How Do I Put a Positive Spin on the "Bonus" Year?

*Adding this: If you do decide to keep your son at preschool for a bonus year, make sure your older kids do NOT "tease" him about it. There is no need to. And if they have questions about it they should ask YOU... not him. He will not know how to explain it.
My daughter did ask why her 2 classmates (per below) was still in preschool or Kindergarten, when she had gone on. I simply told her that everyone is different and their Mom decided that that grade was best for them. And it does not mean that it is better or worse. Everyone has a different time to graduate onward.

*First, make sure that you DO want to keep him there, for the bonus year. You said he is 'smart' but has LOADS of energy. Well, most boys do. So is this the only reason, for keeping him back? Or is it his overall emotional "maturity" and numerical age? If his maturity is fine, and his skills...then it may be okay. Has his teachers recommended he stay back? Have you asked them? Is he a good student presently and can listen to direction/follow instruction and cooperate?

That exact same thing, happened with my friend and her son.
My other friend, also had the same thing happen with her daughter. Both are late-born as well. For these friends, one kept her son back due to emotional maturity/readiness. For my other friend, she just wanted to keep her daughter at preschool longer because she did not want her daughter to grow up too fast or feel school stress already. Which, her daughter is quite fine and mature and academically ready.

BOTH kids are perfectly fine! They did their "bonus" year of Preschool, and the other classamtes went off to Kindergarten at different schools. Presently, they are now in Kindergarten themselves, while the other kids in their class (like my daughter) is now in 1st grade. It was NO PROBLEM for either child.
In fact, they are totally enjoying Kindergarten now, despite their other classmates being in 1st grade, and seeing each other on campus. And they had NO problem "still" being in Preschool while the other classmates left to go on.

I'm sure he will be fine. Sometimes, we just worry for our child and it's TOTALLY normal, for the Mom to do so. But, as I saw in my friend's children... they had NO problem with it whatsoever! It was mostly the Moms that were worried and over compensated.

My friends just explained to their children that each kid is different and that as a Mom, they feel that staying at their preschool was nice for them etc. But really, it took no extra sort of "convincing" the child or anything special. They just simply told their child that they will still be at their preschool next year, that every child goes on to Kindergarten at different times. The Teachers though, ALSO explained to the children about "school" and how each year each child has different schedules.

MY daughter is late born as well.... but per her maturity level/school readiness, AND her teacher's input... we let her go on to Kindergarten. She was 4 yrs. old almost 5 at the time. She is now in 1st grade where she turned 6 yers. old. She did not suffer at all in any way from being in school. She even told us she wanted to go on. It has worked out, and my daughter is happy and does well in school.

Don't worry.
It'll be okay.
All the best,
Susan

hi, I just moved here from being a teacher in New Mexico where you have to be 5 by August 31st so I was surprised how late it is here. However, I think in general I'd just let him go to kindergarten and then repeat that if needed. You can always ask for that. It's like a lost year to them if they don't really need it... it effects you for decades... in that you get out of HS later... college later, maybe just miss a cut-off... In general I think maturity level is WAY down on the list for needing to repeat. Wouldn't you rather have him repeat learning to read and do harder math than the simplier stuff? If he's terribly bored (and upset you held him back from friends) then he might act out. If you think he's smart enough and developmentally there I'd say let him go.

Hi M.,

We are doing the same thing by holding him back (have a son born late September too) however since he is attending a private preschool like your son we are putting him in the kindergarten year at his preschool to get used to the skills and then will put him in regular kindergarten in public school. I think the year in the preschool kindergarten will help him get used to the schedule and skill requirements needed in today's kindergarten class. If your son is clearly smart why not put him in the kindergarten class at the preschool? He will be with his friends and learn a lot while getting ready for the challenges in his future kindergarten class. Good luck!

At this age, they really don't care or understand about grade levels, etc. I'm holding my November baby son back this fall for another year in kindergarten, and honestly, he's excited about the prospect of being a "leader" next year. He's gone through the entire school year this year knowing he's the youngest kid in the class, and he is happy that next year he'll be one of the oldest.

But if it really bothers you, have you considered sending him to a different, perhaps more challenging preschool, next year? Then you can just tell him that he is going to a new school, just like all of his friends are.

You completely contradict yourself. You say he's smart, but you don't think he's ready? Makes no sense hon. If he's smart let him go! Kindergarten is NOT hard unless they've changed it recently. He'll have plenty of time to work off that energy all while staying with his friends AND learning. Don't hold your son back unless he's absolutely struggling with the easiest things.

I know how you feel. I faced the same thing with my daughter when she reached that age. All of her friends in preschool were leaving for kindergarten, and I caved into her wishes and let her go too. She seemed to be doing as well as the other kids so I thought it would be alright. It wasn’t. After kindergarten she struggled for the next 6 years before I sent her to private school. Take comfort in knowing your son will have a much happier time throughout grade school because is staying in preschool now. Just explain that he is younger than his friends and isn’t old enough yet to go to kindergarten. The key I think is his making new friends. Do all that you can to see that happen. Become friendly with the other parents and have play dates with the new kids.