How Do I Get My Newborn on a Schedule?

It is just going to take time for his stomach to get bigger. The first 6-8 weeks is the hardest. Hang in there a couple more weeks and you should start noticing a difference.

Get the book "Babywise" and take from it what you need. I don't agree with all of it, such as not letting a baby have a pacifier, but there are some excellent points. When i was nursing my second, it really helped me. They basically tell you to get on an "eat, play, sleep " schedule. It's better for the baby's digestive system, and they know what to expect if you follow the routine. They love routines. Give it a try, and Good Luck!!

You're probably getting all sorts of advice. All I can tell you is do your best. You have to feed him A LOT! He's going through a lot of growth spurts so it is best to feed on demand...watch for hunger cues including sucking lips, fist in mouth. You cannot expect your baby to be on an "adult-friendly" schedule until about 4.5-6 months. A baby has NO concept of night and day. That is why when you do night feedings it is so important to keep the lights low, not talk, and just feed. Being a working mother is no easy feat but you decided to have this baby and now you belong to him and he, you. Rest will come...in 21 years!
Feed him, feed him, feed him...hold him, do the best you can and always remember he is brand new! Best of luck and congratulations!

J.,

Being a new mom can make you feel like a complete lunatic. They never tell you that. Everyone is so excited about the new baby, but they're nowhere to be found at 3am when he's screaming for food and you can't even see straight and you just want him to be happy. You're doing a great job! You just keep feeding him when he's hungry, because his needs are changing every week.

It feels like you can never get it down just right because just when you figure him out, it's time for a new routine. Fortunately, this doesn't last forever. You just keep on going and you will find that you actually can make it through work and taking care of your child on 3 hours of sleep. And then, before you know it, he's lasting longer and longer between feedings, he's sleeping longer and longer in the night, his little personality is really blossoming and it was all worth it.

But for now, just go with what he needs when he needs it. It feels like it will never end and that you can't get it straight, but you'll look back in a few months and realize how fast it went.

Do you have a caregiver yet? My son was a lot easier to manage once he was in child care. They are typically a lot more experienced than us new moms.

Anyway...good luck and hang in there. The exhaustion and frustration and insanity are all worth it when you see how he trusts you and loves you so much because he knows you are his mommy and you will do anything for him.

Take care.

-T.

It may help if you keep in mind that he may be screaming because he's MAD, not STARVING. It's soooooo hard in the middle of the night to stick to your guns, but tell yourslef before you go to bed whatever you want to stick to (for example, tell yourself you will not feed him unless 3 hours has passed- I'm not saying set that particular timing as your goal- just using it as an example)and just do it-- during the time that he is screaming, don't make him lay in bed an cry it out-- put him up on your shoulder and snuggle with him (as hard as it is with him screaming in your ear and squirming, don't put him down)-- watch the clock and keep telling yourself that he is not starving, just mad, and keep telling yourself that if you can stick it out for a few nights like this then it will retrain his little internal body clock to stop waking too often because there is no food reward for every single time he opens his eyes. I started doing that at around 6 weeks-- it was hard, but it worked. By the way, when you say "schedule", I actually think "routine" instead. When he eats, look at the clock and think about how many hours from that time you will feed him again and stick to it (as opposed to a "schedule" in which you would wake him at a certain time to make sure he eats at exactly the same time every day/night, which is not something I recommend- I know some parents do that and I think it's unnessesary and kooky)

I wish I knew what to say....
I let my babies lead me to what their schedule would be...
I'm sorry you're having a difficult time right now...
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I am also a fan of the "eat, play, sleep" routine. I have a 4 1/2 month old girl and she really follows it nicely. Right now her cycle is about every 3 to 4 hours. When she was your sons age, she would do all 3 every 2 hours. As they get older their playtime will get longer and their naps will be cut from many small ones to 2 longer ones. Good Luck and Congrats!!!!

I hate to be the one with the bad news, but a schedule isn't likely, or for that matter healthy at such a young age.
For the first 3 months, atleast, newborns need to eat when THEY are hungry, NOT when we want to feed them!They are growing so much during this time that they are the only ones who can determine how much they need to eat. At about 4-5 months old I was able to predict my son's eating schedule b/c he set it and I knew what to expect, but again that changes as well when going through growth spurts. I don't think a strict schedule with an infant is possible, predictable...yes.

Hi, I breastfeed so I fed my baby on demand for the first eight weeks. I fed every 2 to 3 hours for the first few weeks. As they gain weight they can eat a little more and go a bit longer. Having a schedule is very important. I would work on establishing nap and bedtime schedule first. Having a routine is the key to this. I followed the Sleep, Eat, Wake routine. I would feed then have some play time and then nap. I did not want my baby to associate eating with sleeping (falling asleep while nursing or drinking a bottle). I always put my baby down in his crib awake. He would cry for a bit, but usually fell asleep within twenty minutes. For his bedtime routine I would give him a bath nurse and put him down in his bed. I do the same thing today and he is 10 months old and a very happy baby. Good luck.

Hi J. J,

Number 1: babies don't feed on a schedule. Feed him when he is hungry. Little ones are growing so rapidly that from one week to the next, the amount they eat changes. Growth spurts are when you'll see him eat more. Always feed a baby when he's hungry and when he's done, he's done.

Hi J.! When my daughter was about 4 weeks old we started her on a pretty strict schedule of feedings every 3 hours. We read "Babywise" and it worked wonderfully for us. She ate every three hours (even if we had to wake her up from her nap) and after she ate we kept her awake as long as possible and then allowed her to sleep for about an hour and a half. By the time she was 7 weeks old, this was her schedule: Eat at 7am, play, down for nap at 8:30; eat at 10am, play, down for a nap at 11:30; eat at 1pm, play, down for a nap at 2:30; eat at 4pm, play, down for a nap at 5:30; eat at 7pm, play, down for a nap at 8:30; eat at 10pm, down for bed immediately after that feeding to teach her that we don't play at night. Eventually, she skipped the 1am and 4am feedings and slept through the night from her last feeding at 10pm through to 7am at 7weeks old. Our philosphy is that she has to get all her nutrients/feedings during the day time on the eat/play/sleep schedule. And, she's been a great sleeper ever since--even waking up from her nap like clockwork knowing it was time to eat again as well as happily going down for a nap after playing. She was taking 5 naps a day until 5 months old and sleeping from 10pm-7am. Eventually, you don't have to be so "on-time" but for the first few weeks I suggest sticking to the schedule as exact as you can--and hope that your childcare provider can do so as well once you go back to work. Hope this helps you!

I am a new mom of a 12 week old and I must say that the book Baby Wise has been wonderful to get on a schedule, He goes to sleep at 8:30 and wakes up at 6:00am but he still wakes up and wants his pacifier a couple times througout the night. But I aslo don't agree with everything they say.. pacifiers are a lifesaver for me but the actual routine they tell you to do is great. I have lots of friends that love the book as well..Also remember if he is only 6 weeks old, you can't expect 8 hours of sleep but I think if you started Baby Wise it might help you keep your sanity. My son did the same thing, slept long during the day but night was 2 hours, but I just kept with what Baby wise said and it eventually turned around. Don't forget about growth spurts too, my son had one at 6 weeks where he wanted to eat all the time so I just feed him when he is hungry and try not to stray too far from the schedule and after the growth spurts we get back to the schedule. I did this because I knew when he was 8 weeks old I had to go back to work as well and without sleep, I am not a happy camper at work and it will probably be difficult to go back to work with a lack of sleep, just know it will get better soon! Also 14 pounds is the magic number i am told by doctors, once they get there they usually sleep 8 hours at a time at night. Hope this helps!

Hey J., I am a new mom as well, and I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter is now 9m, and in the beginning, those same words were coming out of my mouth!-LOL Heres what I have learned so far....At 6 wks, your baby is too young to go on a schedule. It will all work itself out though. Just hang in there, and before you know it, this will all be a distant memory and you will have that routine. Anyway that you can delay going back to work? I was lucky enough to stay home for my daughters first 7m. Good luck, email anytime.

Hi, My name is J. 1st time mom of a 7 month old. I breast feed and had a really hard time getting my baby on a schedule. I bought every book there was (Babywise, Health Sleep Habits/Happy Child, the Contented Little Baby) Nothing I read helped, but then I stopped stressing and just went with the flow and he got on his own schedule. My only advice (other than that) is not letting him get overstimulated, 2 hours after he acts tired or not, put him down for a nap. During the day, I wouldn't let him go more than 2-3 hours without feeding, but don't over feed him, it may give him gas.

E-Mail me anytime I remember those days!!! It gets better though