I completely understand your dilemma. One thing that worked for me was to put my son on a 3-hour cycle throughout the day........ The 'schedule' doesn't matter with exact times, but every 3 hours my son would get fed. This way- the baby isn't just snacking every few minutes and never getting a full belly.
One thing that saved my life (and sanity) was a pouch sling. My son was pretty cranky and colicky from the beginning because of gas and thrush. As soon as I got a sling this changed.... I have a million pictures of me wearing my happy (and mostly sleeping baby) out and about, on airplanes, at weddings, etc... I liked HotSlings, but Seven Slings works well too. You will love having your hands free. Many times I could get him to fall asleep in the sling and then gently put him down on the bed and take the sling off over my head, etc... (But- for the most part, I went about my daily business snuggling him in the sling with my hands free... so I was the guilty party in never putting him down) Ha ha.
Also- if he falls asleep in the car, you may want to just leave him in the carseat while he naps (taking him out of the car of course). My son would fall asleep in the carseat, then we would use one of those car seat carriers instead of a stroller.... You can cover the front of the carseat with a soft blanket, so the light doesn't wake him... etc...
For napping- You may want to try a white noise machine. We started with the Sleep Sheep, but would have to rush to push the button again each 45 minutes.... Homedics Sound Spa (usually 20-25 bucks from Target.com or Bed, Bath, & Beyond) is great... and has a plug... it can run on a timer or plug into the wall...... The sound of the waves helped...
Also- My son (almost 3 now) still loves his Fisher Price Soothe and Glow Seahorse. It plays gentle and quiet music and the baby can self-soothe by leaning or pushing against the belly to activate the music.
And- for some reason, those Aden and Anais soft muslin blankets were like crack to my baby... They are super soft and light............ You can use them for swaddling......... but my son still runs around with them all day...
And- I know you said you didn't want book recommendations, but the video, "Happiest Baby on the Block" did help us... (just don't watch it with your baby in hearing distance because the sound of crying babies in the background may wake him...........) In the beginning of the video, Dr. Karp talks a lot (which makes you want to throw the DVD player through the window), but his tips did help us...
Basically- you learn 5 s's to calm a fussy baby:
1. Swaddling- Those velcro swaddlers are the best... My son hated being swaddled at first, but grew to love it.......
2. Side or stomach position- Gassy babies HATE being on their backs.
3. Shushing sounds (like the white noise machine) to mimic the sound of being in mother's womb
4. Swinging- If your baby sleeps in a battery-operated swing, so be it....
5. Sucking- Pacifier