How Do You Keep Your Child in Bed???

In response to your question...first of all, we started the naps before we converted my daughter to a toddler bed, so our situation was kind of backwards to yours, however, the concept is pretty much the same I guess.
For approximately 2 months before we converted our daughter's bed to a toddler, I had her napping on the couch with the lights and tv turned off. She tried several times to get up, but the result was always the same. I pretty much told her that if she didn't nap, then she couldn't get up...the fight continued a little while, but she wasn't allowed to get up, play or watch tv till she had rested, so she finally realized the routine.
In addition to not allowing her to get up, I try to give her a little "heads-up" so that she can get used to the idea and not get herself too worked up before her nap. Whether it is a tv show before or setting a timer or just giving her so many minutes and then counting down every 5 minutes, it seems to make her feel better about the idea. I think she appreciates having some control. Of course, it is control I feel okay with not the other way around.
She can sleep without the countdown, but she goes to bed easier and much happier with it.
She only occasionally tries to test it, but I always tell her the same thing.
In her case she's 3 going on 4 in June, I tried letting her stop naps, but she can get pretty cranky as well physically mean without a nap, so we have kept them manditory.
I guess my biggest advice is to decide what your list of priorities are, and then stick by whatever you choose. For us the countdown has helped alot as well as giving her a few choices, always according to what I see appropriate for her age and the situation.
My "goal" was to have a better evening...Jordan has a tendancy to start screaming and occasionally even tries to force you to do what she wants when she hasn't had a nap, so it is required; no matter how much she fusses.
I was willing to hear her fuss for about a week till she realized it wouldn't do any good, then things got alot better. She's SO much happier now.
She sometimes tries to escape her naps, but once I tell her in a firm voice that "it is nap time" she calms right down and gets into her bed willingly and usually sings or talks herself to sleep. We've even had the occasional time when she told me that she wanted to go take a nap, that she was tired and asked if she could watch a special movie when she got up, so that has been nice also.
We seldom have the extreme meltdowns anymore either, unless she hasn't had enough rest lately or no nap.
I hope this helps.

You are too funny! I don't think any mom figured this one out! Actually, all my children by 3 y/o would not nap, but they would sleep 12 to 14 hours a night.I figured it was just another growth spurt with yet another change in routine.
If you really need your mommy time, I would put him in his room and call it quiet time. He should be allowed to play with quiet items-books,puzzles or anything else that does not make noise. They use this method in preschool too. They tell the children,you don't have to sleep but just be quiet.
I think at this age, he associates being in bed as being there for the night. Maybe use a mat or a specific blamket on the floor and let him nap there. My oldest was like that at 2 y/o-nap was on the couch and night was in her bed.
Hope you figure it out.

maybe push his naptime back an hour, so then he really is ready. Or just skip naps on some days, put him to bed earlier on those days, and then the rest of the days, he'll be ready. That's what I do with my daughter. She'll be in her room hanging out and never fall asleep, but she'll catch up by either falling asleep earlier that night or taking a nap the next day.

Try laying down with him, reading a couple of stories, and then tell him it's time for sleep, and make on your going to nap too. Rub his back if he likes it, or sing, or put on a soothing CD and lay with him til he falls asleep!

Sleep is so important so first don't give up on the nap :) Second, although tedious, you just have to keep placing him back in. I used to give my five year old "napping rules" 1) no toys in the bed (otherwise he would get out and get them) 2) No getting out of bed and 3) Just sleep. I would make him repeat the rules back to me and he's such a pleaser that this strategy worked great. I would also let him pick a book to take to bed (now at 5 I let him take several) and let him "read to himself" after I read him a story first. I think setting the tone is so important during nap just like at night. We go to the potty first, second take of pants so napping is comfy, third close the blinds and curtain, fourth read to him, fifth he picks a book to take to bed, 6 get in bed and go over the rules 7 hugs and kisses and then I leave he reads and then he goes to sleep. I basically do the same thing with my daughter she is now three and started to get out of bed.. but I just check on her and if she's up, I put her back in without saying a word. (over and over, if I have to) but really it's a rare occasion when she gets out after doing the routine. I think they are the most resistant if they are rushed into bed. Hope that helps :)

Have you tried hand cuffs? Just kidding. You can put a kid in his bed, but you can't make him sleep. He may not need that much sleep during the day anymore. My kids at that age would not go to sleep in the evening if they took a three hour nap during the day.

The suggestions about instituting a quiet time are good. You might start if off by telling him that mommy is going to have a quiet time too. Read him a book in his room, that's not too exciting, and then tell him that mommy is going to leave the room, and he is going to have his quiet time. If you insist that he stay in his room and play quietly and enforce that, he will get the idea. But it will take some time and patience on your end. You might try a short period of time at first and then extend it a few minutes each day until he reaches the time you want him to. But I think three hours in one place for a toddler may not happen. That's an eternity to someone so young. An hour is probably much more doable.

Never did figure that O. out! LOL
I believe what we did at that stage was to let him lie on his bed and watch a DVD and sometimes he would fall asleep.......
Try to explain that he needs to stay in his room for X amount of time. I used to tell my son he could read books, play quietly or watch a movie but he had to stay on his bed.
Sorry--not much help.
I would just adjust his bedtime according to nap vs. lack of nap. :-)
Good luck!

Hi M., LOL I remember those days! We bought a huge floor pillow and I would put a disney movie in the VCR and lay down with our girls for nap time on the living room floor. I worked a swing shift schedule and needed the nap as much as they did...it worked for me. Now my babysitter had no problems putting them in their beds for naps go figure! You could also try instead of insisting that he sleep that he look quietly at a book for a set amout of time. Maybe if you can get him quiet he will fall asleep on his own. Good luck and best wishes

Hi M.,

I had the same problem with my son at that age and we also had a gate in the door. He would sometimes knock it over and come running out - for him it became a game. What worked for me which was very hard at the time was just putting him back in his bed. Whenever he would get out, I would pick him up put him back in his bed and leave the room without saying a word. I remember almost being in tears after doing this same ritual a dozen times sometimes. But, after being consistent, he would always give up and take his nap. I don't remember how long we did this, my guess is a couple weeks, but he is 4 yrs now and still takes a nap and never leaves his room at nap or bedtime even without a gate. I don't know whether it will definitely work for you, but it did for me. The key is to not let your emotions show no matter how frustrated and exhausted it makes you. Just place him back in bed without a word as long as it takes. Good luck - hang in there! Time flies and you won't even remember the tough times like these!

K.

This is what we had to do for our children and it worked.
Make sure that his room is safe enough for him to be in there by himself without you being able to see him.
We do the whole naptime routine, put them in their bed, say "Good night" and walk out. Close the door all the way behind you and put a childproof lock on the inside so that he cannot open the door. He will get out of his bed and probably sleep on the floor for the first few naps. But he will quickly learn that your not coming back in and will start staying in bed since it's more comfortable.

It's hard to do, but sometimes a little tough love is just what the Dr. orders.

I'm not sure if he has his door closed or not, but we have a door handle lock on the inside of the door and my almost 3-year-old doesn't fight it. For our son, consistancy was key. We have a routine every nap and bedtime that never changes. We read one book and then it's "quiet time" at nap time. We put on music and close his door. We do a longer version of this with prayers and brushing teeth at night.

One thing my mom used to do with us (I'm the oldest of 8 kids) is take us to the library right before nap time and we had books we wanted to read to take with us to nap.

Good luck!

I don't know how to keep them in bed at naptime as I have the same problem. I, too, have gates at their doorways so they can't get out. I don't mind if they don't sleep but I insist they have some down time so I always put them in their bedrooms and if they play quietly I am okay with that. If they get noisy they get a privilege taken away. If their behavior in the late afternoon or evening indicates they should have taken a nap, I put them to bed early.

My sister in law found that if e even said the word "nap" my niece would rebel. So what did she do? She called it "relaxing time". My niece didn't have to actually sleep, just lay in the designated spot with books or crayons. I'd add to this by having some kind of timing device...when it goes off, relaxing time is over and he can come out. I'd make sure the timing device isn't loud, though, in case he actually fell asleep! Maybe use one of those turtle/star lights that goes off after 45 minutes. Then you could say the turtle "woke up" and "relaxing time" is over. :)

I had to laugh at your title, because i have no idea.

as far as nap time goes, I wouldn't give up, you are most likely right that he still needs his nap, 3 hours seems like a lot to me but if it is working for you don't change it.
I think first, try to think back to what was different that morning or the night before that might have got him off schedule and try to avoid that ever happening again.

Then just stick to your normam routine, but know when to say, enough is enough and trying to get him to sleep isn't worth the frustration. I think giving it an hour seems like pently of time that if he were going to fall asleep he would have. If there is nothing in his room for him to play with or get into other than some stuffed animals or something then I would push a little harder on the "you have to stay in your room and play quietly".

One thing that was helpful for my kids was listening to stories on Cd that we would borrow from the library. I would always push repeat all so the cd would continue in case it wasn't long enough the first time. There are lots of cute ones out there, our library has lots of Thomas ones and at the least it might get him to stay in his room and give you a little bit of sanity. just becareful of cords and strangulation.

Usually these nap strikes don't last all that long.
Hope tommorrow is better for you.

Hey M.,
I'm reading through some other responses and people are suggesting he give ups his naps. Is that the feeling you are getting from your son or was it a one week only type of nap strike, where he just got off shedule due to adjusting tot he the new freedom?? I was basing my advice on him just being a little off not giving naps up entirely. My son napped until he was 5, partially because i needed him to be quiet for his sister to nap. when he wasn't falling asleep until after 10 pm, i had to cut the naps and move bedtime to 8:30. it's hard to tell, but i wouldn't have him stop napping unless he is showing other signs of not needing the day time nap.

Having the same problem with my daughter who just turned two. Let me know if you find any good advice

Obviously he does not need a three hour nap, or he would sleep. As a mom, you may need the three hour nap more than him. maybe he can take a nap on the couch, but if a kid doesn't want to sleep, you can't force him. At his age, he is getting to old to take three hour naps. Also, never hold a child down in bed, it is scary and will make him want to stay in bed even less. In addition, he will not trust you to keep him safe when he is in bed.

I am confused by the all of the gates and locks for kids to keep them in their rooms. You have to teach them internal responsiblity. These items are like band-aids. I know I sound critical, but I am concerned that nobody has addressed how dangerous many of these issues are. What if you have a fire??? When do you teach the child to figure out how to sleep. Why does he have to take a three hour nap? Maybe I am an older mom, age 44 with a 12, 8, and 5 year old, but I have never done any of these things and my kids are fine. Let kids be kids, please. I work with mentally ill children and most of their issues are from overprotective parents who do not teach any internal soothing or responsiblity to their children. I will fix everything for you, the parents say....I know I will receive critism for my post, but I am outraged that this site does not intervene at times to what is unsafe and just plain wrong. We as a culture have made moms feel like they have to be perfect. Doctors tell us what we should do and we compare ourselves to everyone and if we don't, we criticize (sp?) ourselves. Let the madness stop and just be a parent!!!!

It sounds like he's outgrowing the long nap. You're lucky it lasted until almost 3!

At that age, we started letting our daughter "rest" on the couch. If she didn't fall asleep, she didn't. She usually didn't. Now she starts to drift off right around dinner time and we don't let her (time for spontaneous ring around the rosy or a quick walk around the block) because it messes up bed time. It's tough when the naps go away-especially when you want to accomplish things! but it happens.

If you do want to keep him napping when you say so, then enforcing your direction for nap time is the same as for anything else. By three, if you ask him not to get out of bed, or tell him it's time to take a break in bed for a rest or quiet play time, he should do what you say. You can keep checking in on him and if after an hour, he's still not asleep, just reading and playing, etc you can let him come out. But don't let him defy your instructions immediately as you're putting him down. Enforce it as you normally would enforce something, or don't ask for it in the first place.

If he's really not tired, and you don't want to enforce rest time firmly, it's time to give up the naps. You say you gave up when taking a toy away and threats didn't work. Ineffective consequence + parents giving up=not gonna work. This was a victory for him, and it will probably get worse since he doesn't seem tired enough to drop in his tracks voluntarily.

You could put him down a bit later, or get him up a bit earlier in the morning, and be sure he exercises a lot in the morning to help, but make sure you're ready to accept that his naps might be over. You can still direct him to quiet time for yourself.

If he refuses to do what you say and gets over all the physical bars and barriers, that's a discipline issue. He should learn to regulate himself when you say to go relax. He should not be permitted to roam out of his room (at night -it's a safety thing), and it shouldn't be just a gate retaining him.

We taught our daughter to go right back to bed the first couple of times she roamed out, by just using a firm tone and not allowing her to stay out of bed-even though we thought it was so cute and secretly wanted to laugh and play with her. We knew it would snowball, so we stood firm. Sometimes now I give her the option of staying up late with me or sleeping with me if papa's out of town, but only because she always goes to bed nicely on her own. No bars. No gates. Got her own big girl bed at age 2.

If your discipline is in place in general, and they know your words will be followed by actions at all other times, bedtime won't be an issue either. By age three, verbal commands should be enough. Don't give threats! They're too ambiguous, scary, and usually don't really happen.
You mention the terrible twos. You may need to tighten your discipline in general if this is going on, and the napping along with everything else will be easier. Although, I still say, he sounds like he's outgrowing his naps... Good luck!

I wish that I had some good advice for you but unfortunately the switch to the big-boy bed spelled the end of naps for my sons. I was never able to figure it out either. I know that a lot of people do put their kids in their rooms at a certain time for "quiet time" if you yourself miss the naptime you could try that.