How Do I Stop Breastfeeding? - Riverhead,NY

Personally, I started to wean mine at the same age because breastfeeding had appeared to shift from feeding/bonding to soothing. He needed to start learning to self soothe. The sessions that would usually end with him falling asleep, I would take him off earlier, right before he would go off. It would just make him drowsy. When shortened more, it became just to calm him. His need changed accordingly. It was gradual, about 8 weeks or so. Holding back a little each time gave him slow building independence. The daytime feedings that were for obvious comfort versus hunger were another story- This is when I'd use the same techniques you'd use for getting rid of a paci, for example. Distraction with toys/books played a major role. I also learned that high necked shirts helped a lot- out of sight out of mind!
I also contacted the La Leche League via email with questions. I received personal support free of charge.
Good luck to you both!

You'll probably get answers from two different "camps" of thinking on this one. Either "be tough and stick to your guns and make him quit" or "let him decide when he's ready to quit" . I think it's most important to do what you feel is right for him AND you and not let anyone make you feel guilty about what you end up doing.

If he takes a bottle easily that might make giving up nursing easier for him, but then again it might not. I cut out the mid-morning and afternoon nursings first, and eventually naptime and bedtime nursing - he was 17 months before we got to that point. Seems like as they get more interested in eating real food it's easier to talk them into not nursing, but it's also a comfort thing for them so it IS hard to give up.

Remember you're doing a great job and your son is going to turn out just fine no matter how much longer you do or don't nurse him :-) God bless!

It sounds like he is just not ready yet. The best thing to do is be patient. He will give you signals when he is ready to stop. Its very comforting for him. You are doing it right by eliminating one feeding at a time. Dont eliminate the morning, nap time or bed time nursings 1st. When he does nurse, read a book to him and tell him that at the end of the book the milk has to go bye bye. If he fusses a lot immediately have something to distract him and take his mind off of it. Dont set a goal for 14 months, instead set a goal for sometime in his 2nd year. Its puts less stress on the both of you. He has to have time to adjust to not getting booby juice when he asks. He has started his weaning process the minute you started giving him solids, so its happening. Just enjoy it now, because you will miss it when he is done. Weaning my son at 23 months was one of the hardest things I have had to do. You can seek more advice from going to your local La Leche League meetings. There are plenty of moms and consultants there to support you and give you lots of advice. Good luck mama!

Do you HAVE to be done at 14 months? I'm not one for letting the children self wean but I wasn't the type who HAD to be done at 1 year either. In fact, my oldest was the youngest to wean at 13 months. My next son was 22 months and my youngest was just over 2. Yeah, he went WAY longer than I wanted him to but he was the hardest to wean.

He needs to be down to the nighttime feedings I think to make weaning easier. People would tell me to stop nursing by a minute less each time. I don't know about you but we didn't have exact timed feedings like that so that didn't help me one bit.

So during the day I would distract. I'd go for a walk when it was naptime so he'd fall asleep in the stroller or I'd put a movie or Sesame Street on then sit with him so he was still getting the cuddle time. He'd fall asleep while watching his show. Once he got down to just nighttime, I had my husband take over. At night, he would take them upstairs with a cup or bottle and lay with them for a while. The first couple of nights there would be tears but my husband would just keep cuddling them, telling them it was okay, and just talking softly to get them to calm down. Usually by the third night they would just lay there, even with me, and go to sleep without looking for it. I would start with the naps though.

I would absolutely be against just letting him CIO though. Personally I find that method mean regardless of the reason but to take something that he has come to see as his comfort time and just rip all aspects away from him sounds harsh to me. I would do everything I could to make the time still special which is why I suggested going for a walk or cuddling while watching one of his favorite shows. It may take a while. You might not be able to just start cutting him off right away. I don't think you are wrong for letting him nurse when he really wants to. The thing is to try to delay giving it to him and to shorten the time he has it. You can do that without sending him into a tizzy and in the end, yourself too.

I wish you the best. I give you a ton of kudos for nursing to 1 year as that is so important in itself. I do feel for you because I know what it's like to have one (or 2 in my case) who won't give it up without a struggle. If you can be okay with maybe going past 14 months as long as you are on the right path and can do this calmly for both of you, I think you'll be fine before you know it. Just don't forget the cuddles so he knows even though the booby went away, you and the cuddles did not! :)

BTW, I don't know why people think it has to be all or nothing. We have children. If there's one thing I learned quickly is that all or nothing doesn't always work. Sometimes you have to give a little which means you can't "be tough and stick to your guns no matter what" and sometimes you have to push your little one to do things they don't want to vs. letting them go until they want to. We have to compromise in relationships all the time. Doing so with our children isn't a bad thing and is teaching them the art of compromise too. They just don't realize it yet.

He is probably teething right now and that seems to make it harder, at least in my house. If he's not easily weaning right now, try waiting a month and then try again. At that time he may wean easily. You don't need 4 months of weaning, you can still nurse him right now if he wants it and be done at 14 months. Good luck and enjoy this time.

Hi J.,

I think your son senses your own anxiety about weaning and he is insecure. If you could let him wean himself, he'll be happier. All babies eventually wean.
Things will go easier for you if you'll relax and just go with the flow. Babies know what they need...better than we do!

"Grams"
from the Pocono Mts. of PA

I'm using the don't offer, don't refuse approach. My daughter is 19 months old now and only nurses when she is scared at night or when she is teething. For a long time I thought that I should impose deadlines on how things should proceed--when solid foods should be eaten etc. I finally realized that it is much less stressful to go with the flow. There's give and take when it comes to your needs and his. Just don't try to force anything either way unless you really, really need to. If you can follow his lead on the weaning life will probably be easier for both of you.

My daughter was just the same! I nursed her until she was 2. She needed it to sleep, etc. I tried to fight it but I really just ended up taking my cues from her. I think that was the best route and if I'd just followed it from the start it would have saved both of us a lot of tears and lack of sleep. At two she did fuss when I would lay next to her and NOT nurse her and just tell her she's a big girl now and it's time to stop nursing and go to sleep on her own. For a few nights she would lay on top of me, toss and turn, etc. I don't think she cried that much even.

The first question is 'why do you want to stop?' If it's no longer enjoyable for you, then you need to wean him now,. Has he ever taken a bottle before? If not, pump into the bottle/cup for a few feedings. Make it a game to start with a cup.

Also, if there's someone other than you who can give him a few feedings it will be easier. Whenever a nursed child is by the mom they instinctively want to nurse even when given an alternative.

Have you discussed this with either your docs? They may have ideas that would work for your child who they know.

Good luck ... and remember to keep smiling & hug the ones you love.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

If he is waking up for extra nursing sessions at night, he might be in a growth spurt. He might just need the extra nourishment, not necessarily the comfort of nursing (unless he is teething as another mom mentioned). You could try giving him some cheese and whole grain crackers as a snack just before bedtime. That might reduce his need for food during the night and keep him asleep longer.

like 3rugrats said, you can listen to our thoughts, but only you know if now's the right time to stop nursing. I do not know really what to do in your situation, but I'll tell you what I did that worked for my son when I started weaning him at 1 year.

At 1 year, he was nursing 6 times a day. I did not want to wean him from breast to bottle, so did from breast to sippy cup. We cut out one feeding at a time, saving the naptime feeding and bedtime feeding till the very end. He still got his 6 'feedings' but they were with a sippy cup with whole milk instead of the breast. We still rocked or sat together while he drank his cup. My son fussed a little, but I just wouldn't allow the breast. He'd rather drink his cup than nothing at all. And even then, he got to where he'd rather go play than sit with me to nurse. Sippy cup we used were those cheap "take n' toss" brand. I tried other brands with a soft tip, assuming they might help the transition. My son chewed on the rubbery tip, so I stopped using those. I didn't want him to learn to chew on me! Ouch! Granted, you might try a few different cups to see what your son will prefer. Oh and with my son, we got rid of middle-of-the-night feedings at 9 months. I was TOO tired! Used Babywise book and he was sleeping through night w/in 3 days.

Good luck. And yes, he could be teething and just be having a hard time letting go, not wanting to get rid of this comforting time with mom. But I completely understand. BFeeding is a dedication - you've given him the great healthy milk that he needs for one whole year. I bet you're ready to be done with the pump and have a margarita any time of the day or night!