How Do You Deal with Your Kid's Fear of "Monsters"?

Updated on February 27, 2012
J.G. asks from Minneapolis, MN
12 answers

My son (almost 3) is convinced there are monsters in the basement. I tell him there's not and don't worry and he's safe and there's nothing to be afraid of but I just remembered back to being small and being so convinced that there were monsters or bad guys or whatever that when my mom would say the same thing it was almost more scary because I'd think about how she obviously didn't know about the monsters..if she did she wouldn't tell me not to be afraid and that they weren't there because they TOTALLY WERE!

On the other hand I don't want to confirm his fear by telling him "I scared the monsters away" or whatever...I'm thinking of doing a little monster warding off ceremony where he gets like a monster stick that wards off monsters....but anyways what do you do to make your kid feel safe??

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.F.

answers from Utica on

any monsters in this house get sucked up in the vacuum. And the only monsters that come here are the silly ones like the tickle monster or the achoo monster - just make the monsters silly things and try to make it fun instead of scary

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

When my son went through this phase, I just reminded him that Elmo, Cookie Monster, Grover, etc. were ALL monsters. Not a thing in the world scary about monsters because obviously they LOVE children! My son was like "Oh yeah!". He had never thought about it like that. :)
Also, I got him one of those Spoka (sp?) from Ikea. It's a rechargeable soft night light that he could carry into bed with him. That made him feel better in general as he has never been a fan of the dark.
Hope this helps!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Monster spray! get a spray bottle and put in water with a few drops of lavender oil or another scent and tell him to spray to make the monsters go away :)

2 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I just continued to tell my boys that there was no such thing as monsters. They could look under their beds, in closets, and anywhere else...no monsters.

We never did monster spray, ceremonies, or night lights. We always closed the door at bedtime. The only nightlight in the house is in the bathroom because we need a bit of light to do our business.

I never gave in to the "I'm scared of the dark, mommy," because it's simply a stalling tactic. I simply replied "No you aren't, because you know there's nothing there." And shut the door.

For the "I'm going to have bad dreams" excuse, I always told them "Okay...you're NOT going to dream about fluffy puppies and kittens and bunnies! And don't you think about them! Don't think about cute, fuzzy bunnies hopping all over the grass!" They'd giggle and go to sleep.

Seriously...try not to think about cute animals. See what you dream of! :-)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from New York on

My son is a year older and I remember this phase well! It's a tough time because at that age they are starting to have very vivid imaginative play schemes, reading books with actual "characters" and maybe watching a little t.v. so there are so many new things to think (and worry) about. On the downside, they haven't developed the cognitive ability to differentiate between "real" and "imaginary" yet.

I wouldn't "ward off" monsters in a ceremonial way- you will be sending the message that there is a possibility that they could be there. Instead, I would turn on all of the lights in the basement, grab a few flashlights and go with him to explore. SHOW him that there is nothing to be afraid of in the basement.

At that age, we started talking about "real" and "imaginary". We explained to him that "imaginary" things are pictures in his head. "Real" are things he can see with his eyes open and touch. We used real items to explain it. Teddy Bear is real because you can hold him and see him. The giant spider who you imagine under your bed is not real because you can't see him (after looking under there with a flashlight). It takes time, but it did work.

Good luck! This phase will pass, but it's a challenging one!

Updated

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We told him that they were 'our' monsters and are there to guard the house. They watched over us when we were sleeping and watched over our house when we were out. Seemed to work.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Austin on

Our daughter said one night not to leave her alone, because she was afraid there might be a monster. We told her that of COURSE there was a monster.

His name is Stanley, and he is invisible. He lives in the garage, but on nights when she's feeling a little nervous, he comes in and sleeps under her bed. His job is to keep the bad monsters and ghosts away, and he's very good at it.

He has lots of friends and family, too. When we are going on vacation, Stanley calls one of them, and asks them to check up on us.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.V.

answers from Chicago on

When my daughter went through this stage, I entered her make-believe world and ensured her that her daddy and I caught those bad monsters and that no such things are allowed in our house. When she said but I think they are here, I said, they can't be. They aren't allowed.

it worked for her.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Do you,have a dog? I tell my rd if there were such a thing as monsters our dog would bark, and Chase them away.

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Make up some "Monster Spray" by putting a few drops of lavender oil in water in a spray bottle and affix a label. Use it to spray all around his room, and the path to the basement, and all around the basement and tell him that the "Monster Spray" will keep them away, they don't like the smell ; ) I made dozens of bottles of these a few years ago and sold them at a craft fair, I sold out and took orders, and people loved it and it works to alleviate fears...my almost 3 year old grandson can testify to that!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.D.

answers from Dallas on

I LOVE these books by Josie Bissett....

http://www.amazon.com/Tickle-Monster-Laughter-Josie-Bisse...

http://www.amazon.com/Boogie-Monster-Dance-Josie-Bissett/...

I have both kits and they are a HUGE hit at my house. There is absolutely no "bad monster" talk at our house. I originally bought The Tickle Monster for my 3yo and after my 8yo loved it just as much I bought the whole family The Boogie Monster and that has been a laugh every night for months!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from St. Louis on

I have told my daughter since she brought up ghosts around 2yo that Mommy and Daddy don't allow ghosts and monsters in our house. I said it on an off-handed way like I was telling her it was time for lunch. It worked and anytime she brings it up, which is rarely, I just repeat what I originally said but I did add that angels can come here.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions