How Do I Stop Breastfeeding?

Hi L.,
Don't be embarassed- you made the decision that was best for your family and your situation. I can relate, but my daughter was not as old as yours- mine was 15 months when we weaned and for me, I thought it was going to be a struggle and I dreaded the day when we would have to but you know what, it wasn't bad at all. She would nurse to sleep also, so I found a comfort item (we used the lullaby glowworm) and I told her "it's all gone" and she understood. She only asked for for it once or twice after that (when she woke up in the middle of the night). But if you keep all other activities the same in your bedtime routine, she should do fine. But you have to stand your ground. If you give in, it will probably be harder for you the next time because she thinks if she cries enough, she will get the milk. Good luck!

Hey there mama,
I am a mother of 5 (ages 2 months to 10 years) I have nursed them all. I quit at different stages for each of them, usu. because I was pregnant again. With my first, I stopped at 18 months, mostly because my "friends" were giving me a hard time (they didn't have children yet, and when they did, they nursed way passed 18 months!!) I wish I wouldn't have let peer pressure get to me. With my 2nd, I was preg. and he was only 9 months. He just gave it up in a day. I was sad to stop, and I didn't know I could've encouraged him longer...I thought my milk must've tasted weird because I was pregnant or something.

Then, with my 3rd, she was 19 months and really didn't want to quit, but I was preg. again and although we had continued nursing through my first trimester and into my 2nd one, it started to be too hard for me. I made her quit one day and just tapered off...she wanted it still, but it was just one of those hormonal things for me and I just couldn't take it. Eventually she was ok...I gave her a sippy cup of chocolate milk to get her mind off of it...don't know if that is the best thing to advise (it took a while to get her off "chocky" later...) but it worked. Then, with baby 4, I was pregnant again, and she was 28 months or so...maybe a little more...and the same thing happened. The freaky hormonal thing kicked in and I weaned her pretty quick. I tried to stick it out, but couldn't take it>(I've heard this is pretty common among pregnant nursing mamas.) I was highly motivated to stop nursing so I just wouldn't let her. Eventually, she stopped asking. I know this sounds mean in a way, but it was a survival thing for me and I reminded myself, when I felt guilty, that I had nursed this child passed 2 years, which was a lot. You did too, so don't let the guilt beat you up.

I am enjoying nursing longer and longer with each of my children. The grow up so fast...It is such a precious time. I encourage you not to be in such a hurry. But, I understand if it is just time for you...and you are over it...then try giving her something else in it's place...a special big girl thing...the special drink, or treat( there are lots of healthy options) Of course, PRAY!! God will lead you. Be encouraged. You'll find what works best for you and your sweet baby girl. Love, K.

I know that this is a late response, but here goes my two cents worth. I nursed my daughter (only child) until she was nearly two. Pretty much by that time, she was taking a sippy cup during the day with meals etc, and it was mainly a comfort thing for her at bedtime. I was able to start a new bedtime routine for her that she transitioned into beautifully. We sat in the same rocker in her room that I would nurse her to sleep in, but instead, I would cuddle her and rock her and tell her how much I loved her, and read her a book, sometimes two. Usually, she would be asleep before the end of the first book, and she loved the books so much it wasn't a problem to give up the nursing because if she was facing me, she couldn't see the book. She is almost 5 now, and still comes in every night, somewhere between 3 and 6AM almost every night. She calls it "swumbling" - "when you sneak in and cuddle with someone who is sleeping and they don't know you are there". Of course, we know she is there, she practically sleep walks in, settles into a snuggly spot and is soundly sleeping in seconds - I figure it is kind of a hold over from that nursing comfort in the middle of the night. Good luck! Hope that this helps.

Hi L.,

We went from very needful nursing at 24 months to totally weaned by 28 months, with no frustrations along the way. It just became less important and we substituted lots of snuggling instead.

You might check mothering.com/discussions, there's a section on Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy. HTH!

Congratulations! I am so very proud of you. I weaned my girls at 8 weeks and 10 and a half months, so I do not have advice from personal experience. I have a very good friend whe nursed until about 2 and a half. She finally had to stop nursing, because she was to embaraced to tell her physician that she was still nursing and he prescribed her medication that she could not take if she was nursing. She actually went and stayed with her sister for 5 days while she was on the medication and left her daughter at home with dad. By the time that she got back she had dried up and there was no comfort in nursing. Good Luck!

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you but I'm really envious of your situation. I know that sounds weird, but I had planned to nurse my daughter until she was 2 (give or take) as well. By the time she was 10 and a half months old, I had to" wrestle" with her to get her to nurse anymore. Eventually, she sat up in my lap, climbed down and said "No more, Mama. All done." That was the last day she nursed and I was so sad. I know you have to quit at some point and I'm sure there are some great resources out there for advice, but knowing that you're coming to the end of babyhood with her, enjoy every last second. :)
Best wishes, lucky mom. :)

If you hear of any truly MAGIC tricks please let me know. My son is 15 months and still loves to nurse. I have tried and tried to get him to stop and he can "kick the habit" for a full 3 days, but as soon as we think he is finally over it he feels the need to get his "fix." I know nursing is the best for your baby, but I am ready to get a full nights rest! Nursing has become a comfort thing for my son and he is up all hours of the night to nurse. He sleeps in his own bed until about 4am and from 4-6 am he nurses non-stop, then again from 8-9... I don't know how much more I can take!!!! Good luck!!

L., sorry, i cant say i have been in your shoes,but its a great thing that you were able to breastfeed your daughter to her current age! she should be really healthy! great job! i wish i could of breastfeed my son that long. i was only partailly able to until he turned one. unfortunately i dont have any advice on stopping. maybe you could try a pump or just letting her feed but lessen the time and (giving her less and less,till none.) just a thought.

Congratulations on giving your daughter such a wonderful gift! You have no need to be embarrassed one bit! You have done a great thing! What precious memories you will have of your time together!

Night time nursing means far more to the child than just a drink. This is how they unwind, get comfy, feel secure and have bonded and connected with you for something very special. They see it as an act of love from you and don't understand why you would not want to give that anymore. Unless you are absolutely against it, there is really no need to stop. Kids don't use watches, calendars or deadlines, and her natural internal clock is saying that she isn't really naturally ready to wean from those particualr nursing sessions yet. It probably means that emotionally and mentally, it would be more natural and comforting to her to continue until she herself doesn't make any more requests. Most people would say to start with gentle redirection, but this usually works for the nursing sessions that they don't care so much about....night time is totally different. You have tried some things and still find that she really feels better abot nursing at those times, so if it were me, I would continue to offer her the comfort and security that she has grown to trust. To a small child, they can see it as rejection- which can be totally confusing, causing stess, anxiety and insecurity. I'm sure you found that the night goes much happier and smoother if she nurses to sleep and in the night...why not continue until her natural development says she's ready to let it go???? I wish you the best, my daughter nursed day and night until about 2 1/2 or a little longer... She is 3.5 now and when I even mention how she used to love it, it she looks at me like I am a unicorn! How quickly their feelings change about something so precious once they have grown to no longer want it or need it! Sad, but wonderful... Don't worry, she won't be nursing in college. Like all great things, this too shall pass....

There is a Yahoo group specifically for moms that are nursing babies past one year where you can ask anything and read the archives for similar topics. Your Q has been asked a hundred times, I'm sure :-) The Yahoo group is Extended_Nursing I think....

Hi L.,

I slowly weaned my son. I think at the time I started he was nursing about three times a day. So I cut out one session. Then after a few months I dropped it down to one time a day. And several months later I cut it out totally. I gave him lots of hugs and reassurances.

When he was just two, he was still nursing pretty regularly. I night weaned him around that age. That was hard, but we got through it. I basically followed Dr. Jay Gordon's approach http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp . He was still getting to nurse during the day and as soon as the sun rose in the morning he'd ask to nurse. He was a bit older when we weaned entirely.

Good luck to you!

L.

Hi L.,

First of all, congrats on nursing your daughter to 2 years! I love finding other "extended" nursing moms-- it really is a huge gift for our kids. Okay, down from soapbox...

We are in a similar boat. My daughter just turned 2 and I am halfheartedly trying to wean. It's going slowly, but I'm okay with that because I don't want it to be a negative experience and a battle.

I just try to distract when she asks. I offer her a drink instead or a toy. If daddy puts her to bed, she goes down fine without nursing. At naptime I still nurse her down or sometimes she won't go to sleep.

Every time I think I'll more actively wean, my older daughter gets sick and then I think, "why wean now when the antibodies will protect her? I'll just wait..." Which is great because she hardly ever gets sick and when she does it's very minor. Plus, I know when it's all over I will miss it terribly as she is likely to be my last baby.

Anyway, not tons of advice, but I sympathize! I guess I would say enjoy it while it lasts, maybe talk to her about not nursing anymore because she's a big girl now, etc. You could reward her for not coming into your room at night with a sticker chart of something, but I don't know if she's too little for that (I don't think mine would be convinced). Or redirect her back to her room without nursing, give her some water in a cup instead.

I remind myself that they don't nurse forever, and she will eventually lose interest, plus they get so many benefits from toddler nursing. In the end, I'd love to hear what you do. Good luck! :)

L., I have an almost 16 month old and I was wondering the same thing. I always said I'd breastfeed til 1 then ween. Well he enjoys it so much and, he's such a healthy kid I didn't want to traumatize him and stop. So If you ever get a good answer on how to gently ween, let me know will you? Good luck to you and don't be embarassed, your daughter will grow up loved and self assured because she got all the milk her body wanted and needed. It is a comfort thing I think and what a wonderful thing to teach her! H.

Don't feel embarrased. Most anyone who has nursed longer than 6 months would understand. It's so different with each child... My oldest and youngest weaned themselves off at 15 and 9 months, respectively. My middle child wouldn't let go, like your daughter, he would crawl into bed and nurse when I was sleeping. I actually had to go away on a business trip for 1 week and that's when he stopped. Well, actually, when I came back he asked for it again, but I said there was no more milk left and he said o.k. My friend's son stopped at almost 3 years old because he fell and cut his lip so bad it hurt him to nurse. I don't have any answers for you. I can only provide some comfort in letting you know you are not alone. Good luck!

I tandem nursed for about a month, but then it was too much for me and I just had to ween my 2 1/2 year old. Dad had to help. He stepped up to offer as much distraction as possible when my daughter wanted to nurse. It just needed to be a firm 'no'. The problem was me wanting to give in. So dad's help was important for me.