How Do I Get My 2 1/2 Year Old to Brush His Teeth

Updated on June 04, 2008
S.S. asks from Saint Petersburg, FL
19 answers

I have a son who will be three in September. We can't get him to brush his teeth. I have toddler toothpaste and a toddler toothbrush. He has a dinosaur toothbrush holder because he loves dinosaurs. He has a step stool so he can reach the sink. All he wants to do is suck the toothpaste off the brush and play in the water in the sink. He won't brush, even when I show him how I brush my teeth. I can't hold him and brush his teeth myself. He's too strong and it's a struggle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. His teeth are starting to yellow. Thanks.

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So What Happened?

I really appreciate the great advice everyone shared with me. It's a relief that brushing teeth is a struggle for so many of us. It's a work in progress with lots of kicking and screaming but I was able to brush his teeth. I know there will be a learning curve while we get used to it. Thanks so much!

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T.P.

answers from Tampa on

My son didn't really start using the toothbrush somewhat properly til about 3. We also started earlier and had the same experience, sucking and playing and no brushing. He will get more interested in 6-12 months. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
I did use incentives for my son. For example, we can't leave the house for the park til everyone's teeth are clean. That usually got the point across quickly!

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N.B.

answers from San Diego on

I had that problem with my daughter as well. I bought the electric toothbrush, but that didn't work. When that didn't work, I let my daughter(who is a princess)smell my dogs breath, and said that it was so bad because he doesn't brush his teeth. I also bought a book about teeth that talks about teeth falling out and not being able to eat and talk right. The dog thing probably wont work for a son, but the book idea and electric toothbrush might. Good luck.

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B.R.

answers from Tampa on

Our dentist recommended that we assist with brushing until the kids are 7 years old. If left to their own devices, they'll quickly learn to just wet the toothbrush so you think they've brushed & you'll end up paying for fillings (horrible - my niece had to be restrained & she screamed & cried the whole time 2 fillings were done - she was 4)! Easier instead to spend that 2 minutes to brush their teeth. Even now, my boys are 6 1/2 & we take turns (if they brush in the AM, we brush in the PM or vice versa, to be sure someone did it thoroughly each day!).

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M.A.

answers from Fort Myers on

I don't have much advice except to say that even if you give him his turn, you must do the brushing yourself. My daughter's pediatric dentist says parents should brush their children's teeth until they are 8 years old because they don't do a good enough job themselves.
I let my daughter brush them in bed instead of the bathroom, and then I do it. It's a struggle, but it has to be done.

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M.K.

answers from Tampa on

S.,

Have you tried an electric brush? My 16 month old son absolutely loves it. They have kids motifs and are battery operated.

Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Tampa on

Hello S.,

I know what your going through, my daughter was the same way, and I know this may sound mean, but the best way to make sure that those little teeth get their cleanest is to hold him down. I once saw it on an episode of wife swap, and thought, oh my goodness, that's horrible, but then I had to try and brush my daughter's teeth, lol, and she's a fighter, so I laid her on the bathroom floor (on a rug) sat over top of her, not resting my weight on her though, and put her arms just below my knees so that my knees weren't on her, but she wasn't able to get her arms out and fight me, and it worked wonders, and now I'm able to brush her teeth without any fight, and while she stands in front of me. They may not like it, but until they learn that it's for the best, it's the easiest way to do it and make sure it's done right. I promise I'm not a mean parent by far, but I just don't want them to have rotten teeth. I hope this helps. Take care.

Candi ;O)

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My youngest was like that, too, and I realized I always tried to do her teeth before I did my other kids, and she never saw them brush her teeth. I had my other kids do it first for a few nights to show her what's expected, then when it was her turn, I had them praise her. Do you have any friends with kids (same age or older) that could come and brush their teeth in front of her? There's something magic about peer pressure! Good luck!
J.

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V.C.

answers from Tampa on

I agree that you could maybe try taking him to a pediatric dentist to get checked out and maybe they can get him enthused on brushing. I took my daughter around then because she had what looked like a cavity in her tooth (it wasn't, just deep crevice that held food too much). They did tell me to sit on the couch and have her lay across my lap so I can brush her teeth and see what I am doing. Maybe you could turn it into some sort of game.
I would also get a book on brushing as well as let him choose his own toothbrush at the store. It's kind of like potty training, if they have a choice in it, they may be more inclined to work with you.
Also, the dentist said we didn't need to use the toothpaste, just brushing is enough at this age.
Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Nashville on

My daughter will be 3 in a couple of weeks and often does the same thing as your son. I just keep reminding her how important it is that her teeth be kept clean and tell her that she doesn't want bad teeth like daddy (my husband neglected his teeth for a number of years and has had a lot of work done this past year to correct his neglect). When I notice she has not been doing such a great job, I do it for her. I will sing her a goofy song while I brush her teeth. She also likes to make sure her baby brother is brushing his teeth/gums with her too. That seems to motivate her to brush better since she is "teaching" him how to brush his teeth. I have had to hold her down to brush her teeth a few times and she did not like it and since then has gotten so much better with her teeth.

I know it's not really much advice, but know you are not alone when it comes to kids not always wanting to brush their teeth.

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

My son turned 3 in April and we have always had brushing problems. I tried everything and up until recently, my husband had to hold him down while I brushed with him screeming (I could not do it myself either). He just started letting me brush a few weeks ago. I keep telling him his teeth will get yellow or green if he doesn't let me. Then I tell him I see some yellow, let me get it off. He agrees to this for some reason and then I make goofy noises while doing it. He is letting me do a really good job now, but I don't know how long that will last. We still don't use toothpaste, he HATES the stuff. He doens't like to do it in the bathroom, he likes to sit on his bed while I brush for him. Of course he gets a turn to, but they can't do a good enought job. Last night I brought a cup of water in his room and dipped the brush in that a lot and let him do it, he liked that. It could be you just have another rough 6 months-1year ahead of you sorry to say. I tried everything. He has 4 kinds of toothpaste and 6 cool toothbrushes, regular and vibrate. When they are stubborn, they are stubborn. My son does already see the dentist twice a year, might be something you should hurry up and do as well if you aren't. Good luck.

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J.K.

answers from Sarasota on

S.,
After paying over $2000 in dental bills because I did let my son brush his own teeth from the beginning, my advice is to brush his teeth for him and don't forget to floss, especially in between the molars. In our case, the molars came in very tightly and he had four cavities in between the teeth because we did not floss regularly enough, which he still can't really do by himself correctly. I did not damage his spirit at all by letting him try to brush his teeth, I let him brush his teeth himself, but I "polish" them once he is done. Also, the dentist said that dipping the tooth brush in Listerine and just going over the teeth will help. So, I guess my advice is to keep brushing and flossing his teeth for him, at least for now.

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K.C.

answers from Naples on

We have our three year old "sing" the sounds of 'eeeeee' and 'ahhhhhh'. When he is singing 'eeeeee', his teeth are together in front and we show him how to brush up and down (or we do it for him). When he is singing 'ahhhh' his mouth is opened up to get those back teeth. We do both 'eee' and 'ahh' several times... he thinks it's funny. Don't know why but it works for us. Oh yea, and a Thomas and Friends toothbrush and Little Einsteins toothpaste. He brushes his teeth several times a day and although his technique is not perfect yet, but must be getting some benefit of it all. If nothing else he is making brushing his teeth a habit and soon enough he will start to understand the real reason behind it all. Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Tampa on

Hi S. ~

Have you seen/tried the "Tooth Tunes" toothbrushes that they sell at CVS? They play a song (but only when you actually brush the teeth) and the song plays for as long as dentists recommend that kids brush their teeth so you don't have to set a timer or watch the clock. Plus the song makes the time go by quickly because they are listening to the song while they brush. There are several different songs to choose from and they run just under $10. Our little one loves to brush with hers (and they're fun for Mommy & Daddy too - lol). Try to make it fun and hopefully it will be less stressful for everyone. Take it from a Mom who went through the toothbrush struggle. :o) Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Tampa on

My daughter will be 3 in August and it's the same situation (except her toothbrushes are Disney Princesses and Barbies, lol.) Everyone tells me, "just hold her down and do it for her", but she's too strong-willed, strong, wiggly, and I'm a single mom, so it's only my two hands available. If you can get your finger in his mouth without him biting it off, just wiping his teeth with gauze is sufficient at this age, according to a dentist relative of mine. In the meantime, if he will snack on cheese after eating, cheese cuts down on bacteria in the mouth. Also, use Nursery Water for all his drinking, as it contains extra flouride. Good luck!!

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J.M.

answers from Sarasota on

Hello S.,

Maybe your son would like a spin brush (kids size). It has really worked for us because our son got bored with the regular toothbrush. As long as he can move it around his mouth, the toothbrush will actually do all of the work. I hope this helps!

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C.M.

answers from Tampa on

I also have had this problem with my youngest and asked the ped. dentist about it. Their answer was "hold him down." It has to happen. It's important for more than just the look of his teeth. It's overall health and eventually, especially if you're gentle to his mouth (obviously you won't be able to be gentle to his body) he will get tired of the battle. It has worked for us but there are still days when a battle occurs. To me, it's just one of many things in his life where I need to be in control for his overall well-being. Good luck. By the way, I wrap my son in a towel, like after a bath, and then his hands are "locked and loaded" and I only need one hand to do the brushing.

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T.H.

answers from Tampa on

S.. No matter what you think your son is not stronger than you. My son wanted to do the same thing so this is what I did:
1. Let him brush first then tell him let mommy do it
2. We sang "this is the way we brush our teeth together
3. I held him between my legs and when he screamed he opened wide and I fought to brush his teeth. All three of these methods work

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D.H.

answers from Tampa on

Hi S. - we have a 2-1/2 year old daughter that has the same exact problem. She sucks the toothpase off the toothbrush and doesn't brush her teeth. Then one day I asked her to show me how she brushes her teeth and she wouldn't so I said "I bet you don't know how to" and she did it!! She brushes her teeth and I completely praise her left and right saying what a big girl she is and that she does a GREAT job at brushing - that got her motivated to do it. I also told her that in the morning she has stinky breath cause little bugs get on your teeth when you are sleeping and you have to brush them off. That also seemed to motivate her - I wasn't trying to scare her but I was trying to let her know that she needs to take care of her teeth. I think she also associated the "bug" with when she got sick (vomitting/diarhea and fever) with a stomach bug I told her she caught from the other kids at school. Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Tampa on

Someone else mentioned holding him down to brush his teeth for him. That would be my advice. My daughter will be 3 in December and I have to pin her between my legs and hold her head to brush her teeth. I just had wrist surgery, so she is much stronger than I used to think she was-- especially when she knocks my recently operated on wrist. It sounds mean, but in the end, it's not abusive and it's for their own health. If my parents had held me down and brushed my teeth for me when I was a toddler, I'd have less dental problems than I do now. But they left me to my own devices and as someone else said, in comes the "wet the toothbrush and swoosh water around" trick. Good luck!

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