How Can I Keep My Family from Swearing Around My 7 Month Old?

Tell them outright that now that there is a child around, they must watch their language, or leave. If you are at their house, remind them and then leave if you have to. Its just poor behavior anyway...

Everyone who has already posted is right in saying there is nothing you can do to control the actions of others.

What you can do is lead by example at "your" house. Make it a policy with you, your spouse, and children or anyone who lives under your roof, to never use that sort of language.

While there will always be negative outside influences, you will always have the upper hand as the primary care giver and therefore will have the most influence over your child their behavior, and the overall environment at home.

If they see peaceful behavior, and hear loving words, they'll naturally learn that kindness and gentle words are the way to be. Even if they come in contact with others, including extended family with foul mouths. The contrast between life at home, and life at large will be stark, and most likely they will be turned off by the crudeness.

I don't think you can. I've tried and people that have the habit of swearing have hard time stopping when they don't have to make a consious effort everyday, and since they aren't around your child everyday, it's a hard habit to break.

I have the same issue with my family. My MOM says the "S" word ALL the time, and I hate it. I tell her, "MOM?!" and when I say that, she says sorry because she knows why she's being scolded. But, if she says..."what" I tell her, "Inquiring minds around! Stop swearing, I don't want to tell other moms that she picked up a swear word from her grandmother!" Then, she'll usually make a more consious effort to stop herself.

Even friends swear alot, even around their own kids...it surprizes both my hubby and I how big of a potty mouth some people are. I say something everytime because people who swear don't even know their doing it and making a pointing it out will make them feel a bit embarrassed and will hopefully, make them think twice before they do it again. We don't swear at all, especially around our kids...so to hear people do it is like nails on a chalk board for me. It's just un-neccessary.

I've raised two sons and the younger is getting married in August. I came from a large family of very opinionated, stubborn folks. But my sons are gentlemen.

The best advice I can give you is to do damage control. Limit the time you spend with your family as much as possible.

When you have time alone with your son, read to him from children's books. Talk to him in a kind, conversational tone. Tune the television and radio on to Christian broadcasting and let him see and listen.

They have early morning and weekend programs just for children with music sung by children which always gets their attention and you never have to worry about anything foul beaming into your home.

Don't allow other sources to reinforce the acceptance of bad language as the norm, such as television, radio or places you go with your child. Limit the access without becoming over protective.

Even babies are affected by environment and if you are diligent in providing an environment where 1) Foul language and actions are unacceptable by example rather than punishment (Different from discipline of course) and

2) Counter the appeal of foul language by creating feel good activities that do not involve places and people where it is accepted. Continue to do so until your child is ready to begin school.

Once they start school you will have to be even more diligent in making sure you counter the influence with positive people, things and places.

All our children have in the early stages are their feelings and emotions to tell them what is right or wrong. They will remember how good it feels to be around people who reinforce the values you teach him.

Once your child gets to the age where you can have a conversation with him don't over do and bring too much focus on your dislike for foul language. It sometimes only makes them more curious.

Just let him know it is unacceptable and continue to surround your family with people who do not use such language or exhibit such behaviour.

Finally, do not underestimate the effect you could have on your family if you asked them (with kindness) to tone down their language when the child is around. It may not work but it is worth a try.

Don't worry.

EEk! I have the same problem!! The F-enheimer flys like mosquitos on a hot day out of my husbands mouth. Whenever he says it I correct him. I point it out. I say Fudge... or something like that so he knows he said it. He gets upset sometimes but I don't want my daughter , who is almost 3!! Picking up that language. THANKFULLY she hasn't. People honestly don't realize how negative they are or how often they swear until it is pointed out to them and when it is, and it is around a small child, the will always feel bad! So don't feel bad about pointing it out. :) Good luck!

Family is important but so is raising a good kid. I would keep them involved to a miminum but that's just my opinion. My mom doesn't have a foul mouth but is very negative and judgemental and my children do not spend a whole lot of time with her. I just limit the time. It's harder because my husband I have very little time to ourselves but I have to say it has paid off with our 12 year old daughter. It is bad enough out there with the things she hears from other kids, etc. the last thing you want to do is condition them to think its the norm and that its ok to act and speak like that.

u da baby momma of the house
do what u gotta do, go full momma mode when someone swears
u may seem like a kook, but meh, go "NO SWEARING AROUND TEH BABY!" and gobble them suckers up so they don't do it anymore
works everytume
~~M. K~~
peace out

I suggest saying this" I heard that even little babies pick up parents and grandparents tones and word. I am really sensitive to this and what is said around my son. If you could please watch what you say around him as far as swearing ect. we would really appreciate it. This would really help so much." After this, let it go. You can't control everyone and how they behave. Then you might need to ask yourself if it is more important to you to have family around or people that don't swear. Later as he grows then you can talk with him about "bad" words ect. I have yet to hear either of my children swear and I am sure they have heard plenty. My daughter does let me know when she hears a bad word and I compliment her for choosing "nicer words" ect. Good luck!

I agree with the other posts, the best thing you can do is teach them the correct way. Maybe start a new rule where everytime someone swears they need to put a penny in a jar or something. Also maybe if you remind them everytime they say something, they will at least learn to not do it around you. It's a hard habit to break, but your right that is the last thing you need your child to repeat. I hope some of this helps.

It really depends on your family. My husband's family doesn't swear in front of our kids, and never have, they just stopped. Even the 37 yo bachelor! Not sure why, but they did.
My family, however, not so much.
We haven't been around them much because we lived so far away, but now we are closer. They do tone it down and I have asked my step mom about talking to them about it. It is better, but the kids still hear swearing and negative talk.

You could have a negative reaction to your request of toning it down and they get worse, or they may just blow you off, or they may respect that you want to raise your young man to know better. But you have to ask, and you need to approach them the right way.

I suggest doing it when they are not in the middle of a social gathering with all the hoopla. Just say something like "Wow, this parenting thing has so much responsibility! I want my child to do the right things! That means I have to do so much changing, too. He/she is a little sponge and will soon be talking, too. Do you think you guys could help me out and try not to swear in front of us so he/she doesn't copy swear words, please?" The negative talk about others is probably a lost cause.

Most of my children are older, so we talk about it away from family. We talk about how God would want us to talk about others, not behind their backs, and not gossipy or mean. We also talk about swearing. But they know it is bad and when they hear it it sounds awful to them. Even my older teens hate it. Because they don't hear it much, they really see how ugly it sounds and do not want to sound so vulgar or uneducated.

You can do this, even without their cooperation. You just need to tell your child that those are adult words and that they are yucky and he/she shouldn't say them. But your example will be the one to follow.

I ran into the same thing with my family - my dad doesn't even realize he's saying the bad words! But I sat down with him and reminded him of how he hated hearing those words come out of my mouth as a child and how would he like to hear his grandson saying those words! I also told him that in MY house, no one says those words and if he couldn't follow the rules of MY house, he wouldn't be invited as much. And if he was going to use those words in front of my son at HIS house, we wouldn't be coming over as often. My mom has been a big help, it's easier for her to "scold" him than me! But if your son does start saying something you don't like - ignore it, if you react to it, he'll say it just to get the reaction. Hopefully he'll forget it, otherwise when he's older you can explain to him that it's not a polite word to use.

I guess I wld start by having a sit down with your Family and tell them how you feel and how you want your Child to be raised, if they don't like it then they will have limited time with your son. Kids pick up on things really quickly, I have a 2 year old and he knows a few words that I wish I cld get out of his vocabulary but I don't think he knows what he's saying. Good luck I think honesty is best here, he is your son and they shld be respectuful of what you want.

Hi L.
My parents also swear alot and when the kids where little we would say please dont talk like that around the kids and they would try not to. now our kids know those are bad words and that we shouldn't use them so they will yell at them which gets them to stop in a quick hurry. Good Luck :)T.

You could start a travelling cuss bucket and take it everywhere your 7 month goes. Whoever says a bad word has to pay a quarter or something and then use the $ for your childs future or something he needs now. I tried this for my extended family and it didn't work, but I believe it can work in some families. My husbands family would just throw a $5 or $10 in there and be like well I should be covered for the weekend(kinda missing the point). It's worth a try on your family. I think if everyone gets involved on catching each other and maybe even can laugh at it that it can work. "Ha Ha go get your quarter"

I think the other posters are right on. One thing that sticks out from your request, though, is that you'd consider keeping your son away from your extended family due to their language. Really? If your nuclear family is very religious or feels extremely strongly about this issue, I think you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your extended family about this issue. I do have a friend who felt so strongly about the music lyrics an uncle listened to that she kept her family from celebrating Christmas with her extended family... if you see this kind of thing in your future, please lay your cards out on the table now so people know what is in your mind!

However, if you are just talking about a few foul words very occasionally here and there which is simply a little worrying to you... I think all moms have really been there at some point. You suddenly realize your baby is starting to listen and repeat but the extended family hasn't gotten into "kids are around" mode yet. In that case, I think just the simple "Little Pitchers Have Big Ears" or a similar comment is enough, and most adults are smart and considerate enough to clean up their language when kids are present. Now, if your family REFUSES to clean up their language after you've called them on it a few times... that's when the problems begin.

On a personal note... may I just say that my husband has had a really difficult time giving up adult evening TV shows (sitcoms, etc.), and you would be amazed at how much awful language there is. Until there were kids in the room, the language and violence never really struck me, but now I am horrified! My 3 yr old daughter actually repeated one night "Oh, damn" right after an actor on TV said it. Hubby didn't hear it but I did, and then she was saying it the following weekend and frankly my extended family was blaming me for teaching her but no one would confront me on it :-) Anyway, word to the wise, if you have a habit of adult TV shows in the evenings during what will be your kids awake time, figure out how you're going to handle it now before it becomes an issue with older kids.

Good luck, and good for you for being such a conscientious parent!

you should simply call them on it each and every time you hear it around your child. You must be consistant or they wont take you seriously. But you must remember too that at this point your son isnt going to just start spouting out 4 letter words. its ok to try to get your family in the habit now though of not swearing infront of your child.
Personally, I chose to also use it as a lesson in tolerance of others for my daughter when she got old enough to understand the fact that while we in our family (me her and daddy) do not use these words or find them appropriate, others might and it's not our place to make them change if they really feel it's ok. Now that she's 11, she's around people who swear sometimes and it doesnt seem to effect her one way or the other, we dont swear and neither does she, but , we do have some friends that do and usually when she's around if they slip they will apologize to her. Which if you have a sense of humor, imagine my husbands burly motorcycle riding friends that sometimes visit our house, looking remorsefully at an 11 yr old girl and saying "sorry about that" when they say the s word...that's highly amusing to me.

L.,

My mom had this problem with friends when me and my sister were younger. What she did was let them know that she didn't like it and she didn't want us subjected to it. She told them that unless they cleaned up their language, she would stop coming by. They respected it for the most part I think. In fact one of them has totally cleaned up his language. I believe that if they respect you, if you ask them to not speak that way around you and your kids, they will probably start paying attention more to how they talk. It has become such a habit that they most likely don't realize how often they do swear. Good luck! Have a great weekend!
A.