My step daughter is 6 years old and her father and I have a problem getting her to eat dinner. She always says she doesn't like it or she is sick. She will gag at the table and start to cry. She states, whether its true or not that her other home they only eat pizza and mcdonalds. (She definetly eats alot when we eat that.) We've tried making her sit till it was done,putting her to bed, taking away priveledges. Her mom says she doesn't have a problem with her eating. I'm at my wits end with it because the other two children eat fine. WE even try to fix things we know she likes when she's with us.
Stick with what you are doing. Give her 30min. or so to eat and if she does not finish no snacks or drinks (other than water) until the next day. I even go so far as to say no TV until she finishes a plate of dinner ( if this is the only meal time issue). Don't fight with her just don't give her options.
We have the same problem. We have consulted all the doctors. We usually get the they will eat when they are hungry. That makes me angry cause my 30 month old daughter weighs like 24 pounds!!
We have tried sitting at the table till she eats. We have tried bribing with dessert. Tried sending her to bed. Tried reasoning with her. Tried getting angry. Just makes her cry.
Finally we got a suggestion from my sons speech therapist. She said you sit her in the corner in a quiet room. You don't aknowledge her for as many mins as she is old. After that passes you go to her and say are you ready to eat or are you gonna sit her longer? The first couple of times she said no she still wouldn't eat. Then I would say you have to stay there till you are ready. Walk away and try again in the mins. After she got so sick of sitting in the corner. It is quiet and lonely. Sadly this took about 45 mins, she came and ate quite a bit. Kept consistent with this and now she will barter with me. I will eat 5 bites of that mom and all of that sort of thing. I think if she eats some of everything I am happy. The doc always tells me her tummy is only as big as her fist keep in mind. It worked for us.
One of my boys did the same thing to my ex-husband and his wife a while back. He would always come home from visiting them and act like he hadn't eaten for a week! When I would ask them about it, they would tell me that he flat-out refused to eat what they were giving him. We got together and compared the things that he ate at home and how much he ate as opposed to what he was eating at their house...We prepared the same foods, in the same amounts, but, for whatever reason, he always told them that he hated those foods. And I honestly can't tell you why.
When we all got together and actually asked him why he did that, he couldn't say either.
My ex and his wife had to really knuckle down on him. They tried to discuss the situation (which doesn't always work with a kid as young as my son)...they explained that they were giving him the same foods I was giving him...And none of that worked. In the end, they had to give him an ultimatum. He had two choices- either eat what they put in front of him, or not eat at all. It was really hard for them to do. Let's face it...who wants their kid to be hungry? But they stuck to it and, as far as I know, they haven't had any problems with his eating habits when he's at their house since then.
It is frustrating for sure, but keep this in mind...if they get hungry enough, they will eat.
Good luck.
How often do you have her there? Is it only on the weekends, or is it every other week?
My advice would be to feed her lunch and not give her snacks between then and dinner, only juice/milk. If she's hungry when dinner rolls around, she'll eat. Do not cave in and let her have snacks late at night if she refuses to eat at the dinner table. If she's going to be staying with you, she needs to learn that she'll be eating real food, not fast food, and she just needs to get used to it.
In order to try and get her to eat, maybe make a homemade pizza, let her help fix it? Make smiley faces or whatever with the toppings... She might enjoy that and actually eat it. Then you can use whatever ingredients you want to make sure it's healthy, but she can have her darn pizza.
J.
I have the same problem when my nephew is at my house. But the thing is that he really only eats fast food!! His father only eats out and when his mom cooks he won't eat. We make things that are like fast food and he will do the same thing gag and cry. But the deal is he either eats it or he eats nothing until we all eat again. He is now 6 (in January) and he still struggles with eating. So I think stay strong and if she wants to eat she will...but try to include her in the meal planning. Let her pick something she likes as a side maybe that will help.
Good Luck
A.
OK, I'm going to jump right into the ugliness potential. I don't know how long this has been going on, but... If it were me, I'd start documenting that you actually offered her food and keep a diary of what the family had and whether or not she refused. If she goes back to her mom hungry all the time and complains--you might have a bit of a fight on your hands. If you've been keeping track ahead of time (and have your husband participate, too, if possible) you'll be able to head that one off at the pass.
The other thing you can try that was alluded to was to turn everything into a pizza. Mexican for the night? Give her a tortilla with cheese and let her make it look like a pizza. Sandwiches? Give her pita and make hers open faced. Both of those types of things freeze well and defrost rapidly so you can have them on hand and they won't go bad if they're frozen.
I totally agree with the other posters about how to handle it otherwise. Offer her food, make her sit through the meal with the family and if she doesn't eat it--ignore it. Keep the plate in the fridge and if she says she's hungry later, pull the plate out heat up her dinner and offer her that.
My son will go through eating jags kinda like that. I try to accommodate him as best I can, but it's easier as it's only the two of us--and the things he wants are healthy foods. Often he'll ask for something and I'll cook it only to have him change his mind later. Nope, eat what's cooked or don't. He always does after a little while, but he's only 2 so I have a bit more control over him.
The only other thought I have is I wonder if she feels out of sorts because she's the only girl. Maybe if you could spend some time in the kitchen with her actually making pizza dough or baking something else she'll come around. Something she takes part in might be more worth eating--but make it a fun activity on a day you feel well rather than one of those days it feels like you just walked in and have to be a slave in the kitchen.
Good luck to you!
JUST IN CASE THAT IS WHAT THE BABY GIRL EATS, YOU MAY LET HER HELP YOU FIX THE MCDONALD AND PIZZA FOOD AT HOME. START WITH WHAT SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO EAT THEN ADD THE GOOD FOOD. WITH HAMBURGER, ADD MASHED POTATOES INSTEAD OF FRIES, WITH PIZZA ADD SOMETHING UNTIL SHE REALIZES THAT HOME FOOD IS GOOD. BUT HAVING HER TO HELP MAY BE THE KEY. MINE WON'T EAT CERTAIN THINGS, BUT I FOUND IF I LET THEM HELP, THEY ARE PROUD OF WHAT THEY"COOKED" EXSPECIALLY IF EVERYBODY ELSE SAYS IT'S GOOD AND THEY END UP EATING IT AND LIKING IT. GOOD LUCK
My advice is a little different...could her "not eating" be a way to get a lot of attention? My 6 year old daughter can make herself vomit if things are really stressful around the house and she feels like she is not getting enough attention. Have you tried just ignoring her "not eating"..just fix what you would normally have, require that she sit at the table, and then just offer her the food...if she doesnt eat, she doesnt eat. Maybe some extra positive attention at non meal times would help too... maybe will lead to less of a power struggle..
My daughter gave up on the vomitting once it became a non issue.. :)
6 can be a challenging age..I wish you the best of luck!!!
M.
You might try having her help cook with you. She could pick out what to have and be involved with the preparation.
I went thru a period of time where my son would only eat chicken nuggets and french fries. It was about a year or two we went thru this stage. (thank god you can buy that stuff at the store lol) The one thing I learned is that I shouldnt have given into that so easily. So we switched to the reward system. He had to try everything on his plate and he got an extra treat (cookie, candy, you decide), then as we progressed, he had to clean his plate for that treat. If he didnt clean his plate and he was hungry later, then he got plain crackers. They say it takes a few times for children to like the taste of certain foods. With my 2 yr old daughter, I did things right off the bat and now she eats broccoli, cauliflower, etc., so I had to teach myself what to do. Be consistant with her, and in time, and if she's not with you very often, it will be a long time, she will come around.
try talking to her mother about some of the things that she is feeding her daughter at that home. If that doesnt work try not to force her to eat when you guys are eating have her eat at her own time or let her cook the meal and serve it to the family she might then eat something that she has cooked
