How Do I Potty Train My 31/2 Yr Old Son with Mild Developmental Delays

J. please visit the website bootycampmom.com. Wendy is the trainer and she helped me with training my 5year old who has down syndrome.

J. C

A friend of mine has a son with "sensory issues" -- he's mild on the autism spectrum. She told me she potty trained him when he was 3 with the following method:
She explained about potty training and how it meant he was a "big boy". She had him help to pick a day for a "potty party" a couple weeks in the future. She talked up the "potty party" day for those couple weeks -- how fun it was going to be, what a special day -- anything to get him excited about it. She took him shopping and let him pick out big boy underwear, his own potty and a seat reducer for the toilet (she wasn't sure if he'd prefer the toilet or a potty, so she let him pick out one of each to try.) On the big day, she set up a play area with the potty. She had "prizes" for every time he successfully went potty (little toys and food treats). She let him drink as much juice, milk and water as he wanted so there would be lots of potty opportunities. She let him decide when to use the potty, but made a big fuss any time he even sat on it so he started sitting on it just to get the attention. She said that he kept just peeing in his pants at first, so she left him bare butt for the rest of the time as it was way easier to see him start to pee. She said it was an exhausting day, but that he was pretty much potty trained in that day. I think that most of what she did is from the book "potty training in one day" but I haven't read the book and she didn't say she used it, so I don't know for sure. She said the funniest thing that came out of the experience was that her son would clap and cheer and do a little dance for her and her husband whenever either of them went to the restroom. She said for a couple months any time any used the restroom in her house it was a big celebration.

Hi J.,

My son also had some developmental delays. Hw was not completely trained until he was almost five. But don't let that scare you. He was in pullups for the last 1 1/2 years before being trained. My son had chronic constipation and had to see a specialist, actually he is still seeing the specialist for rechecks just to make sure things are going ok. One thing I learned with a child with delays is to not try to force things. Nothing is worse than they feel backed into a corner. I agree with the incentive ideas but make it something he is really interested in. For example, my son LOVES animals so once he went for a week with no accidents we took him to the zoo. For little treats for trying but not quite making a whole week we would either rent a movie he wants to see or let him pick what was for dinner(whatever he wanted no matter if it was fast food or a fancy meal. The idea is that if they are really excited about the reward then they will really be encouraged to make it work. Good Luck and if you have any questions please feel free to ask.

Y.

Go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of toys that he likes and put them in a bag and tell him that he gets to pick a suprise out of the bag if he goes in the toilet. When my son was learning to go it was very hard and we did the toy thing and also me and my husband did the "happy potty dance" all around the house everytime he went and he loved it seeing us dancing acting funny that he loved going on the potty. Also taking privledges away seemed to help us with him going poop in his pull up first thing in the morning before he came to wake us up and that was at 4 years old. Just do what you think may work, try the dancing thing kids love when parents act funny

I agree make it fun and special. I would let my son pee on trees in the backyard or I would throw cherrios in the toilet so he could aim at them. Also, he loves going at the same time as Dad. It must be a "manly" thing, being able to stand up and go. the more fun and easy going you make it the less pressure he will feel that he has to do it and the more he will feel as if he wants to do it. That is the key. You know he doesn't want to leave it in his pants, so now offer him the other option.

Hi J.. As difficult as it may be i think you need to plan a week when you don't leave the house at all and get him to sit on the potty every 15 mins. once you have made the transision to underpants you must not put a nappy on at all unless for bed! The best way to get him to use the potty i believe is to use a reward chart on the wall using stars. At 3 1/2 i'm sure he will get a buzz about getting the stars put on and then he can work towards getting something he really wants. Maybe even a trip to his favorite place so long as he stays dry! Good luck. I'm sure you will have possitive results very soon.

Hi J.,

Well it sounds like your son is definitely ready esp. since he doesn't want to be dirty. How about if you take him to the store to pick out his own potty and special underwear. You can make this a special Mom and son (only) event and take him to his favorite restaurant or to a nice ice cream parlor. Make it like a right of passage. Talk it up how special the day is and what a big boy he is now. Put the kabosh on the diapers. He's going to have accidents and slip-ups but don't over react to these. Just say... "You'll get it right soon".

This worked for my son when he was ready. Also that children's dvd with the big bear and the potty is pretty good.

Good Luck.

Diana

J.,
My daughter was 5 with developmental delays, and still would not poop in the potty. She would hold it in until night, and then poop in the goodnight pullup. If we tried to get her on the potty before bed, she would cry and pitch a fit that made the whole thing crazy bad. Incentives and charts just did not seem to work with her.

We ended up going to an "elimination specialist." She had some excellent advice -- and within 1 week, she was trained. Amazing. Her steps:

1. First, if you are like us and are getting very frustrated and sometimes angry about the situation, apologize to your son for every time that you have gotten upset when he has gone in his pants instead of the potty. Tell him that from now on, you are not going to care at all if he goes in the potty. That is not important, and you are not going to get made about it. Because even getting to the potty is an issue, tell him that it is ok if he goes in his pants, but that he HAS to be in the bathroom when he goes. Focus on the place first. He has to be physically standing in the bathroom when he goes. When he is done, he must come tell you. Big boys go potty in the bathroom. If he is a big boy and potties in the bathroom instead of the playroom, he will get to do something special that only big boys get to do -- not necessarily buying him something, but maybe some special time with mom or dad doing something extra special that he would want to do -- extra books before bed, fishing, going to a special play area that is only for "big boys," etc. Something with only him, and not his sister because she is still too little. She is not a big boy like him. If he does go in his pants in the playroom, then clean him up and don't make a big deal about it. Later, remind him of what you had talked about earlier -- big boys go potty in the bathroom.

2. Then, after he has mastered the location of the bathroom, move him closer and closer to the potty. Then, maybe sitting on the potty with his pull-up on. Then, cutting down his pull-up until it is smaller and smaller and then not there at all.

My daughter was very proud of herself for just going in the bathroom. We made that a very big deal, and she got to do special baking/cooking time with mommy without her little sister. Then, a few days later, she just started going on the potty herself. That was it. We didn't even need to go through all of the steps. She did have a regression a few weeks later, and we started the process all over again. We found a different incentive for "big girls" that she REALLY wanted, and that was it.

I hope this helps. It worked really well with us. Good luck.