonely it is because I'm not building relationships with others. I think the past 20-30 years there has been such an emphasis on self that we've kind of forgotten how to build meaningful relationships. Also just all the fear of misinterpretation (can two girls be close friends or two boys) that it seems to stigmatize any deep friendship. I have been fortunate that while growing up I had some very deep friendships and so I know what they feel and look like and what it takes to maintain them. Really it just takes one solid relationship to really make loneliness go away. Also as I've talked to older women (70+) they all mention the same thing. Girls should have girl friends and guys, guy friends. It protects your marriage and it protects you from sharing things that you should be sharing with your husband. Activities may keep you busy but they take energy more than they give. Just find one lady (church, other soccer mom, neighbor, etc) and connect with her. We all need someone who we can call or visit and just be refreshed and in return refresh them. -J.

I think that whole in your heart is God tugging at you. I heard you talk about everything else in your post but Him. You will be amazed at how much He can fullfill your life!

Thw wonderful thing about going to church or a biblestudy is that you will meet wonderful woman who you can pour your heart out to, woman who will love you for who you are and not judge you.

Good Luck, I will be praying that you take my advice and give God a try. I know you will have a renewed feeling in life!

Hi K.. You are not craving activity, you are craving intimacy. And no, you are not crazy. Humans were created for intimate relationships with each other, and especially with God. When those things are lacking we feel empty and lonely, no matter how busy our social schedules may be. My advice to you is to get to know God; if you already have a relationship with him, focus on making that relationship grow deeper. The Bible says to "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart". God knows that we desire intimate connections. He wants to provide that and help enrich our lives in every way possible. If you want suggestions on where to begin, post me back and I'll be glad to try to answer your questions or offer you some resources. Good luck and God bless.

Hey K.,

I feel for you in your time of loneliness... Please do not take this response as judgmental but I just noticed so far no one has mentioned your relationship with your husband. You may have good relationship with your husband but what about being "being married to your best friend". I truly believe that isn't just a fluke that happens to some woman. Yes.. girlfriends our nice but too many "girl" discussions can actually be damaging to your marriage relationship and actually tear you further apart. Friend relationships have a place but your relationship with your husband is the most important. You mentioned that your husband isn't the type to have deep discussions but maybe he just approaches things differently. He may not need to discuss his "feelings" but do you ever ask him about the challenges he faces? Sometimes loneliness can happen when we focus too much attention on "our" problems and we don't look to the needs of those closest to us... those who we have promised to cherish and love to the end of our days. Two books you might be interested in reading are "The Love Dare" by Stephen and Alex Kendrick and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr, Laura Schlessinger. They have really helped me to understand what I can do to help nurture and keep my marriage alive and exciting. Don't get me wrong... my husband and I have never had "problems" but a marriage is not just a sprint it is a marathon or a hike in which each turn in the path should get better and better.

With all the social networking media around now, no one should ever feel lonely. Women are the great communicators and we have a need to advise ( hence the success of mamsource, facebook, twitter etc) and to talk. As we grow up and move and leave our best girlfriends in other cities it is easy to become disconnected from those relationships that brought so much fulfillment. Our children take over our lives and we get a bit lost for awhile.It takes some effort to get old relationships with pals back and to forge new ones.

I found my best girlfriend from childhood by googling for her. She has an unusual last name and had never changed it so was pretty darned easy to find. Her name just popped into my head one day and I thought, hmmm wonder if I can find her? Now we email several times a week, talk usually once a month ( she is in a considerably different time zone or we'd talk even more). I even found out her mom lives about 6 miles away so when she came home to visit last summer, I saw her for the first time since we were 9! It is like we never grew up. That childhood bond was strong and we just picked right back up where we left off over 40 years ago!

When I started my facebook account I found 60 of the 90 people that were in my particular major at the University of Texas. We had been a very close knit group and scattered to the four winds when college was over. In ten days, via facebook three of us put together a reunion just three months after we began our search for people. It was fantastic to see everyone and to now be back in pretty constant touch via facebook and email with many of them. I'm sure there are great friends you have, that may be in other cities, friends that you really connect with. Make time for them again, find them again. Our lives are so full that often connecting via phone and email is the way to banish that lonely feeling forever. Give it a shot. I think you will be surprised. Meanwhile, think about who you know in your circle of acquaintances and I bet you can think of at least two that you'd like to get to know better. Reach out and ask one of them to coffee. Often you have to be the one to "open up" first and share a story, then they will, and you are off to creating a deeper bond.

You and your husband may need to rekindle the magic. Plan a date night monthly, where it's all about the two of you, explore a nice restaurant you haven't visited before.
Invite your husband walking with you; walks are great for conversation. If he can't find the time for private talks, shower with him. There are some great books out there, "The Love Dare" and "The Five languages of love".

You have had lots of responses but here is my two cents. I went through this 7 years ago. It turned out my thyroid stopped working. It is a family trait and I expected it, but it still snuck up on me. Go to the dr and have a check up. Have him run all the tests for hormones and find out if the symptoms are physical in nature. Also sounds like you need some time to do just what you want to do. have hubby watch the kids for an afternoon and go to your favorite store. Also, most importantly spend some time with the Lord. Excersie will help get those feel good hormones going.
You are not alone. Hang in there...

N o you are not I been married for 23yrs, and fill the same way i think you are right maybe you need some gilr time to vent that sounds good you can email me what arear you live in i live n plano also i am a mother of four.

This answer is a little unconventional, but bear with me. My feeling (and certainly how this played out in my life and my dear friends' lives) is that a deep inner loneliness is a sign that there's something unresolved within a person. The fact that you have a husband who sounds like a decent guy (not that he couldn't improve in the communication department) and a lot of acquaintances and people to do stuff with yet you still feel lonely seems to bear this out. I think until a person explores within and gets to a place of happiness and peace internally, there is no amount of outside validation that can take away that feeling.

As a life coach, I have seen people accomplish this a number of ways. There is coaching, therapy, classes, religion, and just a ton of ways to start this process of self-realization. However, the VERY BEST and quickest way I have ever seen to make a lot of progress very quickly is through a program called Pathways. You can read about it at www.createagreatlife.org. And one of the cool things about it is that the basis of the program is all about exactly what you said -- figuring out what it is you really want (most people don't know!) and also having a place to, as you said, pour your heart out and not be judged. AND, after you've been through the program, you end up with a group of people you can connect with and who you can really relate to and communicate with on a deep level. That is the heart of it. It really works, and I have seen so many people regain a sense of joy and purpose as they go through this program.

(Just FYI, it's not a religious program -- and I don't get any kind of payment or referral fee for recommending it, in case you were wondering -- I just like to offer it up because I know how awesome it is!)

Just one thing to consider! Good luck, and I truly hope you find whatever works for you -- you deserve a great life that doesn't include feeling lonely all the time!

How can I be lonely in a crowded room? How come I feel like something is missing? I love my husband but I may not be crazy in love with him. My friends all expect me to be funny. They don't see me hiding inside.

Are some of those your questions? It could be depression. It could be multi faceted. Depression, the need for a true friend, even a new church. If you would like to try the friendship route, I would be glad to lend an ear. I have suffered some of the same things as you. You can send a private message and we can chat, see if we're compatible. Take care.

Hi K.,

Don't feel bad, I think everyone goes through this at one time or another in their life.

First, find out what your interested in most. There is a place you can meet up with others with the same interest. www.meetup.com and look for a group in your area with the same interest. It could be just a girls day out group, cooking group, psychic group, Medium ship, arts, music, movies, sewing, dancing or whatever hobbie you like, check it out. I've found lots of things to do on the meet up site.

Good luck,
Rev. G. Hudson, Reiki Master.

My advice to you would be to read the book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. Have your husband read it too. It will help you both know how to feel loved in your marriage. There's also a book in the series on love languages of children. It had worked wonders in our marriage. It turns out that we were both doing things to express our love for each other, but they weren't sinking in because we speak different love languages! Once we figured it out, it was great! The most important thing, though, is COMMUNICATE WHAT YOU'RE FEELING WITH YOUR HUSBAND! He won't know what you're going through if you don't tell him!

Another option that occurs to me is that you may be suffering from some mild depression, and it might be a good idea to seek some professional counseling or talk to your doctor.

Good luck, and I hope this helps.

You DO know exactly why you have those feelings and they are normal. You long for your husband to verbally relate to you. Now, do the work to help fix it. Discuss your longing with your husband and how not having him act as your best friend that you can share your thoughts, dreams, current events, etc. is making you feel lonely. I am lucky in that my late husband and my current fiance really appreciated that we could talk about things of mutual interest and do a lot of fun things together that we both enjoyed. Of course, there are some things that we talk about that I am not particularly interested in but I give him that and he gives me that when I want to talk about something of little importance to him. Course, we keep those at a minimum time. See if he is willing to talk about it: Why doesn't he want to converse more with you? Has he always been a quiet, "loner" type or is he not interested in anything but sports and hunting? How did his parents relate to each other. See if he is willing to change in little bits and pieces each week. If so, thank him as he tries so he's motivated. Tell him that your happiness depends on it. If not, see if he is willing to read a book about how important it is to relate to each other in those ways. If not, ask him to go to couples counseling with you to see how to work it out. Do be open to the possibilities that you might have to do some improvements too. Know that men don't usually like gossip, listen while you do all the talking, hear minute details not needed to carry the message, etc. Good luck. You could end up happier than you could imagine!

I TOTALLY know how you feel! I think alot of it has to do with the tv and computer keeping people distracted from each other and the air conditioning keeping people inside away from their neighbors--not that those are wrong things, it just adds to alienation.

But you can be surrounded by people--even people who love you--and feel alone. That kind of lonliness is on the inside. You were born with a spirit that will never die inside you--call it your mind, your heart, whatever--and it actually does have a God-shaped hole. That void feeling can't be filled with anything else. You cannot feel whole or complete or have your needs fully met or be satisfied...unless you fill that void with the One who put it there.

Let Jesus be your friend, your forgiver, your leader and He promises to meet all of your needs--even your need for female companionship!

Lots of churches(are awful, sorry) but lots of churches are great and most especially they have small groups of couples and families that meet together in homes throughout the week--they talk, eat, share, learn--it's fabulous--you can really connect! Also, they have ladies groups that do things together--study the Bible, go to movies, have ladies nights at restaurants and coffee places--and you make real friends who care about you and want to meet your needs.

They have that for men, too. Men really are emotional, but they like to keep it all in. The only time I've seen men share their feelings is at the movies and at the aforementioned groups. They need to feel safe in sharing.

Anyway, I'm going to Providence Church on Main St where The Colony meets Frisco and they have home groups--check them out! Email if you'd like to get together, too.

~A.

People exhaust me too. I am very introverted. My husband is also hard to talk to, you need to find a kindred spirit that you can talk to(female). Find someone new, you have not made that connection with the people that you currently socialize with. Good Luck.

It sounds like you may a touch of depression. You should talk to your Dr. and see what he/she has say. Maybe a medication can help. The other suggestions are good too, but maybe a medical opinion is needed.
God Bless,
J.

That is normal... it is depression. Most of us women suffer from it in some form or another. I don't have any close family, and i've never really had a "best friend" like some do-- so I totally understand your feeling. Not to be rude, but "going to the lord" isn't exactly the answer to all of life's problems... it doesn't change the hormonal imbalance that most of us in this boat experience. Making great friends isn't easy... people you truly connect with. Some choose medication, but i've tried to avoid it. Just decide for yourself-- I have no real advice-- just that you are definitely not alone and this is VERY common.

In our hervy-scervy frantic world, friendship doesn't necessarily come easily. You have to feed energy into a relationship, especially when what you crave is relationships with a group of women with common interests and values. You'll have to identify several you feel some kind of kinship potential with, and begin to build deeper friendships with them. The traditional family life of "lots of activities, coming and going all the time" doesn't really lend itself to this. That will come to you only when you extend and communicate needs for more to others, taking the time, doing the inviting and hosting, creating the safety of quiet moments where sharing can take place, putting your hopes on the table, being authentic in everything you do. It will take time, because you have to extend trust, build trustworthiness into the relationship, reach out, go beyond, be of service to the other person, be open instead of guarded, or harried, use humor, invite those persons over for coffee and talk, start a book club (from which deeper conversations can be generated), etc. Be creative. Be real. Pick carefully the personhoods you want to be friends with, be genuine...and it will come to you. This is not to imply that you aren't all these things already, as far as your own personhood, but the time demands of family and activities tend to pressure against it, in the short term. It's clear that when you express a need or desire, when you put it out there to the Universe (prayer?), the Universe gets behind your intent and supports it. Just be willing to go the distance with those persons from then on.
I'm including something recently sent to me online:

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,

drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As

they talked about life, about marriage, about the

responsibilities of life and the obligations of

adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her

glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance

upon her daughter

'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling

the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll

be more important as you get older. No matter how

much you love your husband, no matter how much you

love the children you may have, you are still going

to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now

and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...

your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other

women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women

always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman

thought. Haven't I just gotten married?

Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a

married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely

my husband and the family we may start will be all I

need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact

with her Sisters and made more women friends each

year. As the years tumbled by, one after another,

she gradually came to understand that her Mom really

knew what she was talking about. As time and nature

work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,

Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world,

here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die..

Colleagues forget favours.

Careers end.

BUT..........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how

many miles are

between you. A girl friend is never farther away

than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you

have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life

will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,

praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on

your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the

valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk

beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,

daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,

Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended

family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and

neither would I. When we began this adventure called

womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or

sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we

would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still.. Pass this on

to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

I just did. Short and very sweet:

B. T.

K., When I read your post, I felt as if I had written it myself. The longer it goes on, the more distant I feel from my husband. The sad news it that we've only been married about two years. Surely, this isn't how marriage is supposed to be?? Its not that we don't truly love each other, because we both couldn't live without one another, but I just feel like we are missing that really deep, intimate connection that we used to have. Maybe it has to do with adjusting to being parents. I, too, am really missing not having a great girl support team, like I did way back when in college and the years after. I just seems that everyone I was close with now has a completely different life than I do and we no longer have nothing in common.

Hi K.,
No you're not just being crazy, because we were created with the desire to worship sometimes our spirituality is at a low ebb and there is the need to draw closer to our creator by daily reading his word an meditating on what we read,look for the principles and try to implement them into your life, then you will find that you don't feel that lonely anymore.

Lillie

I have had times in my life that I feel that way too. It is not the same to have a ton of acquaintances vs. one or two good girlfriends. With the acquaintances you may not feel like you can be yourself and relax which might be why you feel so drained at the end of a night. It is hard to find good girlfriends and often takes years to get really comfortable around someone. BUT it is worth it. If I were you I would take a closer look at some of the acquaintances you have that you enjoy being around and then without stalking them...ha...call and set up a playdate or a girls night out...something informal where you can relax and talk.

You said it... "full time working Mom with 2 boys"! Sounds like you are probably so busy that you don't have much time for yourself and when you do.. it's taken up with acquaintances! That sets you up for no real "deep" connections.. I can say this because I feel the same way! I felt like I was giving giving giving and getting nothing back in return. I realized instead of focusing so hard on keeping in touch with so many "acquaintances", I needed to focus on a few people that I really "clicked" with and further develope those friendships! I also realized my most important friend was standing right next to me, my husband (my BEST friend)! Be sure you don't accept things the way they are with your husband, if it's not fullfilling you... he may surprise you if you explain to him what you're missing from him that you need! Do you think you might be suffering from some level of depression? It's important to recognize those signs and seek medical help, if needed! I took Zoloft for about 4 years after my son was born... it helped tremendously! Best wishes & take care!

K.,

I COMPLETELY relate to how you are feeling. Well, almost. I used to be just as lonely as you (about 5 years ago), but fortunately, I got over it. What I am longing for now is wonderful friendships. I have a few good friends, but I am looking for someone with whom I can pour my heart to. I thought girlfriends tell each other everything, but I have learned that they don't. Or, if they do, I am not a part of it, which makes me think that I need my own new set of friends with whom I can disclose anything and everything to. I know it is so hard, but try to make new girlfriends. There is a group (I haven't tried this yet, but I will soon) called www.meetup.com. They have groups for couples, women, etc. I suggest you try it. Pathways seems fine, but I think what you really need (as well as everyone) is a few very close girlfriends with whom you can confide in and TRUST that they won't gossip about you or something. Trust has been my hardest challenge with people recently. You think you can trust someone, but then find out the extremely difficult way that you cannot. Just be so careful as to whom you choose to confide in. If you don't want to try meetup.com, try something else, like a book club. I know how hard it is to feel like you have no one to talk to. I am in the same situation - lots of acquaintances, but no one to consider a very close, true friend that I can trust. Thankfully, I am in a playgroup for my twin girls, so at least I can talk to other moms. Best of luck!!!

Is it possible you are going through menopause? Depression is a sign.

You've received great advice from many. Don't discount those who mention the possibility that you may be depressed or headed that way. I've experienced both mild and severe depressive episodes and don't wish the experience on anyone, but I also know there are wonderful resources out there if you need them.

If you're part of a faith community, you may wish to start with your pastor or a counselor there. Have you told your husband how you're feeling? You say he isn't one for many deep discussions, but if he's the loving husband you say he is, I'd think he'd want to listen to your concerns & help as possible. Something my husband and I find very intimate is to read a book to each other at night. See if you can find a book of interest to you both and suggest this. Just a few pages or chapters a night and you may wish to switch readers.

As for friends, have you joined any moms' groups? There are some set up for working moms who can't go to the usual daytime gatherings. As a believer, I would also suggest finding a good Bible study group to join. This can both help nourish your faith and bring you sincere, nurturing friendships. Some, like BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), even have a program built in for preschoolers and school-age children such that they could attend with you.

Best wishes to you and good for you for reaching out to others!!

For myself I've found that making the effort to meet women with my same interests has helped tremendously. Prior to my daughter I had friends, but when she came my friends stopped calling. Many stopped calling when I got married actually since they were single and then it got worst when my daughter came. My point is make yourself get out there and meet other Moms. You need to interact with people with the same trials, tribulations and joys as you. Others won't fully grasp it.
Exercise is also very helpful. It makes you feel good about yourself since you are doing it for yourself. Forget about the weight loss aspect, but instead do it since it makes you feel good. You deserve time for yourself too.
Finally, be proud of yourself for recognizing how some people are really acquaintances vs. friends. That is the reason you feel you can't divulge info to them. A true friend won't judge and if they get bothered by something you say they will say something or recognize that you didn't mean to say that vs. think you're not a good person.