How Can I Get My 6 Year Old to Stop Sucking Her Thumb?

Updated on July 06, 2008
M.H. asks from Arlington, WA
16 answers

My oldest and youngest had binkies. We just threw all of our 2 year olds binkies away and it was so easy. But now here's my 6 year old and she still sucks her thumb. I want to hear any and all advice you've got for me. She does suck it less and less but she just lost her front teeth and the dentist said she really needs to stop before her permanent ones come in. Thanks for your advice.

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

My favorite habit breaker is the coins in the pocket. Give her a pocket full of change (pre-dertimined amount), each time she sucks her thumb she gives a coin back. The jingle helps her remember. Each day put the left over change in a jar and at the end of the week take her shoping and she can spend her progress!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M H,

I like all the suggestions for using a reward system for trying to motivate her to stop on her own, something she really wants and will stop for.

She is old enough to "know better," but like the one poster said, it's an oral fixation, and very hard to break. Maybe even borders on an addiction. I also think you should speak with the dentist and see what he recommends to help her stop. The device sounds like a good idea.

Try not to shame or punish her into stopping, though. It would be traumatic for her, as well as make her cling to the thumb sucking more.

Good luck to you both.

K. W

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D.H.

answers from Seattle on

Well I can only tell you what worked for us. I bought my daughter some fuzzy gloves and told her I didn't care if she sucked her fingers as long as she left her gloves on. If she will leave them on, you may have a deal. My daughter did leave them on and the fuzz got in her mouth and was icky to her, so she stopped within a couple days. I had to be consistent. Every night I said time to put on your gloves. She felt like I compromised, letting her suck them, I felt she compromised by wearing the gloves. Worked for us.

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M.W.

answers from Portland on

I am not sure how to answer your question but wanted to wish you good luck. My first was a paci kiddo too and we tossed them at 20 months my second child is a thumb sucker. He is 9 months old and will take the paci out to suck his thumb. I am worried about how to get him to stop sucking his thumb when the time comes.

Good luck, please let me know when you come across a technique that works.

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D.L.

answers from Seattle on

I still completely remember how I stopped sucking my thumb at 6 years old. I was always getting in trouble for my indulgence. My mom tried bad-tasting stuff and I even sewed a little cover for my thumb... I just couldn't stop.

During Christmas preparations (a few weeks before my 6th birthday) my mom was wrapping a Connect Four game for my cousins. I asked if it was for me and she said no, but she was having a hard time finding a box that would fit it so she could ship it. I had seen the ads for awhile for the game and I truly wanted it. I started hounding her about it and wanted to know if I could have it if she couldn't find a box to fit. She asked what I would do in return and I told her I would stop sucking my thumb. Well, after Christmas and right before my birthday, she told me she couldn't find a box and reminded me of our deal. I stopped sucking my thumb that day. In fact, my mom said she was in SHOCK, because I never even sucked my thumb in my sleep anymore!!

So, the moral to my story is to find something that she is either passionate of or something she just really, really wants (within reason, of course) and make her a deal. It's much more fun to stop when YOU want to than when you're forced to.

Also, wish us luck.... the Pacifier Fairy will be coming this week to exchange our 2 1/2 year old little girl's pacifiers for a new doll. We've been talking about it for the last few weeks, so I HOPE it goes well. Good luck to you!!! I hope you find something that will work for you guys. I'd love to hear how it goes. And who knows, maybe she'll have a funny story to talk about when she's older.

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

My son stopped at 8yo when he was about to start phase 1 orthodontics. He was to get the expander bar in, and if he had not stopped sucking his 2 fingers he would have had the pronged 'crib' attatchment. He stopped in 2 days! All self motivated.

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N.P.

answers from Seattle on

I'm surprised the dentist would not offer help at the same time he's/she's telling you your daughter needs to stop.

I was at an informal presentation from a local childs dentist and this was one topic he discussed and showed pictures relating to.

There are devices that dentists (children's dentists) have that 'keep' a kid from sucking their thumbs. One that I've seen is a clear plastic tube looking thing that goes over the thumb and disallows the child from sucking it, etc. There are a few others.

I would consult the dentist for advice and to see if they have any items to help you out. They would hear what has worked with kids in the past, and what hasn't.

My 3 1/2 yr old still sucks his thumb, although I never see it...he only does it a bit while he sleeps. I'm hoping he'll eventually stop on his own.

good luck!

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T.R.

answers from Portland on

My daughter sucked her thumb until she was 7. She loved it so much, she would suck her thumb raw and even get blisters. We told her it was confined to her room. Anytime she wanted to suck her thumb she had to go be alone in her room, not as a punishment but just so she didn't do it mindlessly (ie sitting in front of the tv or during story time) She is very social and perfers being with people so it didn't take her long to decide that it wasn't worth it. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hello MH (My initials are MH too),

My daughter was around 3 when we encouraged her to stop sucking her thumb. She would suck her thumb and rub her ear - so much so that she broke down the cartiledge and she can make it stick out now - a cute little trick she likes to show people.

My daughter really only sucked her thumb when she was tired and wanted a nap or about to sleep. Sometimes she'd suck it when she was scared, nervous or unsure about something too.

Our dentist was awesome with her and talked to her about how sucking her thumb was something that would effect her teeth and it was a really good idea to stop. I reinforced that talk when sucking was about to start. I was really matter a fact about the whole thing. I told her it was okay if she wanted to suck her thumb, but I thought it was a good idea if she stopped - and gave her the reasons why. Talked about her teeth sticking straight out.

I told her stories of ways that other people in our family stopped sucking their thumbs/fingers.

At night when she had the hardest time, I asked her if she would let me rub her hand while she fell asleep. I did that a few nights in a row and then a few nights later, she slept on her hands and that did the trick. The first night that she fell asleep without her fingers, we went to the store and picked out a special treat for her.

My sister was around 6 or 8 when she stopped sucking her fingers (2 of them) - my dad made a bet with her that if she stopped sucking her fingers he would stop smoking. We took an airplane ride from Wisconsin to California and she sat on her hands the whole way - never sucked them again - so the story goes.

Good luck with your daughter's sucking. It is a cursed blessing - my daughter fell asleep instantly sucking her thumb, but it makes for bad teeth in the end.

Positively,
M. H.

About me: Laughing for 15 years with the same husband, mommy to a darling 5 year old. Share our house and barn with 3 dogs, 1 cat, 2 rats, 1 snake, 1 fish and 9 chickens.

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A.F.

answers from Richland on

Thank you for posting this request. My 5 1/2 yr old sucks her thumb a lot too. A couple of months ago my husband made a deal with her that he'd quit chewing tobacco if she'd quit sucking her thumb. She quit that day and for the whole week I never saw her suck it. Until she discovered her dad hadn't quit. Now she sucks it more than ever. I was very dissapointed in my husband because she held up her end of the bargain. I think finding something really important or exciting to negotiate is key for her. We're still searching for ideas though, please let me know what works for you.

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

As someone who sucked their thumb until the age of 10 or 11 (not something I like to admit), the best advice I can give you is to NOT BUG HER ABOUT IT. Constant reminders only make you need it more and remind you that you are not sucking your thumb, or that you need to do it more often, etc. The more people tell you you shouldn't do it, the worse it gets. Eventually I got to where I knew I needed to, and desperately wanted to stop, but I couldn't because by that time everyone at school made fun of me so bad, i simply couldn't do it. What finally did it for me was I changed schools and had a fresh start (not an option for most people). I think that had people not constantly asked me to stop (i am also a very stubborn person), I would have stopped long before I did.

Since your daughter is doing it less and less, you may be able to talk to her about places it is okay to suck her thumb and places it is not okay. For instance, she can not suck her thumb when she is not at home (not in public view, etc). After a while of this being successful, perhaps she can only suck her thumb in her own bedroom (maybe you might have to remind her ..."do you remember where it is okay for you to suck your thumb?"). Since she is needing it less and less, it may not take much time at all and she may just end up quitting on her own, but I strongly urge you to not say things like ...

1- get your thumb out of your mouth
2- kids will tease you if you don't stop
3- you need to stop sucking your thumb
4- your brother and sister (brothers, etc) don't suck their thumbs, why do you?

...or anything else like that. It will only make the problem worse. I remember anytime anyone said anything like that to me, it only made me feel bad and therefore need my thumb even more.

D.J.

answers from Seattle on

The doctors call that "oral" babies. My son was addicted to his binky. I used a friend advice and we did introduce him to chewing gums. Than we were able to take the binky away. It looks like this had pleased his oral needs. Good luck!

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T.C.

answers from Portland on

M H,

Do you notice a certain time when your daughter sucks her thumb?

I was a thumb sucker until I was 12 yrs old. My teeth are GREAT, never had braces or needed them.

I sucked my thumb due to reaction to stress. Sometimes I notice that I still get the urge (kind of like an ex-smoker, I guess).

Talk with your daughter, and ask her help in stopping the thumb sucking. Maybe she needs a new outlet like a nightly walk or an activity she can do when she notices the thumb sucking...

Good luck.

T.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I remember this vividly because as a child I wouldn't stop sucking my thumb either. I think about the same age is when the Dentist told my mom to try and do something about it. This is what they came up with. Each night she would tape part of a popsicle (or part of a tongue depresser) type stick to my thumb. Not only was it awkward but it tasted horrible - hence after a few days, or maybe a week - I stopped. I swear she used regular masking tape but I honestly can't remember..maybe she used surgical tape, that would make more sense.

I think you get the general idea. I am sure they have alternate type devices out there with the same general concept. Sounds funny, but it worked fast and I still remember the whole situation. I loved my thumb and my blankie.

On a side note, my husband loves this story and thinks its the funniest thing he's ever heard.

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H.C.

answers from Seattle on

I agree with the response about checking with your dentist. I was a long time thumb sucker and all of the tricks were tried and failed. Punishment and humiliation would just have made me feel bad, not stopped the action. I do think your child is old enough to set ground rules about where it's appropriate to suck their thumb. I only did it at night mostly when I was asleep. It would have been great to have a dentist who had some of the items that were mentioned in an earlier post that would have deterred me in my sleep. I did eventually quit and my teeth turned out great despite my thumb. :)

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C.H.

answers from Seattle on

My 6 yr old sucks her thumb too. Her bottom and top teeth are growing in so I completely understand what you're going through. My daughter's trigger is boredom and sleepiness. She sits or walks with her blanket and her thumb.

We've talked to her about it, her dentist has talked to her about it, and she knows she needs to stop. She tells me, "I know I shouldn't do it but my brain keeps telling me too!" It's really hard.

All I can do is remind her and notice when the triggers are coming. If I catch her, I take her blanket from her for 2 hours. She is doing it much less.

So, that's our method, continuing to talk to her about it and being proactive when the triggers are coming - car rides, movies, waiting for us to finish getting ready to leave the house.

Good luck. Our dentist told us about a product that you put on the thumb that tastes bad and lasts for days so they can't suck it off or wash it off right away. I can find the paper and send you the info if you want it. Just let me know.

Good luck!

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