How Do You Deal with Kids w/Depression?

I have a 7 year old son who we thought was dealing with ADHD and have been trying to find a med or diet that works and is not to harmfull. I hear everyone say that depression is a chemical balance well if that is the case do they do any special lab work or anything to determine this? I only ask for myself because my son was diagn. with ADHD just by the observation of myself and his teachers and I tend to wonder because when he is on the meds he is better but when he comes down he is at a very low or acts out. We have an appointment with his doctor in the morning so Iwas just wondering

A., as a social worker, lifelong sufferer from depression, and mom to a 6-year old child who battles depression, let me assure you that as abnormal as it feels, what your son is going through is not unusual or anyone's fault. One thing you MUST get out of your head and out of your vocabulary (and anyone else in your son's life) is the idea that depression and quality of life have to be related. Depression doesn't mean 'sadness.' It doesn't have to be situational or because of anyone's flaws... depression is often strictly chemical and beyond our control. I always tell people who just cannot grasp it... the 'picture-perfect life, etc. so HOW can this be happening?'... that depression is not sadness. Depression is the absense of happiness or the absense of satisfaction. It is not your fault he has depression. It is not his fault he has depression. It is chemical, and no amount of looking for blame on your own part or on anyone else's part is going to help or change anything... in fact, it could be very hurtful.
He needs to know, now more than ever, that this is something you are going to work on together as a family. Just like, it seems, you handle everything else with your kids. You are a good mom dealing with something that is unexpected and, it seems, not familiar to you. But now is the time to 'unlearn' the definition of depression as 'sadness caused by...' It doesn't fit in this case and will not help you or your family.
My advice, other than to stop looking for blame or reasons, is to accept the help offered by the psychologist. Listen to your son. Be there for him, just as you always are. There is support available, there are tons of ways you can help him. Most importantly, as you already know you are a good mom, continue to be that good mom. Trust that you are the most important person in his life and that you will work through this together--as a family.
There is light at the end of this tunnel. I wish you and your family peace and luck throughout.

Dear A.,

I can hear the pain in your post. I can't help but try to refer you to what I know. Please understand this is only an observation and perhaps a simple cure before trying conventional methods. My husband is a chiropractor and we have twin 6 year old boys with "sensory processing disorder" basically in the relm of Autism. I know the struggles of trying to reach a child. With regard to depression I fear so many children are mis-diagnosed and end up on meds that can cause further problems. Please go to "The Blaylock Wellness Report". I believe you can download and print the newsletter. Ironically I was just reading how certain foods and additives can play a huge role in behaviors including depression. More importantly some foods are not giving us the nutrtients and minerals our bodies/brains need to function well. This is why I am also a dist for a nutritional beverage called MonaVie is it comprised of 19 whole/organic fruits and packed full of anti-oxidants and phytontrients. You can do some further research on this newsletter by going to drblaylock.newsmax.com

There are alot of studies about "excitotoxins" found in MSG and lots of snack foods that cause disfunction in the brain. I realize that you mentioned you follow a good diet but lots of folks don't realize that even some of the low calorie/low fat snacks have artifical sweetners and/or additives that are the culprits.

I hope this helps and if you would like more information, feel free to contact me.

Debbie Penge ###-###-####

Have a blessed day!

Hi A.,
I am sorry to hear that your 9 year old is having an issue such as depression. Especially when it sounds like you are so involved in your childrens lives. I am sure you have but I just wanted to ask if you talked to him. What is he feeling? Can he maybe give you some insight on something the doctor missed. Yes depression can be a very severe thing, but the medication that they perscribe can be almost as bad. Sometimes it is not the material things lacking that changes things. It could be something at school? I hope that this helped.
Sincerely,
R.

I'm involved with a group that helps families of kids with mood and anxiety disorders here in Tampa. Families of Kids with Mood and Anxiety Disorders. www.familiesofkids.org. We just had our second parent/caregiver support meeting on Sunday. It might be helpful for your family, just to talk and get some support. We also have lots of information and resources on our website. Some of our families have kids with depression, ocd, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and more. These things happen in spite of good parenting and is not anything that you are doing or not doing. Don't let anyone tell you that. They just don't know what they are talking about. Definetly looking at diet and nutrition and some natural supplements may be a good start. Take care of yourself too. It is so hard having a kid with special needs, so take care of you so you can take care of him.
L.

Hi,
I know this is scary, and after taking care of children for over 30 years I want to share with you what I have found.
Food effects different children in different ways, and there are work ups that can identify what is causing the problem. I don't want to give you a generalization about what it could be- because, as a second generation chiropractor, and having worked with and studied nutrition at naturopathic college we know that what Hippocrates said 2000 yrs ago is still true- it starts in the gut he said. And can be different for each of us.
A great website I have found is ChildrenBehaviorhelp.com, it has alot of data and sources to help with exactly what you are asking about. You are so correct in wondering why this would be called "depression", and no one wants to have their child treated for a label, when it is a nutritional or mineral problem.
Even your doctor said it was an imbalance-- so let's find out what the imbalance is and handle the underlying problem, not the symptom.You are also welcome to go to my website docmccullen.com. In health naturally,doc

A.,
I am a mother of a 9 year old and 6 year old. Again solid marriage although some rocky times in the past. Involved in church, great school, lots of family time. We were racking our brains regarding some problems with our daughter last year. We finally saw Tara Moser at Delta Family Counselling in Cape Coral. Money well spent (insurance covered most of it). She specializes in play therapy and worked wonders with my daughter. I believe a consultation is free. Her number is ###-###-####.

Hi A.,

You sound like a remarkable mom and I am proud of you for saying 'it's not your fault.' As moms, we love to put it all on ourselves!!

When there is a chemical imbalance, doesn't it sound like they should treat the imbalance? Sometimes it is important to find a good nutritionist that can muscle test him and see what enzymes, minerals, etc. he is missing.

Holistic medicine works if you talk to the right person who is educated in how the brain functions. I am not sure what part of town you are in, but there are great health food stores in Clearwater and St. Pete. Call them and see if they have any certified nutritionists on staff. Then, you need to do your research once they tell you what they think he needs.

Good Luck and know that there is an answer and he will be okay.

L. Hein
Author
THE BOOK "I'm Doing The Best I Can!"
(They won't always be cute and adorable)
www.lisarhein.com

A., i personally dont know much about that.i only have a toddler son,but i would think that it could either be a chemical imbalance or maybe he is having a problem with something(some asspect in his life) maybe school/a friend/? But i do think a phychologist is a good idea! They would be able to figure out what the source is.

I have friends that are Pyshcologist and both of my daughters are attending college studying pyshcology. You may think you have a picture perfect life and give that to your children but what you may consider perfect might not be perfect in his eyes. How much one on one time do you spend with him? Do you still offer to read to him or let him read to you? Do you take him shopping just the two of you? Does he eat right, take vitamins? Also if he is used to having you at work and now you are at home things might be different. Maybe he doesn't like school. Before getting him treatment from a specialist I would look at things more closely at home and change things that need to be changed. Then if it continues, get help. Doctors love to make money. The longer they can keep you coming the more money they make. Very few are into the practice because they care about the people. Used to be that a doctor would see you even if you didn't have money to pay them. There are still a few of them out there. I would not let them put him on pills. It will only make things worse.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Sometimes it just is not our fault. Chemical imbalances can sometimes be temporary, his body will be going through changes....better or worse. It sounds like you are all on the right page but this challenge has been given to you for a reason. Seek a support group for family members dealing with depression because it affects everyone and perhaps you will find some light in the situation through the experiences of others. Ask your doctor or on this site if anyone knows of a group. And I ask you to beware of losing yourself caring for him. Sometimes we blindly do too much and forget about ourselves. At this point, both of you are his shelter, his rock, his support.
Good luck.

I totally agree. Doctors today do not give our nutrition enough thought. An absolute MUST READ for every woman is the new Suzanne Somers book called Breakthrough. Of particular importance is the chapter on all the additives and preservatives that are put in our foods. Glutamates are in almost every single piece of processed food that we put in our mouths (MSG is one of them) and they are known excitotoxins that severely affect our brain function (hence chemical imbalances) It's no coincidence that the increase in autism in our children has coincided with the increased amount of processed foods that we eat. Jenny McCarthy has done EXTENSIVE research on the affects of these items and the use of natural supplements to combat the effects of our toxic diets and lifestyles. She has almost completely reversed the autism in her son and has invited the APA (american Pediatric Association) to evaluate her son and they have declined to do so. I know that your son is suffering from depression and not autism but these toxins could be affecting him in a different way. this would be a way for him to combat what MAY be a nutritional imbalance or an excess of toxins in his system. This may work in conjunction with the therapy that you are already giving him- I implore you to try this first, then therapy and drugs should be an absolute last resort if all of this does not work. Good luck and God Bless!

First off, this has nothing to do with your parenting skills or the kind of person you are. Depression isn't situational, it's chemical. There is nothing that you could have done differently. I have suffered from depression since I was a kid. I did not receive treatment until well into adulthood because my mother wouldn't acknowledge the problem. You are definitely ahead of the game. The psychologist will be able to explain it to you when you see him. Just know that this is not a reflection on you. It's a chemical imbalance in your son's brain that is totally treatable.

A.,

I would listen to what the Pyshcologist has to say. See if there is a co-relation with anxiety. Some simple things you can do to start are to limit the amount of sugar and caffeine in his diet. I know you said that he plays sports and try to have him exercise regularly. Have him relax or read before bed to help him unwind. I don't care for medication myself so try diet and exercise before med. unless necessary. Just know that it is not your fault! If it is diagnosed as depression it is just a chemical imbalance which just happens to some people. Talk to him and see if there is something bothering him that he has been holding back to talk about.

I wish you and your son well,
Michele