How Do We Stop Our 18 Month Old from Thowing Food at Mealtimes?

Sounds like fun! (For HIM; not for YOU! LOL) Also sounds like you're handling it pretty well. Go ahead and take the food away as soon it starts. If he's still hungry, it won't take many times for him to get the message that this is unacceptable. And if he's NOT hungry, well, it needs to be taken away anyway. It's s'posed to be 'food', not 'recreation'!

Hi J.,

You might want to take a step back and start feeding him for a little while. It could be that he's looking for attention. Then, give him one or 2 bites (within reach) at a time. If he eats them, give him more. If he throws them on the floor, feed him, get him down out of the chair or give him something ealse to do until he's ready to eat. Those worked for my "thrower". Hope it helps!!

Good luck!!

Watching your toddler make extra messes to clean can be frustrating... and with the addition of a new baby to care for, I'm sure that the last thing you want to be doing is cleaning up an extra food mess.... I empathize with your annoyance!

The mind thinks in pictures... so when we tell a child not to do something, such as don't (throw your food), the picture that appears in his mind is throwing food... and the child then has to figure out what to do instead. A simple cooperation tool that I learned, is to tell the child what TO do instead of what not to do (in this case "Keep Your Food On Your Tray")... This way, you are offering the child the image of the positive behavior you want him/her to see and do.

Another thing you might try would be to acknowledge the child's perspective
"I know that throwing things can be fun"... then offer info, "But Food is for Eating"...
and offer an acceptable substitute to meet his desire....
"a BALL is for throwing.... as soon as we're done eating, we can throw the ball together"
(perhaps getting some of those "crazy balls" often found in gumball-type machines - the kind that bounce really high - to drop off his high chair tray during a non-eating time might be a fun and positive way for him to meet his playful desire (***ONLY under close supervision, though, since their small size could present a choking hazard***) then if the child begins to throw food, you could remind that food is for eating~balls are for throwing... as soon as you're done eating, we can play the ball-bouncing game.)

If you think the reason for his food throwing behavior is because he is done and bored with eating... then you might try teaching him skills for signaling that he is finished/letting you know that he is done. You could tell him...
"Food needs to stay on the tray - if you are finished eating you can say "all done"
(or you could offer him a hand signal he could use to show that he is "all done")

IF the behavior is intentional, with a goal of attention/involvement, then continuing to correct more than once, will give the behavior a payoff and continue the attention cycle.
An effective way to break a negative attention cycle is to respond ONCE, offering the child an acceptable way to get your attention, then ignore.
You might say something like...
"I can see that you want to play.... but throwing food makes a big mess that mommy does
not want to clean... If you want me to play with you, you can ask me - like this, "Mommy will you play with me?" (or if your child is not yet that verbal, you could offer a hand signal for him to use that means "I want you to play with me")
Ignore the behavior (not responding verbally or with your body language), until the child displays the appropriate behavior that you want to see. As soon as he does, reinforce with descriptive, encouraging statements that describe the positive behavior and the value of it.... such as "You asked me to play with words (or with our special hand signal) this time!... I'm glad to play when people ask with words/signals.......... and look, you kept your food on your tray... right where it belongs... now there is less time to clean and more time to play..."

Throwing food is a typical toddler behavior that many parents struggle with and I agree with your recognition that this behavior is probably at least partly caused by the child's developmental stage of exploring and developing independence... Sometimes, though,
(and this may or may not be the case in your situation) the way we respond can cause unintentional, developmentally appropriate behavior to mutate into deliberate misbehavior with a certain goal.

I would begin with the assumption that the behavior is unintentional and try inviting cooperation by using tools like positive requests, substitution, etc.. and by teaching skills...
If the behavior is intentional, your child will probably go out of his way to show you this, and then you can respond by attempting to break the attention cycle by offering him a more positive way to get your attention, and ignoring until he displays the behavior you want.
Keeping in mind the long-term result you want can help, as you try to ignore the behavior (also prevention-wise, putting smaller amounts of food on the tray... ie.. only a few bites at a time... then adding more as it is eaten can help avoid a big mess to clean)...
If the goal of the behavior is truly attention/involvement then it seems that it would logically follow that getting zero attention would cause the behavior to stop after a few unsuccessful attempts.
If the behavior continues (after consistently trying this for a few days) then perhaps, there is a different goal.

Hope these suggestions help!
I'm sure that with your own experimentation and the many different suggestions you receive, you will find what works for you and your child.

Good Luck!

S.

Hi, The best way to stop this is to take away the food after he throws it. Tell him no, we don't throw our food or I will take it away, once. Then if he throws it, calmly remove the food from in front of him. Give it back only when you tell him that it is not appropriate to throw food. If he does it again, then just calmly remove it from him each time. The main thing is to stay calm and not react to it. Good luck.

In my experience working with this age group this usually means your child is done and no longer wants his/her food. I would remind him to put his food on his plate. Give him 2 chances of following that instruction on the second chance tell him you will put his food away if he throws it. It will take a few times of doing this for him to fully understand. It is okay to give it back the 1st few times you try it until he understands what putting the food away really means. After 3 tries at taking and giveing back I would take the food and have him enjoy the rest of meal time talking with the family without giving the food back. Chances are he really isn't hungry if he is throwing the food. I would make sure to save the food and refrigerate it for a few hours in case he gets hungry. You wouldn't want him to be without but consistant consequences for his action will encourage him to eat if he is hungry. He is probebley not doing it to misbehave he just isn't hungry. But table manners have to be placed early bad habits are hard to break. Once he learns what putting the food away means, he will eat if he is hungry after the 1st warning.

Well you're starting off right by taking his food away. Most likely he is finished with his food; but keep some leftovers for later, or give him a snack later if he seems hungry. Almost all kids this age won't sit still for more than 5-10 minutes at meal time, and usually that's enough time for their little tummies to get full. if you want him to sit longer at the dinner table, give him a special toy or activity just for meal time that will have him sit longer and not end up throwing food. This will be especially helpful in restaurants.
When you say "DON'T" toddlers don't hear the "don't" they hear "throw food" even with the serious face. The better thing to say is "we eat our food", or "let's try eating it instead". Children don't comprehend negatives at this age, they only comprehend actions. So all he's hearing when you say "don't throw food" is "throw food" and he thinks it's a game. The best thing for you to do right now is exactly what you're doing, taking his food away and ending the meal.
Good Luck and CONGRATULATIONS on the new baby! You definitely got your hands full!!

Ignore it; don't let them see you sweat! Just take the food away. It is hard doing that but, trust me, if they are hungry they would be eating it not throwing it. Give really small portions; when he starts throwing take it away and make him sit there while you finish eating.

As hard as it is to do, ignore it. My oldest was horrible abotu tossing food on the floor when he was a toddler. We ended up cutting open a trash bag to place on the floor under his high chair, and I would only give him one or 2 things to eat at a time. In the end, if it ended up on the floor, all I had to do was throw the bag away. (We rented the place at the time and it had a carpeted kitchen floor! talk about a royal pain to clean with a small one running around.)

I needed a good laugh, and this was it!!! I have a 19 month old boy who also does the same thing and thinks it is too funny...I thought we had the only comedian this young!!! Really though, we have been doing the same thing as you, saying no and taking the food/fork/cup/whatever away after a few warnings. It is SLOWLY starting to sink in. I know he is seeing the light. I also truly believe that any hungry human will not throw their food away, so I figure both our kids are not starving. Joshua is my third, and the first two didn't take so long to learn table manners. Trust me though, you do NOT want to have a 3 or 4 year old that you never want to take out to eat. I think you are already doing the right things and your little one may just take a while. We may just have 2 little boys that are either strong willed or have a great sense of humor - neither is a tragedy!! Good luck at dinner and I will think of you every time I'm sweeping the floor!!!

It is very typical for 12 to 18 month olds to get into the habit of throwing things, whether it is food or any knind of an object. It is part of the developmental process of object permamance skills. So, since it is a natural occurrance, it is hard to deal with it.
Here are as few things, however that I have recommended to my clients ( I am a child psychologist) that have worked.
1.)The brain does not recognize the negative words of "No" or "Don't". So when you give the command of " Don't throw your food" the brain ( child) hears " Throw your Food". To combat this, give a command that is contrary such as,"_____ (child's name) "eat your food",or " Food on plate" or "Hands down",or " meal time is for eating".
2.) I like that you are using a firm voice but be sure, in no way to acknowlede that it is funny. Your child will quickly pick up on this and continue the game.
3.)Another approach is to limit the portion of the food so that there is not alot of extra food to throw.
4.) If and when your child starts to throw the food you, in a very calm and matter of fact way say," Oh, ____ (child's name) you must be finished with your meal and remove it while also saying, let me know if you get hungry later. At that time give another chance.... if he continues to throw then remove the food again with the same command. This sends the message that meal time is for eating and if food is being thrown, then that means the meal is over. This can be tricky so you need to be sure you are not in the habit of letting this become a game as well.
Hope that this is help full.
T. H.

Hi J., I haven't cared for a child so small in a long time, but I would believe that as long as he's not hungry and thinks it's fun, he won't stop til he's ready; especially since he's not responding to your verbal commands. Did you ever see the kid movie, "Mr Bellvedere"?He had a solution for the toddler who threw food. He placed the bowl of cereal on the kid's head. Actually, I think that's a good idea. If he has the uncomfortable feeling of cereal on his head after dropping food on the floor, he should stop. Think thats cruel? Well maybe you're right. Just keep cleaning the floor, til he decides to stop. Smile! Better yet, continue to take his plate. Kids at his age have small appetites and tend not to eat much. Just make sure he stays well hydrated.

My toddler throws things too but it's usually plates forks and toys. I put him in time out and that seems to remind him for awhile to not do it. He still continues to do it but not on a regular basis. It's just something they figure out they can do and I think most kids will throw things be it food or something else. Of course my little one is older than yours. My son is 32 months old so time out is something that my son can understand. Don't know if an 18th month old would understand the time-out concept. Good luck. J.

I am a mom with a 25 yr old son (special needs) and work in a preschool (9 yrs.). If you can say something positive before he begins throwing food, emphasize the positive. When he throws the first piece, you need to take away his food and let him watch the family eat. Do this with a big fuss. He is obviously using this for addition at mealtime. He should quiet when he doesn't get a reaction.

At that age my son ate a big breakfast and refused all other meals. His pediatrician told me not worry. At this age kids are exploring and he will eat when he is hungry. It only took a big grwoth spurt and it was over.

Good Luck. P. in Memphis

Mine does that sometimes. I let her feed herself because she wants to be independent, however if she starts throwing it, then I tell her no and then plate gets pushed back and if she is hungry I will feed her.
All you can really say is no you don't do that, that is not nice or that is not proper or something to that effect. This is a baby that doesn't understand and it is natural to do that. It is all part of the growing stage and the learning stage. This is the time you teach that you don't throw food. If he doesn't eat with you feeding him then dinner is over. Try it again later. That is really all you can do. You can't spank or yell or get aggrevated. Just keep telling him no that is not how it goes. It will be over and over and over and over again process but at some point it will stick and change. Good luck

just ignore him. toddlers love to treat us like trained monkeys. if he knows you will make the funny "serious" face and get out of your seat to clean up his mess every time he throws food, he will keep right on throwing it. just talk to your husband like he is not there, and he will realize that if he wants your attention,. he will have to find a better way to do it. just make sure when he tries to get your attention in a good way, like making a noise or calling your name, that you respond quickly, or he may find an even more unpleasant way of getting you.

You're doing the right things--just don't worry about your son not getting to eat more if you take the food away! Keep a matter of fact tone and take the food away the first time he throws it. You can try giving it back to him ONCE, but if he throws food again, remove the food from the table and let him down from his chair. He WILL learn that it is not okay to throw his food that way. Giving him that one chance to get his food back is a great way for him to get the opportunity to ammend his behavior after you restate your expectations.

Good luck and congrats on the new baby!

Best advice I can give is to ignore him.He is 18mths old and already very smart.The minute you or your husband react he has got you!Trust me when I say he is not going to starve and just remember the golden rule...mom and dad are the boss,he does not understand reason at his age.Its a case of lead by example.when you dont react he will get fed up of his little game.Also,you have to remember that there is a new little guy in the house taking up some of his parents time,could be his way of saying " there is a big change going on" Its a phase he will soon grow out of.
best of luck!

Could he be doing this as a result of having to share the attention with your new little one? My 3 yr old is reacting to having my new two month old and its getting exhausting trying to keep him happy and make individual time for him, my 11 yr old and the new one too. Does he cry when you take the food away? If not, then maybe he really is done with it at that point. Try giving him smaller portions of food, if he still throws it, at least you have less to clean up.

Hi J.,
My little girl does this and it can be a pain. So I have known other mothers who made their kids pick up the food or what ever it was. So my husband and I have tried it. It has slowed down the throwing. The first time I spent 15 mins. on the floor waiting for her to pick up the food but with a lot of pateince and commiment she finally pick up the pieces of hot dog. She has realized that if she throws it, she will have to pick it up later. As soon as she is done with eating that is when she picks up what ever she threw. Just stay calm and remind her of what you expect him to do. Yesterday, she threw food and it only took about three mins. for her to pick it up. She hates beening made to stay in the kitchen until it gets picked up.

R.

Hi J.,

I have an 17 month old boy as well, and he's always been an 'independent' one. This may seem like the total opposite of what you think you should be doing - but it works for us and our little guy.
You say he's probably doing it to entertain you, which means he's doing it to get your attention. So simply don't give him your attention. Totally ignore him when he's throwing food. If it's not getting a rise out of you, he'll move on to something else, and as you keep ignoring the bad things and aknowledging the good things - he'll choose the good behavior because Mommy and Daddy like it, and always smile and laugh when he acts that way. Praise for good behavior, ignore the bad behavior. OF COURSE, this has a limit. If he's throwing food in your face, then intervein and stop him. But otherwise, I think it will work! It may take a few tries for him to get it, so be patient!! ;O) (One of a parent's most important traits, right?)

Hope this helps! Good luck!

good luck with whatever you decide :)

Hi J....a friend of mine was in this same situation. She took her son's plate away and removed him from the table without eating another bite. Her son cried, and went to bed without dinner for 2 days. On the third day, at dinner he didn't throw food! Be strong...he won't starve if he misses a meal! Take care...

You are doing the right thing taking his food away and being firm and sticking to the same routine every time he does this.
However, the reason he is doing this lately is because of your new baby. Kids react differently and at different times and ages whenever they receive a new baby in the family.
It's very hard to keep the other sibling "included" when you have a new baby. People will ALWAYS react first to a "baby" much more so than a young or older child or an older person.
When you have visitors to your home, he already knows that they
are coming to see the baby and not so much him anymore. Ask your visitors when they come in to go straight over to him and make a fuss and ask him to introduce your new baby to them.
It will make him feel proud to be a "big" brother and still lets him feel he has an important role in the family, remember
he was once the "baby". If he does not show any interest in this role then just ask your visitors to speak to him FIRST and ask him questions about his day or play a little game with him first with his toys together. When you are alone with him and the baby talk to him about either helping you out with the baby a little or when you have finished feeding the baby or changing it make time for him with a book or game something that will bring you two closer together and you communicate with him only. If he plays up when you are with the baby make sure that next time its feeding time for the baby he has something
to do or play with so it distracts him from looking at you holding and cuddling the baby and not him. I know it hard and
exhausting but hang in there it does get better!! I know I have three children!

I would get him down from the highchair and make him pick it up, I know it can be hard at times when they don't listen, or maybe everyone get up from the table and leave him in there by himself that way he knows noone is watching so it won't be funny anymore. Good luck J.